"Okay, mister Whitwicky, you're up." Mr Hosney announced as my brother stood and walked to the front of our history class.

Today was family genealogy report day, hurray...

Sam and I had worked for weeks on this learning about our great-great grandfather Captain Archibald Whitwicky and our great grandfather Clarence Whitwicky.

"Sorry, I got a lot of stuff." Sam apologized.

"Okay. For my family genea- ah!" Sam started... until a spitball hit him in the neck.

Students around me started laughing but quickly stopped when I stood.

"Who did that!?" I demanded.

"Miss. Whitwicky please sit down." Mr. Hosney said.

"People! Responsibility." He added as I glared and sat down.

"Okay. Um. So, for my family genealogy report, I decided to do it on my great-great-grandfather, who was a famous man, Captain Archibald Whitwicky. Very famous explorer. In fact, he was one of the first... to explore... the Arctic Circle, which is a big deal. In 1897, he took forty one brave sailors straight into the Arctic Shelf." Sam started again.

"So that's the story, right? And here we have some of the basic instruments and tools used by nineteenth century seamen."

People started laughing again, taking the instrument's name the inappropriate way as Mr. Hosney held up a "Quiet!" Stop sign.

"This here is the quadrant, which you can get for eighty bucks. It's all for sale, by the way. Like the, uh, the sextant here." Sam continued followed by more laughter and another quiet sign.

"Fifty dollars for this, which is a bargain. These are pretty cool. These are my grandfather's glasses. I haven't quite gotten them appraised yet, but they've seen many cool things."

Great now Sam's getting way off track.

Good-bye new car.

"Are you going to sell me his liver? Mr. Witwicky, this isn't show and sell. It's the eleventh grade. I don't think your grandfather would be particularly proud of what you're doing." Mr. Hosney interrupted.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just, you know, this is all going towards my sister's and my car fund. You can tell your folks. It's on eBay. We take . Cold hard cash works, too."

Our classmates laugh again as Sam continues, "And the compass makes a- a great gift for Columbus Day."

"Sam!" I exclaim.

"Sorry. Um, unfortunately, my great-great-grandfather, the genius that he was, wound up going blind and crazy in a psycho ward, drawing these strange symbols and babbling on about some, uh, giant ice man that he thought he'd discovered." Sam said finally getting back on track only for the bell to ring.

"Okay. Might be a pop quiz tomorrow. Might not. Sleep in fear tonight." Mr. Hosney said as people started to file out of the classroom.

I laugh at the comment as I gathered my books knowing today was Friday.

"Here, you want? Here, fifty. Forty? Thirty?" Sam was asking people as they walked by.

"Sam?" Mr. Hosney called.

"You don't get an A, I kill you." I threatened as I passed.

Sam visibly gulped as he went to talk to Mr. Hosney.

I walked to my locker and deposited my books while grabbing the ones I needed for homework tonight and my shoulder bag.

I shoved my one book into the bag as I walked out of the school and towards dad's car.

"Hey dad!" I greeted as I jumped into the back.

"How'd it go Melony?" He asked.

"Well I got an A but if Sam doesn't you and mom will have one less kid." I said as I laid down across the backseat.

Dad laughed and turned the radio up a bit. I tapped my foot to the beat while I started to sing the words.

"Come feed the rain...

'cause I'm thirsty for your love dancing underneath the skies of lust

Yeah, feed the rain

'cause without your love my life ain't nothing but this carnival of rust

Yeah, feed the rain

'cause I'm thirsty for your love dancing underneath the skies of lust

Yeah, feed the rain

'cause without your love my life ain't nothing but this carnival of rust

Don't walk away, don't walk away, oh, when the world is burning

Don't walk away, don't walk away, oh, when the heart is yearning

Don't walk away, don't walk away, oh, when the world is burning

Don't walk away, don't walk away, oh, when the heart is yearning"

"Yes! Yes, yes." Sam cheered as he ran pump to the car and got in while tossing his bag into the back and onto me.

"Ow!" I exclaimed as I jumped into a siting position and dad turned the radio back down.

"So?" Dad asked.

"A-minus. It's an A, though." Sam said quickly.

"Wait, wait, wait. I can't see. It's an A."

"So I'm good?" Sam asked.

"You're good." Dad confirmed.

"Yes!" I cheered as I pumped my fists into the air and fell back into my seat.

Dad and Sam laughed at me as we pulled away from the school.


"I got a little surprise for you two." Dad said as we pulled into a car dealership.

"What kind of s-" Sam started to ask.

"Yeah, a little surprise." Dad interrupted as we drove through a Porsche dealership lot.

"No. No, no, no, no! Dad! Oh, you got to be kidding me." Sam exclaimed obviously falling for it.

"Yeah. I am. You're not getting a Porsche." Dad laughed.

"I knew it! Ha ha dad that was great!" I burst out laughing.

"You think that's funny?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, I think it's funny." Dad said still laughing.

"What's wrong with you?"

"You think I'd really get you a Porsche? For your first car?"

"I don't want to talk to either of you for the rest of this whole thing."

"Oh, come on. It's just a practical joke."

"It's not a funny joke."

"Sammy you have to talk to me though or we'll never get to chose a car." I fake pouted.

"Fine I'll talk to you but only cause I value my car." Sam sighed.

I chuckled and hugged him from behind as we pulled into a used car dealership.

"Here? No, no, no, what is this? You said- you said half a car, not half a piece of crap, dad." Sam said as we got out and walked up.

"When I was your age, I'd have been happy with four wheels and an engine." Dad argued.

"Okay, let me explain something to you. Okay? You ever see 40-Year-Old Virgin?" Sam asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay, that's what this is. And this is 50-year-old virgin." Sam said gesturing to two cars.

I wrinkled me nose at the sight of the two cars, Sam was right.

"Ah, okay." Dad said not really caring.

"You want me to live that life? Hmm?" Sam asked.

"You know what? No sacrifice, no victory." Dad started.

"Yeah, no victory. You know, I got it. The old Witwicky motto, dad." Sam rolled his eyes.

"Right."

"Gentlemen, lady. Bobby Bolivia, like the country, except without the runs." A man said as he walked up to us and laughed at his own bad joke.

"How can I help you?" He asked.

"Well, my son and daughter here... looking to buy their first car." Dad explained.

"You come to see me?" Bobby asked.

"We had to." Sam said.

"That practically makes us family. Uncle Bobby B, baby. Uncle Bobby B." Bobby smiled.

"Sam." Sam said as he shook the guy's hand.

"Melony." I said also shaking his hand.

"Sam, Melony, let me talk to you. Your first enchilada of freedom awaits underneath one of those hoods. Let me tell you something, son. A driver don't pick the car. The car'll pick the driver..." Bobby trailed off as I walked away to look at the cars myself.

I didn't want him talking my ear off while I was looking at the cars. I walked around looking at a couple of cars before sighing and leaning against one.

"Aren't there any decent cars here?" I asked no one in particular.

"Turn around." Came a line from a familiar song.

I turned around to find I was leaning against what was probably the best car in the lot by a long shot, in any standards.

"Sam!" I called out as I quickly went around to the drivers side and climbed in.

"This ain't bad. This one's got racing stripes." Sam said as he walked up.

"Ain't bad?! It's the best car here!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah. It got racing- Yeah, what's this? What the heck is this? I don't know nothing about this car. Manny!" Bobby said ignoring me.

"What!?" Manny exclaimed coming out of the garage.

"Here move over Mel." Sam said as I moved into the passenger seat and he climbed in.

"Don't go Ricky Ricardo on me, Manny! Find out!" Bobby yelled.

"Feels good." Sam commented.

"I know right!?" I exclaimed getting really excited about this car.

"How much?" Dad asked.

"Shit." I muttered.

"Well, considering the semi-classic nature of the vehicle, with the slick wheels and the custom paint job..." Bobby said.

"Yeah, but the paint's faded." Sam interrupted.

"Y-yeah, but it's custom." Bobby said as he looked in my window.

"It's custom faded?"

"Well, this is your first car. I wouldn't expect you to understand. Five grand."

"No, I'm not paying over four. Sorry." Dad said.

"Dad!" I groaned.

"Kids, come on, get out. Get out the car." Bobby said leaning in my window again.

"No, no, no. You said cars pick their drivers." Sam argued.

"Well, sometimes they pick a driver with a cheap-ass father. Out the car. Now, this one here for four Gs is a beaut."

"There's a Fiesta with racing stripes over there." Dad said as Sam got out.

"Dad I'm NOT getting a Fiesta. Especially not with racing stripes." I said as I stuck my head out the door.

Then suddenly the door slammed closed on its own, thankfully with my head in open the window, and the other door flew open into the little bug Bobby was in.

"Score 1 for Bee and 0 for the bug!" I laughed.

"Melony! Geez. Holy cow. You all right?" Dad asked Bobby after scolding me.

"No, no, no. No worries." Bobby said.

"Really Mel? Bee?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. See, "Bee-ouch!" I said pointing to the air freshened hanging from the rear view mirror as I got out of the car.

"I'll get a sledgehammer and knock this right out. Hey, hey, Manny! Get your clown cousin and get some hammers and come bang this stuff out, baby!" Bobby laughed as he climbed out of the bug.

"Greater than man..." I heard the radio come to life as I followed the others away from the car.

"That one's my favorite, drove all the way from Alabamy." Bobby was saying.

"Go..." The radio said as a high pitch noise sounded.

I fell to the ground and screamed as I covered my ears and Sam shielded me from all the glass as every window on almost every car in the lot shattered.

Except on Bee.

"Whoa!" Dad and Bobby said as they looked around at the cars.

"Four thousand!" Bobby exclaimed.

"Shotgun!" I called out.