Nate was tired of always getting in trouble. He didn't even have to do anything to get yelled at by his parents, or one of his brothers. It made Nate sick. There were times that Nate just wanted to end it all, and not have to deal with the world anymore…but he figured that wouldn't get anything solved.
After another fight with his mother; Nate went to his room. He didn't want to cry. Crying got you no where. Instead, he took a disposable razor and started cutting his wrist, dubbing each cut a reason.
"This one's for Jason. This one's for Mom." Nate said after each slit. He looked at the slit he gave himself for Mom. It bled the longest, and it was the deepest. He just let the blood run down his arm for a while, until he heard someone open the door. He hid is arm just in time for Jason to walk in.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jason asked.
"It's none of your business." Nate said.
"I didn't ask that. I asked what your problem is. Mom's downstairs crying. Talk to me, tell me what's wrong." Jason said.
"There you go again, with your frail attempts to be motherly." Nate hissed.
"It's not being motherly, its being brotherly." Jason said.
"Whatever. Get out." Nate said.
Jason closed Nate's door and left. Nate looked at his wrist again. He couldn't help but get pissed of royally at his family's stupidity. He was sixteen fucking years old. Every sixteen year old's plans involve staying home doing nothing. At least, that's what Nate's parents thought.
Suddenly, Nate's phone rang. It was Nate's best friend Caitlyn.
"Hey Cait." Nate answered.
"Hey Nate. Are you busy?" Caitlyn asked.
"No." Nate sighed.
"Wanna come over? My mom baked a cake." Caitlyn bribed.
"Well…I guess. I'll see you in about 10." Nate replied.
"Okay. Bye." Caitlyn said.
"Bye." Nate replied, hanging up.
Nate put on his red converses, and a red long sleeved shirt and walked down the stairs.
"I'm going to Caitlyn's!" Nate yelled, going out the door. He refused to wait for an approval, because he knew he wouldn't get one.
The walk to Caitlyn's house really helped. It gave Nate some time to vent to himself and think over the fight he had had with his parents. Nate knew deep down that is was a ridiculous argument, but he refused to let himself think that. Not now, at least.
As Nate walked up Caitlyn's driveway, Caitlyn walked outside.
"Hey Nate!" Caitlyn said.
"Hi Cait." Nate said.
"You sound down. Did you have another fight?" Cait asked. Somehow she always knew.
"Yeah…" replied Nate.
"With who?" Caitlyn asked. Not out of nosiness, but out of genuine care.
"My mom." Nate replied.
"Sit." Caitlyn said, taking a seat on the porch swing, and motioning Nate to do the same.
"Now," Caitlyn started, "do you want to talk about it?"
"Kinda. It was dumb, really." Nate said.
"I think a lot of stuff you do is dumb. Just talk." Caitlyn said.
"Well…My mom thinks that I shouldn't have a social life. She wants me to stay home and be with her. I have two more brothers! Why can't they stay home? So, I got mad, slewed together several cuss words and F bombs, and told her I hated her. Then I locked myself in my room, but Jason had to interrupt me and got all into his motherly shit that pisses me off, and…and...Now I don't know what." Nate said in one breath.
"Nate, what really spurred this off? I mean, you don't get mad about having to stay home, you just go out anyway." Caitlyn said. Damn. She's good.
Nate sighed, and stayed quiet a couple seconds.
"It's okay. You don't have to tell me." Caitlyn said, standing up.
"Cait?" Nate asked.
"Yeah?" Caitlyn replied, and sat back down.
Nate pulled up his shirt sleeve.
"I
can't take it anymore. They're always on my case about something.
I hate spending any time at home now. Especially since Shane's home
from whatever the hell he was doing at college. It's always, 'Oh
Shane can never do anything wrong. Nate, on the other hand, can't
do anything right.' It just isn't fair, Cait. I didn't even do
anything!" Nate broke down and started to cry.
"Nate…Nate,
listen to me." Caitlyn said, grabbing Nate into a hug.
"Yeah?" Nate asked.
"You know that isn't true. Your family loves you a lot. It's just that they don't get to see Shane as often anymore, so they're less inclined to yell at him. They're afraid if he gets mad, he may not come home. They don't love you any less. I promise. My sister was the same way." Caitlyn said.
"You know…that actually made me feel a bit better." Nate said.
"That's what I'm here for. Now, let's go eat cake." Caitlyn said.
"Is it chocolate?" Nate asked.
"You know it." Caitlyn replied.
"Okay, I'm game." Nate replied. The two stood up and went inside.
Happily chomping away at his cake, Nate's phone rang. It was his mom.
"Hello?" Nate answered.
"Nate…you need to come home." Nate's mom said. She sounded like she was crying. Still? Nate had been gone for like, three hours now.
"Why?" Nate asked.
"Nate…Shane was in an accident." Nate's mom replied.
Nate turned pale.
"Is he okay?" Nate almost whispered. Caitlyn looked up.
"Honey, please come home. Bring Caitlyn if you want, but this isn't a conversation I want to have with you over the phone." Nate's mom replied.
This was not good.
"Okay…I'll be there." Nate said, hanging up.
"Cait…I gotta go. Come with me. Shane was in an accident." Nate said, blinking hard.
"Oh, Nate…is he okay?" Caitlyn asked.
"I don't know…Mom wouldn't tell me over the phone. But she said you could come. Please come." Nate replied.
"I wouldn't dream of letting you go alone." Caitlyn said. She grabbed her coat, and Nate and Caitlyn walked to his house.
Nate's mother was sitting on the couch, with his dad comforting her.
"Hello Caitlyn. Nate, come here." Nate's mom said.
Nate went to his mother's side, and sat down.
"Is he okay?" Nate asked.
"Honey…no. The force of the crash killed him on impact." Nate's mom sobbed.
Nate looked at Caitlyn, searching her eyes for an answer.
"I'm so sorry." Caitlyn said.
"Thank you. He was hit by a drunk driver. He's still at the hospital. We're going to respect his wishes and have him cremated." Nate's father said, holding his wife when she let out another sob.
Nate stood up. How could this have possibly happened? It was Shane. Mr. Personality. Mr. Everybody-loved-him. This kind of stuff only happens on the nightly news, and in sick movies. Not in real life. It couldn't be true. Seriously. It couldn't be. For the second time today, Nate broke down in sobs. Nate's mom just wrapped him in a hug and rocked her baby back and forth.
"I
think I'm gonna go now." Caitlyn said.
"No. Stay." Nate
said, his eyes pleading.
"Okay." Caitlyn said.
"Mom? What now? What do we do now?" Nate asked. He had never had anyone really close to him die, except his grandfather.
"Well…the hospital will have him delivered to the funeral home, which, in turn, will have him delivered to the crematory. Then there will be services as usual…for my baby…" Nate's mom went off again, and she cried harder, and held Nate even tighter.
"Mom…I love you too…but I can't breathe." Nate said.
"Sorry, Nate. I just don't want to lose you too." Nate's mom said.
"Where's Jason? Does he know?" Nate asked.
"He knows. He went to the batting cages." Nate's dad replied.
Nate nodded and stood up.
"I'm going to my room." Nate said. Caitlyn followed.
Nate shut and locked his door, then jumped on his bed and cried. Caitlyn even shed a few tears, for she was close to all three boys.
"Nate? Is there anything I can do?" Caitlyn asked.
"Stay with me. Spend the night. I can't sleep here alone." Nate said. He looked across the room at Shane's bed. The bed that would never contain Shane's body again. Nate got up and went over to it, taking in a deep breath of Shane's scent.
"Caitlyn? Promise me something." Nate said.
"Anything, buddy." Caitlyn said.
"Promise me you'll never leave like Shane did. When you go, go gently and peacefully." Nate said.
"I promise." Caitlyn said. She laid down next to Nate. They held each other and cried for God knows how long.
Caitlyn always kept her promise to Nate. Nearly eighty years had gone since Shane passed, and Nate woke up one day with his wife in his arms. He looked at her, but something wasn't right.
"Caitlyn. Katie, baby, wake up." Nate said, shaking Caitlyn. No response.
"At least you kept your promise, baby." Nate said, kissing Caitlyn's cold lips once more.
