"It is better to do something absolutely ridiculous, then to be absolutely board."

The night was still young as a certain red-headed puppet sat at a work desk,tinkering with his toys. Sasori no Akasuna was never known to be a patient man, nor a patient puppet, and one thing that he could not stand, that he absolutely hated just as much being forced to wait, was boredom. He despised it. But who doesn't, really? Boredom can lead you to do things that you would not have ever expected yourself to even get the slightest thought about ever doing, and that is precisely what happened to our red-headed puppet friend on that night.

That night, it had been young as I had stated and the wind was howling across the barren desert outside the temporary hideout that the two partners had decided to take shelter in once they figured out a sand storm was brewing. Perhaps all these factors are what lead up to the event that neither will forget, and the biggest factor would have had to have been the boredom.

Sitting at his work desk, Sasori felt exactly that- boredom. Of course he loved to work on his puppets, but it can become like a song in the end. At first it may be very enjoyable to listen to, but after playing it many times in a row, you get annoyed by it, and for the past few weeks, every afternoon Sasori had been working on his puppets non-stop. He figured he deserved a break.

Sasori put down the small puppet he was holding and rested his head on top of his hand. What should he do now that he had granted his wish of free time? He lingered on this question for a while, before his thoughts started wondering towards other things. What else did he hate? Sasori had thought, besides boredom and waiting. A figure passed through his mind, a slim body made of flesh and a red fluid that flows through their veins. Humans. He didn't like them. Or perhaps, more than just humans would have to be a certain type of human- woman.

Yes, the red-headed puppet master quite despised those creatures. Always begging for mercy and screaming for their male counterpart to help them when they were in trouble.

He doubted that if he had to have stayed human that he would have gotten a girlfriend. There was only two women that he had ever liked in his life, his mother and his grandmother. He resents his grandmother now, but he still couldn't bring himself to hate his mother.

Sasori pulled a scroll out of his drawer, one that he had only wished to use when the time was right. Carefully, he pulled it open and read through its contents, making mental notes of all the handsigns and postures he would have to do. He couldn't believe he was stooping so low as to do this, but never-the-less, he made all the necessary handsigns and conjured up the courage to do the final one.

Blood flowed through his veins and his heart started pumping that blood, while organs he didn't have where doing what they were supposed to do- there job, that is. Feelings and emotions welled up inside of him, more than he had experienced in a while. Momentarily, he didn't know what to do so he just stood there, listening to the beating of his heart. He hadn't heard it beat in such a long time that the sound was quite foreign to him; in fact it even annoyed him a bit. He couldn't understand how humans could deal with it every second of their lives, this thumping sound in their ear. He was grateful his heart didn't usually beat.

Part 2 of his plan was formulating quickly and a smirk made its way onto his still quite porcelain features. The plan was epic; well that's what I think at least. It was witty and cunning and- well let's just get on with the story shall we? But Sasori did indeed like his plan.

Being that he was only about 15 when he turned himself into a puppet, Sasori had (to be frank) never been laid. Nor had he been since he was a puppet and he didn't have a... dick. Yeah I'm a little edgy about writing that word, oh well I'll get over it. But! Now that he was a human again, he did. And the rest of his plan was still yet to take place.

Gathering more of his courage, he weaved his last hand signs and there was a poof, it was done. He had done it. Step 2 out of 3 was complete. Sasori walked over to the cupboard and dug through it. Gripping a black cape he had put in there earlier, he wrapped it around himself and pulled the hood over his head. Once he was finished straightening it, he walked to and through the door to his brat's room.

Deidara had also been having a pretty boring afternoon. All his clay had been finished in the previous battle he had been in, but it was OK since he and Sasori were on their way back to the original hideout. Till the storm hit, then they went back a few miles and had to stay in this old hideout, just to wait until the storm passed. Considering he had nothing to blow up, that's what made him board. And his boredom had not made him do something as drastic as Sasori had done; he only started writing down nonsense words on a piece of paper.

Phrases such as "Art is an Explosion!" and "Deidara is the best artist EVER and Danna isn't!" are just two of sentences to be scribbled down on the paper, and soon Deidara got board of that to, so he resorted in doing other things to keep himself busy. Napping in particular. He lay down upon his temporary bed and felt his consciousness slowly slipping away when suddenly, the door flew open.

Standing there, in his black cape that was covering his whole body except for a little of his face, was none other than the said red-head mentioned earlier.

Sasori had the type of emotion where you couldn't see his face except his fringe and dark blue lines across, dark and secretive in other words. Deidara jumped up.

"Sasori! Knock next time un! And what are you doing here hmm!?" Deidara shouted, angry that his beauty sleep had been interrupted. Even if he didn't need it for the beauty, he already had that in his favor.

"Brat, I'm your Danna, I don't need permission from you to do anything. You take orders from me, not the other way around, understood?" Sasori said nonchalantly, while inside his emotion-filled body he was steaming with excitement. Something was a little different about his voice, but Dei just ignored that.

Confused, Deidara asked more calmly, "What are you doing here Danna? I was just falling asleep and you woke me yeah. Oh! And I don't have to call you Danna you know? It doesn't mean you own me un!"

"But I do own you Deidara, more then you understand. And after this night, I will own you even more if that's possible," Sasori took a step and another towards Dei until he was standing in front of him, who had seated himself on the bed, "You will do what I want, without complaining. This is my only chance in months so we can't mess this up."

"What the heck do you want me to do un? And- Wait! What the hell are you doing!?" Deidara exclaimed as Sasori moved his hands up, touching himself all over his body. Suddenly in a flash so fast that not even Dei could see, Sasori's cape was gone, and Deidara's jaw dropped to the floor. Literally.

Sasori stood there, but he wasn't Sasori. And he wasn't a 'he' either. Sasori had turned himself into a herself, a female, a girl, a woman. "Brat, take that look off your face, it's stupid. Just give me what I want and let's get this over with."

Deidara had a sneaking suspicion of what he, I mean she, wanted. But still couldn't be sure as he would look like an idiot if he asked if that's what she wanted and then he was wrong, so he didn't ask. Instead, he just nodded and played dumb. "What is it that you want Dan- I mean, m'lady?"

"Don't play dumb with me brat, you know what I want, and I know what you want by that lump forming in those pants of yours. Getting a bit tight in there, eh?"

Deidara blushed, he knew that he had been found out and he looked down. "Sasori, are you implying you want that?"

"Yes. And there is nothing you can do to stop me, understood brat?"

"Hai."

"Good"

And she kissed him.

Deidara realized he couldn't move, so then he realized that he had put him on her chakra strings. Damn it! Deidara didn't like that at all, but there wasn't much that he could do about it in the end, so he just let Sasori do her thing. Which was kissing him.

Sasori opened her mouth, a tongue full of saliva pressing against Deidara's lips, and when he refused to open his mouth, Sasori got frustrated. "Open damn it!" Was screamed at the blonde, and seconds later that same mentioned tongue was being forced down his throat.

In truth, Deidara didn't know what to think. Of course he was enjoying it, as any man would, but what if he got her pregnant and he turned back into a puppet? Deidara didn't want that. But the red-headed girl on top of him didn't seem to care. Instead, she just hooked her hands around his neck and her legs around his waist.

Deciding the mouth wasn't good enough, she discarded it, moving onto the neck. A soft moan was heard from the blonde as she sucked, bit, kissed and nibbled his soft neck. He wasn't used to this and it was killing him, the thing inside his pants that is. I think I'll just call it a Kunai from now on; it makes me feel better anyway!

So where was I? Oh yeah, Deidara's erection. Heh. Even Sasori was smirking because of it, she never doubted that she could get him to have one, but she had just never felt one before, so it was quite new to her. And something she enjoyed even more was her boredom of Deidara's neck. She wanted to move on and so she did, downwards.

Down and down until she was hovering over him, over his essence. Over his Kunai. She smirked and licked her lip, even though they didn't need licking. She started taking the pants off, very slowly that is, torturing him.

"You threatened me earlier Deidara, now's my chance to make you regret it." Deidara had no clue what she was talking about. He hadn't threatened her, had he? Seeing his confusion, Sasori smirked.

"Oh come now, don't tell me you forgot? You threatened not to call me Danna anymore. Bad move. I like being called Danna, so tonight, I'm going to make you scream it!" Deidara held back a moan as she suddenly took him all in, not moving and just looking at him to see his reaction. Truly, he had not been planning to keep that threat, so apparently Sasori had taken it seriously, and now Deidara was paying the price for it. (Which I don't think he minded that much in the overall scheme of things~)

He tried to move, tried to squirm, but of course he wasn't able to. It was Hell for him, watching Sasori leaning over him, Kunai in mouth, not moving but instead keeping purposely still. Agony, complete agony it was. It felt as if it were pounding, begging to be moved and Sasori enjoyed that. Maybe it was time to give in and do what the brat wanted? Nope. Sasori hadn't had enough of this to stop yet. So instead, she ran her tongue across his shaft. She repeated this until Deidara got an idea.

"Danna~~ Please~~ STOP IT!" Maybe if he said Danna she would listen.

"You want me to stop? Hmm, now I'm confused. I thought you wanted me to pleasure you? To move? Make up your mind, brat." Sasori said, lifting her head from his Kunai. Deidara moaned.

"I meant stop teasing me yeah." He said between gritted teeth. He needed her now.

"Oh, well you should have been more specific my brat." With that said, Sasori leaned down, taking him in her mouth once more and sucking, hard. Just like he liked it. Deidara was in love with this feeling and he let that be known by a long, thick moan slipping from his own mouth. He could feel drool slipping down his chin.

After a few minutes of sucking, Sasori stopped to get her breath back. Forgetting about the chakra stings. Fatal mistake, Deidara thought. In a second he had rolled them over and lay on top of her fragile body, pressing his lips onto hers and shoving his tongue down her throat this time, just for some revenge.

While he was doing that, his hands had other plans. They slid under her top and were glad to find no bra there. Sucking is what they did to her, just as she had previously done to him. Sasori moaned as her nipples hardened under Deidara's mouths tongues. It was amazing to her and she suddenly felt the need to say something to him.

"I take back everything I've ever thought about those hands of yours," She moved her arms around his neck and held him close. She's getting to comfortable, Deidara thought. He could not let that happen. He slid himself down after untangling her arms. Getting to his wanted spot, he stopped to pull off her pants and started kissing her inner thighs, getting closer and closer to her untouched essence. He pulled her legs apart as she started to close them out of discomfort, yet her hands were in his golden hair, tangling themselves in it.

Deidara pulled the panties off when he got there and stared. Never before had he seen one in real life, and it intrigued him. Wanted to see the effects of his actions, he leaned down and kissed it on the folds, then looked up at Sasori. She had her eyes closed and her head back, moaning softly, not to mention her hands in fists in his hair. He did it again, but this time with his tongue and Sasori moaned louder. He repeated this until he had enough courage to stick his tongue in, which he did.

Deidara pleasured her for a while longer, he could taste the start of an orgasm on his lips and he knew he was close. But it wasn't enough, he needed more. His Kunai needed more. So he reclaimed his place on top of his now feminine Danna and kissed her again. She kissed back with renewed strength and eagerness until her herself couldn't stand it, and growled at him, "Deidara do it!" She was getting impatient.

"It will hurt you, you know," he said, making his kunai linger even closer to her area.

"Yeah? Well look at all the fucks I give!" And she bit him, in utter rage and frustration. Deidara yelped and pressed into her as fast as he could, just to get her to remove her teeth from his mouth. Sasori screamed. Maybe she should have listened to the brat after all, that would have been better for her, but she didn't so now she has to pay for it.

Deidara felt liquid flowing along his leg and realized with a start that it was blood. He pulled out and his eyes widened, "Are you OK Danna!?" he shouted to Sasori, who just lay there, biting her lips and shutting her eyes.

"Stupid brat," She mumbled, "It won't get better if you take it out."

"But you're in pain! How could I pleasure myself when my Danna is in pain!?" Deidara screamed.

Sasori's hand loosened around the sheets and she growled, flipping them over so she was on top and the brat was underneath her. Lowering herself down, he was in her again. Deidara moaned and Sasori winced. He wouldn't move until she was ready and so he didn't, but instead waited for her to move. She did, only five minutes later, and slowly. It was killing him, but he had to do it, for her.

Eventually she started moving a bit more, riding him slowly and slowly too, starting to gain speed in her movements.

Until Deidara couldn't handle it. Even if she was going fast, as fast as she could, Dei knew he could go faster. So he flipped them over again, with much difficulty as to not letting him out of her, and started to go three times as fast as Sasori had previously been going. Sasori moaned loudly.

They were both enjoying it. From the very start they were enjoying it, actually. As well as the fact that they both knew that. So when the time came, that they were to come, they weren't surprised when they came together. Deidara's seed filling up Sasori as her own orgasm leaked down their legs, making a mess of the bed. But you know what? Yeah, they didn't give a fuck, except for the one that they were giving each other. But I do give a fuck, as someone will probably have to clean that mess up, and it's probably going to be me. But that is something you probably don't give a fuck about, do you?

Deidara looked into Sasori's eyes, that he would never look at in the same way again, and kissed her gently. She kissed back gently and pushed him off her. Then she had the nerve to turn around, with her back towards him, until Deidara realized what she wanted and granted that wish.

He wrapped his arms around his partner, spooning her, and kissed her neck as their legs unconsciously tangled themselves together. Slowly, for the second time that night, Deidara started losing consciousness and his eyes became heavy. The only difference was that this time, he wasn't falling asleep in boredom, but in love.

And through all the entire time of their rape/sex/lovemaking, neither of them realized that I was there, that the hideout wasn't empty, and that I had been watching the entire thing with a simple white butterfly. This is going to be some epic blackmail, and it will make an awesome story to tell the members when we're board again. That's actually why I didn't tell Sasori and Deidara why I was here; I wanted to see what they did. And it was worth it. Not even Pein will Believe It!

I giggled, Konan was back baby! And she won't let the males in this organization get the best of her!

~~~Extended Ending~~~

The morning was still early as Deidara woke; he had just had a crazy dream. Konan had been watching as Sasori, who had turned himself into a woman, and he had been having sex and planned to black mail them! He had to tell Sasori his dream, maybe one day Sasori would do it~~

Deidara got up and ran to Sasori's room, and his jaw dropped. Sasori lay on the floor, as there was no bed in the room, and was naked. Except it wasn't just Sasori, it was that Sasori, the one from his dreams yesterday.

Deidara gulped.

"It is not enough accept boredom, you must embrace. It is only when you have completely embraced it that you can go beyond it."