The Mad tea party
[Alice walks in and goes to sit at the table while Hatter is staring at her.]
March Hare: NO ROOM!
Alice: Why there is plenty of room.
March Hare: There is only room for the four of us!
Mad Hatter: There is plenty of room why there is one, two, three . .
[The Mad Hatter keeps counting while the March Hare is shouting]
March Hare: Shh! There is only room for us.
[The Mad Hatter is on 20 by now]
March Hare: Don't listen to him he's mad!
Mad Hatter: You are too rabbit... [Chuckles]
Alice: I'm leaving.
Mad Hatter: Her name was Emily… no Alex… A … ALICE!
Hare she's Alice!
March Hare: What makes you think that fruit loop?
[The Mad Hatter points to Alice's hair with his spoon]
March Hare: It is Alice!
Alice: [to herself] and they did not even ask what my name was.
March Hare: Waitress there is a "HARE" in my soup!
Mad Hatter: Is it [chuckles] Blonde?
Alice: Very funny.
Mad Hatter: Your hair is to long it needs to be cut. [He pulls out scissors from his ribbon on his hat]
Alice: How rude!
Cheshire cat: I am off my tea.
Mad Hatter: [Angrily] I was just about to cut Alice's hair, Underland is falling to pieces, we're all mad, and poor Cheshire is off his tea! [He throws the scissors at Cheshire]
Cheshire: Miss.
Alice: Pardon?
Cheshire: No he missed, literally.
Alice: Can I leave now?
Mad Hatter: No! The dormouse just woke up.
Alice: So.
Cheshire: What he means is the dormouse will tell us all a story.
March Hare: please do!
Dormouse: Hold your teacups, I shall sing instead. Twinkle twinkle little skunk how I wonder if your drunk…[at that note the dormouse falls asleep]
Mad Hatter: What a shame and I wanted to know what happened to the skunk.
Alice: Now can I go?
Mad Hatter: It's may I and no we have business to discuss, come.
March Hare: The Dormouse is too big and can't fit into the teapot!
A Hatters Curse
Mad Hatter: I'm thinking of words that start with M. Have any?
Alice: Mad.
Mad Hatter: There is a reason why we brought you here you know.
Alice: Why are you mad, Hatter?
Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Alice: I don't know.
Mad Hatter: Exactly, some things must stay a riddle while others are meant to be solved. In this case it is to stay a riddle.
Alice: Why?
Mad Hatter: You ask too much.
Alice: I'm leaving.
Mad Hatter: Drink this. [He hands her a small bottle saying drink me]
Alice: Oh no not the bottle again.
Mad Hatter: Red knights!
[At him saying this Alice quickly drinks the bottle]
Mad Hatter: Heh.
Alice: I'm tiny!
Mad Hatter: [He picks her up and sets her on the brim of his hat] There now you can't leave for if you try to jump off this hat, you will die.
Alice: What about your shoulder?
Mad Hatter: Same reaction.
Alice: What about your arm?
Mad Hatter: That too. But the foot on the other hand … it will not kill you. I hope.
Alice: Cheater.
Mad Hatter: Alice you have lost your muchness.
Alice: My what!
Mad Hatter: You used to be much more muchier.
Alice: [Ignoring the Hatters quote] you still have not told me why you are mad.
Mad Hatter: And I won't. [He takes her off his hat and sets he down and walks away]
Alice: You just can not leave me here!
Mad Hatter: Yes I can [chuckles].
Alice: No you can't. I have to slay the… [Dormouse holds up card that reads "Jabberwocky".] Jabberwocky.
Mad Hatter: Wait, how did you know that?
Alice: [She looks at Dormouse holding up a flash card in the background that said "It was just a lucky guess"]
It was just a lucky guess.
Mad Hatter: Your luck won't last very long.
[Alice looks at the Dormouse and the dormouse shrugs]
Alice: Thanks a lot. You little rat!
Mad Hatter: Cat?
Dormouse: Cat!
Alice: Cat?
Cheshire: You called?
Mad Hatter: It's the cat! [Pointing to Cheshire]
Cheshire: Yes and what a lovely hat you have.
Mad Hatter: Stay away from my hat you cat. [He holds on to his hat and pulls out his pair of scissors.]
Cheshire: No matter how hard you try to kill me Hatter I will only disappear.
Alice: Do you have a bad habit of trying to kill him with scissors?
Dormouse: Rabbit?
Mad Hatter: Rabbit!
Alice: Dear god.
March Hare: spoon…
Alice: They're all back! As soon as I think I've left almost all of this Mad Tea Party they come back! That is it I'm leaving.
Mad Hatter: You can't.
Alice: Why?
Mad Hatter: [imitating Alice] You have to slay the Jabberwocky.
Alice: Can't you bring me to Salzen Grum Hatter?
Mad Hatter: Are you mad?
March Hare: No you are. [Starts laughing]
Mad Hatter: We shall take you to see the White Queen first.
Alice: Who?
The Walk….
Alice: I'm still tiny you know.
Mad Hatter: Yes and you are still on my hat.
Alice: Can I get off?
Mad Hatter: I'll give you three choices. One you could jump off and die. Two I could give you cake and let you walk for a while. Or three stay on my hat.
Alice: I'll walk.
Mad Hatter: Ok but I'm warning you, you must keep walking and it is a far, long, tiring, walk.
Alice: Just give me the cake Hatter.
[Mad Hatter gives her the cake and she eats all of it]
[Alice quickly jumps off his hat for she thought it was a beautiful hat and did not want to ruin it]
Mad Hatter: Oh dear, I'm afraid you had to much of that cake no muchness Alice.
Alice: I do look rather intimidating don't I?
Mad Hatter: Remember we must walk.
Alice: What is this? [She pulls out a card off his hat that reads 10/6]
Mad Hatter: It's a price [chuckles] to be paid.
Alice: Oh I thought it was a size.
Mad Hatter: Do you see that?
Alice: See What?
Mad Hatter: That.
Alice: Why I don't see anything you must be imagining….. HATTER!
Mad Hatter: If you see a horse, ride it.
Alice: What if its one of the Red Knights?
Mad Hatter: My dear it is white.
Alice: It's white?
Mad Hatter: As snow.
Alice: Like that lady over there?
Mad Hatter: [Happily] it's the White Queen! Well done Alice.
Alice: We must have walked farther than I thought.
White Queen: Hatter is this who I think it is?
Mad Hatter: Alice.
Alice: Yes?
White Queen: Tis is Alice. My darling we have been waiting for you.
Alice: Yeah, yeah to slay the Jabberwocky I know.
White Queen: You told her Hatter? [The Mad Hatter shakes his head no.] Then who did?
Mad Hatter: I know that's the problem she knows too much.
White Queen: This is terrible; we will never be able to make a long
Play at this rate. [She looks at the audience then at Alice then back at Hatter]
Mad Hatter: We should send her to see the Tweedles that should save us some time.
White Queen: Good idea.
Alice: Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?
Mad Hatter: Yes Alice you remember!
Alice: How could I forget?
Mad Hatter: Easily, now come.
White Queen: I wish you luck Alice!
Alice: Ha and you say my luck won't last.
Mad Hatter: Did I say that?
Alice: You know where the Tweedle's home is right?
Mad Hatter: Like I do making hats.
Alice: What's that suppose to mean?
Mad Hatter: I don't know but it sounded nice.
The Tweedle's
Alice: Are we there yet?
Mad Hatter: No.
Alice: Are we there now?
Mad Hatter: No.
Alice: Are we here?
Mad Hatter: Yes but we have to go there.
Alice: There where?
Mad Hatter: We're here.
Tweedle Dee: Is that Hatter?
Tweedle Dum: I suppose.
Tweedle Dee: What about Alice?
Tweedle Dum: Yes.
Mad Hatter: I bid you farewell Alice.
Alice: Farewell?
Mad Hatter: Goodbye.
Alice: I'll make him pay later.
Tweedle Dee: Alice do you want to here a poem.
Tweedle Dum: What lovely poems he says.
Alice: If it means to make this play longer than it already is than yes.
Tweedle Dee: Alright then. [When he starts to say the first part of the jabberwocky poem they are startled by and echo in the background.]
Echo: Twas' brilling and the slithy toves did grye and gamble in the wabe. Alice the mimsy where the borogroves and the mome raths outgrabe.
[Alice then sees a bright green eye that disappears and out comes Hatter]
Mad Hatter: [in an Irish accent] beware the Jabberwocky my son, the claws that snatch and the teeth that bite.
Tweedle Dum: That wasn't even the poem Dee was going to say.
Tweedle Dee: Yes it was.
Tweedle Dum: Then how come you didn't say it.
Tweedle Dee: Because someone else did before I got to.
Tweedle Dum: Like who?
Tweedle Dee: How should I know?
Tweedle Dum: I don't know.
Tweedle Dee: Lets blame it on Alice.
Tweedle Dum: She's still here?
Tweedle Dee: Where else would see be?
Tweedle Dum: Gone.
Tweelde Dee: Gone where?
Alice: Would you two stop that?
Mad Hatter: Stop what?
Alice: Nothing.
Mad Hatter: There is always a something to nothing.
Alice: Not for long.
PAUSE
sorry its not much but i will continue as soon as i can
Mad Hatter: There is always a something to nothing.
Alice: Not for long. ( evil thought! lol)
Mad Hatter: Alice are you okay?
Alice: Perfectly fine. ( laughs insanely )
Mad Hatter: O_o
Alice: To the White Queens Castle!
Mad Hatter: ( To the audiance ) And they think I'm crazy...
Memoreal Castle
White Queen: Did you talk to the garden lately?
Servant: No your majesty.
White Queen: You should then.
Servant: Of coarse your majesty.
White Queen: Very well then.
- Alice and the Hatter enter -
White Queen: I beleive we have guest Bayard.
Bayard: BARK!
Alice: I brought the Hatter with me.
White Queen: Why?
Alice: Nah I just brought him so he can stand over there and look pretty. I brought him to retreive the Vorpal Sword for you.
Mad Hatter: To do WHAT?
Alice: You heard me, go get it.
Mad Hatter: But..
Alice: NOW.
Mad Hatter: ok... - He leaves depressed to get the Vorpal Sword -
White Queen: You sent the Hatter? ( Starts to panic )
Alice: Shh... I have the Sword.
White Queen: - She looks at the play script - When?
Alice: When the Tweedles were arguing.
White Queen: Oh...
White Queen(continued):Oh... then why did you make him go get the sword?
Alice:Oh, ... no reason... just that I already have it :D
White Queen: Child your the best! But poor hatter D: we have to save him!
Alice: No you don't.
White Queen: Why my dear?
Alice: Why I was on his hat in chapter... 2 and 3 I put a tracking device in his hat.
White Queen: YOU DID WHAT!
- Mad Hatter enters -
Mad Hatter: Sorry Alice I couldn't find the sword and... whats that?
Alice: Oh nothing - she hides the tracking device -
White Queen: - Whispers to the Mad Hatter - She's Stalking you...
Mad Hatter: ...
PAUSE:
I wanted to write a deleted part from the story because it was to scary XD for little kids...
DELETED SCENE:
Retreiving the Vorpal Sword
Alice: Now where could it be. - She looks in the bandesnatch's house - Not him!
-she walks in slowly a mess from the last battle ( also deleted scence ) -
Bandersnatch: GRRRRR!
- Alice yanks the bandersnatch by the colar-
LISTEN YOU, I HAVE BEEN BOTHERED BY A MAD TEA PARTY THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE PLAY, WALKING WITH THAT GUY - POINTS TO HATTER, HATTER WAVES INNOCENTLY- FOR THREE HOURS WHO HAS BEEN DRIVING ME NUTS, LISTENING TO THE TWEEDLES ARGUE, TALK TO A STUPID QUEEN WHO DOESN'T KNOW HER SCRIPT VERY WELL... AND NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOU ... please stand by... SO GIVE ME THAT ... .. SWORD SO I CAN GET THIS OVER WITH! - ALICE GROWLS-
BANDERSNATCH: -whimpers-
ALICE: yay :D
UNPAUSE
(Back to the real stuff)
Mad Hatter:WHAT?(what he really should be saying:It's ok. I stalk her all the time!)
Alice: What?
White Queen: Nothing.
Alice: There is always a something to nothing.
White Queen: Come along dear.
Mad Hatter: O_o
The armor and The Sword. A map?
- Alice points to the place in the script -
White Queen: Oh. I know you have to sword.
Alice: Yep.
White Queen: Now all you need is a map.
Alice: A map!
White Queen: The map of Salazen Grumm.
Alice: Oh, that makes much more sense! -_-
White Queen: You may only find the map in a garden.
Alice: Wow, which one. All Underland is, is a garden!
White Queen: The flower garden, ask the Hatter. He should know where it is.
Alice: Okay, go on.
White Queen: There you will have to talk to the old rose.
Alice: Thats simple.
White Queen: Yes, but you must know there are weeds, bugs, and the red queen's gardeners.
Alice: Weeds? Bugs? Theres nothing to be afraid of.
White Queen: Yes, but Underland's insects and plants are very large. They can get very dangerous too.
I made up a bag full of stuff you need to get the map - she hands her the bag - oh and take this key too,
its for the chest where the map is located. If you forgot everything I said don't worry I wrote it on paper.
- the white queen ties the key on alice's neck-
White Queen: Good luck darling!
Alice: Ok wheres Hatter? And thank you!
White Queen: The Hatter? Oh he is allready outside.
