'Twas another normal day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, with Ronald Weasley running around flapping his arms madly. It was his one o'clock ritual, and nobody questioned it, though it was extremely embarrassing for his friends. They had to sort of just stand around watching, and clap a little whenever he made a particularly impressive trick. But today, strangely, Harry and Hermione found themselves enjoying Ron's strange boogie, and many others had gathered around to watch. Everyone was just starting to enjoy it when Ginny Weasley ran into him, doing this weird thing with her ugly head.
"Haha, what are you doing Ron, haha, are you trying to be a crow or something, haha" she squealed, trying really hard to create a funny moment. All she got were angry grumblings from the crowd, and some mutters of tarring and feathering that weird Ginny-girl. Ron stopped his dance, and looked woeful.
"Nobody appreciates me" he wailed, "nope-nope-nope." Hermione put an arm around him, and looked aggressive.
"DON'T EVEN, GINNY," she yelled as Ron wept with unhappiness, "DON'T EVEN."
"That's all you can say, that's all you can say," Ginny replied, obviously ripping off Katherine and Lindsay's funny moment. Harry hissed in displeasure. "You better be careful," Harry snarled, "Or I might throw another Year Five teenagey-angsty fit and throw stuff at you!" Ginny giggled and tossed her 'fiery mane'.
"Ewwwww, get that ugly head away from me" Harry cried in horror, and ran behind Hermione to cower. Just then, Michael Corner sort of randomly wandered in.
"Wait, who are you again?" Hermione asked. Michael informed her that his only major role in life was to be Ginny's boyfriend to make her seem cool and hip and mature for the readers. Everyone booed, and bombarded him with cabbages. Ron wailed again, because everybody had forgotten him.
"Ok, this is all Ginny's fault, so I vote we kill her" Hermione said. Everyone agreed, so they all poked her with sharp sticks.
"Wait I'm confused" Ginny wailed as she dissolved into a poisonous puddle. Harry did a happy dance, while Ron swore repetitively. After a few minutes of this, Hermione quietly punched Harry to make him stop showing off, and asked Ron what was with the incessant cursing.
"I'm trying to be as cool as Harry, he's my role model" Ron replied. Hermione shuddered at his scariness. Meanwhile, Harry ran up some stairs and got married to Justine. Then he came back, and asked Ron what his dance was actually for.
"It's time we knew what it means," he said gravely, "the prophecy says so."
"It's for Heath Ledger" Ron cried miserably, "and Jake Gyllenhaal, because he looks like a puppy!" They all had a touching moment, when STUPID EMMA WATSON came in. Hermione screamed.
"Why could they not get someone cool to be me, and incidentally, Luna Lovegood better be good, or I'll die" she wept. Emma Watson ignored her, and smiled at everybody. They all barfed at her ugliness.
"Nobody even likes you, and what was up with the freaking pink dress, so freaking ugly!" Hermione continued, ranting her face off.
"You're just jealous," Emma Watson said, making no sense, because there is nothing to be jealous about.
"I'm sorry, I don't understand a word you're saying, I don't speak idiot" Hermione sneered. Emma Watson was so offended that she died. Her remains mixed with the poisonous puddle that once was Ginny, and everyone rejoiced. The End.
