I'm dreadful with punctuation and grammar. I'm sorry. I know it's a pain for all you amazing people who always know where to put commas. I've tried to fix my problem and have failed. I just can't figure it out. Well, if you are willing to look past those glaring errors plus a few typos (every time I proofread this story I find another one) I hope you enjoy my musings on what it would be like to be a step sister.
Fool
Part One
She is beautiful. Dressed in pure white her dark hair piled in curls on top of her head. Exquisite and perfect. I am a fool. Watching them dance together. Moving as if one. I feel the floor fall beneath my feet and everything seems to be spinning. Faster and faster. Then I run out into the starlit night. My hair falls out of its own intricate design tumbling down my back. The curls she had spent hours putting in place are now an unelegant frizz. One of the guards gives me an odd look as I stumble out the gate. What a sight I must make. Tear stained face. Torn dress. I remove my heeled shoes and holding them in my hands continue to run through the empty streets. Maybe if I run fast enough I will not remember what a complete and entire fool I am. To think that he cared for me! In frustration I kick the ground. Pain shots through my foot and I see blood. Laughing I collapse on the ground. Fool! Fool! I berate myself You are nothing to him. Not like that. Never have been. Never will be. He loves her. He loved her from the moment he saw her. Just like a fairy tale. I thought of him his blue black hair. His serious gray eyes. His laugh. His stubbornness. Why did I have to love him?
I walk the rest of the way home. Running used up what little strength I had and now I barely have the strength to keep going. It is late when I finally make it into the dark house. I walk up to my old room and attempt to remove my dress. Which proves to be much more challenging then I expected since the bruises on my body are feeling particularly sore. As I undo button after button I remembered the first time we met. It was almost a year ago. I had been wearing this dress. He had told me it was his favorite for its emerald color brought out the green in my brown eyes and the tints of red in my brown hair. It had been my first ball. My unofficial coming out and a complete disaster.
The royal family hosts a ball once every season and their autumn celebration happened to coincide with my sixteenth birthday. Mère (mother) had spent most of her evenings helping me to remake her old dress. The one she had worn to her first ball. Unfortunately, I had not been blessed with my Mere's slender figure. "It does not matter" she informed me as she busily made alterations in the dim firelight "Beauty comes in all forms. Do not forget that." And I remember trusting her entirely. Mère also told me that we would never part but that was a lie too. At the ball we entered the hall together announced as the Lady Camille and her daughter and I had never felt more proud in my life. Then the dancing began. "Men are always scarce" Mère reassured me "You will find a partner the next dance." But no one ever asked for me. I was to selfish and upset to notice how pale Mère was as she stood there comforting me. Instead of being grateful for her sacrifices and her love I turned and ran. Almost like tonight I mused as finally pulled the gown down to my feet and slipped out of it. Except that night I ran into the garden and stumbled over a boy who was almost a man. He was two years older then me. I did not know that then, all I knew was that I was staring at the most handsome man I had ever seen and my heart was dancing. "Why are you crying?" he asked genuine concern evident in his voice. "It's a silly reason" I stammered. Embarrassment turning my cheeks a rosy color.
"Really?"
"Yes! I…well…" I could not think of a decent excuse so I settled on the truth as foolish as it sounded, "this is my first ball and …and no one wants to dance with me" I blurted out in a rush. My entire face resembling a ripe tomato.
"Thank goodness" I looked at him startled. He smiled and my legs felt weak. "That is a problem I can easily remedy" Then he bowed before me "my lady may I have this dance?" He was answered with a nod. I could not trust my voice to supply an answer.
I smile at my silly memories and settle on the seat by the window having changed into one of Mère's old dresses. I miss this house. It holds so many memories. I had been happy here. We all had been happy here even Eleanor. There had always been a distance between Mère and Eleanor no matter how hard they tried and both of them did try with all their might but they never could quite forget that they were not truly mother and daughter. I was blissfully oblivious to their strained relationship it never occurred to me odd that Eleanor only called Mère, Camille. That awkwardness didn't exist for me because Eleanor's father died before I was two years old. It was a second marriage for both our parents but one of love. Mère had been married off to an old aristocrat who was wealthy and titled. He was my father but he died soon. Mere met Eleanor's father a struggling blacksmith with a two year old daughter in desperate need of a mother. They fell instantly in love. So Mère abandoned both title and money, much to my Grandmère's disappointment and became the wife of a blacksmith. Life was not easy but we were happy for the most part until Grandmère decided to take an interest in us or to be more specific me.
As the only child of their only child I would inherit my Grandfather's estates so Grandmère decided I must be raised in a manner befitting my future. Mère protected my from Grandmère as long she could by insisting that she be the one to teach me so Grandmère sent me dresses and books and various other items to help further my education. Elanor was ignored. So while I was dressed quite fashionably and always seemed to have everything Eleanor was forced to wear the same ragged dress year after year. Mère tried to alter the clothes grandmother sent for me but I was too short and plump and Eleanor too tall and slender. Eventually Mère made a patchwork dress for Eleanor. Not the most fashionable but it was serviceable. As for Eleanor she never complained though I think she might have been jealous of my fine clothes and other possessions. I certainly would not blame her. Now it was I who was jealous of her. I hate life's little ironies.
Eleanor would be good for him. Not like me. I was nothing. Pathetic. But even a pathetic nothing can fall in love. Maybe I never would have seen him again after the ball and then none of this would be a problem. A simple crush that would fade away. Mère had promised me that she would take me to the palace when I turned 16. Only once though. I never asked for more since I knew how much my mother abhorred social functions. Mère…thinking about her still hurts. If Mère had not gotten sick my heart would not be breaking into a thousand pieces for the second time I think absently watching the stars twinkle in the sky.
The first time my heart shattered was when Mère died. It happened so quickly. Her illness had been there for years. I was too blind to see it though. So when I woke up one morning to discover that Mère would never wake again it almost destroyed me. The funeral was the next morning and that afternoon Grandmère took me from the only home I had ever known. Eleanor came as well. She should have come as my sister, given the same treatment as me. Instead they made her into a servant. When I asked why Grandmère told me that she was being charitable to the poor wretch and if I ever lowered myself to her level by talking to her Eleanor would be forced onto the streets. I wish I could have explained this to Eleanor. Then perhaps we could have remained friends. However, fear of my Grandmère kept me silent.
My reminiscing is disturbed by an unusual sight. Is that Eleanor? I look again and certainly there is something white running towards the house. But why? It is not midnight yet He would not have been able to make his announcement. I shudder angry at myself for the rush of jealousy that consumes me at the thought. I always knew I could never have him. But that had never stopped me from wanting him. I saw him at the next ball I attended, the spring ball. It had been four months since Mère had died. As I sat there watching the couples swirl around in circles I missed her with all my heart. Grandmère had abandoned me as soon as we had entered the ballroom and I stood there feeling awkward and out of place; wishing with all my heart that Mère would whisper to me that certainly the next dance I would be chosen. Before I could stop myself I was crying. Raising my fan to my face I tried to conceal my unladylike behavior.
"Mademoiselle" I heard a voice. Hastily wiping away my tears I turned to face whoever it was determined not to embarrass Grandmère. It was him smiling as always. How could I have forgotten him? "I would have come earlier" he continued "but I was embarrassed for you see lady I do not remember your name. But when I saw your tears I knew that I must overcome my foolishness and beg you for a dance" By then I was as red as my burgundy dress and thrilled by the fact that he remembered me.
I curtsied then accepted his offered hand. As he twirled me around the room I was suddenly grateful for the hours of dance instruction Grandmère had forced me to take. This time I had to be perfect for we weren't just dancing in a garden but in front of the entire court. When the music finished I curtsied one more time. "Thank you for the dance."
"A pleasure" he replied. I wanted to explain that I was not a complete idiot and I had better reasons for crying then lack of dance partners but before I could find my voice long enough to inform him of this, a beautiful woman dressed in an astounding amount of jewels appeared before us. I recognized her as the Queen.
"Finally you have come out of hiding dearest."
"Mother" he said obviously annoyed.
"Your highness" I curtsied. He was a prince. I should have known that only I would be foolish enough to have a crush on the most sought after man in the entire kingdom. Perhaps, Grandmère would admire my ambition. She certainly had grand expectations for me. A duke wealthy beyond reason and twice my age. I just hoped the Duke wasn't as near sighted as she claimed. One clear look at me would probably end all marriage negotiations.
The Queen absently raised me from my formal curtsy. "Daniel, you were supposed to meet the Prime minister's daughter." And suddenly he was gone following the Queen and leaving me sitting at the edge of the dance floor entirely bewildered.
The main door opens and I can hear muffled sobs. I had watched Eleanor run all the way to the front door. She needs help. One of her shoes is missing but I'm not sure whether or not she wants to see me. Then I call her name "Eleanor!" and picking myself up I run down the stairs and into her outstretched arms. In an instant the years of forced separation disappear and we are friends again. Sisters.
"What are you doing here?" we ask in unison then giggle.
"I missed home tonight." I inform her. It wasn't the entire truth but it is all she needs to know. "And you?"
"I…I…oh Renee what have I done?" her beautiful face fills with horror.
"You were lovely tonight." I say in an attempt to make her feel better.
"You saw me" she chokes, tears begin to spills down her cheeks.
"Of course I did. You enchanted everyone especially the Prince" I tease but the words are like grinding salt into an open wound.
"You think so" her cheeks flushing a becoming shade of pink. They are meant for each other. Perfect match. Eleanor will make such a lovely queen. It takes all my self control not to begin sobbing.
"But I am nothing. A peasant. When they find out what will they do?" she whispers and then I begin to truly understand her panic. Impersonation of a noble is a criminal offense. Daniel will not let anything happen to her though. He loves her! I saw it in his face as they danced. He looked at her in a way he had never looked at me. Stop thinking about that. Eleanor has a problem and you need to help her I chide myself. And I look at Eleanor and see how tired she truly is. Her life had been so difficult. I had always pitied myself for loosing Mère, being forced into lessons with Grandmère, and the endless parade of social functions I had been required to attend. Never once had I considered how Eleanor had suffered since the death of Mère. And I had stood aside and let Grandmère treat her as if she was a slave. I had not found the courage to stop her. A fool I cursed myself A fool and a coward but never again. I am going to have this turn out right! For both Eleanor and Daniel!!
"The prince will not let them hurt you" I reply. My confidence in him had never been shaken. I knew Daniel. Unwillingly I remembered our third meeting. I had runaway that day. Only for a day though. I had no imagination for anything more. Fully aware that Grandmère would be furious with me since I was supposed to be having tea with the infamous Duke, I made my way to the graveyard where Mère was resting. Six months since I had last heard her voice, seen her smile. The tears came again and this time I just threw myself on the ground and sobbed. Oblivious to the world and everything in it. Suddenly I found myself encircled by strong arms. Startled I pulled back and gazed into his eyes.
"I. . . I beg your pardon" he stammered appearing slightly embarrassed "but I could not think of anything else to do"
Without thought I threw my arms around him and wept into his shirt. When I was finally finished I whispered a thank you. I was too drained of emotion to feel embarrassed. He still held me in his arms and I felt safe.
"If only I knew the way to stop these tears" he said quietly. I was not sure if he was speaking to me or not so I remained silent. We stayed on the hill watching the sunset. Neither of us speaking. It was not awkward though. Somehow we had reached a point where we were just comfortable with each other. I guess sobbing into someone's shirt for an hour is one of the better ways to improve a friendship.
"I have to go." He said as the stars began to appear in the sky.
"Me too."
"Will you be there next week?"
"Yes." I would have too unless I wanted to suffer the wrath of Grandmère. The seasonal balls were a requirement while living in her household but suddenly I didn't mind so much.
"I'll look for you." Then he turned and walked away. I watched him until his figure disappeared in the distance musing how silly it was to fall completely in love with someone you have only met three times.
