Konnichiwa *bow*.Hehe, no one asked for this, but I couldn't help it… a
sequel to The Answer Machine. I was so impressed with myself at my first
attempt at comedy, that I HAD to try another!! Hey, I might start writing
comedy fics, not just angst, though I love angst… well, here goes…
~*~
DISCLAIMER: hmm… what am I supposed to say? Oh yeah!! Hehe, oops… well, I don't own CCS, much to my dismay… I own the answer machine!! Whee!!! (No, I am not high and I do not have ADD.!!!)
~*~
" SPEECH"
' THOUGHTS'
FLASHBACKS
***** CHANGE OF SCENE or TIME PASSING
( ME, MY MOUTH, AND MY COMMENTS)
~*~
Prank Calls Ahoy!!!
" Hey!! The phone line's back on!!" announced Eriol, his voice filled with excitement as it rang through the large condo. " They said it would take three days but it was three weeks instead! My English professor tried to call me to tell me they had made an error in the classroom number they'd given me and I walked into a sewing class on Tuesday!"
" Whatever… Coolio!! We've got celebrate!" yelled Tomoyo, picking up the phone and dialing a random number. Eriol could hear ringing in the background, then a voice picking up. Tomoyo began to fake hyperventilate (in more understandable terms, she pretended to hyperventilate) and whispered into the small, white appliance,
" Help!! Please!! They're going to get me!! PLEASE!!! NOOOO!!!!!!"
Suddenly she broke into a fit of screams, then slammed the phone back into the receiver, and began to giggle incessantly. The sound of applause was heard from the hallway.
" Oh, Wonderful!!! Bravo, bravo, I am SOOO inspired!!!" exclaimed the clear crystalline voice of Kinomoto Sakura. She rushed to the phone, and followed Tomoyo's example. Once again, ringing was heard, and a deep masculine voice was heard from the other end of the line. After hesitating a moment, Sakura began,
" Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with us and you will see, this our town of Halloween. This is Halloween! This is Halloween! Pumpkins scream in the dead of night, this is Halloween, everybody make a scene, trick or treat till the neighbor's gonna die of fright. It's our town, everybody scream, in this town of Hal—HEY!!" Sakura pouted as the line went dead…
" That's a great little song, but it makes a lame prank call." Said a voice, which had apparently heard everything.
They all turned to face Syaoran, whom had come in without anyone noticing. He dropped his book bag and made his way to the area where the phone was kept on a small, glass table. The kitchen was to the left, next to the door, and beyond the kitchen, there was a hall leading to the right, with two rooms, and one bathroom. To the left of the doorway, was the living room, and past it was another hall, also leading to two rooms and one bathroom. He put the phone back down for three seconds, then put it back to his ear. Once again, a number was dialed, and ringing was heard. He put the phone down and pressed the speakerphone button, right when a feminine voice picked up.
"Tokyo Crisis Center for Teens, how may I help you?"
Eyeing an empty glass, which apparently had once held milk, Syaoran began to speak in a frantic voice.
" It's gone, it's all gone!! I can't live anymore!! No, no, no!!! I'm gonna kill myself!! I won't stand to live in a world without milk!!!!"
He began to sob, then looked at Eriol. Suddenly, understanding what he needed, Eriol made an energy ball and then destroyed it, making a loud noise, a very convincing gunshot. Syaoran hit the speakerphone button, so that the line went dead. They all burst into wild laughter, except for Tomoyo.
" Li-Kun… You made a huge mess, you too Eriol-kun." She said in a stern voice. It was no secret that Tomoyo was not one for messes.
" Oh, come on, we'll pick it up later." Said Syaoran.
" Lets see…" Said Eriol. He stepped up to the phone, concentrating pensively and finally, picked it up. He dialed a number, and once ringing was heard, pressed the speakerphone button.
" Hello, Tokyo library, how may I help you?"
" Oh, yes, I'd like to know if you have," he looked over his shoulder and saw one of the Harry Potter novels sitting on the kitchen counter. He smirked and continued, " One Thousand Magical Herbs and Where To Find Them, and Two Thousand reasons Why Not To Apparate Into Azkaban, available?"
"Excuse me?"
" One Thousand Magical Herbs and Where To Find them, and Two Thousand Reasons Why Not To Apparate Into Azkaban."
" I'm sorry, who wrote these? I don't seem to be familiar with the titles." Said the woman.
" Unfamiliar with the titles?!?!?!?! Merlin's teeth, woman, and you call yourself a librarian? Any true witch would recognize those two at the moment they left the speaker lips!!!!!"
" Excuse me, did you just call me a witch?!?!"
" Yes, but I take it back. You might as well be a Muggle for all your worth!!" The woman at the other end of the line gasped, insulted, and hung up.
" Ok…" said Syaoran, obviously not having understood what had just been said, but as he looked around, he saw Tomoyo and Sakura giggling their heads off. He shook his head. " That was weird."
***** Half an Hour Later…
" Ma'am, would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?"
" Why, yes dear! What kind are you selling?"
" Erm… oatmeal… em… chocolate chip… and peanut butter!!"
" And do you have any thin mints?"
" uhh… sure, why not!" "
" Oh, wonderful! Can I order 3 boxes of each?"
" Of course you can, Ma'am!! That'll be 36 dollars. Just send the check to 15460 Central St. and address it to Explore the Outdoors Girls Scouts! What is your address so we know where to send them…"
" 12213 Humble Ave. It's the little house on the corner with the little elves on the lawn… you'll probably see my little Whiskers on the porch, too. He just loves to lie there, day and night. Odd little one he is! Maybe you could come in to look at some of the pictures I have of him! Oh, he was just so adorable when he was younger!! Then you'll have to see my little Oreo, and Brownie, and Yarn ball, and Bootsie and Tootsie, and Kiki and Kiwi, and Leon, and Larry, oh, and Harry, and Whiskers the second and—"
The poor woman was cut sort as Sakura hit the speaker button to hang up, annoyed. " Waa…"
" Haha, I feel sorry for all those cats…" said Eriol
" Yea, well, just for that, she ain't getting her Girl Scout cookies."
*Ring, Ring*
" Hello?" said Sakura as she hit the speaker button.
" Oh, dear, I think the call may have been disconnected. It's times like this I'm thankful that I have *69." Chuckled the old woman. Sakura stared down at the phone, terrified.
" Noooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
***** Ten minutes later
" Tokyo Crisis Center For Teens, how may I help you?"
" It's gone, it's all gone!! No, no, no!!! I'm gonna kill myself!! I won't stand to live in a world without milk!!!" yelled Sakura. Syaoran glared at her, realizing she was copying his call, but something was different. Instead of having Eriol create an energy ball, she picked up the glass, which had once inspired him, not realizing that it now contained milk. She'd been to busy listening to the old lady talk about her cats to see Eriol refill it. She raised it into the air and threw it, hanging up and it crashed into a wall, milk splattering everywhere.
" Oh NO!!!! Sakura!!" Tomoyo whined, her best friend not seeming so kawaii at the moment. " Is this ' Get on Tomoyo's nerves' day or something? Because if it is, then you two are doing an excellent job!! Oh, please, let me try! How about I declare it embarrass Sakura Day!! Hey, Li-kun!! Guess who has the major hots for you? Sakura!"
" Well of course she does. We've only been sleeping together for the past two months!! Don't tell me you didn't know!!" Said Syaoran.
Tomoyo was suddenly still, and quiet. She was unsure whether to believe the news or not, but as she looked back and forth between her best friend and Syaoran, it made more sense. Before she knew it, she was on the floor, with Sakura looking over her, with a wet cloth in her hand. Tomoyo shot up.
" Y-you… and you! You didn't tell me?! How could you, Sakura!!"
" Tomoyo! Calm down!! Please!! I knew you'd react this way!! It just sort of… happened! Besides, why are you so pissed off. It's not as if you like him! You like Eriol-san, you know that! Oops!" Sakura gasped, backing away from Tomoyo, who had a murderous look in her eyes.
***** Another ten minutes later
" Thank you for using GTE. For what city please"
" Tokyo, Japan" said Eriol in an unbelievably feminine voice.
" For what listing, please."
" Burger Queen" repeated the feminine voice.
" Thank you" said the robot-like voice. There were a few moments of silence before an actual woman picked up and began to speak.
" Excuse me, what was that?"
" Burger Queen." Again, in a girly, ditsy voice
" I'm not sure there is such a listing… are you sure you don't mean Burger King?"
" Why do things always have to be masculine?! Stop living in the past and wake up! We women have rights darling! We don't have to live under men anymore!! They don't own us!! We must announce feminism to the world!! No more men! No more men! No more men!" Eriol chanted.
" Excuse me, but aren't you a guy?"
" So!! What's wrong with it! I don't care if you know! I don't care if the whole world knows!! I'm GAY!!!!!!!!!!!" He cried and hung up. He smiled and turned to the group, who now howled with laughter.
Once composed again, Eriol turned to Syaoran, smiling. Before he could say anything, Sakura stepped in front of him, and said, " Hey, hey, step back, he's taken" This sent Eriol into a fit of giggles, making him seem even more gay.
" For what cite please?" the voice was heard again. They all turned to see Tomoyo standing over the phone.
" Tokyo" she replied
" For what listing please"
" Dairy King"
Ladi ladi la… Hehe, ta da!! Now… scroll down to that nice little review box. You know you want to… all the other kids are doing it…
Oh, and I accept flames (whether you like it or not), Cuz I luuuuv to play wid Fire!!
By the way, I realize that if the librarian where a librarian she would probably have read the Harry Potter Books, but lets just say she was a volunteer… yea…
~*~
DISCLAIMER: hmm… what am I supposed to say? Oh yeah!! Hehe, oops… well, I don't own CCS, much to my dismay… I own the answer machine!! Whee!!! (No, I am not high and I do not have ADD.!!!)
~*~
" SPEECH"
' THOUGHTS'
FLASHBACKS
***** CHANGE OF SCENE or TIME PASSING
( ME, MY MOUTH, AND MY COMMENTS)
~*~
Prank Calls Ahoy!!!
" Hey!! The phone line's back on!!" announced Eriol, his voice filled with excitement as it rang through the large condo. " They said it would take three days but it was three weeks instead! My English professor tried to call me to tell me they had made an error in the classroom number they'd given me and I walked into a sewing class on Tuesday!"
" Whatever… Coolio!! We've got celebrate!" yelled Tomoyo, picking up the phone and dialing a random number. Eriol could hear ringing in the background, then a voice picking up. Tomoyo began to fake hyperventilate (in more understandable terms, she pretended to hyperventilate) and whispered into the small, white appliance,
" Help!! Please!! They're going to get me!! PLEASE!!! NOOOO!!!!!!"
Suddenly she broke into a fit of screams, then slammed the phone back into the receiver, and began to giggle incessantly. The sound of applause was heard from the hallway.
" Oh, Wonderful!!! Bravo, bravo, I am SOOO inspired!!!" exclaimed the clear crystalline voice of Kinomoto Sakura. She rushed to the phone, and followed Tomoyo's example. Once again, ringing was heard, and a deep masculine voice was heard from the other end of the line. After hesitating a moment, Sakura began,
" Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with us and you will see, this our town of Halloween. This is Halloween! This is Halloween! Pumpkins scream in the dead of night, this is Halloween, everybody make a scene, trick or treat till the neighbor's gonna die of fright. It's our town, everybody scream, in this town of Hal—HEY!!" Sakura pouted as the line went dead…
" That's a great little song, but it makes a lame prank call." Said a voice, which had apparently heard everything.
They all turned to face Syaoran, whom had come in without anyone noticing. He dropped his book bag and made his way to the area where the phone was kept on a small, glass table. The kitchen was to the left, next to the door, and beyond the kitchen, there was a hall leading to the right, with two rooms, and one bathroom. To the left of the doorway, was the living room, and past it was another hall, also leading to two rooms and one bathroom. He put the phone back down for three seconds, then put it back to his ear. Once again, a number was dialed, and ringing was heard. He put the phone down and pressed the speakerphone button, right when a feminine voice picked up.
"Tokyo Crisis Center for Teens, how may I help you?"
Eyeing an empty glass, which apparently had once held milk, Syaoran began to speak in a frantic voice.
" It's gone, it's all gone!! I can't live anymore!! No, no, no!!! I'm gonna kill myself!! I won't stand to live in a world without milk!!!!"
He began to sob, then looked at Eriol. Suddenly, understanding what he needed, Eriol made an energy ball and then destroyed it, making a loud noise, a very convincing gunshot. Syaoran hit the speakerphone button, so that the line went dead. They all burst into wild laughter, except for Tomoyo.
" Li-Kun… You made a huge mess, you too Eriol-kun." She said in a stern voice. It was no secret that Tomoyo was not one for messes.
" Oh, come on, we'll pick it up later." Said Syaoran.
" Lets see…" Said Eriol. He stepped up to the phone, concentrating pensively and finally, picked it up. He dialed a number, and once ringing was heard, pressed the speakerphone button.
" Hello, Tokyo library, how may I help you?"
" Oh, yes, I'd like to know if you have," he looked over his shoulder and saw one of the Harry Potter novels sitting on the kitchen counter. He smirked and continued, " One Thousand Magical Herbs and Where To Find Them, and Two Thousand reasons Why Not To Apparate Into Azkaban, available?"
"Excuse me?"
" One Thousand Magical Herbs and Where To Find them, and Two Thousand Reasons Why Not To Apparate Into Azkaban."
" I'm sorry, who wrote these? I don't seem to be familiar with the titles." Said the woman.
" Unfamiliar with the titles?!?!?!?! Merlin's teeth, woman, and you call yourself a librarian? Any true witch would recognize those two at the moment they left the speaker lips!!!!!"
" Excuse me, did you just call me a witch?!?!"
" Yes, but I take it back. You might as well be a Muggle for all your worth!!" The woman at the other end of the line gasped, insulted, and hung up.
" Ok…" said Syaoran, obviously not having understood what had just been said, but as he looked around, he saw Tomoyo and Sakura giggling their heads off. He shook his head. " That was weird."
***** Half an Hour Later…
" Ma'am, would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?"
" Why, yes dear! What kind are you selling?"
" Erm… oatmeal… em… chocolate chip… and peanut butter!!"
" And do you have any thin mints?"
" uhh… sure, why not!" "
" Oh, wonderful! Can I order 3 boxes of each?"
" Of course you can, Ma'am!! That'll be 36 dollars. Just send the check to 15460 Central St. and address it to Explore the Outdoors Girls Scouts! What is your address so we know where to send them…"
" 12213 Humble Ave. It's the little house on the corner with the little elves on the lawn… you'll probably see my little Whiskers on the porch, too. He just loves to lie there, day and night. Odd little one he is! Maybe you could come in to look at some of the pictures I have of him! Oh, he was just so adorable when he was younger!! Then you'll have to see my little Oreo, and Brownie, and Yarn ball, and Bootsie and Tootsie, and Kiki and Kiwi, and Leon, and Larry, oh, and Harry, and Whiskers the second and—"
The poor woman was cut sort as Sakura hit the speaker button to hang up, annoyed. " Waa…"
" Haha, I feel sorry for all those cats…" said Eriol
" Yea, well, just for that, she ain't getting her Girl Scout cookies."
*Ring, Ring*
" Hello?" said Sakura as she hit the speaker button.
" Oh, dear, I think the call may have been disconnected. It's times like this I'm thankful that I have *69." Chuckled the old woman. Sakura stared down at the phone, terrified.
" Noooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
***** Ten minutes later
" Tokyo Crisis Center For Teens, how may I help you?"
" It's gone, it's all gone!! No, no, no!!! I'm gonna kill myself!! I won't stand to live in a world without milk!!!" yelled Sakura. Syaoran glared at her, realizing she was copying his call, but something was different. Instead of having Eriol create an energy ball, she picked up the glass, which had once inspired him, not realizing that it now contained milk. She'd been to busy listening to the old lady talk about her cats to see Eriol refill it. She raised it into the air and threw it, hanging up and it crashed into a wall, milk splattering everywhere.
" Oh NO!!!! Sakura!!" Tomoyo whined, her best friend not seeming so kawaii at the moment. " Is this ' Get on Tomoyo's nerves' day or something? Because if it is, then you two are doing an excellent job!! Oh, please, let me try! How about I declare it embarrass Sakura Day!! Hey, Li-kun!! Guess who has the major hots for you? Sakura!"
" Well of course she does. We've only been sleeping together for the past two months!! Don't tell me you didn't know!!" Said Syaoran.
Tomoyo was suddenly still, and quiet. She was unsure whether to believe the news or not, but as she looked back and forth between her best friend and Syaoran, it made more sense. Before she knew it, she was on the floor, with Sakura looking over her, with a wet cloth in her hand. Tomoyo shot up.
" Y-you… and you! You didn't tell me?! How could you, Sakura!!"
" Tomoyo! Calm down!! Please!! I knew you'd react this way!! It just sort of… happened! Besides, why are you so pissed off. It's not as if you like him! You like Eriol-san, you know that! Oops!" Sakura gasped, backing away from Tomoyo, who had a murderous look in her eyes.
***** Another ten minutes later
" Thank you for using GTE. For what city please"
" Tokyo, Japan" said Eriol in an unbelievably feminine voice.
" For what listing, please."
" Burger Queen" repeated the feminine voice.
" Thank you" said the robot-like voice. There were a few moments of silence before an actual woman picked up and began to speak.
" Excuse me, what was that?"
" Burger Queen." Again, in a girly, ditsy voice
" I'm not sure there is such a listing… are you sure you don't mean Burger King?"
" Why do things always have to be masculine?! Stop living in the past and wake up! We women have rights darling! We don't have to live under men anymore!! They don't own us!! We must announce feminism to the world!! No more men! No more men! No more men!" Eriol chanted.
" Excuse me, but aren't you a guy?"
" So!! What's wrong with it! I don't care if you know! I don't care if the whole world knows!! I'm GAY!!!!!!!!!!!" He cried and hung up. He smiled and turned to the group, who now howled with laughter.
Once composed again, Eriol turned to Syaoran, smiling. Before he could say anything, Sakura stepped in front of him, and said, " Hey, hey, step back, he's taken" This sent Eriol into a fit of giggles, making him seem even more gay.
" For what cite please?" the voice was heard again. They all turned to see Tomoyo standing over the phone.
" Tokyo" she replied
" For what listing please"
" Dairy King"
Ladi ladi la… Hehe, ta da!! Now… scroll down to that nice little review box. You know you want to… all the other kids are doing it…
Oh, and I accept flames (whether you like it or not), Cuz I luuuuv to play wid Fire!!
By the way, I realize that if the librarian where a librarian she would probably have read the Harry Potter Books, but lets just say she was a volunteer… yea…
