Chapter 1: Out of brandy, out of money, out of luck.
"Sorry Bill," said the barkeeper, pushing Bill McGill, the lizard, out of the pub and out onto the streets, "but I can't let you have another drink."
"Ah, come off it Charlie," pleaded a very drunk Bill, slurring every word and slightly teetering on his feet, "you know...I've...I gots a-a tab here...jus..just put it on me tab." Bill then tried to walk back into the pub.
"I'm sorry Bill," said the barkeeper, stopping Bill with his arm, "but you tab is already 50 pounds, and I've already let you go over the limit of 5 pounds."
"Ah...you know...," Bill started to say, but his hat fell off and it took bill several attempts to pick it up and put it back on, "...you know, (chuckles)...that I'm good for it. Now I's would like another pint of... "
"Not another drink until the tab is paid in full." said the barkeep sternly.
"But..."
"Paid...in...full...Bill," the barkeep slightly pushed the plastered lizard down the steps of the pub, "now go home Bill." and with that, the barkeep closed the door and locked it.
Bill stood there, swaying to the left and right and a little to the back, looking at the pub door. Then sharply inhaling his breath, holding it for a few seconds, then sharply exhaling it, he then said:
"I'll...I wont be turfed out...you-you come back here and...you...come back here!" he said, pointing to the ground, but as there was no one at the door, no one answered him.
"Right! I'lls just goes 'ome and...get me...me own drink. That-that'll put a thumb in...in his...ah..." Bill waved his right arm in the air, frustrated that he couldn't think of the word. He then attempted to turn around and walk home, but he stumbled on the stairs and fell down, scraping his knee, but it didn't hurt him. He attempted to stand back up, but he kept stumbling, so he decided to walk on four legs, but even then it was a hard trip home. He stumbled to the left, then to the right, then tripping with is left arm on a park bench, he then had the means to stand back on his two hind legs. He used the park bench to steady himself up, then he leaned on it saying to nobody:
"Oy, I...I hope I make it 'ome this time..." Bill was thinking of the one time he got lost and for hours truing to find his house, "it-its so long off and all." He looked around and saw his house. "Ah...there she is." he then stumbled around and eventually reached his front door. He reached into one of his pockets on his workmen's vest for the house key, but couldn't find it.
"Now...we-where did I?"
"Bill," Bill looked around with his eyes in all directions, to spot the barkeeper waving out the pub's window at him, witch was only six feet from him, "you forgot your keys."
Bill stumbled to the stork, said a slurred "thank ye,"; turned around while fumbling for the right key, opened the door and then closed it. Bill looked around, seeing all of the empty brandy bottles, the empty wine bottles and other empty alcoholic beverage bottles.
"There's got to be one left..." mumbled the lizard, picking up and tossing empty bottles, looking for one that had at least one swig left in it. But after flinging every one aside, he then decided to check the ice box. He opened the box only to find nothing that he wanted. He checked the cupboards for a drink, but only found tea things and other dishes. He sniffed sharply, there was nothing to drink in the house.
"I suppose it's time to dip into the ol' trusty savings plan." said bill, taking off his hat and feeling in the brim for any coins he may have placed in there, but there wasn't anything. He sighed, placing his hat back on his head. He tried to think of what to do next, but the alcohol was starting to ware off, and he started to get a headache.
"Oy! I know what..." he started to say as he quickly stumbled around the house, tripping over empty bottles. He left his house, locking it behind him (after 10 minutes of trying all the keys in the keyhole), he then started his way toward the pawn shop. Half-way there, Bill's pub mate, a garden snake, slithered up to the lizard, who was equally drunk at the time, said:
"How's me old mate there now? Wh-what are you doing Bill?"
"I...I'm getting some money for a drink." said Bill, looking at the snake with one eye and watching his step with the other.
"Where...the bank? You have no money there Bill."
"No...I's pawning me tool belt."
"Your tool belt? Bill, if you...if you don't have your belt...you can't work; if you can't work, you can't get money...then you can't pay for me drinks!" said the snake as they entered the pawn shop, which was run by a pawn. (...Hey, I know it's a tad obvious...but cut me some slack here!)
"It will be alright," said Bill placing his belt on the counter top, which was quickly snatched by the pawn who intern placed a coin on the counter, "after I fetch me money I earned from that job, I'll have enough to buy back me belt," he said while picking up the coin and walking to the door, with his friend slithering next to him, "after I have me drink, of course." Bill had just barely placed his hand on the door handle when he heard:
"Here's you new tool belt sir." said the pawn to a guinea pig, who had just bought Bill's old tool belt. The guinea pig then placed the belt on himself and scuttled out of the shop.
"Oh, well..." sighed Bill, "I still got me tools."
"Your tools were still on the belt, Bill."
"...Oh...well at least I still have that money to..."
"Uh...Bill," said the snake, "you drank that money up not only an hour ago. I was going to remind you that."
"...Oh...well, at least I've got," Bill opened his hand to see a bright, new sixpence in his hand, "this sixpence. Well, this ought to get me something to drink!" said Bill happily. The snake and the lizard made their way to the pub, who then entered the establishment, then walked/slithered their way up to the bar, then Bill slammed down his hand saying:
"Barkeep! I would like a drink!" The barkeeper looked over his shoulder, then shook his head and walked up to the lizard saying:
"Bill, I told you that you couldn't have another drink until you got some money."
"Oh, but...I do have money," said Bill placing the sixpence on the counter as if it were worth 1000 pounds, "get me whatever this little beauty will scrounge up." The stork stood there, looking at the sixpence, then looked at Bill with a questionable look, the stork then shook his head, taking the sixpence and placing it in the cash register. He then picked up a brandy bottle and then after digging into his pocket, pulled out a small thimble, he then filled the thimble with the drink and handed it to Bill. Bill then looked at the tiny drink, shrugged his shoulders, and sipped all the brandy out of the thimble.
"Alright, let's have another." said Bill, giving back the thimble to the barkeep.
"Bill..." said the barkeeper, but the snake interrupted.
"I'll take him home." The snake then wrapped his tail around Bill's arm and dragged the lizard out of the pub. Bill resisted the snake, squirming until the snake dragged him to the center of the square; letting him go. Bill then straitened his hat, then looked angrily at the snake.
"Why-why did you do that? I-I was...I was gettin' a drink."
"Bill," said the snake, "if I were you, I'd go...go do some...jobs so you can earn money. But when you do...don't drink it away. I've got to go home now, I...would do the same if I's was you." and the garden snake slithered away, not before however, running into several stone fixtures.
Bill stood there for a moment, not wanting to go home right then. He decided to walk around and think of his 'dry' situation. He stumbled around with his hands in his pockets for a half an hour, looking at the ground, rather than what was in front of him. He then saw it, a broken wine bottle in the middle of the street. A creature of some sorts had been by there not five seconds ago, pushing a pushcart full of goods, but their wine bottle fell out of the pushcart and broke. Bill then ran as best as he could over to the bottle, bending on his knees he looked into the broken bits and saw that there was one good gulp in one of the broken halves. He picked one up and drank the wine out of it, but cut his bottom lip in the process. He then started to lap up the wine on the ground with his tongue. He then sat down on the groung and placed his head in his hands after wiping his lip, and sat there, moping.
"I can't go on like this," said the gloomy lizard, "I need to do something."
Just then, a small breeze blew a piece of paper onto the lizards tail. Bill turned his eye back and spotted the paper, who then picked up the paper and read out loud:
"Are you tired of scraping around for drinking money?
Are you tired of begging others for a drink?
Are you in the gutters, down on your luck?
You don't have to fight alone. Come to Alcohol Among-us, and gain support for drinking."
"Oy, here's a solution!" said Bill, looking at the flyer, "they're bound to have a bit of brandy they would be willing to share!" Bill then stood up and soon found his way to the meeting place mentioned on the flyer.
