The Darkest Part Of Me
I groaned loudly as I felt his provoking lips pressed against mine, his saucy tongue diving in and out of my mouth as he pinned me roughly to the outside wall of the building, the rain pouring down our bodies and drenching our clothes.
A whine escaped from between my lips when he separated our mouths, the flashes of lighting transforming his mane from a ghostly white to an elegant silver and the bolts then reflecting in his dark, chocolate orbs.
Then I heard myself scream as his mouth came down hard on my neckline, his teeth barely applying enough pressure to break the skin.
His lips…his hands…running over me…touching me…making me moan…
"Spirit…"
I jolted up-right in my bed, beads of cold sweat dripping down my face as my chest rose and fell to try and catch fresh air.
My eyes blinked fully open and I swallowed hard; my throat was as dry as the sands of Egypt. Suddenly dipped in a fit of rage, I grabbed my nearest pillow and hurled it against the wall, where it pathetically dropped to the floor.
A sudden clash of thunder from outside made me jump, the flash from Heaven lighting up my room through the window for a brief second.
It was on nights like this…that his essence would rekindle in my heart, my mind, and my dreams.
My soul remembered being tainted, remembered his dark quintessence pouring into me, and remembered part of itself being pried apart. It had been the most horrible feeling I had ever experienced. Yet, my heart continued to replay the moment to me every time lighting lit up the sky.
I couldn't rid myself of his presence, even though it had been months since our encounter and I hadn't seen hide nor hair of him. But no matter where I went, I still felt his lingering voice hissing into my ear.
And worst of all, I couldn't forget how he tortured me with his icy hot lips and hands. I felt possessed…all the time…and I could never wash his contaminating touch out of my skin…
"I'm gonna be the Warrior!" Joey declared, pounding the little soldier-like figurine down onto the game bored.
"The Monster Tamer will be my character!" Yugi smiled, showing his small sculpture.
"Okay," Ryou chuckled. "I guess I'll be Zorc again. What about you Cahya?"
"Hm? What now?" I asked, snapping out of my thoughts. My three friends shot depressing looks as I continued to slouch in my position on Ryou's sofa in his apartment.
"We're playing 'Monster World,' remember?" Yugi reminded me. "Ryou just asked you who you wanted to be."
"Oh," I voiced unthinkingly. "Sorry guys. I'm just not in the mood. You can go ahead and play without me." With that, I rested my chin in the palm of my hand and looked out the window where rain fell through the gray mid-day sky.
The words of my friends played behind my ears and the laws of life forced me to listen, although I wasn't really paying attention. I did however feel a pair of soft, worry-radiating eyes pawing at the back of my neck.
"Okay den, let's get dis show on da road!" the blonde shrugged.
"Actually, Joey…" Ryou opposed. "How about you play Zorc? I'm not quite in the mood to play either."
"But Bakura, this is your favorite game!" Yugi said slowly.
"Oh, I know. But I'll just let the two of you play for now," he assured them and with that, I heard him get up out of his seat at the far end of the game table. It was a few moments later that I felt him sit down next to me on the sofa, his thigh brushing against my sock-covered feet that were propped up on the couch along with me.
I didn't acknowledge him, until he placed a hand on my knee bent towards the ceiling.
"Is everything alright Cahya?" he asked me quietly.
I continued to stare out the window as his other hand moved to rest atop mine. Slowly turning my head to face his, I locked our eyes.
"Please, talk to me," he requested, a begging tone vibrated from his voice.
I sighed loudly, trying to force an honest smile to my face, but failed.
"I'm sorry, Ryou. I just…can't."
I straightened by body and sat normal on the sofa. Within moments, the young Albino was sitting snugly next to me, our bodies pressed against each other with my right side to his left. The Brit and I had always been close friends, and this was his way of comforting me: just letting me feel that he was there.
"Do … you want to go out and get a bite to eat?" he suggested sweetly, giving me an adorable smile.
I thought for a moment, then nodded.
This is what Ryou and I did when one of us were sorting through a problem, even if we refrained from telling the other. We would call each other up, and spend time together at our favorite café.
We had left Joey and Yugi back at Ryou's apartment, much to the two gamers' confusion, but this was a moment for just us.
We sat in comfortable silence, him not pushing me to explain my predicament.
The door to the eatery opened, the sound of a bell ringing throughout the miniature restaurant. A lean person wearing a black sweatshirt entered, his head down and his hood up, so I couldn't see his face. He took a seat in the booth behind Ryou and a waitress came up to him, but I couldn't hear what he ordered.
A quick shiver shot along spine, creating a chill down my neck that made the hair there stand on end; I was hoping that it was nothing more than a draft from when the door opened and let in the air from the outside storm. I consciously shifted my feet under the table, away from Ryou's wet umbrella.
I felt his concern-packed eyes on me again, a spoonful of our ice-cream sundae halfway to his mouth. (We would always share one; there were less calories that way.)
"Is something the matter?" he asked, his lovable enunciation suddenly warming away the chills that had incased me for the moment.
"Um…yeah. I'm fine," I pledged, popping another dollop of vanilla ice-cream into my mouth so if he questioned me further, I wouldn't be inclined to answer.
He turned his head in that cute way that he does, but didn't push the subject and continued eating.
Ryou always knew when something was "up" with me. It was beginning to get strangely uncomfortable actually. Ever since my encounter with his darker half, perhaps about three months ago, he seemed to look at me differently, as if he was not only worried, but wary.
Judgment of the topic made my brain pulse to a point where I had to massage my temples to ease the pain. It was possible that more than just thoughts were up there in my head, because this was an excruciating headache that I had never experienced before.
"Oh, looks like you've got a nasty bit of brain-freeze there, eh?" he chuckled, his expression quickly changing into a playful smile.
"No dip," I bit back, even though I knew brain-freeze wasn't the cause of my discomfort. I felt him shoot me a puzzled look; I guess come-backs weren't exactly my usual forte, especially when speaking with Ryou. I promptly shot him an apologetic glance. "Sorry about that."
"That's…quite alright," he told me, seemingly with some difficulty. I overlooked the matter as we returned to our frozen treat.
"A bit on the ill-tempered side today, are we?"
His voice snickered into my ear. My hand immobilized with shock and the eating utensil dropped from my fingers like a bucket of rocks.
Alarmed by the sudden sound of clinking metal, Ryou's attention shot up to me. "Cahya? What is it?" he asked, his voice quickly becoming flooded with fear.
My hands flew to my head, clutching both sides, and my eyes screwed themselves shut. His voice…it was whispering to me from the inside again.
'Go away!' I shouted in my mind. 'Get out of my head!'
I still hadn't discovered how he could do this. I would hear his voice, speaking to me as plainly as Ryou's, but I never saw him, nor did anyone else seem to hear him. It didn't hurt, but it drove me insane.
"Cahya! Talk to me!" Ryou's voice called out to me. My eyes opened to look at him; he was standing straight up in his seat, ready to rush to my side. I stood up so quick that my chair plunged to the floor, turning heads in the restaurant.
"Cahya!" he pronounced my name again, his hands shooting out to hold onto my arms. "What ever is going on?"
I couldn't tell him; I had promised myself that I wouldn't worry him with his once alter-ego. That's when I heard a sickening chortle from the corner. I looked up to see the black-hooded stranger, a cup of black coffee now steaming from his hand. The sound waves of his articulation seemed to make their way to me in slow motion, as if I didn't want to believe my ears…which I didn't.
"No…" I uttered under my breath, probably just loud enough for Ryou to hear me.
"What?" he questioned in confusion, his face closer to mine in an attempt to calm me.
Before he had the opportunity to say anything else, I darted out of that place as fast as my legs would carry me. My eyes were shut tight, my feet following an invisible map of Domino City that was imprinted on the inside of my brain. I ran down sidewalks, alleyways, across streets, and through squares, the light drizzle of rain only soaking me slightly.
"Come now, you can't get rid of me that easily!"
Again, his accent wormed its way through my head and to my ears, defying the scientifically-correct way the human hearing-system should work. I skidded to a halt, only a block or less from my apartment. The cool precipitation started to form a misty haze around my body as it collided with me.
"Go…away…" I growled out loud, not caring who listened.
I heard him snicker again in the back of my mind, but nothing more.
Then I heard rushed footsteps approaching me from behind. I pivoted around, ready to deck whoever it was, but was surprised when I was pulled into a fierce hug. By the scent of their clothes, I could tell it was Ryou, and my arms threw themselves around his neck. Tears instantly began flowing from my eyes, dripping off the ends of my eyelashes and aiding the rain in soaking his yarn shirt.
When he squeezed me tighter, I realized he had nothing in his hand; in his attempt to hurry after me, the crazy fool had left the umbrella back at the restaurant. Now we would be drenched.
Pulling back from the embrace a bit, I felt him look across at me, as we were the same height, but only see the back of my head.
"Cahya, what on earth is the matter with you? You've got me fretfully worried!" he exclaimed. I shook my head violently, my face still buried in his shoulder.
"Perhaps Cahya…you need to see someone? You know…for help…"
My sobs stopped almost at once, and I peeked up at him in astonishment. "You mean…like…a psychiatrist?"
"No, no! Not at all! I-"
"You think I'm crazy!"
"No, Cahya! I'm just worried!"
That was it, I had heard enough. I tried throwing myself out of his arms, but he held onto me for dear life.
"Cahya, no! Please!" he begged.
That's when I pulled my hand in, and let it fly forwards, crashing into the side of his face. I felt my fingernails rake across his cheek and glared at him with a strangely sinister sensation in the pit of my stomach.
When my hand had smacked him, his head had jerked to the side, but now he slowly looked back at me. The whole left side of his face was pink, and three tiny, even scratches lay etched beneath his eye. He gaped at me, apparently not wanting to accept what I had just done.
I myself didn't quite believe it, but there was no turning back now. He had long since released me, and now I took off down the street again.
Trudging up the steps to my front door miserably, I reached for the doorknob just as I felt a hand come down on my shoulder. My heart skipped a beat, and the foul presence in the corner of my soul became more noticeable.
Turning around without haste, I came face-to-face with the hooded visitor from the café.
"Hello…my Light."
He laughed quietly as he removed the cover that shaded his face. Meeting my eye was the Spirit of the Millennium Ring, the mastermind behind my agony.
His voice sounded just as it did inside my head, particularly worse now that I witnessed his lips moving along with the words.
"W-What do you want?" I demanded, trying to hide my terror; I was failing.
"I already acquired that during our last meeting,"
He reminded me, pointing to a necklace that dangled from his neck, it glowing a soft white in the dreary afternoon.
I gulped; that must be the 'light' he had stolen from me. All of a sudden, fright swept over me again. I shoved him away as hard as I could, and threw the door to my rented building open. Moving hastily, I raced inside, then jammed my key into the alternate knob and turned it. Panting with alarm, I leaned against the door and slid to the floor, my eyes closed as I tried to calm myself.
"Hello again."
My eyes flew open again, only to find that I was starring into the face of my torturer. In moments, he was down on the floor with me, on his knees and pinning my hands to the door with his; my memory reeled the scene of us in a similar position to my heart, making it sting with horror, hate, and a jumble of other emotions that I couldn't even name.
"How did you…" I breathed, my ability to speak once again stolen by his existence.
"I have my ways,"
He told me, a smirk clearly lining his lips.
I knew struggle would be in vain, and resistance was futile, but curiosity seemed an available option.
"If you have what you need…why do you continue to torment me?" I practically screamed in his face, a short wave of ferocity taking me over.
"Quite a bit more feisty this time, aren't you?"
He chuckled.
"Answer me!" I ordered, fighting against his grip, but having no affect.
"Perhaps you have sensed me in the corridors of your soul lately?"
He asked. Where was he going with this?
I nodded, my eyes still fixed in a defiant stare.
"We are connected…you and I…"
He whispered into my ear, his breath trickling down the side of my face and sharpening my intake of air. He heard this and I felt him smile, but it was a bloodcurdling grin that did anything but lighten my spirits.
"Since our faithful encounter… our souls have been sharing each others essences… your light… my darkness…"
The way he spoke sent quivers down my back; the same thing was happening to me as it had last time. He was casting some sort of spell over me and I would soon give into his every whim.
"Ugh…stop it…" I gritted between my teeth, afraid that I would soon lose complete control.
"Stop what?"
He snickered, his face trailing down the side of mine. His hands still had mine pinned above me, and my body being held still by his, our clothes damp from the slight rain outside.
"Quit corrupting me…" I groaned, my eyes closing with the effort to stay my own person.
His hand followed the curve of my body, sliding down my side and resting on my hips.
"That's what darkness does. It seeps into the tiniest crevices of our beings…and takes us over from the inside…out."
My mind was foggy, but I understood. He was literally inside my head. He could do this to me anytime, anywhere. All this time, part of him had never even left me…and the thought frightened me even more.
"What … do you plan … to do?" I asked, my breath coming in labored puffs, his icy curse threading its way through my nerves.
"One sharing my darkness … your potential is unimaginable. With the two of us, anything we desire can be ours,"
He persuaded, his lips now caressing my neck.
A sudden detestation seized me.
"How? By brainwashing me like you are at this very moment?" I hissed, my limbs straining against him. At this, he seemed the most amused.
"At this very moment…"
He repeated.
"…I am using no such magic on you."
Why did I want to believe him? Why did I believe him?
"Because you know it is true."
I cursed him in my mind; he was sensing my thoughts again.
"Let my darkness take you over… It would be much less painful."
I knew he was right. Nothing could be more painful than fighting him off with what little light I had left; I could slowly feel it seeping out of me and being replaced by nothing but shadows.
My body was tired… My mind was exhausted… My spirit was drained…
I finally could take it no longer, and I did the one thing that shamed every inch of my pride; I begged him.
"Spirit…stop…please!" Tears streaked my face, a feeling I had grown very accustomed to.
That's when he kissed me full-on: our lips locking, our tongues dueling, our bodies rubbing together. Part of me was sickened and wanted to shove him away with every ounce of energy I had. And yet…another part of me was relieved, feeling as if I was addicted to a deadly drug I had gone months without, then finally got a sweet dose of it. I found my oral appendage battling his, tasting everything that was him. My hands twisted into his hair, its softness pleasing to my fingers.
'No spell…no spell…' I mentally reminded myself. This was all me; I had complete control. … Then why couldn't I stop?
"Why…?" I crooned into his mouth.
"You seem to respond well to this…"
He snickered against my lips.
"…and it has some pleasant side effects."
He crashed his lips onto mine again, fiercely working at my mouth as he intensified the kiss.
I aided the action for a moment, just because I loved his flavor, then heaved him off of me with surprising strength.
He was propelled backwards a ways. Once more on his feet, he blinked down at me, then that malicious grin distorted his features again.
"You're becoming more and more like me with each passing second, my dear,"
He told me.
I was already on my feet as well, but my face wasn't heavy with anger, but fright, and strangely, not of him. He was right. With every moment that passed, the darkness in me was growing steadily stronger, and I had no way of stopping it.
Perhaps the only way was to stop the darkest part of me itself…and that would be the Spirit of the Millennium Ring.
My eyes had drifted, but then I let them straighten to look at him again; however, they fell on nothing but empty space.
"Do not worry…I won't be far…"
His voice murmured in my ear.
A growl rose in my throat, but I held it back; I had to fight the darkness. So, knowing the only other thing to do, I slumped down onto my knees again, and let the drops of salt water pour down my face.
I starred at myself in the mirror the next morning as I tied the black, leather choker around my thin neck. Over night, my practically-white blonde hair had darkened, now a pin-straight, dirty blonde display that draped across my shoulders, still fairly light against my ebony jacket. My teal eyes had lost some of their sheen, appearing to me as a dull gray.
I hardly recognized myself.
Making my way down the sidewalk, nearing Domino High, I watched as Ryou and the others came into view.
They were sitting under our usual Oak tree, Ryou, Yugi, and Tea' atop the picnic table as always.
As I approached, I felt all their eyes on me. I noticed that Ryou had a pasty cotton gauze taped to his left cheek.
"Hey, I liked what you did with your hair, Cahya!" Tea' complimented.
"Thanks," I said passively, stopping my walk in front of them; this in itself was a lie because I had done absolutely nothing to change the color of my hair, but I figured an explanation of this would be pointless.
"Are you trying a new look?" Yugi asked, referring to my dark clothes.
I shrugged; when I had dressed this morning I grabbed the first thing my eyes fell on. Truthfully, I didn't even know I owned these.
Joey and Tristan gave me their customary goofy grins, completely oblivious to my transformation; Yugi and Tea' didn't seem to pay it much attention either, which I admitted was strange for little Yugi.
Of course, Ryou knew better. He flashed me a weak smile and patted the wooden table beside him, inviting me to sit. I slowly shook my head, declining his offer. He hung his head and sighed, only loud enough that the sound reached my ears. Then, defeated, he jumped down off of the picnic bench and came to stand directly next to me, the sudden movement turning the heads of our friends.
His hand reached out and cradled the side of my face; in my mind, I was debating on whether or not to strike him again. He let his thumb caress my cheekbone. I could feel the eyes of the others upon us, but our eyes were starring unblinkingly into other's, mine fierce and unwavering, his quaking and glossy, has if he was about to start shedding tears at any moment. Then, he leaned forward and his lips tenderly brushed against the side of my face. My eyes widened in shock as he pulled away; his hand slid down my arm as he slowly walked towards the front doors of the school.
The others looked at me questioningly, features of confusion and disbelief altering their appearances.
I ignored them, my fingers running over my cheek where my best friend had planted the kiss. Suddenly, I felt a scowl paste itself to my face. Infuriated, I made a mad dash for the school building. I dashed past teachers, Ryou, other students, through the double doors, down hallways of lockers, and finally through the large heavy door of the girl's bathroom on the first floor.
I stopped when I reached my destination, my figure bent over a sink and gasping for air, my weight on my arms.
"Running again are we?"
His voice chortled in my ear. I pivoted around. No one; he was talking to me from the inside again.
"Argh…" I snarled under my breath, grasping the sides of my head. I heard him chuckle inside my mind, my anguish his favorite entertainment.
"Get. Out. Of. My. HEAD!" I screamed, loud enough for the entire school to hear me. Then his chuckles turned to fits of maniacal laughter, the sound driving me senseless.
I twisted around the bathroom, squeezing my head, throwing myself against walls, anything I could do to make his voice disappear. Nothing was working.
I spun until I came to the mirror and stopped. My hair was stringy, a disheveled mess from my fit of insanity. I starred into the reflective surface, my pupils dilated with fear. Standing behind me in the mirror was the Spirit of the Millennium Ring, his wolfish smirk beaming back at me. If anyone else would've walked in, they wouldn't have seen him; he was a manifestation from inside my head, but I knew I wasn't imagining him. He was striving, doing everything in his power, to make me eccentric, and whatever he was doing, it was working.
A fit of fury surged through me and my eyes narrowed. Curling my fingers into a fist, I threw it at the mirror. It shattered into a countless array of pieces, the shards flying outward into my clothes, onto the floor, and through my skin. I gazed down into the broken glass, my hand dripping with fresh blood. Finding a rather large section, my face starred back at me, reflecting a terrified, angry, corrupted girl that had a bone to pick with the world and didn't know why. Tears welling up in my eyes, I rose my foot and dropped it down on top of my reflection.
