I'm not emotionless. I have emotions, I have feelings, and I care about things too. I'm not what everyone thinks I am, or what they assume I am.
I'm the least bubbly person. Alice…she definitely beats me on that. I never know how to express my emotions, yet I'm not completely void of them either. I just, often find it awkward to run around hugging everyone I know.
Everything is just adding up, it's pushing me over the edge, and I'm so scared. I don't want to completely lose my mind. I have so much to live for…but then I don't. I'm a vampire! I can't have children, I can't…I just can't do so many things.
I don't have any option but to…
Rosalie flung herself onto her bed. She didn't want to do it…but she had to. She felt the tears coming on, and tried to steel herself against them. She felt her muscles tightening from the strain of trying not to cry.
What had led up to this? That she was willing to go so far? Rosalie shook her head, trying to clear it of all her morbid thoughts. She needed to remember why she was willing to do this; she couldn't remember what she had to live for.
"That…that was just the sweetest thing I have ever seen, but also the saddest." Alice wept, after finishing up the Titanic.
Rosalie shrugged. It was sad, and sweet, but not enough for her to cry over.
Alice glared at Rose. "You horrible person! How would you react if you had to leave Emmett? Or if Emmett died? I bet you wouldn't even cry if he did" She finished harshly.
Rosalie stared at her unblinkingly, determined not to let her emotions show. She wasn't about to let Alice see how horrible she had made her feel. If Emmett died…she couldn't even bear thinking about it. It was too horrible a thought. She decided to just shrug again, to try to act like she didn't care. Rosalie then got up off of the couch and went upstairs.
This was where she was now, lying on her bed, thinking about how no one wanted her around. How she just completely ruined everything, how she showed no emotion and how she was such a "horrible person".
If only, they knew how hard it hit her, when they laughed at her. How bad it hurt, when they called her names, and accused her of being emotionless. They were wrong, but they would never know, she would never tell them. Rosalie laughed bitterly, without humor. Let them feel guilty for what was going to happen.
"Man! Emmett, dude, how can you handle Rosalie? She is a vampire…which totally puts me off." Paul laughed, before continuing. "And, she is a heartless bitch at that."
Rosalie was close enough to hear their conversation, but they evidently still didn't realize she was there. She waited to hear what Emmett would say, waited to hear his voice defend her. Nothing could ever describe her disappointment when he didn't defend her, but instead just laughed along.
She slumped against a tree, and tried to let the tears fall. They wouldn't fall though. She was a vampire, and vampires couldn't cry. At least that had been Rosalie's experience, whenever she wanted to cry. The tears would never come, and she could never fully express her sorrow.
The tears came now though, which astonished Rosalie, but she didn't try to stop them. Those had only been two instances that had led up to her deciding to end her misery. Emmett laughing with Paul, Paul of all people, had been the last straw. She had loved Emmett with her whole heart, and had never held anything back. But he just goes and laughs along with a werewolf, at his wife's expense. She let the tears flow endlessly down her beautiful porcelain face. She didn't care that it ruined her mascara, and that the rest of her makeup was all over the place. Actually at this point, she just didn't care. She didn't care that she was a mess, she didn't care about anything.
Rosalie's mind was in such a downwards spiral, that she didn't hear the bedroom door creak open.
Emmett crept in, and quickly sat down on the bed next to Rosalie.
"What's wrong, Rose?"
Rosalie turned slowly to face him, her face a horrifying disaster. She stared at him astonished that he could be so thickheaded at times, especially at times like this. "Why do you think? You meant so much to me! I never kept anything back, I was myself around you!" She stopped abruptly, when she realized that she was screaming. "You, you laughed along with Paul, when he called me a heartless bitch." Her voice betrayed herself, allowing the hurt to show itself.
Emmett stared at her uncomprehendingly, before finally catching onto what she was talking about. He shook his head, laughing, before stopping when he saw Rosalie's face. "We were playing a game. We were trying to insult the other's wife or fiancée, to see who would get mad first. I won, because I didn't get mad…but I got back at him later." He caught Rose's face in his hand, when she tried to turn away. "You mean more to me than you can ever imagine. Your smile lights up my day, and your laugh just makes me so much happier that I am with you, forever. I would never for a second think of you like that. You just walked into the conversation at the wrong moment." Emmett told Rosalie with such emotion and strength, that Rosalie couldn't help but believe him. He smiled, wiping away her tears.
"This doesn't mean anything, Rosalie." She told herself, trying to remain convinced that ending her life was the right choice, but it was difficult, especially when Emmett had just professed his love with such deep passion.
"I'm weak, and a horrible person." Rosalie replied sullenly.
"No, no you're not! You are the strongest person I know, or that I have ever known. You are also the most wonderful person I know. And…not that bad in bed, either." Emmett winked suggestively.
Rosalie couldn't help but laugh at that. She punched Emmett in the shoulder, before settling her head in the crook of his neck. "I love you so much." She sighed, before closing her eyes.
Emmett stared at her in wonder, amazed that she had kept all her emotions in check for so long. "My wife is the strongest person I have ever known." He smiled slightly before putting his head against Rosalie's.
Rosalie smiled dreamily in her sleep. Emmett made her feel loved, special and wanted. He understood her in a way, which no one else could. Edward, even though he could read her thoughts day and night, didn't understand her anywhere close to how Emmett understood her. She was glad that Emmett had interrupted her from ending her life. Now she could spend forever with him, and he would always be there to wipe away her tears.
