Title: shiver
Pairing: Erwin, Marie
Summary: if only.
A/N: Just trash I made up. Because my ErwinMarie feels are urgh. Texture by msmelark (DA)
shiver
erwin, marie
,
« arsenous elation »
,
"If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world."
― Mercedes Lackey
Sunset. The orange light bleeds through the thin curtains, pools on the floor, illuminates the shadows on his face. On the bed, Erwin lies asleep, drawn and pale. She cannot help but think that sleep is the only peace the Commander knows. It is a peace plagued with silent nightmares, and even then, Erwin keeps his ghosts to himself. Keeps himself away.
She wrings her hands on her lap, chooses not to reach and hold. After a decade of waiting, she has learned.
"I've lost you to humanity," she whispers, "when will you be returned to me?"
"What do you want me to say?" asks Erwin, face carefully masked.
'I want you to say that you'll return to me. That after this, you would allow me to love you.'
She shakes her head, keeps the words in, says instead:
"Say that you will fight for humanity."
The voice of Lance Corporal Levi cuts the air, razor-sharp and almost ironic, "Isn't this a little too selfish, even by your standards?"
"And what do you know of selfishness?" she forces a laugh out of her throat, ignores the sting in her eyes. She turns to look at Levi, sees the storm of anger roil beneath his calm facade.
No doubt, she has touched a nerve.
"I'm sorry," she tries to placate, "I forget that even Humanity's Strongest has a tale of woe and regret."
"You could have stopped him from all this," Levi says instead, chooses not to reopen (his) long-closed scars, dissects hers instead. "But you didn't."
"No one can ever stop Erwin from doing what he wants."
"You could have tried. Now live with your damned choice."
She smiles now, bitterly, "I am trying to."
