Little Shop Office of Aggravation

(A Gainful Employment story by Lucidscreamer)

There was absolutely no good reason for Seto to be in Yami's office (and what was his life, that he had been forced to give Yami an office). And yet here he stood, staring in slack-jawed astonishment at what appeared to be a burgeoning jungle in the middle of Kaiba Corp headquarters.

It was a large office, because Seto hadn't cared how luxurious the accommodations were as long as they got Yami out of his own office and at least one floor away. There was a wall of windows letting in quite a lot of sunlight, if the healthy, verdant plant-life was anything to go by. The furnishings were the standard dark wood and stainless steel favored by the decorator he had hired to re-do everything when he had taken over - at least, what little could still be seen of them were.

Practically every flat surface, several plant stands, two hanging baskets, and what appeared to be a vertical planter covering the wall opposite the windows were filled with plants of all descriptions. Ficus trees in large pots. Spider plants in hanging baskets. A cluster of clematis had colonized the bookcase. Everywhere he looked, there were more plants: orchids, African violets, lucky bamboo, ferns, even some sort of vine, twining its merry way up to the ceiling.

As Seto stared, Yami walked in holding a bonsai tree, which he settled gently in pride of place on his desk.

"What," Seto managed to force the words out past his grinding teeth, "is that?"

"Buckaroo."

The non-sequitor threw Seto off his mental stride so badly that he almost fell over. Instead, he swayed a bit before getting a grip on himself (and resisting the urge to get a grip on the nearest flower pot to bludgeon Yami with). "What. Are you. Talking about?"

"You asked me what this is," Yami said, looking at Seto like he was the crazy one. "I answered you."

"On what planet was that a sensible answer to any question, ever?!"

Yami smirked at him. "This one, apparently."

"How?!"

Moving around Seto, Yami picked up a watering can and began tending his jungle. "It's a gift from Yugi. He named it Buckaroo Bonsai."

For a long moment the only sound was that of liquid gurgling out of the pour spout of the watering can, and the faint rustling of leaves.

"I'm not going to talk to you again for at least a week." It would take at least that long for Seto to master his homicidal urges. Again. Spinning on his heel, he marched for the door and tried not to feel as if he should be wielding a machete and wearing a pith helmet. "I hope you get eaten by a carnivorous plant!"

"Not likely," Yami called cheerfully after him. "Audrey likes me!"

NOTES:

I have no idea where this came from. Just a weird little notion that everyone at KC has taken to gifting plants to Yami in thanks for his help around the office (he's actually accomplishing a lot of things behind Seto's back). And for some reason, Yami likes them.

"Buckaroo Bonsai" is named for Buckaroo Banzai, of course. He joins the lucky bamboo ("Citizen Kane") from Just Another Manic Monday as a member of Yami's jungle crew.

Fic title (and joke at the end) inspired by "Little Shop of Horror."