Cardiff 2008 – Jack is sat at his desk going over some rubbish the prime minister had sent through to him that afternoon. Suddenly, that familiar sound; the most beautiful sound ever heard – the TARDIS.
Jack runs to the main area within the hub, and there she is; stood all pretty and proud, in one fell swoop jack dives to the door, as he gets there it opens and a blue trousered leg emerges followed by the Doctor.
"Jack! Hello! Well this is a surprise, I was aiming for Cirencester but this'll do"
"Doctor, how's it goin'?"
The old friends embrace and grin like ridiculous school children.
"So come on then what have I missed?"
Jack gaze glazes over as he recalls how his brother held John hostage with an explosive device, blew up half of Cardiff, had Jack buried alive and killed Tosh and Owen. . Well sort of Owen as he was a walking dead man.
The doctor's eyes soften as he puts a gentle hand on Jack's shoulder
"I'm so sorry, I really am"
"Thanks, but its past we still have a planet to save! Besides we have the CUTEST staff we've had for a long time, obviously there's Ianto and Gwen but we also have our resident alien, apart from me"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, wanna meet her?"
"Yeah.. Why not!" the Doctor suddenly has a sceptical look in his eye as if what Jack is about to show him is not going to impress.
"LOR!! Get down here, there's someone I want you to meet!" Jack bellowed toward the sleeping quarters
"Ow! Coming!"
The Doctor looks around for a minute fiddling with various alien objects when he drops a frununsulation unit on the floor, he picks it up and as he looks up he sees a pair of baggy black boots, a bit further up a pair of tanned lithe legs poking out of a pair of dirty grey shorts, a bare midriff and half of a white tank top, his eyes stop at a very attractive and very familiar face.
"LORIA!!"
"Doctor?!"
"AHHHH!!"
The pair embraces; the Doctor picks Loria up and swings her in a circle, whilst a bewildered jack looks on.
"Er, you two know each other?"
"Know each other? I was at his 518th birthday bash!" Loria gasps.
"What??"
"Yeah she wasn't invited though, she gate crashed"
"You loved it, old man!"
"Oi! Less of the old, your older than I am!"
Jack stares bewildered at the other two, "Well it is a small universe, coffee? IANTO!"
The Welshman appears from apparently nowhere,
"Yes Sir?"
"Can you work your amazing coffee magic for the doctor and his apparent old companion?"
"Of course, milk and two sugars Loria?"
"Yes please gorgeous" the last word made Ianto blush profusely as he scuttled away.
"Oh, and I was never his companion, sod that, he's always getting himself into danger" Loria started to bounce on the balls of her feet as she spoke staring at the doctor.
"No, space piracy is far less hassle, minus the galaxy morons, er police"
The Doctor turns to Jack "A space pirate and an ex con artist, well, well, well Torchwood will hire just about anyone won't they??"
"Hey exactly EX con artist, I'm an honest man now"
"Whatever danger mouse!" The last comment drew a confused look from the doctor.
"Don't ask, really, don't"
Jack and Loria lead the doctor to Jack's office where the three talk well into the early hours, until the Doctor pops a delicate question.
"SO Jack do you reckon I could
steal Loria for ooh three minutes?"
"Is that three minutes my
time or three minutes your time?"
"Er the first one" the Doctor says sheepishly
Jacks looks at his mug and says "Ok just bring her back alive; she doesn't have to have all her limbs but alive is a must" he grins as he tales a sip of his coffee.
"Um do I get a say in this?"
"Oh do you not want to, you just seemed quite keen on the idea just now that was all"
"What happened to that Donna girl? asks jack.
"She went home to spend some time with her mum that's all"
Loria stares at the floor, then narrows her eyes to look at the doctor, and pokes him in the chest.
"Oh alright BUT, I want a contract to saying 'there will be no bog monsters or herpiefied jigglyhoppers' though!" laughed the girl.
"There'll be a get out clause somewhere but ok"
Loria took in a deep breath through her nose, rolled her eyes and said "Ok I'm in"
The next morning Loria is packing her suitcase with her essentials:
Underwear
Shoes
Shorts
Skirts
Jumpers
Jeans
Coat – just in case he decides to take me to an ice covered meteorite in the Felos system (highly likely)
T shirts
Hand gun
Laser pistol
Thrunungulator – weird teleport device which explodes where you were stood to defeat any enemies you happen to be teleporting from.
Fortified knuckle duster – fortified Wrenglar steel (indestructible and will break the jaw of just about anything)
Venetian wound ointment
"Methinks I am ready sir"
"Why are you bringing weapons?"
"Im going on a 'holiday' with YOU, there is no way in this universe I'm not taking precautions"
"Harsh"
"But true"
"I don't like guns, they're awful things, and they are the main source of evil in the universe"
"No Daleks and Slovine are thank you very much, well in my opinion"
"Why slovine?"
"Have you SMELT one lately?!"
"Yeah actually"
"Really? No I don't want to know"
The doctor grinned at his old friend and beckoned her to the TARDIS; Loria hugged her colleagues' goodbye, and boarded the big blue box.
"WOAH! You redecorated then"
"Yep! Well, about 300 hundred years ago, I thought you'd been on board since then?"
"Maybe, I was probably steaming drunk though"
"Um yeah I think I was giving you lift to your ship, how is old Jelly anyway"
"Broken, very, very broken. I had a run in with a bounty hunter with heavy fire power I was badly damaged and was in the neighbourhood, well Jupiter, and I knew this place was safe, Torchwood found me half dead in the bay, with a LOT of eyewitnesses, Jack says that's the most ret con he's ever given out in a single week"
"You crashed? But you've landed torn up ships in ridiculous circumstances!"
"Not with half my face covered in blood and a broken collarbone"
"Oh Loria, I'm so sorry"
"Why? I look after you remember not the other way around!"
"You're not my mum, god forbid"
"Yeah I'm not that boring to go and get all . . . fat and stuff, plus with you time lords and your 3 year pregnancies, FUCK THAT"
"Language!"
"Im warning you I'll call you your real name in a minute if you're not careful!"
"Don't"
"You're still in mourning over the war aren't you?"
"Every day, anyway how old are you know?"
"Er, hang on, one, three, oh um... three thousand and twelve I think, I gave up counting ages ago!"
The pair grinned at each other, and then the doctor showed Loria where she can sleep when she needs to, after all Ploretians need sleep too, albeit not very often.
"So where to Madame?" the doctor says in a very overly posh accent.
"Er not where they talk like that please!"
"Alright, ummmmmmmmmm..." the doctor scratches his chin and spins a dial "how about... Therilia? Oooh it's pretty there"
"Ok what's wrong with it?"
"Nothing! Why?"
"You only ever go to places that've sent a plea for help or a mysterious signal or some rubbish like that"
"Honestly you don't trust me at all do you?"
"Nope"
"Thanks" the doctor mock smiled and shot her the 'v'
Loria giggles and sidled up to the doctor, "Ok Mr. oncoming light breeze and rain, take me to threshers or whatever it's called"
"Threshers is an off licence"
"Ooh can we go there first they sell these cute little Baileys miniatures!"
"No and you drink too much anyway; it might do you some good to stop for a while"
"Oh for fuck sake, can I at least smoke in this box?"
"Yes, but open the door first"
"Thank you Captain bloody Pugwash of the 31st century"
"I wish you wouldn't call me that"
"But it's a cute name!!"
"It's silly"
Loria shrugged "Suits you perfectly then!"
The doctor shot Loria a dirty look and fired up the engines of the TARDIS and soon they were heading for Therilia, "Its a few galaxies away so it's going to take an hour or so to get there, so you can show me what you've been doing this past hundred and thirty years"
"Ok, sit down then my handsome, see anything of interest just ask and I'll tell"
The doctor sits on the floor and Loria sits on his lap, and rests her head in his hands, as he trails through her memory he sees treasures from different times and planets, battles between her and various foes, and a constantly re appearing man, he's faceless but he's always there, all the time...
"Who's the man?"
"What
man?"
"The man in the background of all your memories, I can't make out his face, he's always doing something though, running or talking to no one, or just standing still, who is it?"
"Oh him, he's you"
"What?!"
The doctor breaks contact between them and looks Loria in the eyes, "Why am I there I was never there then!"
"You remember that night in Bognor
Regis and we'd fought off those Roman mutant thingies?"
The
doctor grinned "Oh yeah! And then we drank hot chocolate!"
"Hell yeah! Anyway, you had that big guy nearly maul you with his big thumpy cutty thing?"
"Axe?"
"That's the one, well I told you I'd always have an eye on you and I'd protect you wherever you were in time and space yes?"
"Yes"
"Well so I do, I always know what you've been up to young man!"
"I always wondered why you never asked me what I'd been up to, so how do you do it?"
"Ploretians have a thing called an Outer Sensory Trajectory, it can only be used once, for one being in our entire existence, even when that being has passed away, and I gave you mine, and you don't exactly make it easy you know, I mean Cybermen! They are not the easiest things keep under control know what I mean!!"
"How do you mean control?"
"Er
opening the gap in the rift, what you think you came up with that all
on your own do you??"
"Well yes" the doctor looked hurt now.
"Well no, you're my best friend and always will be there was no way I was losing you those one track minded weirdoes"
"I lost someone though didn't I?"
I know, and I'm sorry, Rose was so brave, she gave no thought to her own safety, but she never did, as long as she could do the greater good, I can see why you love her"
"Loved"
"Whatever! You didn't change your suit cause you got bored mate; it reminded you of her, that's why"
"I don't like this you're in my head thing"
"Im not in yours, you're in mine, get it right brain box"
"So you took it upon yourself to protect me"
"You save everyone, but who saves the Doctor now Gallifrey is gone? Martha Jones? Donna Noble? Er no"
"No you do, you always have" the doctor looked in to Loria's eyes and smiled warmly "So how does this trajectory work then?"
"It's a bit like a second conscience , a little voice with the right answer, I only need to do it 0.9 percent of the time, you pretty much figure it out on your own, but sometimes you're too dumb to turn and run when you should, I'm the voice that says RUN"
"So who protects you Loria?" the doctor looked concerned now.
Loria waved the comment away. "I don't need protecting I've survived this long aint I?
"Well I think while your with me I'll do the protecting, deal?"
"Hmmm, no! Ha ha ok deal, just this once, but if you fuck up I'LL kill you!"
The pair laugh and joke about their past for the whole two hours and six minutes it takes the TARDIS to reach Therilia, when they arrive both the doctor and Loria feel odd, warm and fuzzy odd; but odd all the same.
"I like it here already" Loria giggled
"Me too!" the doctor was already grinning like a Cheshire cat before she said anything, while looked at her he noticed how her eyes glittered when she laughed and the way her chest heaved when she breathed in ... the doctor shook his head and strode towards the door
"Come on holiday time!!"
"Yay!" 'he has quite a nice bum in that suit' Loria thought to herself "Hang on, why am I suddenly finding you attractive? You're a funny looking bugger yet I was just staring at your arse"
"Really? Thanks!" The doctor lifted up the back of his coat and strained round to get a better look at said arse.
"No!" she sighed "Im concerned and you're revelling in flattery"
"Oh come on I'm sure you're fine, hey cheeky I do have a nice bum, well I think I do"
"Oh god he checks himself out"
The doctor opened the door to the TARDIS and straight away Loria agreed that it really was a beautiful planet, everything seemed to glisten with life, the trees, plants and flowers all seemed jewel like, water in streams sung gentle tunes, the air tasted sweet and buildings gleamed like they'd just been polished,
And the people, well they were all very attractive!
"I'm immigrating to here I'm telling you!"
"Really?"
"Yeah everyone's hot! And well humans all look so depressed in the winter, and they go all pale it's weird"
"Yeah well just because Ploretia has two suns gives you no excuse to be racist young lady"
"I wasn't I was only pointing out that they go a bit translucent when there isn't much sunlight"
The pair walked into town hand in hand, not something they normally did but they didn't really seem to notice, mainly because everyone seemed to be holding hands, no everyone WAS walking hand in hand, children, men women, everyone, all gooey eyed and grinning, it was weird, but the two holiday makers were oblivious; pointing at the foreign buildings and modes of transport, for instance a sort of bicycle; but instead of wheels it had little pogo sticks and it bounced down the street with a little old couple on it.
"Check it out! I want one, let's steal it off them!"
"Let's not eh? Come on there must be something going on to have a gander at"
The pair walked through the city until they saw something that shocked them both, a theatre showing Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. "What? Shakespeare WAS human right?"
"Yeah, but saying that good work gets noticed, plus this place IS very lovey dovey, it's weird"
"You think having one heart is weird"
The pair grinned at one another before going inside, it was all very well that they were watching the play, but it was really awful, Juliet must have weighed about 200 pounds, so it made it impossible for Romeo, who looked about 13; to carry her in the church scene, the doctor and Loria giggled through the whole thing, which earned them disapproving looks from the rest of the audience; which turned out to be mainly made up of Romeo's family and friends.
"That was the WORST rendition of Romeo and Juliet I have EVER seen, and I've seen it in ooh 37 different solar systems!"
"Oh we are well travelled aren't Sir Doctor of TARDIS!"
"You know about me being knighted?"
"Yeah by Queen Vicky, right before she exiled you mate, don't forget that part"
"Like I could forget, come on let's find somewhere to stay"
"What's wrong with the TARDIS?"
"I'm always in there; it'll be nice to give her some time alone"
"Oh you're so thoughtful"
"I try"
"You missed the sarcasm completely"
"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit"
"Unless I do it"
On that note the doctor looked at Loria with affection and said "In which case it's perfect"
"Alright mate calm down, and don't look at me like that you make me go gooey – eeeeuch!"
"Oh thanks!"
"Love you really, come on I'm picking the lodgings this time, you picked them on Grishia"
"That was 210 hundred years ago!"
"Precisely, it's my turn!"
"FINE!"
"Don't be childish, you're far too old"
"You're mean to me"
About an hour later and after much bickering and moaning they agreed on an ultra space age hotel called The Elexsis, it was 400 hundred storeys high and over a mile and half in ground coverage.
They stayed on the 99th floor, in a gigantic double room, the beds were circular and you could fit about 12 people in each, a Jacuzzi that resembled a swimming pool, a huge mini bar (which Loria instantly flung herself at) and big golden drapes framed circular windows, the walls were cream with a gold filigree inlay, in a language neither of them could recognise.
"This place is amazing!" shouted Loria through a pint of shimmering blue liquid.
"Yeah, um, you sure you're going to remember this?" the doctor was eyeing her with her drink with suspicion.
"I'm only having one!"
"Yeah you always say that"
"Come on, try some"
"No"
" I don't understand this 'no' word you speak of, what does it mean?"
The doctor laughed and drank some of the blue stuff, he instantly felt tingly all the way down to his stomach, he never was a big drinker; when he looked up from the glass he noticed Loria was now sat on the bar, her legs uncrossed, if he leaned back a bit he could. Just. See. Up.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing!"
"You were trying to look up my
skirt!"
"No I wasn't!"
"You so were!"
The doctor was blushing profusely and Loria found this awfully amusing, she released a low guttural laugh and took the glass from the doctor's hand and set it on the bar, she dipped her index finger into the glass and sucked it while never taking her eyes of him.
"Loria?"
"Mmhmm?"
"What's the
matter?"
"Nothing, why?"
"You're um, acting um, a bit weird"
"Im not trying to get a good look at your underwear, but saying that, that isn't really odd behaviour from you, not that you'd ever let your beloved companions ever find that out"
"Enough" as he made to turn away she grabbed his hand and pulled him close to her.
"When was the last time you were this close to someone?" she asked as she slipped her fingers between his, and wrapped a leg around his.
"Not for a long time"
"I guessed that" her voice was low now; husky and dark, almost a whisper, she brought her mouth to his ear.
"What's different about me then, you feel you can behave like that with me but not them?"
"Because you know me better than anyone, when you look at me you see everything, you don't just see 'the doctor' you see the man behind him"
"And Rose?"
"Rose is precious to me, but I was still the doctor to her, she still needed me to save the world, you can save the world on your own"
"Oh yes, and there's something
you're not telling me"
"Well you can see what I see, feel
what I feel, what do you think I'm not telling you?" he had
dropped his voice now, and his head, their faces were inches apart,
lips almost touching.
"It's not something to tell exactly, it's more of a thought, a feeling"
"Yes?" he closed his eyes and smiled that she had figured it out, she was so clever, almost as good as him, she was SO good.
Loria opened her eyes and raised her voice again.
"You're thinking that there is something dodgy going on on this planet because we've never acted like this and everyone seems to be awfully nice, too nice"
The pair broke away and grinned, knowing she was right.
"Precisely, and as much as I want to kiss you right now I know it's not necessarily the way I feel, but rather how something or someone wants me to feel"
"Aw, I love how you slipped in a 'necessarily' just in case!" she laughed at his thoughtfulness.
"You up for an adventure then love?" Loria raised an eyebrow
"Yeah, just let me have a cold shower first"
