Hi people! This is my first fanfic so please don't be to harsh and start flaming me in the reviews. Enjoy! n.n

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or lizards. And I don't own Ayumi (Elric), that's my sister.

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One day in the desert there was a lizard. But not just any lizard, oh no. This lizard was an iguana! With the most wonderful-ist coat in the universe! This day it was strutting its stuff down the street. All the other male animals were jealous, and all the females were falling over themselves in fangirly-ness.

Then the iguana did what no iguana dared to do. Dun dun duuuuun! Cross the street, this is very dangerous because there are trucks that will always pass by and KILL THEM! MWAHAHAHA!

So, he looked both ways and walked into the street. Then, a honk. A truck came. A Pathfinder. And then, the iguana thought its light was over. He saw his life flash before him, ahh, the flashbacks.

Flashback:

Iguana was sitting on a rock. Then a bug passed by. His tongue flicked out and he ate the bug.

Flashback ended

Damn. My life sucked. The iguana pondered. And then, the truck drove over him. Cuz the iguana was too small to get hit so the truck went right over him. Phew, my life is saved!

Then out of nowhere, a monster truck squishes him! There were guts all over the road. And then, unexpectedly, the iguana turned into ENVY!

Then the guy from Robot Chicken who saw the whole thing said "What a twist!"

Al comes back from his Pathfinder and sees Envy all dead and stuff, mwahaha. Then Ed comes out of his monster truck. "Brother, what did you do?!" Al yelled.

"Mwahahahahaha! I'm not your brother!" Ed laughed in an evil accent. "I'm actually…" He transformed in a shiny white light. "Envy!!!!"

"Gasp!" Al gasped. "Then…who's that?" He pointed to the corpse. Velma from Scooby Doo walked over. "Jinkies!" Then, Fred, who yes had just walked over, unmasked the dead Envy. And then, it was Ed actually. I don't know how that happened, it just did.

"What a twist!" The what a twist guy said.

"NUUUUU!!!" Ayumi cried, poofing into the scene and sobbing on Ed's chest. "ED, WHY!!!"

"ENVYYYY! She yelled, pulling out a bazooka. But Envy wasn't there, instead was a mini palm tree plushie shaped bomb. Ayumi blinked a couple of times before realizing the mask was lit. "RUN!!!!!" She screamed. But it was too late.

The bomb exploded. And milk exploded from it and got into Ayumi's mouth cuz she was screaming and stuff; Ayumi passed out into a twitchy fit.

"What a twist!" Said What a twist.

"Oh no! We have to end the chapter now!" Al suddenly gasped.

"Whaaaaat a twist!"

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Okay, guys! Please review, hope you likey! Read The Fanfiction Guide to Fullmetal Fanfiction, cuz it's really good! It's helping me learn how to write right now. It's by Ayumi Elric (hi sissy!)

-Rei