I've known for…a long time that I'm I love with Temperance.
Working cases with her, I know this now. And there's nothing in the world that can change my mind about that. In my mind, anymore, there's nothing but her face. Her captivating green-blue eyes that never stop startling me with their brilliance.
Why can't I stop thinking about her? I mean, you'd think that in this moment, my only focus would be the body, sitting there smelling. I mean, this thing has been in the sun for at least a week, in the middle of July at that. But it's not. It's on how the sun catches her hair, how her eyes comb the body for evidence, how beautiful her voice is when she speaks.
"Booth? Something wrong?"
"Huh? Um…No, Bones."
"You're staring…at me." She said, the question plain in her voice.
"No, I was staring past you." I lied. "The smell is getting to me, so I'm trying to ignore it by thinking of other things. And staring past you as I do it."
"What were you thinking of, as you were staring 'past' her." Cam said, grinning.
"Uh…Nothing."
"Were you thinking of her?" Cam said.
"No…" I thought I was good at lying, dang it!
"Were you, Booth?" She asks in that perfect, soft voice.
"No." I said, willing it to be true.
"Okay. I'll talk to you later on it, though. You looked very bothered."
"I wasn't bothered, Bones." And I hadn't been! I'd been intoxicated, and there was a difference.
Intoxicated was so much worse than just bothered….
"I have to head back to the Jeffersonian." I said.
"Why?" Bones asked, looking right at me with those gorgeous eyes…I swear, unintentional seduction should be illegal.
"The smell is getting to me." Technically, not a lie. The smell was God-awful.
"All right. I'll give you details when I get back." Bones told me, turning back to the corpse.
"Sure." I said, walking away. I was falling apart…
I loved her more than I could bear. Everyday I longed to pull her close to me, look into those beautiful eyes, and breathe everything I've ever felt into her ear. I wanted to tell her how I felt, but I was scared out of my wits to do so.
Yeah, I'm not scared of guys pointing guns at me. I don't scare easily. But telling Bones how I feel…that was a scary thought. Made ten times worse by the fact that I was confession love to a woman who didn't believe in true love…
I had to get this off my chest; I had to tell someone who could tell me what to do!
And I knew just which stinkin' squint I had to tell…
"Hey, Sweets…" I knocked on the door to his office.
"Oh, hello Agent Booth. You don't have a session with me today-"
"I know that. I just…I need to talk to you." I went into his office and sat in one of the chairs.
"What do you need to talk about, Agent Booth?" He gave me that smile that screamed, "I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR HA HA HA." I wanted to kill the little twit…
"I just… Look, Squint, this never leaves this office unless I give the okay, got it?"
"Agent Booth, according to the law, I'm not allowed to tell anybody else what a patient tells me."
"Good." Damn, I'd known that, too. "I'm in a situation that I need some advice to help me handle it." I gritted my teeth.
"I can't help you unless I know what this…situation is."
'YOU KNOW ALREADY!!!' I screamed in my mind.
"I'm in love with Temperance…" I said, admitting defeat.
"Have you told her this?"
"No!" I glared at him.
"Well, the solution to the problem is easy, Agent Booth. You have to tell her."
"Great answer, kid. I don't have the foggiest idea HOW."
"Well, the easiest way to look at this is to break down how Dr. Brennen thinks on these matters. Do you know her views on this?"
"Yes." Oh, I wished I didn't… "She doesn't like the whole love thing. She doesn't think two people can truly love each other forever. She doesn't believe in marriage… She thinks it's all illogical."
"That's what you've gathered from conversations from her?"
"Yes. She's told me all of this." I sighed.
"That's not how she sees it." He said in a matter of fact tone.
"How do you know that?" I glared at him. "You think you know her better than I do?"
"I don't know her personality quirks like you do, no. But I know how a human mind works. It isn't that Dr. Brennen does not, somewhere in her heart, believe that she could love like that or that she could be loved like that. She can and she believes. But she is scared to."
"What makes you say that, Squint?"
"She hasn't had good experiences with love, Booth. She loved her father, right? And he is a criminal. She loved her mother, and can probably remember a little bit of her. Her mother wound up dying for some crime-linked reason. She loved Russ. Russ left her, Booth. Every single person she has loved with a whole heart has hurt her in some horrible way. She is terrified to let her heart be open like that again for fear of being crushed once more."
"That doesn't explain why she's scared of marriage."
"No. She relies on statistics. She's seen the divorce statistics and has dated a lot of guys, Booth. All of those relationships didn't last, even if she had the faintest hope that they would. She knows how many marriages end. She doesn't want to end up that way, because it would break her. And she doesn't like the thought of being broken like that; she likes to be strong."
"Great. So, what, I'm supposed to guarantee her I won't ever leave her? I wouldn't, not of my own will, but I could die every single day in this job! I can't guarantee her that I'll be there forever! And I can't help myself dying! What the hell, I couldn't do that to her! Love her and then get my ass killed!"
"No. But you can love her anyway. Guys like you don't die easily, Booth. You've proved that after Pam shot you. You went into the lair of Gormogon and survived. You went to war and came back. You're a tough piece of meat."
"Good point." I needed desperately to calm down… "I think I know how I can tell her. Thanks, Dr. Sweets."
"Did you just call me Dr. Sweets?" He looked amazed.
"Yeah."
"I hope Dr. Brennen will realize that you've gone insane."
"Shut up, Squint."
"Ah, now I know you're sane."
I shook my head and left his office, finding my way to Bones'. I sat on her couch, waiting for her to return.
Half an hour is a long wait…
She walked in, looking a bit frazzled and busy as always.
"Booth." She was startled. "What are you doing in here?"
"I need to talk to you, Bones."
"Ok…" She was really confused now. It was cute… She came to sit next to me.
"If you had one shot, one chance to put your heart on your sleeve and your love on the line, for someone who truly loved you, would you do it?"
"I don't know, Booth, it would really depend on who the person was…"
"Someone who has known you for a very long time."
"Well…Possibly. Booth, I really don't understand where you're going with this…" She still had that adorable confused look on her face.
"Brennen," I took her hands in mine, looking into her eyes. Wow…it was very difficult to focus looking at something so beautiful… "I love you. I care for you more than anything… I didn't just take Pat's bullet to protect my partner. I did it to protect someone I love. I've watched you every day since I became your partner… And I've fallen completely in love with you. I know you don't believe that someone can truly be in love, but would you give me one shot? Would you trust me? I know you're scared; you've loved people who have left you and hurt you. But I swear, the only way I will leave you is if God calls me home."
"Booth…I…" I noticed tears forming in her eyes…Oh, damn it! I'd gone and upset her. "I never thought you'd say that…Yes, I'll trust you. I'll love you."
She wrapped her arms tightly around me and I hugged her back.
"If you trust me, why are you crying?" Good grief, she confused me!
"I've never been this happy." She pulled back to look at me. "Never."
"Good." I grinned at her. "It's my job to make you happy."
I pulled her close again and kissed her. She sighed and pretty much just melted in my arms, sighing. I took advantage of her sigh and deepened the kiss.
"Brennen," Angela's voice was somewhere close to Brennen's office. Oh, well…Let her find us. I just hoped she didn't keel over from excitement.
"Brennen?" She was in the office by now. Neither of us really cared. "Oh! Oh, my gosh! Sorry!" I heard her leave.
I broke the kiss, needing air.
"You know, the entire lab is now going to know about this." I told Bones.
"I know. It doesn't really matter, they would know anyway. Angela has been dropping huge hints that I should get together with you anyway."
"I'm glad you finally did."
"Me, too…"
