Characters: Elizabeth, Sebastian, Mey-Rin, Bard, Tanaka, Finny
Genre: Tragedy, drama
A/N: Not a SebastianxLizzie fic, but I doubt this fic is without its implications. Hell, most everything can have implications for anything if you look hard enough. Keep in mind that Lizzie is older in this fic. I hope this fic isn't too confusing too. xD Sorry for being OOC, do not own, disclaimer stuff, yadda yadda yadda, oh, and reviews are great and I'd love you forever if you leave one. :D Doesn't have to be anything too special. xD
Other: Originally meant to be a chapter of Kuroshitsuji Shorts, but as I said, if I find it too long and better as a stand-alone one-shot, then I'll publish it separately :D
Loud wails of pain and sobs of despair rose up from the group of mourners surrounding the pale corpse of the boy who had once been both a great earl and a powerful member of the underworld. Even in death, Ciel's still expression seemed haughty, but at least it also appeared that he was content, wherever he was now. After discovering his (not strictly speaking legal) activities in the criminal underground, Lizzie liked to think that Ciel was exploring the real underworld right now, probably living like a king as he would have taken over long ago. Imagining him going to heaven was much preferred, but real life had stolen away much of Lizzie's naivety, and she had grown weary of lying to herself.
The elegant eye patch no longer obstructed his two eternally closed eyes from view. When Sebastian gently untied and removed the eye patch from Ciel's lone eye, Lizzie braced herself for the worst. She was afraid of what she might find and felt guilty for peeking at this part of Ciel's life that he had always been so defensive about, but she wanted to embrace and see for herself every part of her fiancé, no matter how grotesque. Imagine her surprise when instead of being met with mutilated flesh and scars, the eye underneath was identical to the other one. She held back tears that she seemed unable to stop from shedding at the painful sight of Ciel. Through eyes red and glazed over from the force of her grief, she looked up at Sebastian, confused. Sebastian smiled and put a finger to his lips, as if he were about to let her in on some great secret. For the smallest of moments, Lizzie could have sworn that she saw the butler's eyes glow with an inhuman fire, a monstrously callous thirst for blood.
"Sebastian…?" Lizzie shrank under Sebastian's intense gaze, feeling herself turn red under the servant's innapropriately ravenous stare. She tried to look away. He took a few slow steps towards her, the sudden but languid burst of determination marking his footsteps giving her an uncomfortable sense of foreboding. He stopped before her; the same scarily indescribable expression on his face that she had thought could only be her mind playing tricks on her. Sebastian had never seemed quite so tall to her before. She had never really paid any attention to their great difference in height, but now here he was, towering over her like some lofty, pallid…demon. Shame on you! She chided herself. Sebastian has been nothing but kind and loyal ever since the day we met.
The butler smiled, as if he could sense her thoughts, and leaned over almost conspiratorially. His voice lowered to a whisper, the hushed tones enveloping everything, as if the sweet cadence of his voice was the only thing that mattered in this world. "Wouldn't you like to join your fiancé? To reunite with him? There's nothing for you here." His deep voice washed over her like liquescent silk, hypnotizing her, putting her into a momentary trance as she swayed uncertainly. His words numbed her, but in an ever so dangerously pleasant way. Somehow, the shocking words that were not matching up to the trustworthy servant she had always known came as no surprise. The way he said it made everything feel natural, like there was absolutely nothing odd, wrong, or fearful about what he was suggesting.
For the life of her, she could not understand why she had suddenly lost all control of her limbs, just mutely standing there and letting Sebastian whisper these unpardonable nothings to her. But his out of character behavior was just so shocking and the way he took advantage of her weaknesses was just so admirable. Admirable, a word carrying positive connotations, was not one that seemed fitting, but there was just no other way to describe the delicate skillfulness of this moment.
"You can be with your love for all eternity….All you need to do is-"
Everything went fuzzy. His image faded in and out before her eyes, the only thing remaining burned into the back of her eyelids was that devious mouth that never ceased to talk curved into a Machiavellian grin. His words were muffled to her ears, and her head fluctuated with ambivalent feelings and temperatures, as if she were in a never-ending cycle of fainting and then reawaking over and over again.
Sebastian finally pulled back, looking down on Elizabeth with the usual polite smile she had always venerated. He hadn't stopped talking, that much was for sure, but she could still hear no words, any cordial speech or conversation he was trying to have with her like indistinct ripples upon her deafened visage. All at once, all hearing came back, and she gasped for air, finding the simple task of breathing very difficult all of a sudden. "What are you- what do you mean?" I need to calm down. Sebastian would never do anything to hurt me. She started to convince herself more and more that she was right, that this was all just one big misunderstanding, one gross overreaction on her part. With the impact she knew Ciel's death had had on her, she was almost able to completely persuade herself of this falsehood, but it was too difficult to think otherwise with Sebastian murmuring dangerously potent words in his proper, low intonation.
"I'll even take you in the same way, just for you. I'll tear your precious innocence from the very bones of your body. I'll steal you away…yes, your soul will be-" He droned on, his image softening around the edges and distorting until there was nothing but a core of black and words too excruciating to bear. Sebastian willed Elizabeth to break, shattering her will and letting the flimsy walls that she had put in place around her heart crumble away, leaving her delectable soul bare for all to see, but only for him to taste.
"N-no! What are you saying?!" She didn't know when she had finally come to her senses, but when she did, she backtracked rapidly. She stared, horrified at how close he had been, how his words had held so much power over her. She burned with shame when she remembered his even breaths against her fair cheek, his ebony hair brushing against her face, his bewitchingly unrecognizable scent making her head spin. "What have you done….?" She inhaled and exhaled shakily.
Sebastian tilted his head, emulating the picture-perfect image of impeccable, innocent, clueless butler. "Why my lady, I'm afraid that I have no earthly idea of what you are referring to. You have my sincerest apologies if I have said anything to upset you." He frowned, hurt look hungering for forgiveness spreading across his face.
"Wait – S-Sebastian, what did you say?" Elizabeth asked, now even more confused and disoriented then before, if that were possible.
"I was merely offering an extension to your stay here at the Phantomhive Manor." Sebastian promptly replied. "The young master may no longer be around, but you are always welcome here, my lady. I hope you are aware of this," he added in a softer, gentler manner, obviously trying to be considerate towards her and not overstep any boundaries.
"Oh. Yes. Of…course…." She gaped at this response, the stinging prick at the corner of her eyes only able to be identified as tears. Overwhelmed, Lizzie stumbled away, not bothering to bid the butler good bye or explain her sudden departure. As often as she cried, letting herself break down in front of Sebastian (for some strange reason) was something she could not bring herself to do.
Sebastian gazed after her retreating form, grim expression revealing itself at her exodus.
Elizabeth didn't see Sebastian for the rest of that day. She wasn't sure if that was a relief or if it made her feel even more frightened. She wouldn't even know where to begin if she ran into him again. Her anxiety and paranoia had increased tremendously from just that morning, and it was all still building up, plaguing her like a lone disease that only she contained.
Her pace quickened as she practically raced down the hall, her head swerving side to side frantically as she searched for her room. Why are these damn halls so long? When did this house get so big? She thought she could hear Sebastian, still whispering in her ear, but his voice would then morph into Ciel's smooth, subdued timbre. I shouldn't be thinking such lewd thoughts…it's not proper…. She pressed her hands down tight over her head, almost as if she were afraid that the mephitic images in her mind would somehow make its way out of her brain and into the air as spoken words that she dare not ever repeat aloud. She ran blindly still, afraid to turn, fearing who she might come face to face with. Or perhaps she was afraid that the being she would see would be some strange, conjured figment of her imagination, for she no longer knew what was real and what was imaginary anymore thanks to the overwhelming phantasmagorias of her beloved and his hell of a butler clouding her mind.
"A-are you alright, Miss?"
Lizzie looked up, shocked out of her reverie. She had run straight into Mey-Rin, who stared back down at her through her comically large glasses. "What?" Lizzie's voice cracked as she forced the word out.
"I'm very sorry, Lady Elizabeth, yes I am! It was all my fault! I was so busy dusting the furniture that I didn't even notice! Please forgive me!" Mey-Rin waved her feather duster around in agitation, working herself up into quite a frenzy as she quickly backed away from Elizabeth. She reached a trembling hand out, not daring to touch her late master's fiancé despite her irrational fear that she might have hurt said fiancé in some way.
"I'm fine, don't worry." Lizzie worked up a sick smile, the corners of her mouth turned up unnaturally as she forced herself to appear satisfactory, all to soothe the panicking English maid.
"Are you sure?" Mey-Rin bit her lip, not completely buying it.
"I said I'm fine!" Lizzie all but snapped. She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. This was not like her at all. Ashamed, she turned, not letting the maid see her horrified expression. She breathed in deeply, moving her hands down to grasp the thick fabric of her skirt as she counted to ten. Her clenched fists were obscured by the extravagant black bustle of her mourning gown, and it was a while before she dared to exhale.
Nothing but silence met her outburst. Lizzie could feel Mey-Rin's presence still behind her though, probably stunned into immobility.
Needing to break the silence, which was almost as alarming as the noise had been, Lizzie ventured, "Say…Mey-Rin. Has Sebastian been…displaying any odd behavior lately? Has he ever done anything…out of the ordinary in the past?" She surprised herself by maintaining a rather calm, composed front, though she found herself having a little difficulty with the exact wording of her questions.
Mey-Rin tilted her head, not having expected this turn of conversation. If she was going to comment on Elizabeth's uncalled for anger she didn't show it. "Eh? No, Ma'am, Mr. Sebastian's always been a right proper gentlemen. He's been a bit distant lately, but I think it's 'cause he's still sad over…th-the, um, the young master's passing away. He never lets himself get too sad or upset in front of us though…. That's our Mr. Sebastian, always looking out for us…." Mey-Rin tried her best to shy away from the topic of Ciel's death, not wanting to be too insensitive. She found herself getting carried away in her reply to Elizabeth's question, a blush spreading across her face as she thought of all the wonderful things Sebastian had done for them.
Elizabeth thought she was going to be ill, despite the fact that these opinions of the butler's character used to mirror her own. She had no idea when she had started thinking differently, but she now realized one thing: she was beginning to resent the upper servant of Phantomhive. Such kind words are not fitting for such an undeserving, cold, sadistic…beautiful creature. "Thank you. That will be all." Without turning, Elizabeth dismissed herself, resolutely keeping her footfalls down the corridor steady.
Mey-Rin could only gaze after the widow that almost was, worried thoughts piercing her dim intellect.
Over the next few days, Lizzie managed to corner each and every Phantomhive servant (excluding Sebastian, of course) to ask them about the cryptic butler. Much to her dismay, not much was known about Sebastian, and her qualms were only confirmed each and every time. Baldroy thought Sebastian was a bit too uptight and Tanaka thought that Ciel had been too close to his manservant, but all in all, everyone (especially Finnian) found Sebastian to be a decent person, the very thing that he was most definitely not. No one found him the least bit suspicious. Only Elizabeth had had a glimpse at Sebastian's true disposition. Did Ciel know? Yes, he probably did.
She had never felt so alone. The harder she struggled to tear away the fetters keeping her from reaching the truth, the further away she seemed to distance herself from others and the empathy she had thought she'd always harbored for them. Perhaps that's why humans often prefer to be left in the dark, for only the brave few choose to venture into the blinding light, and once you're at the top and faced with painful, beautiful truth, you can find yourself free, but also completely and utterly alone.
Many times, she would reprimand herself for thinking such low thoughts about Ciel's trusted servant, and on even more occasions she considered that perhaps she had gone mad and was simply imagining the entire thing, but she could never forget the dark butler, and she was fairly certain Sebastian recognized this.
She never saw the man –oh no, that would make things much too simple- but she could always sense his presence. She was convinced that Sebastian was doing everything on purpose. Making the guest bedroom that she was staying in a tad too perfect, her meals too fake in that aesthetically pleasing way, the treatment she received too prodigiously polite to be normal. Everywhere she went, there was Sebastian's mark, inescapable and omnipresent.
One day, these contemplations built up and up until she came to the conclusion that Ciel was murdered by Sebastian without a doubt, and that that morning with the butler – No, demon, let's tell the actual truth for once now- was not just a dream. She was astonished – astonished that she did not find this supposition surprising in the slightest.
Her thought process continued its insane journey, never stopping now that her safe guards had been torn apart. She was dancing on that slippery slope, never noticing how far gone she had become from that vivacious little thing she had once been until it was too late, and she was over the edge and hurtling towards the bloody end. I know…. What do I know? I know that Ciel was murdered by Sebastian. I know that I love Ciel. I know that…blood has already been shed. What's a little more blood to a lusting demon? I'll be with him. I'll give in.
She was taking the easy path.
My mother would be ashamed of me. Last thoughts of her family swirled around, but she threw those away, almost as easily as her own life and soul which she was so carelessly toying with. I wonder if they'll cry at my funeral, she contemplated somewhere in the back of her mind.
Elizabeth looked up at the stars from her bedroom window, her eyes overcast and filled with an unnatural lack of light, perhaps from the peaceful state of acceptance she was in, or perhaps from the mind deadening stupor that one would be put in if one were in her position. The strangely joyful tune of a record player clashed with the solemn atmosphere. It was perpetually stuck on the last song that she and Ciel had danced to.
She was so caught up in her memories that she didn't notice Sebastian was in the room until she happened to look up. She wasn't entirely sure how he could have gotten in without anyone else detecting him, but she was beyond being surprised by this fiend. "Don't you know it's improper to enter a lady's chambers at this time of night?" She inquired coldly, wondering at herself why she was entertaining the demon instead of getting straight to the point. The reason feasibly being that she had no idea what the point was anymore. It felt like something was going to happen, but what exactly, she could not foretell.
"Forgive me, my lady." Sebastian offered a mockingly low bow, his lips twisting into that icy cruel sneer. While such an expression would normally taint such a striking face, it only seemed to augment the crafted beauty of the demonic slave. For that's what he was, a slave to the souls he desires.
How droll.
"Do it." Elizabeth stared straight ahead, trying to hide the trembling in her voice and limbs through a show of confidence.
Sebastian closed his eyes and breathed in the delicate aroma of this young woman's soul, finally his for the taking. "Yes, my lady."
"Ciel…." Elizabeth unintentionally sighed, her eyes fluttering shut as her mind wandered to another place, another time.
"His last thoughts were of you," Sebastian informed, his tone of voice tinged with the faint but easily discernible inflection of regret. He didn't know why he bothered to try to be consoling at this particular point, but he felt like it was his duty somehow. Perhaps being around humans for so long had turned him soft.
"Mhm. That's nice." Lizzie smiled serenely as she relaxed back against her chair.
"I shall endeavor to be gentle." Sebastian hollowly echoed the words he had spoken to Ciel before he had consumed his soul. Elizabeth didn't respond. Sebastian paused, realization flooding the gateways of his faintly humanized mind. Perturbed, he realized too late just how much he missed the burning pride that had made his young master such an enthralling soul to be around. The way he elegantly exuded self-confidence, the contradicting quirks that made him unique, the expert power he wielded over the pawns in his possession that almost made Ciel more demon than human. But it was too late.
With great pleasure, Sebastian leaned in, taking delight in the tortured screams the girl emitted. "Now then, my fair lady."
