NOTE: I HAVE COME TO DESPISE THIS CHAPTER. THE ONLY THING YOU NEED TO KNOW FROM THIS CHAPTER IS THAT IT IS FRIDAY, AND THERE ARE FOUR DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT AFTER THAT FRIDAY. SERIOUSLY, THIS CHAPTER DOESN'T FIT THE MOOD OF THE REST OF THE STORY. NO HARD FEELINGS FOR SKIPPING IT AND GOING TO CHAPTER 2. :D
Hey Arnold Fanfic
"Episode 101"
Chapter 1~~ Ohayougozaimasu
Summer heat set in as the exhaust cleared. Glinting from the rear bumper, a "How's my driving?" sticker lifted at the corner as the city bus pulled away. The final remnants of glue let loose as a breeze caught and flopped the sticker on the ground inches in front of me. Reaching down, I plucked it up with my left hand, careful not to jostle the books cradled in my right. Especially not my math book; never could I drop that book.
"Ohayougozaimasu, Helga," Phoebe bounded up happily as usual, no doubt excited for the school day to begin.
"Hey Pheebs, how's it hangin'?"
"I'm doing fine, though I'm a bit disappointed that it's Friday already."
I thought so. Doesn't she have a life outside of school?
"Whatever. I just can't wait until summer break is finally here."
"Don't remind me. I can't believe we only have four days left! To think that today would have been our last day. . . thank goodness for the teacher's strike giving us four more days."
The teacher's strike—my love the hero, a knight dressed in shining armor corralling the students of what was at the time Ms. Slovak's fourth grade class into a rebellious counterstrike against Principal Wartz excessive budget cuts. Ohhh, my love.
"Ummm Helga. . . Helga!"
Even shattering glass has less of a shrill tone than Phoebe's voice when she's trying to get your attention.
"Crimony Phoebe! Can't I have a minute to think?"
"But Helga. . ."
"What!"
"You were talking to yourself. . . you were talking about, you know. . . ice cream."
A glance from one side to the other calmed my nerves a bit. At least no one was within earshot. If he, or anybody, ever finds out about that, I'd have to jump town! An exhale of air and I'm recovered for now.
"Walk with me, Pheebs."
"Actually Helga, I had been hoping to review for our geography quiz with Gerald. Aren't you meeting with your geography buddy?"
She didn't give me a chance to answer before walking off. I guess I should meet up with Sheena, but granola girl can handle herself; I've got bigger fish to fry. Halfway up the stairs to P.S. 118 I spot my golden-haired sun god speaking to that wretch Lila, no doubt impressed by one of her mindless stories.
"Whatever do you call a cow that's laying on a barn floor?"
"I don't know, Lila. What?"
"Ground beef."
And there he goes laughing at that vixen's jokes.
"Wow Lila. You're so clever."
And there he goes jabbing me in the heart. Well not today, bucko. Walking right up to them, I slap the bumper sticker on his back. "Hey Arnoldo, some of us are trying to walk here. You mind?" He was blocking the door. Can you blame me?
And then it happened. He looked at me. His green jellybean eyes caught the morning sun, sparking like the North Star guiding me home. No, that's not right. I was already home the second he looked my way. Well, glared really. He's so cute when he's frustrated. He just doesn't get it, does he?
Wait a minute, how long have I been staring at the football head? Why is he still staring at me? There, yes! He sighed, a sure sign of defeat. Now he's just waiting, I guess for me to break the silence. Crap, what do I say? Nothing. I've got nothing. He's staring, and I've got nothing! Why do I get myself into these predicaments?
"Would you look at the time," Lila said as though in complete shock. "I'm ever so certain that I must be getting to my locker."
Great. Now I owe Lila of all people.
"Wait, Lila. Let me walk you. Want me to carry your books?" I watched them disappear through the double doors without so much as a side-glance.
"Arnold. What a boob. What a half-brained, goody-two-shoes. . . and yet. . ." I looked quickly over my shoulder before diving behind a trash can and revealing my locket. "I love him. Arnold my love, I'm the one, so why don't you see it? Lila did. Phoebe did. Fat Patty and even Brainy did. But you. . . you the most sacred of all beings is a mindless little twerp. If only you could see through my blustery exterior into my soft, mushy, good-hearted center. Then you would carry my books and laugh at my half-witted jokes."
"Huuuuheeeehuuuuheeee." That sound. That deep-throated gurgling noise that always pops up behind me when I least want to hear it. Interrupting my most precious of moments where I proclaim my love for the boy I so desire. That sound. My fist rocketed backward into Brainy's nose, the satisfying crunch of his glasses an added bonus. He slunk into the depths of the trash can while I replaced my locket to its rightful place next to my heart.
"That's it. I'm going to start being nicer to him. That'll get his attention for sure!"
KiKiLoVedOnO here. What did you think of chapter 1? I had fun writing it, for sure. It was weird trying to get inside of Helga's head, but I think I got pretty close. Plenty of references to the show for hardcore fans out there.
Chapter 2 coming soon :)
Reviews and criticisms are both welcome and appreciated :D
