Characters:

Alexis & Ned (as a couple) & their kids
Kristen Lila (Sexis never happened): 15 yrs old,
Matthew Lawrence: 12 yrs old

Skye and Jax (as a couple) and their kids:
Julie Emagen: 15 yrs old
Benjamin Christopher: 13 yrs old
Camilla Rose: 7 yrs old

Courtney & AJ (as a couple) and their kids
Michael, 16 (he'll come in later)
Aleczandra Kelly, 15
Eva Lillian, 14
Haleigh Jade, 10

Also, the usual Quartermaines, and a surprise guest!

Disclaimers: No, we don't own Alexis, Ned, Skye, Jax,
Courtney, AJ, or the rest of the Quartermaines
(unfortunately). We do own their kids; so don't steal
them unless you want to be cursed.

Authors Note: This story was co-written by
KallyKatKona and Nexis4Eva as a reminder of the
holiday season, and because of a conversation about us
two replacing head writers Guza and Pratt at GH. IT was a unanimous decision that Sonny and Alexis never happened. It was
a little inspired by the Thanksgiving episode of GH
this year. From that, we created a monster. Hope you
enjoy our distorted story. More will be posted in a
while.

*Jax and Skye's House*

"God, I hope we NEVER eat with the Quartermaines
again!" Julie proclaimed to her mother.

"I agree." Skye rolled her eyes. "Christmas we can go
to my mother's."

"How did we end up related to them crazy people?"
Julie huffed, and then smiled, remembering what had
happened....

~flash back~

Julie looked over at Kristen, and they both sighed.
Edward was ranting about the "heir to ELQ".

"Now, Julie, you pay attention. You might be CEO of
this company one day." He had said. Kristen laughed at
her, but she wasn't spared either.
"And Kristen, let's not forget you." Edward smiled at
the girl, and Julie had to cover her mouth to keep
from laughing. Without warning, Kristen scooped some
mashed potatoes onto her spoon and flung it at Julie,
who nearly screamed. Then, using her hands, she flung
stuffing back at her cousin.

~Present Day~

*Ned And Alexis' House*

* Kristen comes down stairs already to go out with her
friends when Alexis stops her

"Where do you think your going young lady, we still
have to discuss last night."
Alexis says in a stern tone

"What about it?" Kristen said, like nothing happened.

"The fact that you started a food fight with Julie."
Alexis said

"It's not like it hasn't happened before." Kristen
said nonchalantly.

"Yes well yesterday was Thanksgiving and it was the
first time I have been to that house and the food
actually made it to the table. I was looking forward
to having turkey this year. I had hope." Alexis said,
disappointed.

"That was your first mistake. Honey, you should know
better by now." Ned said entering the room and kissing
her hello.

"Ok look I'm sorry can I go now?" Kristen said.

"Sorry for what?" Alexis said.

"The food fight." Kristen relayed back.

"Food fight? When? Where? Yesterday? Matthew said,
excited. "Damn too bad I was sick. I want details!"

"OK." Kristen said. "Edward was in his heir to the
Quartermaine fortune mode when....


I got bored and threw some mashed potatoes at Julie.
She tried to throw stuffing at me but instead hit
grandfather smack dab in the middle of the forehead."

~flash back~


"Young lady! What in God's name do you think your
doing!" Edward said.

"Trying to throw it at me! But it missed ha!" Kristen
said, in full battle mode.

"I'll get you now!" Julie yelled, grabbing a turkey
leg and throwing it across the table. It missed and
hit the fireplace.

"Cool! Food fight!" Ben yelled, standing up and
flinging gravy at his sister's hair. Julie screamed
and called for Camilla, who clambered atop the table
and starting pitching whatever she could get her hands
on at Ben. Jax and Skye stared at each other, stood
up, and headed outside. AJ and Courtney followed.

"Kids, you have my permission to join in." AJ said on
the way. Alecz and Eva smiled and started chucking ice
cubes at their cousins. By now, Alan was laughing
uncontrollably, Monica looking disgusted, and Edward
yelling at everyone. Lila took at the sight and
smiled, reminiscing on her own food-fight days.

"I'll order the pizza." Ned said with a laugh and
Monica and Alexis sighed.

The food fight continued for a couple more minutes
until finally, Edward, fuming, stormed outside,
throwing opened the door as he went.

"Skye, AJ, you get your Satan spawn under control or
else. And this is the last time you are coming in my
house!"

"Whose house?" Monica shouted to him.
"I believe it's my house Edward." Monica yelled from
the dining room.

"Only because I gave it to you!" Alan stated,
controlling his laughs.

AJ and Jax headed back inside. Courtney and Skye
watched from the doorway as Jax picked up both of his
daughters, and AJ did the same to Eva and Alecz.

"Kristen Lila Ashton! Don't you even dare!" Alexis
warned, as Kristen reached for the glass of red wine
to throw at Julie.
Too late. The red wine was now soaking into Julie's
hair and clothes.

"You-are-dead!" Julie wriggled out of her father's
grip and headed for her glass of water. It was soon
covering Kristen.

"She's your daughter do something!" Alexis pleaded
with Ned as he came back into the room.

Obeying her father, Julie lowered the pitcher of ice
water. Then she picked it up and hurled it's contents
at Kristen.

"You are so dead that's cold!!!!" Kristen screamed at
Julie as she lunged for her. But Ned caught her just
in time. "Dad let me go I can take her." She said
simply.

"There is no doubt in my mind. After all, this is
Jax's daughter we are dealing with." Ned teased.

"Ned you're not helping!" Alexis said blocking the two
men from contributing.

"Ashton! You're going to get it!" Jax shouted. Just as
Jax was about to throw a bowl of an unidentifiable
something at Ned, Skye stepped in.

"Don't throw that." She warned. Jax smiled and turned
towards his wife. "You wouldn't dare." She challenged.
Flop! The casserole was all over Skye, just as Ned
threw the cranberry sauce at Jax.

"Ned! I can't believe you!" Alexis screeched.

"Aww, Honey, I'm sorry I meant to do this." As he
picked up a pie off the dessert cart and shoved it in
her face.

"Come On MOM. Get HIM!!!" Kristen yelled.

"You're going to pay for that Mr. Ashton!!" Alexis
yelled, as she went for another pie. But everyone in
the room went silent and all commotion stopped, when
guess who, walked in.

"Glad to know things never change around here!"
Tracey said with a laugh. Julie walked over to Alan
and handed him an apple pie.

"Hi Tracey, you're late. I'll help you catch up." He
said, chucking the pie towards her.

"All right Grandpa!" Julie whooped. The two exchanged
high-fives. Tracey elegantly (if it was possible)
wiped the pie off her face and walked towards Ned.

"Is this how your children behave in public? They have
such lovely manners."

"Tracey, just get your revenge on Grandpa and leave
Kristen out of it." Alecz handed Tracey a huge pot of
gravy.

"Go to hell, Tracey!" Alexis said. Ignoring Alexis,
Tracey advanced towards her brother. He stood
motionless as she poured the gravy all over him.

"At least she's not holding us at gunpoint!" AJ stated
with a laugh.

"Shut up Junior!" Ned shouted.

"Sis glad you could stop by now. I know how much you
love ice cream with your pie. Here try some. It's of
highest quality. And with that he put some in her coat pockets.

~Present Day~


"And that's about it, Matt. Everything kind of went
down from there." Kristen said.

"Ah damn I wish I was there."

"Matthew! Watch your mouth!" Alexis scolded.

"Can I go now?" Kristen said impatiently.

"Yeah sure go ahead." Ned said. "Ignore your mother.
She's just mad at me."
Kristen practically bolted out the door before Alexis
can say anything, and Matthew ran up stairs.

"That's right Mr. Ashton. You're the one who is being
punished if you know what I mean. And I think you do."
And with that Alexis went upstairs.

*JAx and Skye's House*

"Jeez, that was a crazy day!" Julie sighed.

"It sure was!" Skye agreed. There was a moment's
silence.

"Yeah, we should go back for Christmas." Julie nodded.

"You read my mind, child." Skye told her. Julie
smiled.

"Hey, you want to see me get revenge on your daddy?"
Skye asked. Julie nodded furiously, and Skye motioned
for her to follow. They went into the kitchen, filled
up the biggest pan they could find with cold water,
and headed upstairs to where Jax was still asleep.

"What is that for?" Ben asked, coming out of his room.

"Shush! You're dad is thirsty. I'm helping him out."
Skye explained. Ben followed his mother and sister
into the bedroom. Skye stood overtop of Jax and poured
the water over him. He gasped, sat up, and sputtered.

"What the hell?" He shouted.

"Revenge, Mister Jacks." Skye shrugged and walked back
downstairs, leaving her husband dumbfounded and her
kids praising her.

* * *

~ Happy Holidays ~

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