The Mad tea party

[Alice walks in and goes to sit at the table while Hatter is staring at her.]

March Hare: NO ROOM!

Alice: Why there is plenty of room.

March Hare: There is only room for the four of us!

Mad Hatter: There is plenty of room why there is one, two, three . .

[The Mad Hatter keeps counting while the March Hare is shouting]

March Hare: Shh! There is only room for us.

[The Mad Hatter is on 20 by now]

March Hare: Don't listen to him he's mad!

Mad Hatter: You are too rabbit... [Chuckles]

Alice: I'm leaving.

Mad Hatter: Her name was Emily… no Alex… A … ALICE!

Hare she's Alice!

March Hare: What makes you think that fruit loop?

[The Mad Hatter points to Alice's hair with his spoon]

March Hare: It is Alice!

Alice: [to herself] and they did not even ask what my name was.

March Hare: Waitress there is a "HARE" in my soup!

Mad Hatter: Is it [chuckles] Blonde?

Alice: Very funny.

Mad Hatter: Your hair is to long it needs to be cut. [He pulls out scissors from his ribbon on his hat]

Alice: How rude!

Cheshire cat: I am off my tea.

Mad Hatter: [Angrily] I was just about to cut Alice's hair, Underland is falling to pieces, we're all mad, and poor Cheshire is off his tea! [He throws the scissors at Cheshire]

Cheshire: Miss.

Alice: Pardon?

Cheshire: No he missed, literally.

Alice: Can I leave now?

Mad Hatter: No! The dormouse just woke up.

Alice: So.

Cheshire: What he means is the dormouse will tell us all a story.

March Hare: please do!

Dormouse: Hold your teacups, I shall sing instead. Twinkle twinkle little skunk how I wonder if your drunk…[at that note the dormouse falls asleep]

Mad Hatter: What a shame and I wanted to know what happened to the skunk.

Alice: Now can I go?

Mad Hatter: It's may I and no we have business to discuss, come.

March Hare: The Dormouse is too big and can't fit into the teapot!

A Hatters Curse

Mad Hatter: I'm thinking of words that start with M. Have any?

Alice: Mad.

Mad Hatter: There is a reason why we brought you here you know.

Alice: Why are you mad, Hatter?

Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Alice: I don't know.

Mad Hatter: Exactly, some things must stay a riddle while others are meant to be solved. In this case it is to stay a riddle.

Alice: Why?

Mad Hatter: You ask too much.

Alice: I'm leaving.

Mad Hatter: Drink this. [He hands her a small bottle saying drink me]

Alice: Oh no not the bottle again.

Mad Hatter: Red knights!

[At him saying this Alice quickly drinks the bottle]

Mad Hatter: Heh.

Alice: I'm tiny!

Mad Hatter: [He picks her up and sets her on the brim of his hat] There now you can't leave for if you try to jump off this hat, you will die.

Alice: What about your shoulder?

Mad Hatter: Same reaction.

Alice: What about your arm?

Mad Hatter: That too. But the foot on the other hand … it will not kill you. I hope.

Alice: Cheater.

Mad Hatter: Alice you have lost your muchness.

Alice: My what!

Mad Hatter: You used to be much more muchier.

Alice: [Ignoring the Hatters quote] you still have not told me why you are mad.

Mad Hatter: And I won't. [He takes her off his hat and sets he down and walks away]

Alice: You just can not leave me here!

Mad Hatter: Yes I can [chuckles].

Alice: No you can't. I have to slay the… [Dormouse holds up card that reads "Jabberwocky".] Jabberwocky.

Mad Hatter: Wait, how did you know that?

Alice: [She looks at Dormouse holding up a flash card in the background that said "It was just a lucky guess"]

It was just a lucky guess.

Mad Hatter: Your luck won't last very long.

[Alice looks at the Dormouse and the dormouse shrugs]

Alice: Thanks a lot. You little rat!

Mad Hatter: Cat?

Dormouse: Cat!

Alice: Cat?

Cheshire: You called?

Mad Hatter: It's the cat! [Pointing to Cheshire]

Cheshire: Yes and what a lovely hat you have.

Mad Hatter: Stay away from my hat you cat. [He holds on to his hat and pulls out his pair of scissors.]

Cheshire: No matter how hard you try to kill me Hatter I will only disappear.

Alice: Do you have a bad habit of trying to kill him with scissors?

Dormouse: Rabbit?

Mad Hatter: Rabbit!

Alice: Dear god.

March Hare: spoon…

Alice: They're all back! As soon as I think I've left almost all of this Mad Tea Party they come back! That is it I'm leaving.

Mad Hatter: You can't.

Alice: Why?

Mad Hatter: [imitating Alice] You have to slay the Jabberwocky.

Alice: Can't you bring me to Salzen Grum Hatter?

Mad Hatter: Are you mad?

March Hare: No you are. [Starts laughing]

Mad Hatter: We shall take you to see the White Queen first.

Alice: Who?

The Walk….

Alice: I'm still tiny you know.

Mad Hatter: Yes and you are still on my hat.

Alice: Can I get off?

Mad Hatter: I'll give you three choices. One you could jump off and die. Two I could give you cake and let you walk for a while. Or three stay on my hat.

Alice: I'll walk.

Mad Hatter: Ok but I'm warning you, you must keep walking and it is a far, long, tiring, walk.

Alice: Just give me the cake Hatter.

[Mad Hatter gives her the cake and she eats all of it]

[Alice quickly jumps off his hat for she thought it was a beautiful hat and did not want to ruin it]

Mad Hatter: Oh dear, I'm afraid you had to much of that cake no muchness Alice.

Alice: I do look rather intimidating don't I?

Mad Hatter: Remember we must walk.

Alice: What is this? [She pulls out a card off his hat that reads 10/6]

Mad Hatter: It's a price [chuckles] to be paid.

Alice: Oh I thought it was a size.

Mad Hatter: Do you see that?

Alice: See What?

Mad Hatter: That.

Alice: Why I don't see anything you must be imagining….. HATTER!

Mad Hatter: If you see a horse, ride it.

Alice: What if its one of the Red Knights?

Mad Hatter: My dear it is white.

Alice: It's white?

Mad Hatter: As snow.

Alice: Like that lady over there?

Mad Hatter: [Happily] it's the White Queen! Well done Alice.

Alice: We must have walked farther than I thought.

White Queen: Hatter is this who I think it is?

Mad Hatter: Alice.

Alice: Yes?

White Queen: Tis is Alice. My darling we have been waiting for you.

Alice: Yeah, yeah to slay the Jabberwocky I know.

White Queen: You told her Hatter? [The Mad Hatter shakes his head no.] Then who did?

Mad Hatter: I know that's the problem she knows too much.

White Queen: This is terrible; we will never be able to make a long

Play at this rate. [She looks at the audience then at Alice then back at Hatter]

Mad Hatter: We should send her to see the Tweedles that should save us some time.

White Queen: Good idea.

Alice: Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?

Mad Hatter: Yes Alice you remember!

Alice: How could I forget?

Mad Hatter: Easily, now come.

White Queen: I wish you luck Alice!

Alice: Ha and you say my luck won't last.

Mad Hatter: Did I say that?

Alice: You know where the Tweedle's home is right?

Mad Hatter: Like I do making hats.

Alice: What's that suppose to mean?

Mad Hatter: I don't know but it sounded nice.

The Tweedle's

Alice: Are we there yet?

Mad Hatter: No.

Alice: Are we there now?

Mad Hatter: No.

Alice: Are we here?

Mad Hatter: Yes but we have to go there.

Alice: There where?

Mad Hatter: We're here.

Tweedle Dee: Is that Hatter?

Tweedle Dum: I suppose.

Tweedle Dee: What about Alice?

Tweedle Dum: Yes.

Mad Hatter: I bid you farewell Alice.

Alice: Farewell?

Mad Hatter: Goodbye.

Alice: I'll make him pay later.

Tweedle Dee: Alice do you want to here a poem.

Tweedle Dum: What lovely poems he says.

Alice: If it means to make this play longer than it already is than yes.

Tweedle Dee: Alright then. [When he starts to say the first part of the jabberwocky poem they are startled by and echo in the background.]

Echo: Twas' brilling and the slithy toves did grye and gamble in the wabe. Alice the mimsy where the borogroves and the mome raths outgrabe.

[Alice then sees a bright green eye that disappears and out comes Hatter]

Mad Hatter: [in an Irish accent] beware the Jabberwocky my son, the claws that snatch and the teeth that bite.

Tweedle Dum: That wasn't even the poem Dee was going to say.

Tweedle Dee: Yes it was.

Tweedle Dum: Then how come you didn't say it.

Tweedle Dee: Because someone else did before I got to.

Tweedle Dum: Like who?

Tweedle Dee: How should I know?

Tweedle Dum: I don't know.

Tweedle Dee: Lets blame it on Alice.

Tweedle Dum: She's still here?

Tweedle Dee: Where else would see be?

Tweedle Dum: Gone.

Tweelde Dee: Gone where?

Alice: Would you two stop that?

Mad Hatter: Stop what?

Alice: Nothing.

Mad Hatter: There is always a something to nothing.

Alice: Not for long.

PAUSE

sorry its not much but i will continue as soon as i can

Mad Hatter: There is always a something to nothing.

Alice: Not for long. ( evil thought! lol)
Mad Hatter: Alice are you okay?

Alice: Perfectly fine. ( laughs insanely )

Mad Hatter: O_o

Alice: To the White Queens Castle!

Mad Hatter: ( To the audiance ) And they think I'm crazy...

Memoreal Castle

White Queen: Did you talk to the garden lately?

Servant: No your majesty.

White Queen: You should then.

Servant: Of coarse your majesty.

White Queen: Very well then.

- Alice and the Hatter enter -

White Queen: I beleive we have guest Bayard.

Bayard: BARK!

Alice: I brought the Hatter with me.

White Queen: Why?

Alice: Nah I just brought him so he can stand over there and look pretty. I brought him to retreive the Vorpal Sword for you.

Mad Hatter: To do WHAT?

Alice: You heard me, go get it.

Mad Hatter: But..

Alice: NOW.

Mad Hatter: ok... - He leaves depressed to get the Vorpal Sword -

White Queen: You sent the Hatter? ( Starts to panic )

Alice: Shh... I have the Sword.

White Queen: - She looks at the play script - When?

Alice: When the Tweedles were arguing.

White Queen: Oh...

White Queen(continued):Oh... then why did you make him go get the sword?

Alice:Oh, ... no reason... just that I already have it :D

White Queen: Child your the best! But poor hatter D: we have to save him!

Alice: No you don't.

White Queen: Why my dear?

Alice: Why I was on his hat in chapter... 2 and 3 I put a tracking device in his hat.

White Queen: YOU DID WHAT!

- Mad Hatter enters -

Mad Hatter: Sorry Alice I couldn't find the sword and... whats that?

Alice: Oh nothing - she hides the tracking device -

White Queen: - Whispers to the Mad Hatter - She's Stalking you...

Mad Hatter: ...

PAUSE:

I wanted to write a deleted part from the story because it was to scary XD for little kids...

DELETED SCENE:

Retreiving the Vorpal Sword

Alice: Now where could it be. - She looks in the bandesnatch's house - Not him!

-she walks in slowly a mess from the last battle ( also deleted scence ) -

Bandersnatch: GRRRRR!

- Alice yanks the bandersnatch by the colar-

LISTEN YOU, I HAVE BEEN BOTHERED BY A MAD TEA PARTY THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE PLAY, WALKING WITH THAT GUY - POINTS TO HATTER, HATTER WAVES INNOCENTLY- FOR THREE HOURS WHO HAS BEEN DRIVING ME NUTS, LISTENING TO THE TWEEDLES ARGUE, TALK TO A STUPID QUEEN WHO DOESN'T KNOW HER SCRIPT VERY WELL... AND NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOU ... please stand by... SO GIVE ME THAT ... .. SWORD SO I CAN GET THIS OVER WITH! - ALICE GROWLS-

BANDERSNATCH: -whimpers-

ALICE: yay :D

UNPAUSE

(Back to the real stuff)

Mad Hatter:WHAT?(what he really should be saying:It's ok. I stalk her all the time!)

Alice: What?

White Queen: Nothing.

Alice: There is always a something to nothing.

White Queen: Come along dear.

Mad Hatter: O_o

The armor and The Sword. A map?

- Alice points to the place in the script -

White Queen: Oh. I know you have to sword.

Alice: Yep.

White Queen: Now all you need is a map.

Alice: A map!

White Queen: The map of Salazen Grumm.

Alice: Oh, that makes much more sense! -_-

White Queen: You may only find the map in a garden.

Alice: Wow, which one. All Underland is, is a garden!

White Queen: The flower garden, ask the Hatter. He should know where it is.

Alice: Okay, go on.

White Queen: There you will have to talk to the old rose.

Alice: Thats simple.

White Queen: Yes, but you must know there are weeds, bugs, and the red queen's gardeners.

Alice: Weeds? Bugs? Theres nothing to be afraid of.

White Queen: Yes, but Underland's insects and plants are very large. They can get very dangerous too.
I made up a bag full of stuff you need to get the map - she hands her the bag - oh and take this key too,
its for the chest where the map is located. If you forgot everything I said don't worry I wrote it on paper.

- the white queen ties the key on alice's neck-

White Queen: Good luck darling!

Alice: Ok wheres Hatter? And thank you!

White Queen: The Hatter? Oh he is allready outside.