Severus Snape: The Flame-Resistant Potions Master v. 1.0

"I'm surprised Snape hasn't exploded yet."
"Yeah, look at him. He's got smoke coming out of his ears!"
"What do you think Neville did?"
"Prolly nothing too big... I mean, it's not like Snape's turned green yet...."
"Who did what for how many cookies on who's back porch?"
"Hi, Seamus."
"Hello, Harry."
"Hiya!"
"Hi, Ron!"
"Wazzup?"
"Harry, how badly do you want to die?"
"Hey! Look! Snape's twitching!"
"Don't try to get out of this, Potter..."
"Get out of what? Hey! Stop that, that tickles!"
"What are you two doing?"
"Nothing, Professor."
"It looked to me like Seamus was groping you, Harry."
"Shut UP, Ron!"
"Why for because?"
"Because if you don't, you'll have detention for the next month. With me."
"Phew. He's gone."
"He didn't explode."
"Odd."
"Maybe it's that new cloak. Makes him flame resistant. I want one."
"Oh, you already have an invisibility cloak."
"Did I ask you, Hermione?"
"No."
"Then be quiet, or you'll have detention with me for a month, because our flame resistant potions master said so."
"You're crazy."
"Thank you!^^"
"That was too cute!"
"Never do that again!"
"Oops. Sorry. Did I give you a toothache, Dean?"
"Just a BIT!"
"Teehee."
"Hey, look! He fainted!"
"Mwaha."
"Harry...."
"..."
"I'm scared."
"..."
"Stop that. There's already a shortage of periods in the world."
"Hn."
"Oh my god! That's not Harry! That's.... that's... ugh, what did you DO to your hair?"
"Brushed it."
"Oh."
"I think Snape's getting ready to explode."
"He can't. Flame resistant cape, remember."
"Oh, yeah."

Fin.