Remembrance

By: Phoenix Shae

DISCLAIMER: Xena, Warrior Princess and the like do not belong to me. No profit is being made from the production of this story; it is strictly for reading enjoyment.

(a/n: This one-shot takes place after FIN. It's my first attempt at any sort of X:WP fanfiction, so please be nice!)

Today is a beautiful day; through everything that has happened, it surprises me that I find anything beautiful. But the sun greets me, brilliantly piercing the flaming pink morning sky, the birds are singing sweetly, and a cool, refreshing breeze caresses my face as I awaken.

I am better now, or as close to better as I ever can be. I fear that my broken heart will never fully mend, but finally my mind has found some solace; that's enough for now. I breathe in the fresh, crisp morning air and face the day, albeit somewhat regretfully, as it has met me.

I walk my path alone now, although I realize that I will never truly be alone. Death has a strange way of affecting life; knowingly, it leaves a void which can never be filled. Death is no stranger to me; however, I wish that we had yet to meet. With time, Death learns the tricks we humans try to play, and we may only escape its icy fingers so many times before we must succumb.

I've found that good-byes are always difficult but even more so when you know that you will never again in that lifetime see that person. Still, good-bye is not final. I take courage in knowing that this life is only temporary and that there is another where the other half of my soul awaits me once more. I also find comfort in knowing that I have walked this path before, even though I don't remember it, but it frightens me to know that I may have to walk it again. What was will once more be; I know that. But it still doesn't make it any easier to fall asleep at night.

Still, I know that true courage is perseverance despite fear. Strangely enough, my real worry is that I will lose the person I've fought to become. It seems as though just when I thought I'd found who I was meant to be, my realizations were jolted and my certainty was made unsure. It seems as though I must rediscover myself and grow as time changes circumstances. I have been a warrior, a bard, a friend. I have been a sister, a daughter, a wife, a mother, a queen. I have been a misplaced little girl who was taken under the wing of a great warrior princess and given a path to follow. Now I find myself again feeling very much like the lost little girl I once was.

But, despite everything, I would do it all again because what I lost was worth having while it lasted. I cherished and despised; I laughed and cried; I found war and peace; I saw life and death. But most importantly, I lived and loved with all I had. No matter what happens now, I still hold tightly to the memories of the life and people I held so dearly.

And so I press onward, unafraid to face whatever obstacles lie ahead, because I know that I will not have to face them alone. I carry with me the spirits of those I have loved, and their bravery, virtue, and love will be my guide. I continue my journey as a song of heroes I have known; I am strong enough to let go, yet I am strong enough to hold on and to remember.

So I sing of thee, now-silent hero,

Whose bravery hath unfurled.

And of thee shall be remembered,

Thy courage hath changed the world.