Chapter 1: He's Back
Bella's POV:
Biology. I hate this class, I thought as I walked into the small classroom. Biology brought up bad memories; things that I never wished to think about again. I sighed and walked over to my seat, staring at the ground.
"Hey, Bella," Angela said cheerfully. At least someone was happy.
"Hi," I replied glumly, still looking at the floor. I really didn't want to be spoken to during Biology. It would just bring up unpleasant, well, no they weren't unpleasant, in fact, they some of the happiest times in my life, it was just painful. Anyway, I should be glad that people are speaking to me again. If I went back into my zombie state again, I'm not sure that even Jacob could pull me out of it.
Jacob. He had been such a help to me, and the sad thing was, he would never know how much I really needed him, or how grateful I was to have him. He was the second best thing to, no, I can't think his name.
I walked slowly to my seat in the far corner of the room. When I got to the desk, I put my face in my hands with my eyes shut tight, already tired of this class even though it hadn't even started. Then I heard it. A musical voice right next to me, whispering my name. But no, it couldn't be him. There was no way! But, then again, I wasn't in any danger, so why would I be hearing hallucinations, and during biology, too! I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, trying to block out the voice that kept repeating my name.
These hallucinations would do nothing to help me or improve my mood. No, they would probably worsen it. Poor Jacob. He would have to deal with a sad, depressed me. But, maybe he's used to it by now. And today we were supposed to go cliff diving too! What a horrible way to ruin a perfectly fine day. I willed my hallucinations to stop so that I could concentrate on what the teacher was saying. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. Weird. No one sat at the desk next to me.
"Edward Cullen, if you have something to say perhaps you should tell it to the whole class," the teacher, Mr. Malone, barked. I gasped, and lowered my hands from my face, slowly opening my eyes. It couldn't be. Not Edward. Not here. I must still be asleep. I'm still dreaming. I'll wake up and this will all just be a dream. Then his voice rang out again.
"Sorry, Mr. Malone. It won't happen again," my favorite voice said, coming from right beside me.
"See that it doesn't," Mr. Malone grunted. I took a deep breath and slowly turned my head to look at the seat beside me. What I saw was impossible. It was Edward, sitting right beside me, staring at me with, dare I say, love in his eyes. Impossible. My eyes widened and I quickly turned my head back in the direction of Mr. Malone.
"Bella," Edward said again, his velvety voice pleading at me to look at him, but I didn't. "Bella, I need to talk to you!" I couldn't take this anymore. I must be insane. Then again, Mr. Malone saw him too, so where does that leave me? I needed to get away. I needed to think.
"Mr. Malone," I said raising my hand high in the air.
"Yes, Isabella?" he asked. Dang. He still didn't call me Bella.
"I'm not feeling well. May I please go to the nurse?" I asked weakly, not having to pretend to sound ill. I truly didn't feel all right.
"Fine," Mr. Malone grunted, obviously annoyed that I had interrupted his lesson. "Do you need assistance, Miss Swan?"
"No!" I said loudly. "I think I can walk to the nurse's by myself at least." I got up out of my chair, but immediately tripped. Edward made a move to help me up, but I stood on my own with as much dignity I could muster, and walked out the door. As soon as I was a good deal away from the classroom, I ran off to my truck at a sprint. As soon as I reached my destination I laid my forehead on the cool metal of my truck and breathed in deeply.
"Bella!" I heard a voice yell after me. I turned around quickly. Dang it. It was Edward. How was I supposed to think clearly with him near me?
"Bella!" he yelled again. I ignored him and opened the door of my truck. As soon as I did, Edward was at my side.
"Hello, Edward," I said emotionlessly. I didn't want him to know how I felt yet.
"Bella, you must be so-"
"Confused. Angry. Hurt," I finished for him.
"Well, yes. But please let me explain!" he begged.
"Explain what?" I asked angrily, slamming my car door shut and looking him in the eye. "You left me, Edward Cullen, and when you did you seemed to explain perfectly well then."
"Bella, please. Just listen to me!" he begged. For some reason I didn't feel forgiveness or even pain, I just felt anger. Anger at everything I had to go through for some rash decision of his that I had no control over, and anger at how he expected everything to be fine and to start again right where we left off. Well, did I have something to say about it? Yes, I did, and I was going to have my say.
"No! You know what, Edward, I can't believe you think that you can just walk into my life again. You made it perfectly clear on that day that you left that I wasn't good enough for you and that you didn't want me. So what, now you just changed your mind all of a sudden? I don't think I can just sit here and let you mess around with my life because, you know what, what you do affects me to, not just you. When you left, my heart was ripped into shreds! It's taken this long for me to at least gather up the pieces, and even now it's still not better. I just don't think that I can trust you anymore. I can't be hurt like that again, Edward, or else I'll die. Good bye," I said, tears running down my cheeks. I opened the car door quickly and hopped in and drove away with Edward begging to listen to him and to come back. Well you know what, Edward, I've had enough of listening to you. I sure listened when you told me what you thought of me that day in the woods, so why would I listen now?
Then the realization of what I had done hit me. I had given him up, the only person I could ever truly love with all my heart and soul. I had given up the perfect man. Edward was my one true love and I had thrown him away in just a few words and one bad action. Now he was free to go and find another human who was prettier, braver, and more graceful than me to love. I was never that interesting anyway. Oh my God. What have I done?
