Total Pokémon Island Episode 1: Campers Gone Wild
"Hi, I'm Turtwig, and I'll be your host of the first season of Total Pokémon Island! Your co-host of the season will be my wife, Snivy. Our Chef, Keckleon, is also a character that is used to develop challenges, display challenges, and hide while listening of the drama among the campers!" Turtwig says with a cheesy smile and wink towards the camera.
Once the introduction video is taken, Turtwig looks over the verdant grass onward towards the snug—yet somewhat comforting—cabins and rickety old beds. The giant cliff that hangs off the bay of the island of the competition looms with an ominous, foreboding feeling of dread and despair.
However, on the other side of said island, Turtwig views his wife Snivy putting on sunscreen near the dock and Chef Keckleon spicing things up with a welcoming "feast."
Turtwig runs towards the dock and his wife, frantically screaming "Snivy! Keckleon! Be ready for the contestants! All 25 of them are on their way now!"
"The first five are already within view," Snivy says with a smirk of satisfaction.
As a matter of fact, it's true. A giant Wailord is carrying five different Pokémon to the dock. As the whale approaches the dock, Turtwig hops upon the platform and gets his microphone ready.
"Why hello there, Wobbuffet! You're the very first contestant to step on the island! Is there anything you'd like to say?" Turtwig gestures the microphone to Wobbuffet, who at first puts his hand up in the air as if he was in the military.
"HAIL HITLER! WOBBA! I'M THE HITLER OF THE FOURTH REICH! I WILL EXTERMINATE ALL JEWS WITHIN THE ISLAND" the blue blob screams to the top of his lungs.
The blob throws himself off the whale and jumps on the platform. The next Pokémon is yet another psychic type, however this one instead has a spoon in one hand and a star on his forehead.
"Sorry, WobbaHitler, but there aren't any Jews on the island—yet," Turtwig slyly announces.
"Hi, I'm Kadabra, and I'm going to sweep the contest and defeat the contestants one by one!" the brown and yellow creature triumphantly pronounces.
As Kadabra steps off of the whale, Wobbuffet starts calling him a Jew because of the "Star of David" on his head. Kadabra retaliates saying he really is a Jew and that he needs to respect it.
"WAH! WHOA! OH MY GOSH! I'M DIZZY! STOP IT!" a panda teeters off the whale and into the water below, where many sea creatures start nibbling at it.
"I'm not responsible for anything until you sign the contract," Turtwig quickly suggests as he doesn't want to be stuck with bills already.
"Mom, you didn't have to carry me, I can swim!" the unevolved whale cries, "My My Little Pony collection is strapped to my back, and I'm going to fly away because I'm Rainbow Dash~"
The Wailmer hops into the water and helps Spinda out, while the others remain on the deck above. Turtwig looks and it appears to be two more Pokémon left, not one—so there were six on a Wailord's back!
Two mice, one red and one blue, scream 'yay' as they hop onto the deck and meet the contestants. The two are frolicking about and zapping each other with electricity.
"Welcome, Plusle and Minun. Howe are y-"
"OHMYGOSH! PLUSLE, LOOK AT OUR CABINS! EEEEEEE!" the blue mouse cheers.
"EYE KAY ARE! EEEEEEEE!" the red mouse agrees in a mimicking manner.
"The next Wailord is carrying four contestants, so it looks like Minun joined the first one instead of the second," Turtwig explained to his wife.
A small brown Pokémon with a skull on its head pops out of the Wailord's blowhole and thuds onto the dock. "Hi, I'm Cubone. Once my mother died, I was forced into an orphanage and all I have left is her skull. So I applied here to get away from the stinky toilets," the Cubone said.
The other campers look awkwardly uncomfortable at each other and eventually shrug it off. Maybe Cubone will become more optimistic as the game thrives.
Another Cubone appears, to Turtwig's surprise. There was only supposed to be one…what's going on? Suddenly, the Cubone manifested into a Zorua, and, with a wicked laugh, told the group she was deceiving them and that they should look forward to it in the future.
"She may be trouble," Kadabra suggested to the group, who all nod in agreement.
"Hi! I'm Pichu! Hi Mom! Dad! Grandpa! Grandma! Electric types! I'm here to make friends!" the yellow mouse cheered as she moved off the whale.
"Ah, this is my element. The outdoors, the challenges, the strength, the power!" an electric outlet looking Pokémon steps out from where Pichu was and flexes his muscles to the crowd…well what muscles Elekid has to flex.
Pichu's gaping mouth led towards a fly popping in and choking her. Meanwhile, Wailmer is multicolored to portray Rainbow Dash.
The third Wailord makes its way towards the dock, with the five campers swaying back and forth. The first of the five to hop off is Riolu, probably the handsomest of the contestants and definitely one with the ladies.
Spinda, Plusle, Minun, and Zorua fall flat over when the heartthrob stepped off.
"So, Riolu, it appears you've already made an indention on the contestants! Is this going to be to your advantage? Or your downfall?"
Riolu, shoving the microphone from his face, Bulks Up and impresses even Wailmer, who is currently playing a female pony. Riolu steps out and the female contestants all help him to the dock area. Once Riolu moves, a fluffy bunny hops off the whale's back and onto the cheap wooden dock.
"Buneary, so glad you could make it!"
This time the guys shriek in love. Wobbuffet attempts to propose to Buneary, but the male contestants such as Kadabra, Wailmer(ish), Cubone, and Elekid are thrusting him back.
"Already glad I came!" she giggled. Was that giggle towards Riolu?
"Don't forget about meeee!" Eevee shouts as she is shot from the blowhole and lands on top of Turtwig. "I want to evolve into one of my 7 personalities!
"Personalities?" Turtwig questions.
"Yes, personalities."
A Pokémon that appears to be wearing what looks like a diaper comes out and kicks Eevee out of the way. Meditite shows off his masculine appearance, however the diaper causes Buneary and Eevee to giggle.
"I don't see what's so funny, it isn't a diaper! It's just my lower midsection!" Meditite pouts as he stands with the others.
"Oh my gosh! It's him! It's really him! It's TURTWIG!" a small weed/flower thing squeals. Petilil stalked Turtwig down and signed up for the contest to learn more about him, as if she didn't already know everything.
"I've always wanted a fan…but on this island, I want an electric one.." Turtwig sighed. His wife would not like this.
"Oh no you don't! Get your grubby little roots off my turtle!" the garden snake hisses.
The fourth Wailord approaches and five contestants again come into view. The first one is Weedle, that annoying Pokémon from Viridian Forest. Weedle inches his way off of Wailord and prods his needle head into Wobbuffet's butt.
"AH! NO MOTHER! ABORTION!" Wobbuffet screams and dives into the water, where a school of Goldeen yet again prod him with horns.
"Hi, I'm Weedle. I'm excited to jab people with my horn! Maybe I can jab them off the island!" the small insect adamantly says.
After Weedle, the most annoying thing ever comes into view. Hoppip, probably the most hated character yet, screams and uses Stun Spore on everyone so she can lick them.
"Ow! I'm super slow now!" whined Meditite.
Once the paralysis wears off and Hoppip has a boot print on her butt, a toothed Pokémon makes his debut.
Bidoof walks on the dock and greets everyone. "This place seems nice, you gnaw?" he politely makes conversation with the group.
As the friendly "HM Slave to be" walks off, a chicken walks up and greets the cast. Torchic looks at his fellow competitors, wishes them good luck, and walks into the crowd to not be noticed. Once he's done with his introduction, a chimpanzee Pokémon concludes the fourth Wailord's trip by hopping off.
"Chimchar, I automatically hate you," Turtwig says with a look of disgust.
"Oh…sorry…I'm just here looking for some cash and maybe a boy. I won't stay too long…"
"Okay!" Turtwig smiles as his sworn enemy promised to lose.
Four Pokémon remain on the last Wailord because the last one is skidding across the water.
"Surskit's the name, winning's my game! I'm going to win the money and stuff. How much money is the prize again?"
"About ten million"
"Yeah, I'm definitely gonna win."
"We'll see," said Riolu, who was trying to determine of Surskit was a guy or a girl.
Marill hops off and greets the group. "We're going to be best friends, guys! I want all of us to make it far and have tons of fun!" she optimistically hopes.
As much of the group nods in agreement, Zorua merely laughs at the idea of it. Friends? Who needs these "friends" anyways?
Three normal type Pokémon remain. Minccino jumps off of Wailord and flirts with Eevee automatically.
"Girl, let me tell you something, oh just let me tell you some-" Minccino was interrupted.
"Back off of her. She obviously doesn't want you," Bidoof courageously stands up for the fear-stricken Eevee.
With Eevee already happy with Bidoof's courage, Munchlax comes onto the deck and immediately pops open a diet soda.
"I'm on a diet. I've lost 20 pounds and I'm trying to lose more with this competition. So don't make it easy for me to win!" Munchlax boasts.
However, Munchlax spits out all of his soda when he sees the love of his life. Happiny, the last contestant, happily skips off the whale and to the dock. Minccino and Munchlax stare one another down once they saw the other infatuated.
"Looks like a love triangle already! That should help the ratings…maybe," Turtwig pleads. This cast looks boring to Turtwig, which isn't going to do wonders for his cabin—he was going to use the money to upgrade it to a villa.
"Now that we've met the cast, we're going to end the episode—well, once I tell everyone's first challenge," Turtwig announces.
"Well, um, what is the challenge, exactly?" Cubone asks.
"FIRST OF ALL: there are now confessionals open where you can confess your secrets, problems, and anything else that won't make TV drop our show."
(First, text within parentheses is a note made by the author. Confessionals are in bold).
"So first make some confessions!"
"I'm starting to worry about Wobbuffet. He's mentally unstable! How awkward could this get, being called a Jew when I really am?!" Kadabra struggles, "I mean, I haven't done anything to 'WobbaHitler,' yet he's a complete psychopath. Let's just hope that something will get done about this…maybe he'll get booted early."
"This whole Minccino problem is getting in my way with Happiny already. I don't like the looks of this game…" Munchlax sighs.
"This is already better than the gym! Exercising in front of girls, making them giggle by making boys look bad! This will be easy!" Elekid proudly decides.
"Ok guys the challenge is this: I will put you guys on the top of the cliff with a race to the finish. If you don't want to be kicked out, don't be last. Is that clear? See you next episode of Total Pokémon Island!" Turtwig cheers towards the camera, although he has to say the closing statement again because the cap was still on the camera. With a cheesy smile and an obvious wink, the episode closes.
