Like all stories of this genre belong, takes place in a fantastical world. A world full of dragons, knights, maidens in distress and dwarfs with gender issues. This is a story which takes place in what we narrarators call 'The Discworld'.
The Discworld is, as it sounds like in the name, a large Disc rested upon the shoulders of four large elephants (There were five, but that is a different story) who in turn stand on top of the carapace of the massive turtle Great A'tuin.
Nobody knows where A'tuin is going, but then again no-one on the Discworld cared, after all they all had other things to worry about in their daily lives.
The Disc is massive, about 10 000 miles across and about 30 miles deep at the rim, capable of supporting all kinds of life.
Humans, dwarfs, elves, witches, wizards (the excuse 'Wizards did it' is very plausible on the disc if something needs explaining) trolls, birds, caterpillars and so on and so forth.
Back to the story then!
What for exciting adventure will we have today? The previously mentioned Knight who sets off on a quest to free a maiden from the clutches of a evil dragon in a ultimate representation of Good vs Evil? Unfortunately said dragons do not exist in this reality, and quite frankly it would be quite silly since a man dressed in metal armour would have a million in one chance to survive said encounter or be daft enough to go out on said quest.
No, our adventure totally is much simpler, it deals with intrigue and shadows, betrayal and cunning which can only be found in the city of Ankh-Morpork, the (to some loyal fanatics who would yell at tourists for hours until they made their point across) greatest city of the Disc.
Ankh-Morpork is without doubt the largest city with around one million inhabitants, and of course with a city that size one needs a large police force to counter the (unlicensed) thefts, murders and other more morally innocent trespasses.
Our story follows three members of this 'Ankh-Morpork City Watch' who stumble upon the major catalyst to get a plot going, a death.
Wiona looked around the street anxiously as the city lanterns were lit. The wizards of the Unseen Academy asked the Patrician several times to lit them themselves by magical means, but after the Pink Hippo accident, which no Ankh-Morpork Citizen wishes to talk about to outsiders, but for now old man Jenkins was still in charge.
'Evening Mister Jenkins.' A man who walked next to Wiona said as he tipped his steel helmet at the elderly fellow.
'Evenin' youngsters.' The elderly man replied.
Mister Jenkins was probably the eldest still working person in Ankh-Morpork, in the world it would be the Barbarian named Cohen which is again another story, so it wasn't uncommon for calling everyone youngster.
Wiona smiled weakly as she tipped her black pointy hat. She was a young girl, around her twenties one might've guessed, with a fair face (smile included) and wore a black robe (modified to make walking easier) with the City Watch badge embedded on it and said black pointy hat.
Walking next to her was a man, late twenties, who wore a steel helmet, a steel chest plate embedded with the same badge and a sword and baton on both sides of his belt. The third member of this patrol was, with the best of descriptions, a walking piece of rock with assorted limbs. A troll, no idea how one could measure age with their kind other then getting a geophysicist.
Like the man he had the same helmet and chest plate (although it was modified for the torso) along with the badge.
The badges were eight-pointed copper stars, with the city coat-of-arms in the centre.
There was a sentence writing around the arms from a dead language, but none of these three Watchmen knew it's meaning.
'I've never seen the city at night before...' Wiona said.
'I have, trust me you wont like walking around in it for long.' The man replied.
'If you say so, Constable De Schacht.'
'Call me Maurice.' The man smiled.' After all your in the Watch now, isn't that right Malachite?'
The man turned to see the troll, but found him/her/it staring at them with a blank expression.
'Right.' Maurice took the silence as a yes.
'Alright then, Maurice.' Wiona smiled back.' So, what happens on these patrols anyway?'
'Well not much, we just keep walking around for eight hours, we check back in aaaand...that's it really.'
'We just walk?'
'And stop anyone we see from committing crimes if they do not have a permit.'
'Permits?' she blinked.
'Well yes, you see the Patrician, the guy who runs this place, made crime organised. Thieves can steal stuff if they are members of the thieves guild and people can kill other people if they are part of a Assassins guild.'
'That's horrible!'
'Makes things easier for us though.'
'Yes.'
The two humans looked back at their troll colleague who only now caught up to their conversation.
'Welcome back Malachite, we missed you.' Maurice chuckled.' How was memory lane?'
'Familiar.'
'Bet it was.'
The three stopped as they heard a window crash and the shrill scream of a woman.
'That's one street away, come on!' Maurice said and led the two other Watchmen to what might be the scene of a crime.
When the trio arrived a small crowd was gathered around something.
'Flip out your badges.' Maurice told his peers as he took out his.
'Step back everyone!' he started shoving people away as nicely as possible.' Ankh-Morpork City Watch, clear a path here people.'
Wiona flashed her badge as well and followed her peers in the gap which the crowd was circled around.
She gasped as she saw her first dead body, and a black leather clad man with a hood which covered his face was stood above it as he searched it.
'Assassins guild business eh?' Maurice sighed.' I thought you lot were supposed to be quiet.'
'Keep yourselves out of this.' The assassin glared.' This isn't your business.'
'Oh pardon me, I am Constable Maurice, these are Lance Constables Wiona and Malachite of the City Watch, I do believe this is our business. Name and license please.'
The assassin took our a piece of paper and gave it to Constable De Schacht.
'Grumpy...' Maurice said softly.
'A man just got killed, and your letting him walk?' Wiona shouted.' I thought you were the police?'
'It's guild business Wiona, nothing we can...' he stopped.
'What?'
'This isn't a real license.'
Maurice nudged the assassin.' Sir, I need a real license.'
The assassin kept searching something from the body. Wiona took a closer look. It was a man of age, wealthy guessing of the fine clothing. She saw several stab wounds in the chest area, this assassin was very sloppy it seemed.
'Sir, name and License, please.' Maurice drew his sword.' Last warning.'
As if he enraged a animal the assassin growled and drew his daggers, in a blink of an eye they were stopped as they were embedded in Malachite's left arm.
'Your coming with us!' The Constable said as he used the flat side of his blade to knock the assassin against the ground, unconcious. 'Wiona, cuff 'em.'
'How did you know it wasn't a real license?' she asked as she used her metal cuffs to ensnare the villain.
'Different paper, stamp is all wrong...and they spelled 'Assassin's guild' wrong.'
'What did it spell?'
He showed her the license which made her smirk.
'Malachite, stay with the body, I'll send the guys from the nearby Watchhouse this way, alright buddy?'
The troll merely stood in place near the body.
'Alright...' Maurice took the prisoner by one arm and Wiona by the other as they dragged him away.
'Malachite doesn't talk much.' She said.
'I know, he's very quiet like for a Troll, sharp on reflexes though.'
'I didn't even see those daggers, how did he?'
'I think he just focuses on the area around him and act on it if something like that would happen. Trolls get a bit slow in the noggin' if it gets warm y'know, silicon based brains and all that'
The two Watchmen dragged the prisoner away as the crowd dispersed by the sheer intimidating sight of a Troll on watch.
'So...where are you from?' Wiona asked as to break the ice.
'Oh...around.' Maurice replied.' Here, there...Everywhere. Except Borogravia, that place is bloody awfull. Civil wars all the time...'
'I mean, where were you born?'
'Somewhere.'
'...you are hiding something aren't you?'
'Let's just say the reason why I can recognize licences from fake ones, and several other dodgy practises were a means to survive a while ago, before I joined the Watch.'
'Your not a assassin to are you?'
'What, no! Of course not...had to run from 'em though. Six bloody months...'
The assassin groaned as he started to wake up.
'Oh hello sleepy head.' Maurice said.' Pleasant dreams?'
The Assassin blinked behind his hood. He glanced left...then right...then started to break free.
'Let me go!' he shouted.
'Oh, okay sure, you only had to ask.'
'Really?' The assassin blinked.
'No, this is what they call sarcasm, it's when you make fun of a obvious situation.'
'He's not very bright for a Assassin..' Wiona remarked. 'In fact...your not a Assassin are you?'
'What, of course I am, I got hired to kill that man!'
'You do not own a license, you do not act like a trained professional killer. In fact you only got the weapons of one.'
'Which are no doubt stolen.' Maurice glared.' When we get back to the Watchhouse we-'
The Assassin shot back and dragged the watchmen with them as he was hit by a unseen force.
Wiona shrugged the dizziness of as she took her hat and put it back on. She gazed at the large arrow in the man's chest, a bolt from a crossbow.
She heard Maurice groan as he slowly got to his feet.' Wha...-'
Wiona was a Witch, and one thing a Witch learned from early one was to use what they called, Headology, a practice of magic which can turn a hardened criminal into a faithful hard working father of three, or in this case making a bolt from a crossbow that was headed toward them self combust.
'Somebody is firing at us, rooftop!' Wiona shouted.
'Got it.'
The Constable immediately got his feet and ran towards the other side of the building.
He climbed up the buildings like a professional burglar, which he might have been in a pre-Watch live, until a window next to him opened, with a surprised woman in her night gown staring at him.
'Urghm...hello.' Maurice said clumsily.' Constable Maurice of the City Watch, any complaints?'
The woman shrieked and slapped him across the face.
'...dully noted.' He replied as he resumed his climb upstairs.
He crawled over the rooftop where he saw the mysterious assailant firing bolt after bolt at Wiona below.
The Constable grinned and drew both his weapons as he charged toward the assailant as quietly, since he did wear a lot of metal, as possible.
The assailant had sharp hearing however and turned around to meet the Watchmen.
'Ankh-Morpork city watch, drop that crossbow NOW!'
'I only listen to the words of God!' the assailant replied as he loaded another bolt.
'Well you can also listen to my club of justice!'
The Constable sliced the crossbow in twain with his sword as his baton clipped the mysterious assailant over the head.
The assailant stumbled back, his feet touching the very edge of the roof which divided him from said roof and the 30 second neck braking fall.
He looked over his shoulder...and grinned.
'You have nowhere to go pal, keep your hands in the air, your under arrest.'
'You fool...' the crossbowmen said.' Do you not understand, this city is going to end...'
'If I had a copper coin for every person who said that...' Maurice said.' Look, if your part of a cooky cult don't do it, they're not worth it.'
'My god demands no failure.'
'I can demand failure, I don't mind, I'm a failure myself, so why don't we just step away from the edge and have a drink, failure to failure.'
Maurice offered his free hand.' Please?'
The man stared at the hand.
'Come on...you don't have to do this pal...'
'I do...' in a blink of an eye he took Maurice's hand.' And you will join me!'
The assailant fell down as he dragged Maurice with him.
'MAURICE!' Wiona shouted as she held out her hands. Witches didn't use magic a lot, they rather wanted to use their own wits and smart to handle crisis, but it seemed she had to break that taboo if she didn't wish to lose her colleague.
As if the very essence of Deus Ex Machina itself, Maurice floated to the ground gently as the assailant smacked down on the ground. Maurice ran over to the victim as he checked his vitals.
'Dead...gods damnit...' Maurice cursed.
'You alright?' Wiona asked as she ran over.' Is...is he..?'
'Dead...yes.' Maurice took a box of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one.' Thanks for the save.'
'Your welcome...Gods...I never saw a dead body before, let alone three in one night!'
'Welcome to the Watch, Wiona.'
TBC
