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It surprised Reid that Morgan hadn't planned on being the pitcher. Morgan was an alpha male in the workplace. Morgan had been sexually abused as a child. He actually thought that Morgan might not ever want to experience any kind of penetration. And then he realized how short-sighted his thinking had been.
Morgan had been the man of the house and his family since he was a boy and he always took care of others. He was a leader on the field and in the workplace. He had been sexually abused. Morgan didn't need another person to bend to his whim. He didn't need to always been in charge at home. He needed someone to take care of him. He needed someone he could trust. He needed to re-assert control over his sexuality because that control had been taken from him. Morgan needed to be in charge but also not be in charge. Morgan needed to let go.
"Are you disappointed?" he asked, hanging his head in shame, reaching for his boxers.
"No!" Reid exclaimed, gently placing a hand on his forearm, not enough to stop him if he really wanted his clothes, just enough to reassure him. He paused for a moment trying to think of the right word. Not what I . . . planned on? Expected? Considered? Fantasized? "It's just not what I had anticipated."
Morgan nodded. "I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to apologize for."
"Still, I understand if you want to go."
Reid considered his fast-dwindling erection. "Do you want me to go?"
Morgan shrugged and looked away.
Reid gave him a considering look before sliding over to one side of the bed and climbing under the covers. "I don't want to go, so unless you want me to go, I'm staying." Switching off the bedside lamp, Morgan climbed under the covers as well but laid facing away from Reid. Mentally sighing, Reid slid across the bed and into a spooning position, pressing his chest to Morgan's back.
"You don't have to," he said in a small yet gruff voice, and shit if it didn't sound like Morgan might cry.
Reid sighed aloud this time. "Do you want me to leave?"
"I don't want you to stay because you feel obligated to."
"Well where in the world did you get that idea?"
"I know I wasn't what you expected. You're not the first guy who was surprised or disappointed. And I'm sure you feel obligated to stay because you're a nice guy and we've been friends for so long and we still have to work together and I'm telling you that it's okay, I understand that I'm a disappointment and I understand you wanting to leave."
Reid was beginning to think that after ten years he didn't know Morgan at all. "Look at me." Reluctantly, Morgan rolled over to face him. "First, you're my best friend and I could never and would never disrespect you that way. Second, I made a poorly founded assumption. Third, my poor assumption does not mean that reality is disappointing to me. How can I know that something I've never tried is or is not what I would want on a long-term basis from a relationship? I can't. There is no empirical data as to my sexual activity preferences. You take charge at work, and on the sports field, and on the dance floor, and if anyone looked at us as a couple they would assume based upon stereotypes that you would be giving and I would be receiving in the bedroom. I shouldn't have assumed what role you would take in the bedroom, but I did and I'm sorry. But that doesn't mean that you've disappointed me and that doesn't mean that I'm here out of obligation. I'm here because I care about you and I want to be with you and in my mind this is just an unfortunate bump in the road due to insufficient verbal communication that resulted from us thinking with our penises." Morgan looked torn between smiling and crying. Reid let out an exaggerated sigh. "May I kiss you now?" Morgan nodded and Reid placed one hand on the side of his face, leaning over him to gently press their lips together.
Eventually, the kisses grew more heated, more passionate, and it turned out that their miscommunication was just a bump on the road to sexual gratification. And Morgan played the catcher, and Reid pitched, and it turned out to be exactly what both men needed.
