Nowhere In My Heart: A Horror Filled Romance

Written by Laci Clarevil

Edited by Laci Clarevil

Characters by JK Rowlings

Any Resemblance to JK Rowlings characters is purely, strictly intentional! Hehehe

The characters, all except for Meridith Clarke and Kira, are property of JK Rowlings. Hogwarts is property of JK Rowlings. Meridith Clarke, Kira, and the office building are property of me. Got that? Good.

Like this? Don't like it? Okay. Fine. Please leave reviews with constructive critisism, not flames, because no one likes getting flames. I can handle "Well, Snape is out of character and Kira is really strange, and your plot needs work, you aren't descriptive enough, yada yada". I can't handle "This is SO GAY. Excuse me while I barf" because you don't state a reason, and its a flame and no one likes flames. Okay, got all that? Great. Now here is the story and I hope you enjoy it! I did!

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Her manicured nails went clip clip click against the keys to the typewriter. Her desk was littered with back issues of the Daily Prophet. Her favorite coffee mug was filled to the brim and every once and awhile it would tip and the coffee would slish slosh back and forth.

Kira sat there, typing away with glee. She had a pencil between her teeth, but you could still see her evil smile. She kept her eyes focused on the computer screen. Her overweight, over-stupid cat Maxwell sat on her lap, purring away. One might suspect that he knew what his owner was doing.

"Hahahaw! Oh this would make Mother so proud. She'd sit here smiling at me. Hehehehe," Kira said between clicks. "Right, Maxwell?"

The cat just purred even louder.

"Mother would be so proud. I can picture the look on her face," Kira typed away.

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Five miles away, in a run down apartment, Severus Snape stood in front of the window. "Harry hadn't turned out too bad," he thought. "A little like his father and godfather, but some things couldn't be changed," he added to himself.

Voldemort was gone. Harry had defeated him, this time for good. And they had worked as a team: Remus, Sirius, Harry, Ron, and Snape. Snape was the spy, finding as much as he could from Voldemort. Remus was the teacher, wise and smart, feeding Harry the curses and spells he should use based on the information Snape gave him. Sirius was the message deliver, making sure that owls didn't get intercepted. Ron was the humble potions maker, something he had turned out to be quite good at. And Harry had been the destroyer. Dumbledore was also part of this team, of course, and he was the encourager. He gave them the wisdom to be smart, loyal, and just.

While Snape wouldn't admit that his relationship with Sirius and Remus had improved, he had to admit that his relationship with Harry had. He didn't think of his as the measly little rule breaker. Why, he almost felt of him as a nephew. Or maybe he was fooling himself.

Well, whatever it was, he sat down at his desk and opened the mail.

"Bills, Department of Muggle Studies congratulating me, Daily Prophet renewal notice, Kira Skeeter, bill, wait, KIRA SKEETER!" Snape exclaimed, and opened the envelope quickly. Kira was Rita's daughter, and Rita had been missing for ages.

"Hello, Severus, I was wondering if we could have dinner and a movie, after all, you really need to be congratulated," a saucy, sassy voice said.

"Someone is asking me out? Is she blind? Is she dumb? Is this a joke?" Snape asked himself.

He picked up a piece of paper and wrote, "Sure, I'd love to. Where would you like to go?"

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"Oh, Maxwell, he wrote back. Now isn't that nice," she said to her cat.

"P-UURRRR, PURRRR PPPUUURRRRR," the cat answered.

"One date with Snape and all our problems will be fixed," Kira whispered to herself.

"Why, we might even fall in love," she laughed. It was a long, deep, wicked laugh.

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Saturday (the day Kira choose to go out with him) came and Snape had Sirius, Remus and Harry come over.

"I don't know what to wear, what to say, what to do!" Snape hissed.

"Well, sounds like I can't help you there, cuz Hermione won't go out, Cho is still sad over Diggory, and Ginny and Neville hit it off," Harry said.

"Listen, I have dog breath, and even if I was in my regular form, any woman who went out with me would be scared out of her wits end," Sirius said.

"We are pathetic," Snape sighed.

"Yeah," Harry and Sirius nodded.

The three un-experienced-at-dating men sat down on the couch, their heads in their hands.

"You people disgust me," Meridith Clarke said. She was Snape's new neighbor, and she had been in the kitchen.

"We disgust ourselves," they said.

"Fine, fine, fine you meatheads, and I say that with love. I'll choose what Snape will wear, what Snape will say, and what Snape will think. Why, it sounds perfect for those Muggle kids, with their action toys: Walking, Talking, Thinking Snapie! Ingenious," Meridith smiled.

"Please, do tell me, what idiot agreed to have a brain transfusion with you?" Sirius asked.

"Okay, not only our we disgusted with ourselves, now we are disgusted with you," Harry said.

Meridith laughed. "Don't worry!"

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Sixteen minutes later, Snape was wearing a suit, and looked very nice. Meridith had done something with his hair, and even got him to shave.

"Oh god. Now you disgust us!" Sirius said. Snape was wearing a huge grin on his face.

"I have to go, since I have to pick her up. We're going to the theater," he said.

"Wow, we've heard," Harry said.

"Bye, guys," Snape said as he strolled out the door.

"Okay, I ordered pizza, since everything in his fridge has mold growing on it," Meridith said.

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"Don't I look regal?" Kira asked her cat, which purred away.

"Of course I do!" she laughed.

She was wearing a long black dress, and gold high heels.

The doorbell rang.

"Oh, coming!" she shouted.

"Here he is," she whispered to her cat as she picked up her purse and slid in a glimmering, gold dagger.

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The car ride was very, very quiet. Kira kept grinning at him, and he smiled back meekly.

"So, how long have you worked for the Daily Prophet?" he asked her.

"Five months. Mom disappeared, and I had to find a way to get cash in," Kira said.

"You are a nice writer, really," Snape said.

"Now, now, aren't you a dear!" she said. The light turned red, and she turned over, and placed her lips on his cheek.

The light turned green and she sat down again.

"Still teaching at Hogwarts, I suspect?" she asked him.

"Yes, still am," he answered.

"Slytherin, like me, correct?" she questioned.

"Yes. You are a few years younger then me, of course, so you might not remember me from your Hogwarts days," he said.

"No, I remember. You were the charming one," she lied.

Snape blushed, and pulled into the parking lot. When he couldn't find a space, he dropped her off in front of the theater.

As he drove around, she picked up her notepad from her purse and wrote, "Slytherin, teaching at Hogwarts."

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During dinner before the play, she asked loads of pointed questions: why did you go to teaching? how did you defeat Voldemort? how has your relationship with Harry Potter changed? do you regret anything you did to defeat Voldemort?

But he wouldn't answer the most important questions: what is your weakness? and where can we find you? Kira was working for Voldie's supporters, of course.

"Okay, so I have to go on another date. And then another. But I'll find out," she thought to herself at the end of the date.

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The next months went by in a blur. Snape was in love with her, and he knew it.

"Somehow, somewhere, I found a woman who LIKES me! And somewhere in my heart and found enough courage to love her!" he said to Sirius, and Remus.

"Don't quit your day job," Sirius told him.

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"Okay. Tonight I'm finding out the answers to my questions," Kira said to herself.

Maxwell purred and purred and purred.

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The date was cozy: staying at home and watching romantic Muggle movies.

And then the last movie ended.

Kira had it all planned.

"Severus, did you hear that?" she asked, pretending to be totally panicked.

"Hear what?" he asked.

"I swear, I heard something outside. A thud," she cried.

"Let me go look," he said, standing up.

"NO! Don't leave me here! What if he breaks in and kills me?!?"

"I can't stay here all night, K," he told her.

"Yes, you can. I'm so afraid!" she whimpered.

"Fine, fine," he said.

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"Isn't he supposed to be home by now?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, he should be," Remus said.

"Oh, you guys are so scared," Meridith laughed.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked.

"They are probably making out or something," Meridith laughed.

"Oh," the men said at the same time.

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Indeed, they were.

Kira led him into her room.

And soon, he was on the bed.

That's when she picked up the dagger from the table and hid it behind her.

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"Am I the only one nervous here?" Sirius asked.

"You know, I am, too," Remus said.

"Okay, guys, what are you going to do? Go to her house?" Meridith asked.

"Mer, it's 1 in the morning," Remus argued.

"That late?" Meridith sat up.

"That late," Sirius said.

"Okay, we are driving over there," Meridith said.

"We'll ring the doorbell, and make sure everything's okay," Remus said.

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Things were not okay. Kira was holding the dagger to his chest.

"Oh please someone just ring the doorbell!" he thought to himself.

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"Can't you drive any faster?!?" Sirius screamed.

"Well since your damaging my hearing I think I'll have to concentrate on that!" Meridith yelled back, holding her ear.

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"So, tell me. Just answer those two questions and everything will be fine!" she hissed in his ear.

"I thought you loved me!" he screamed at her.

"Nowhere in my heart, hon, would I find anything to love you with," she laughed.

He glared at her.

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"Ring the doorbell!" Remus said.

DINGDONGDINGDONGDONG

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"Shit!" Kira said, standing up. She dropped the dagger on the floor.

Snape picked it up one of her high heels as she retreated.

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"Hi, we live around the corner, and is everything okay?" Meridith said. She saw Snape creeping up behind Kira.

"Everything's fine. Why?" Kira asked sweetly.

Snape motioned to his throat and covered his ears.

"We heard yelling," Meridith said. Snape gave her the thumbs up.

"No, no body was yelling he-" Kira was cut off. Snape whacked her in the temple with her shoe.

"Hehehe!" Sirius laughed.

Meridith hugged Snape. She was crying.

"Oh my gawd. Are you in love with Snape?!" Sirius blurted out.

"No. I just hate being wrong. He was in trouble," Meridith said.

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Can you guess what happened next? Well, Kira landed in Azkaban, and Meridith and Snape are in love.

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So what did you think? Leave CONSTRUCTIVE reviews, please, so I can learn from them! You can email sugarychika@gurlmail.com for more comments and any flames you have. Just don't leave flames here. And yes, I know the chances of peace between these guys is so unlikely, but its FanFiction, as in,. who cares and let your imagination run wild!