A little drabble. No pairings, no point. Just meant to last five minutes and take the edge off your hard day by laughing at someone else's stupidity instead of everyone laughing at yours.

Prompt: "Gravity and I have an understanding," Balthier crows, kissing away Vaan's cries that the skystones are weakening. From kleptein number by CaideSin

The Sky is Falling… Or Not

Vaan thought Bhujerba was the coolest, most awesomest place he had ever been. Never mind the fact that he had never been anywhere but Rabanastre and the deserts surrounding it, no, that wasn't important at all. What was important was that Vaan was here in Bhujerba –a flying city– right now, about to embark on the greatest adventure of his life.

After rescuing Penelo, of course.

Imperials were rushing about as soon as the group stepped off the Strhal. Balthier and Basch spoke in low tones about them, but Vaan was too busy to notice. He thought he heard Balthier mention something about not using names, but then he noticed a strange flying machine that looked like it transported people from one end of the city to another, and Vaan was off to try and get a closer look.

"The Lhusu Mines are just up ahead," Balthier spoke and Vaan stopped looking around long enough to pay attention. He didn't want to get left behind, after all. "Though I do hear there's not much left there these days."

Vaan's excitement dimmed a little at that. He wanted adventure, not empty holes in the ground.

"You're on your way to the mines?"

The group turned at the new voice and Vaan peered at the boy curiously. He was young, not more than thirteen, and dressed in the same fashionable style as Balthier. Except for the shoes; was he wearing high-heels? How uncomfortable. Curious, Vaan listened closely to the conversation.

"Then please allow me to accompany you. I have an errand to attend to there."

"What manner of errand?" Basch asked, his voice suspicious.

"What errand? I might ask the same of you."

Vaan smiled. He liked this kid; he had spunk.

"Right, come on then," Balthier shrugged, tilting his head.

"What?" Vaan asked in surprise. Balthier had given in rather quickly. You'd think a man with headhunters constantly chasing after him would be more cautious. Then again, he had let Basch join them in the dungeons, and even Vaan in the waterways. The man seemed awful trusting for a sky pirate.

"Excellent." The boy's voice broke Vaan of his thoughts as he turned back to the newcomer.

"Do me a favor and stay where I can keep an eye on you," Balthier ordered. "Should be less trouble that way." Vaan raised an eyebrow skeptically. Maybe Balthier wasn't as trusting as he thought.

"For us both," the boy agreed.

Tired of thinking of the boy as "the boy," Vaan crossed his arms and asked casually, "So, what's your name?"

"Oh I–ah, I'm Lamont."

Vaan grinned at Lamont. "Don't worry," he said confidently, "I don't know what's in that mine, Lamont, but you're in good hands." He placed a hand on Lamont's shoulder. "Right Basch?"

Balthier and Basch traded incredulous looks and Vaan had the decency to be embarrassed. Right, he had forgotten the whole "no name" thing. Vaan shrugged. Oh well, too late to take it back now.

"Just for that," Balthier frowned. "You're the one getting all the supplies."

"What? Hey!"

Balthier ignored his protests and shoved some gil into Vaan's hands. He then turned to Lamont. "Where's the nearest pub?"

"Oh, that would be the Cloudebourne," he answered promptly.

"Excellent," Balthier grinned. "We shall gorge ourselves on food and drink while Vaan does the shopping."

"That's not fair!" Vaan exclaimed.

"Tough luck," Baltheir grinned. "You'll just have to deal with it. Come on, then." Balthier led the group away, leaving an annoyed Vaan behind. He didn't want to be the gofer, damn it!

None the less, he had no choice as his friends rounded the corner and left him behind. Grumbling some more at the unfairness of it all, Vaan began searching for the nearest weapons shop. Just for this, he was going to buy Balthier the cheapest gun he could find.

Vaan never managed to carry out his threat though, as he became distracted by another flying machine.


"Where is that bloody boy?" Balthier growled in annoyance. They had been sitting in the Cloudebourne for nearly two hours, waiting on Vaan. The food they had ordered for the blonde (at Lamont's insistence) had gone cold. Everyone else had finished eating sometime ago and were impatient to get moving. With sigh, Balthier stood.

"I'll go find the worthless churl," he announced. "We'll meet you at the Mine's entrance soon."

The group nodded and Balthier left. The city was still bustling with life for the mid-afternoon rush. Balthier casually made his way past all the people and ducked into the nearest shop, which happened to be selling armor. Vaan was nowhere to be found, so Balthier left to try somewhere else.

Half an hour later, Balthier was seriously considering just leaving the stupid street rat behind. But if he did that, he would never get the chance to strangle him for making him run around the city like this. Both were very tempting ideas.

Balthier stepped out of Gambit Shop and ran a hand through his short hair. He growled to himself in sheer annoyance. That was it. This was the last shop and Balthier was tired of running around. Vaan was getting left behind. They needed to get going into the Mines.

"I love messing with these dumb tourists."

"What'd you do now?"

Balthier paused in his steps and listened to a conversation between two Bhujerban men a few feet away.

"Some pretty little blonde kid from Rabanastre. He was running around asking questions. Asked me how the city floats."

His companion laughed. "And what did you tell him?"

"Giant skystones."

Both men roared with laughter and Balthier sighed.

"And get this," the man continued once he'd clamed down. "I told the kid were about to fly over Mt. Bur-Omisace. He's convinced the city is going fall!" His friend grabbed his sides, he was laughing so hard. "Ran off to try and tell some officials."

Balthier had heard enough. He hurried back towards the Aerodrome, hoping that Vaan hadn't done something stupid, like go to the Imperials. Considering that he was dumb enough to believe the Bhujerban's lie, Balthier wouldn't put it past the blonde to have done so. He was just passing through the Travica Way when he heard a familiar voice.

"Please! You have to let me see the Marquis!" Vaan was pleading desperately with the guards blocking the way to the Marquis' estate. His eyes were wide and full of fear and the guards looked very uncomfortable as they denied him access. "It's life and death!" Balthier shook his head and hurried forward.

"Excuse me, gentlemen," he interrupted. Vaan turned around, his face lighting up hopefully as he saw Balthier.

"Balthier!" Vaan exclaimed. "We have to get into see the Marquis! It's very important! You have to do something!"

"Calm yourself, Vaan," Balthier ordered. He turned to the guards. "My apologies, sirs. It's his first time here. I shan't let him wander off again."

"See that you don't," one guard muttered, looking distinctly relieved that someone was coming to take Vaan away.

"Come along, Vaan," Balthier grabbed his arm and dragged him away.

"But Bal—"

"No names!" He hissed, though he realized it was too late to say that now.

Vaan fell quiet as Balthier dragged him through the streets. He turned down an alley behind the weapons shop and spun the blonde around.

"We have to warn someone!" Vaan began without preamble. "These guys told me that Bhujerba is able to fly because of skystones. But we're going to be flying over Mt. Bur-Omisace and everyone knows Mt. Bur-Omisace is a Jagds area which means that skystones don't work around it which means if Bhujerba flies over it the city will fall and everyone will die—" (1)

Balthier had heard enough of Vaan's terrified chatter. He slapped a hand over the boy's mouth and sighed. The dirt on Vaan's face was smeared from tears that had escaped his eyes. He stared up at Balthier, confused and not understanding.

"Vaan," Balthier sighed. "I know this will probably be difficult for you to do, but think about this logically." Vaan tried to say something but Balthier was still covering his mouth with his hand. "Number one, skystones are used for airships, not flying cities. Number two, we are nowhere near Mt. Bur-Omisace. And thirdly, think about it, Vaan. If the city really was in danger of falling, do you honestly think everyone would be going about their normal, everyday business?"

Vaan sniffed and shook his head, adverting his eyes. Balthier, seeing that the boy had clamed down, removed his hand.

"But if the city doesn't use skytones to fly," Vaan asked quietly, "then how does it?"

How the hell should he know? He wasn't some Bhujerban scientist. But Vaan needed an answer or else he would just keep freaking out at every little thing. And since Balthier had no real answer for him, a distraction would have to do.

"Gravity and I have an understanding," Balthier smirked confidently. "So long as I am deliriously gorgeous and agree to engage in visitations to the sky as often as possible, she will never drop flying cities onto anyone's heads."

Vaan stopped and processed the words. He looked at Balthier disbelievingly. "You're lying."

"You'll believe a stranger that a city is flown by skystones, but won't listen when I tell you that I seduced Lady Gravity?"

Vaan finally offered a small smile. "I guess it was rather ridiculous, wasn't it?"

"Hmph, yes, I would think so," Balthier agreed.

"I'm sorry."

Balthier couldn't help but smile at the embarrassed look Vaan now sported. The teen refused to meet his eyes and scrubbed at the dirt on his face. Balthier found the action rather endearing.

"There, there," Balthier teased, patting his head. He was momentarily surprised with how soft and clean it felt. He had thought, with all the dust on his body, Vaan's hair would have been full of sand as well. "All better."

Vaan scowled and batted Balthier's hand away. "Stop it," he ordered.

"I am simply treating you like the child you insist upon acting like," Balthier smirked. He turned away from the spluttering teen. "Come now, we've made the others wait far too long for our appearance. And, unlike you, the leading man can not afford to be absent."

Vaan rolled his eyes. "Will you stop with the leading man stuff already?" He grumbled under his breath, "Narcissist."

"At least I have something to be proud of." Balthier casually tripped Vaan, laughing at the undignified heap he landed in. People paused in their activities to laugh in amusement and Vaan turned bright red. "Next time, don't make me search." Balthier ordered.

Vaan scowled and scrambled after the leading man.


Jagds: I'm not entirely sure if all this is true. I read it on some random Final Fantasy site that I just can't remember anymore. Anyway, it fit the story, so, whatever.

A/N: I wrote this a long time ago, but only just now got around to posting it. I was going to make it a yaoi, but changed my mind. Sorry if there are any little grammar mistakes, I only read through it once.

Um, well, nothing else really. Hope it helped take the edge off your day.