The Handsome Twin here, writing yet another parody! Again!
I'm so unexpected.
OooOooO
A 30-year-old Naruto was standing in front of Kyuubi's cage. He didn't know how he got here, but everyone was dead. That's the best explanation ever.
You see, the world was destroyed by Madara.
Totally didn't see that coming, did you?
So, now Naruto was sad, angry, sad, and... did I mention he was sad?
"Hey, Naruto! I have decided to send you back in time!" the demon fox cheerfully called out.
"You can do that? Why didn't you do it before? More importantly, why the hell would you do that for me?" Naruto asked.
"I can, because I was lazy, and because we're BFFs!" Kyuubi explained.
"That is the stupidest reason I've ever heard. Why didn't you do it to stop yourself from getting sealed into me?"
"Shut up and go back in time."
OooOooO
Naruto gasped as he woke up. For some reason, he felt shorter than usual. Also, for some reason, the Sandaime was sitting next to his bed.
"Old man, were you watching me sleep?" Naruto asked suspiciously.
"Um... no?" Sarutobi tried.
"Okay. Oh, I almost forgot. OLD MAN, YOU'RE ALIVE!" Naruto shouted as he tackled the Hokage.
"Why would you be surprised about that?" Sandaime asked.
"You see, in the future, you were killed by Orochimaru. I travelled back in time to save everyone," Naruto explained.
"Sorry, I didn't hear you. Did you say something?"
"I was just saying that the weather is great!" Nice save there, Naruto.
OooOooO
"Hey, guys!" Naruto waved at his teammates.
"Hn." Guess who said that.
"Naruto, you baka!" screeched Sakura.
"Why are you so angry?" Naruto asked.
"Hn."
"I don't know! IT'S THE AUTHOR'S FAULT!" She then proceeded to beat the living hell out of him.
"OW! What the hell are you doing?" Naruto screamed.
"Hn."
"I am extremely abusive and annoying, so the appropriate response to your question is killing you!" Sakura screeched.
"Hn."
"I don't remember you being like that!" Naruto exclaimed, surprised.
"Shut up, baka!"
"Hn."
"What does 'baka' mean? Why aren't you speaking English?" the blond asked.
"Shut up. Now, excuse me while I go torture some puppies for Sasuke's sake!" Sakura skipped away.
"Hn. Also, I'm psychotic."
OooOooO
Kakashi was staring at Naruto as the boy sparred with Sasuke. Well, 'sparred' wasn't the right word, it was more like 'tried to murder'.
He watched as Naruto used Rasengan and Chidori on the other boy.
'Should I stop them?'
The blond stabbed Sasuke with a dull spoon.
'I'm sure they are both just having fun.'
Kakashi smiled as a decapitated head rolled past his feet. 'Oh well, I guess I should just go read porn in front of little children!' he thought happily.
OooOooO
As Naruto entered the classroom with a sign saying 'I TRAVELLED BACK IN TIME' on his neck, Iruka looked at him confusedly.
'I can swear there is something wrong..'. he thought.
Naruto started crying and screaming about dead people.
'Maybe he cut his hair? Yeah, that's probably it.'
OooOooO
A few more instances of idiocy later, Naruto was walking down an alleyway. Suddenly, Madara jumped in front of him.
"Madara? What are you doing here?" Naruto asked.
"I travelled back in time as well!" the Uchiha started cackling.
"Okay..." Naruto slowly backed away from the madman.
OooOooO
"It's nice to see you, old man! I'm here for no apparent reason!" Naruto greeted the Hokage as he strolled into the office. Through the wall.
Totally inconspicuous.
"Hi there, Naruto! I mean, there is no chance that you could have interrupted a secret meeting or something like that, am I right?" the Hokage smiled.
"I'm glad that you see things my way!" They stood there in companionable silence for a minute.
"So, Naruto, how was your day?" Sarutobi inquired.
"Oh, nothing interesting. I brushed my teeth, washed my clothes, went back in time..." Naruto listed.
"I'm sorry, what was that last one?" Sarutobi asked.
"Washed my clothes?"
"I must be getting old..." Sandaime muttered.
"Well, not as old as me! I am 30 years old!" Naruto yelled.
"Come again?"
"I meant I am 12." Naruto corrected himself.
"Oh. Okay." Sarutobi smiled.
"I wasn't okay when all my friends were murdered. In the future. That I came back from."
"I keep hearing a strange buzz while you talk. Is it normal?" Sandaime asked.
"Um... yeah!"
"Great," the Hokage nodded.
"I AM A TIME TRAVELER!" Naruto screamed.
Sarutobi looked at the clock. "My, look at the time. It sure seems to fly by! I must get back to doing my paperwork now. See you later!"
OooOooO
For Naruto, the Chuunin Exams were a piece of cake.
During the first exam, he drew a detailed layout of ANBU Headquarters, and wrote 'I AM THE YONDAIME'S SON' on top. Ibiki just smiled patronisingly at him.
In the second, he killed Kabuto with a spork and took his scroll. Sakura just screeched at him for no reason.
In the preliminaries, he kicked Kiba's ass. Blindfolded. Kakashi patted his head.
All in all, nobody cared.
Makes you wonder how they became shinobi.
OooOooO
Tumbleweed rolled past in the background. Two people were standing in front of each other. One of them looked like a snake.
No, it wasn't Voldemort.
Orochimaru, for yes, it was him, stared at his opponent, a smirk on his face, his hand put near his gun. Just in case.
Meanwhile, the man in front of the snake summoner was glaring at him. "It was all your fault..." he muttered.
"What are you talking about? You just appeared out of nowhere and challenged me! I don't even know who you are!" Orochimaru yelled.
"There's no use lying, Orochimaru. I know it all."
"Listen, I will kill you now. I have no idea what I did to you, because it is the first time I have ever even seen you. Sorry," Orochimaru apologised. He really wasn't sorry, though. You know, he is pretty much a sociopath.
"My name is Naruto, and I will kill you because of reasons!" Naruto screamed.
"...Right."
OooOooO
Tell me what you think of this parody! And by that I mean, review, or I will throw legos at you.
It will feel horrible.
I know, I am very threatening.
Stop laughing.
