Porthos the Magnificent

by Starsinger

All right, this sounds like it belongs in another section, but, Admiral Archer and his poor puppy were mentioned by Scotty, how he got exiled to that planet where Kirk and Spock found him. At the end of the book the poor pooch transported onto the Enterprise. Well, the rest will now be history. No, don't own them.

Something cold and wet stuck itself in Scotty's ear, "No, no, darlin', not in me ear. Ye know I dinnae like it in me ear." It was quickly replaced by something equally wet but quite a bit warmer, and sloppier, "Marion, not now, I need me sleep."

"Ruff," came the reply.

"Marion, ye really need to hae that looked at, ye're soundin' like a dog," blearily Scotty's eyes. He giggled as the cold wet projectile stuck itself back into his face. "If I dinnae know better, I'd swear ye were a dog…" Scotty said blinking open bleary eyes. There, sitting on the side of the bed was a beagle with very peculiar ears.

"Ruff?" the dog seemed to ask.

"Ye're, ye're the Admiral's prized beagle!" Scotty exclaimed. "How did ye get here?" Porthos cocked his head, not knowing how to answer that. Scotty grabbed the dog and sprinted for Kirk's quarters.

Kirk was having a very pleasant dream involving himself and several Orion Slave girls. A persistent buzz intruded on his consciousness. "This had better be good," he muttered as he climbed out of both the dream and bed. He pulled on a robe and answered the door. There stood his chief engineer with a dog. He wasn't quite awake as he mumbled, "Nice dog."

"Captain! I found the Admiral's dog!" Kirk peered at the small animal who's tail had started wagging in an apparently friendly manner."

"So, why did you decide I needed to be awakened for this news?" The bright eyes the engineer presented made him sigh, "You want me to call him, don't you?" He turned back into his quarters, "Why couldn't you be prettier?" At least that's what Scotty thought Kirk muttered. "I just hope the good Admiral is awake."

The emblem for Starfleet Command appeared on the monitor as he requested a link to Admiral Archer. Fortunately, it was mid-afternoon in San Francisco as Johnathan Archer's lined face appeared to his newest Captain. "Hello, Captain. It looks like you were sleeping."

Kirk sighed as he looked up to his left. "We found something of yours, Admiral, or, he found us." He reached over and pulled the dog into view. The previously slow wag sped up to warp speed. The baying howl started up as the dog spotted his favorite human. In fact he was so excited, Kirk found his leg becoming very wet and warm, not to mention smelly. He was suddenly glad he wasn't wearing his uniform.

"Porthos? How?" the admiral's face lit up as his fell on his favorite pooch.

"We'll have him on the next shuttle back to Earth," Kirk replied, handing the Beagle back to the Engineer. "He's suddenly bad for my image."

Porthos made it home to an ecstatic master. The pajamas and robe were never seen again, and Scotty's near court-martial was wiped from his record.