Author's Notes;;
I decided that, instead of giving you more Tainted Starlight, I wanted to write the first chapter of this today! SO please tell me what you think!
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or any of the characters. I'm just a fan and have no way to get you in contact with anyone, even if I wish I could. :)
Warning 1: This fic is rated M for Mature content. If you're below age, you should guide yourself away from this story.
Warning 2: This fic may contain spoilers.
Note 1 have read the Manga, seen the Anime and the movies and will be taking things from each and blending the things I liked best from each. This may wind up slightly A/U, so this is the only warning about that which I will give. Please do not get angry at me for not sticking to the Manga or w/e, this is my story. However, any constructive criticism, questions or just plain comments are always welcome. ^_^
Note 2: I really really like reviews. Why? It keeps me on the right track and keeps me motivated to write more. Your thoughts are always appreciated.
Note 3: This story is an alternate to my story, Twisted Midnight. It is not necessary to read that since this is the same story just written from Light's perspective! This fic takes place while the two are chained. So, in other words, this is set during the time in which Light has forfeited the Death Note and his memories.
**Mature Content Warning**
Chapter One:
It always took me a few days to settle into a new bed. Just as I'd been getting used to the old one after the first two days of my more personal confinement, we had moved to a more permanent location and now I was awake. I'd been grouchy the past two days and Ryuuzaki didn't like it, then again it was his fault, ruining what little sleep I had managed to get by bringing the laptop to bed and waking me up with the noise. And now, in the new building, I was waking up every house almost on the hour and it was getting extremely annoying. I looked to my left at the sleeping detective, the only time he was actually peaceful, and my breath caught at how…cute he looked.
I shook my head, trying to clear it of such thoughts. No…you don't go there again, I scolded myself. It really was an inappropriate thought process to be thinking of the man who held me captive as cute. I'd never felt attracted to anyone, not any of the girl's I'd dated or any of my friends, male or female, at school. Why now? Why this eccentric detective who seemed to think it was his sole purpose in life to make me feel smaller than an ant? To make the world think I was Kira when I wasn't? To make my life a living Hell by just being himself?
I remembered the first time I'd seen him, sitting in the classroom with his feet on the desk while taking the entrance examination for the University; and the instructor had scolded him…but he hadn't shifted his position. Those charcoal eyes had just met mine and all I had thought was, Who is this guy? I'd looked at him a few more times and, I could have sworn, he could feel me looking at me and met my gaze without fail. And I couldn't deny I was attracted to how wild he was. I was Light Yagami, perfectly tame outwardly, a genius and popular…I had it made, but I lacked the one thing that would truly make me, well, me. I lacked the guts to be different, and he had that aplenty.
He'd been at the commencement ceremony and we'd both given the speech. That meant he'd gotten a perfect score…just like me. He was cute, not in a conventional way, but he was. He had a way of sitting that was almost child-like but there was no mistaking that long, lean body beneath the simple façade. The way he had his thumb to his mouth while thinking, his toes constantly shifting and moving and the way he curled into the fetal position whenever possible… It was practically endearing and I found it more difficult a task to read the speech than to look at the mess of a human being next to me. He was utterly fascinating to me, like a species of bug I had never seen before and wanted very much to examine more closely.
And then the anger of when he'd told me his identity. I didn't really remember the reason for all my anger, but now that I had time to sit and think about it I rationalized that it must have been because, ever since I had been a young boy, I had looked up to L. I hadn't even been sure it was L, he was playing with me, and then the man had the audacity to accuse me of being Kira! As if! I was the son of the Chief of Police, I was not Kira.
"L-Light-kun," I heard and rolled my eyes. Wonderful, I thought, the princess is awake. Princess, indeed, he always got what he wanted when he wanted and no one ever seemed to fight or argue with him about any of it. I looked over at him, prepared to be exasperated, and then I realized he wasn't awake. Unless he was faking still being asleep, curled and facing me just as he had been a moment before, pale hands tucked almost out of sight beneath his head and the arms of his white shirt.
I watched as he shifted onto his back, face slightly flushed, and I wondered what he was dreaming about so deep in a REM cycle that I doubted even he was aware of the dream. I looked at the time; it was only two forty-five, not nearly time for the princess to wake up yet. I'd never been awake to witness Ryuuzaki dreaming, and never thought I would be considering the princess rarely slept. "L-Light…"
I stared, the lack of honorific drawing me in as one of his thumbs found its way to his mouth and then the chain moved as his other hand snaked under the comforter. No…way… I thought, lifting the comforter a bit before letting it drop once more upon seeing a very noticeable tenting in the light blue boxers that completed his ensemble day and night. He's…dreaming about…me? I found the thought exciting as his breath shortened, "L-Light…please…" He's dreaming about me on top… I felt my cock stiffen a bit at the imagery that thought provided and I groaned. I'd had similar dreams about the detective, not that I would ever admit that, and I turned to look at him once more as my hand wandered to my own crotch. "Aaahhh," he panted and damn it all, I was hard as a rock. "Y-yes…"
I took myself in my hand and debated touching him, instead, but no…that would be admitting I liked him. It would also more than likely wake him up. I very much liked him being asleep. Just because…he's dreaming of me…doesn't mean…he likes me I told myself even as my mind flashed me picture after picture of myself ramming into him, him screaming underneath me and me dominating him completely. It could just be that we're stuck together and therefore he's subconsciously dreaming of me because I'm close to him. Humans often dream…of people they don't necessarily like like. Again, I was trying to convince myself because I knew that was the most logical reason. He writhed on the bed, shaking it slightly and I quickened the pace of my hand and fell onto my side, facing away from him just in case he woke up. "LIGHT!" he screamed and I came into my boxers, knowing I was going to be annoyed in the morning with that fact but he seemed to have woken up from his dream. I pretended to be sleeping, not wanting him to know I'd overheard or that I had gotten off thinking about it. Nothing good could ever come of it, anyway. "Damnit," I heard him whisper. "Guess I can't dream about something I've never…"
Oh, god, he was talking to himself about his dream…what had he never done? What hadn't he experienced? What could I do to change that for him? No…what was I thinking? I decided to try my luck, pretending his mutterings had woken me. "Oy…what are you going on about, Ryuuzaki-kun?" I flipped over to face him, still wrapped tightly in the blankets so he wouldn't see my mess, and I noticed he was sitting in the fetal position but a bit awkwardly. His charcoal eyes met my brown ones and widened a bit, then he shrugged and put his legs down. He was still hard… "So…just go into the bathroom and-"
"That is not something I do, Light-kun," he said carefully and I blinked, stumped and at a loss for words. "It is pointless." I turned back over, slightly miffed considering it was exactly what I had just done, and decided I wanted to go to sleep. "Light-kun…why did you ask what was bothering me?"
"Because your mutterings woke me up," I lied easily, definitely not about to tell him what I'd really been thinking. "I'd like to go back to sleep."
"I see," he said simply and I felt the weight on the bed shift again as he laid down on it. "So, Light-kun was merely concerned about his sleep…and not about his supposed friend. Your percentage of being Kira is now six percent." I growled but ignored him, refusing to rise to his bait. He tended to raise and lower that apparently at his whim just to annoy me.
"If you say so, Ryuuzaki-kun," I merely replied before getting more comfortable and trying to ignore the mess in my boxers. "But as I've already said, I'm not Kira."
The next night I actually got to sleep through most of it without him annoying me…or dreaming about me, and I was slightly relieved by both, but the night after I woke up around three fifty in the morning and I groaned, pressing my face into the pillow. "Are you alright?" His voice was the last thing I wanted to hear alert when all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. No, I realized, that wasn't all I wanted to do. My bladder was what had woken me and it was making its pressure known.
"Ryuuzaki-kun," I said dully, refusing to remove my face from the pillow and therefore, childishly, refusing to let myself actually be awake. "It's almost four in the morning and I'm awake, but otherwise I'm fine." I was obviously trying to imply that me being awake at almost four in the morning was not a thing that was 'fine' with me. I pushed the pillow aside and glared at him sleepily and decided I might as well go and piss as I swung my legs over the side of the bed. My joints felt stiff from sleep and I stretched, and then started walking around the bed towards the bathroom. I felt myself jerk to a halt by my left wrist and I turned to him, "Oh come on! It is way too early in the morning for this!" I wanted to scream at him as he settled himself more comfortably on the bed and smiled at me. Damn. That. Irritable. Bastard. I had no idea what on Earth made me think he was cute, he certainly wasn't cute at that moment. "R-Ryuuzaki-kun." I tugged on the chain forcibly, trying to get him to move and failing as apparently pain wouldn't even budge him, and I vented my frustration by kicking the base of the footboard of the bed. Pain woke me up far more effectively than caffeine ever could have as I stubbed my toe against the oak frame and cursed, wincing and favoring the foot.
I felt the chain move once more and he got up slowly and lifted it so that it went over the bed posts and I hated that I thought he looked graceful as he landed deftly, almost cat-like, on the floor. No…he was not graceful, he was pesky and annoying, and he headed for the bathroom as if he were planning to the the whole time and I could only follow. After all, the princess commands…and everyone obeys. And Light Yagami was outwardly no different than anybody else.
I went in and relieved myself, looking at my toe which was bruised but otherwise fine, and I glared at him through the door despite him not being able to see it. When I came back out he…was fully clothed. That. Bastard. "No," I said, understanding and trying not to. "No!" I repeated, protesting and knowing I wasn't going to win. "Why are you all dressed?" I asked, already knowing his answer.
"Why do you think, Light-kun?" He looked at me with those unblinking orbs of grayish-black and he was cute. "It's morning! Therefore," he let one finger rise into the air, pointing up, and I wanted nothing more than to take that finger and lick…no, not that. I wanted to take that finger and tell him where to shove it…yes, that was it. Then he decided to continue his speech and I focused on his lips, "Therefore it's time for work! Kira won't catch himself, after all."
That. Bastard. I kept telling myself that as I picked out clothing, being deliberately slow so I could annoy him at least a fraction of how he'd been annoying me, and I debated playing my trump and telling him I knew what he dreamt about. But I didn't want to open that can of worms, I had a feeling it would bite me in the ass somehow. I let that be, an ace up my sleeve in case I ever needed it, and I hoped I never would. He took off my cuff long enough to let me change my shirt and then he hauled me towards the computers. My eyes drooped, I needed more sleep, but I knew he'd never let me. Finally I settled on hitting a weakness of his. His craving for all things sweet or caffeinated, and I told him I wanted coffee. At least it would help me stay awake. I told him a shower would be nice, too, but he put that off as 'second,' which I'd known he would, and claimed he wanted breakfast. I scoffed; breakfast to him was anyone else's form of dessert.
I watched him eat. I didn't not like all things sweet, like he seemed to think, he just always tended to offer me sweets at the most inappropriate times…like breakfast time as I sipped my black coffee and waited for it to kick in. We were back in our room at the computers and I was pretending to be very into my research when I was actually looking up facts about homo-sexual relations and anal sex so I could see just what he had been dreaming about. "They'll be here in forty-five minutes," I jumped, closing the text-based browser and clearing the search history. I stretched once more, purposefully flashing the skin of my stomach and hoping to get a reaction out of him, but he merely began walking, face passive and unreadable as always.
There was a lot of information on the internet for any who wanted to look, and I wondered if I was gay. I didn't like my girlfriend, I wasn't even sure why I was with her, and I didn't really like any of the girls I'd dated. I looked over at him as we made our way toward our shared bathroom and had to wonder at the real reason why I thought he was cute. He had a lollipop in his mouth and I found myself wondering at the things he could do with said mouth. After all, he did have quite the oral fixation. Oh, god…I was gay if I was thinking about him giving me oral sex. I'd had blow-jobs before, but the physical stimuli was all there had ever been. Not thoughts of the person with me. In fact, I wasn't one to indulge in self-touching either, unless it was the thoughtless 'take care of morning wood' type of self-touching that usually occurred. The other night had been the first time I'd ever had such vivid imagery of being with someone…and it had been with Ryuuzaki, of all people. Why? Why the Hell did I have to be attracted to him? Usually I was content with being unemotional. Well, maybe not content, but it was something I had gotten used to. I didn't know what it meant…and I wasn't completely sure I wanted to find out. No…the best thing to do was avoid the subject and hope he didn't have any more dreams about me.
Author's Note (again):
Alright, this story will probably wind up much shorter than Twisted Midnight because, technically, you've already read it…this is just a fresh take on it.
If you're bored so far let me know so I can stop wasting both our time. I'm not sure how this will be received since it's pretty much a 're-write.'
