Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If it was you wouldn't be reading this because I suck at writing and Harry Potter would have never been published. All hail JK and Jesus. (Johnny Damon of course)

Authors Note: some of you might remember me putting this story up a couple of years ago. I vowed to finish it before I turned 14. Well guess what? I'm now 16, and in my absence another HP book was published and I never got passed chapter 3. Well here is the updated chapter 1, and I hereby solemnly swear to finish this story before I turn 17 (hehehe…)

The TRUTH About Hermione

CHAPTER 1

Goodbye Good-Girl

It was a week before Halloween in Harry, Ron, and Hermione's sixth year at that extraordinary school of witchcraft and wizardry that we all love so much… uh no not Durmstrang, Hogwarts you numskull. Anyways, they were all rather happy. There was no news of good old Voldie… but there had been a strange increase in squirrel homicide and muffin thefts but no one seemed to care, not even me 'cause this sad excuse for a fan fiction isn't about baked goods and dead mammals.(COMING SOON! The Hardy Boyz and the Mystery of the Missing Muffins and the Mutilated Mammals)

Hermione had come back from the summer holidays, for lack of a better term, a total fucking hottie. Several of Hogwarts' male occupants had noticed. Ron had been staring at her with his mouth open drooling more often then he did the year before which in itself was a large amount of time. Since the Wizarding Health class the sixth years had been forced to take at the beginning of the year, she had been acting rather strange. She had skipped several meals and was seen disappearing down dark corridors and returning with her hair all askew and her shirt only half buttoned. Most disturbing of all she only studied four hours a day instead of her usual six and had gotten only 92 on a quiz. Harry noticed this and was starting to get worried about her. Hermione was like a sister to him. Ron would have been to, but he was to busy staring at her chest. Not that you could blame the guy… I mean damn it's nice…

Now Harry wasn't stupid. Not being able to find Canada on a map of North America could happen to any one. What Hermione was up to was about as obvious as a pro wrestler trying to hide amongst 4th grade catholic school girls (heh heh… Kane in a skirt…). This scared him. To think that Hermione, the stereotypical goodie two shoes was doing such things. It would have scared Ron to, but let's face it, even when he wasn't ogling Hermione, Ron never was the brightest tool in the shed.

Hermione had just left dinner after barely eating for the second time that week when Harry decided to take some action. "Ron?" Harry asked. "Have you noticed Hermione has been acting rather odd lately?"

"No, not really." Answered Ron, contemplating the physics of jell-o.

"Well of course you haven't. You've been to busy ogling her since we saw her at Kings' Cross."

"Yeah well it's not my fault she- wait… you weren't just insinuating that i'm head over heels ass-backwards in love with her were you?! HUH PUNK WERE YOU?!" said Ron menacingly while he grabbed his butter knife. By this time the entire Great Hall was staring at them. Except Seamus who was chancing a peek at Dean's ass.

"Err… of course not Ron… just put down the butter knife…" Harry said, fear evident in his voice.

"Good 'cause if you were…" Ron said, giving Harry a dangerous look.

After confiscating all of Ron's utensils he continued. "Hermione has been acting rather strange lately don't you think? Skipping meals, going into dark corridors and coming back with her hair all askew and her shirt only half buttoned." At the last part Ron's eyes started to glaze over like a child on Christmas morning. "You know, sometimes I worry about your mental health Ron…" Ron did not look happy about that comment. Harry held his fork close, just incase Ron was in one of those moods…

"You know, now that I think about it she has been acting odd. She has only been studying for four hours a day instead of six… and that 92. On a Quiz, One for Transfiguration. That's just not like Hermione. Your right Harry, but what do you think is wrong with her? Is she sick? Do you think it has anything to do with those dead squirrels we found? Or…"Ron whispered "him?" Ron asked frantically, gesturing off to his right.

"Malfoy?" Harry asked.

"No,Seamus… I think he's gay…" Ron said, cautiously.

"Okay… anyways… Well if I'm not mistaken…" Harry began. "I think Hermione has been engaging in certain 'extracurricular' activities"

"What like Quidditch or something?" asked Ron, a confused look on his face.

"Ron you dolt, do I have to spell everything out for you?" Harry exclaimed.

"Probably" Ron said thoughtfully.

"Why do I even bother with him?" Harry asked himself. "Hermione has been sleeping around Ron! Doing it with every Tom, Dick, and Harry who comes up!"

This seemed to gotten some of the point across to Ron. "M-my Mione? A-a-a scarlet women? E-every Tom, Dick and… and… HARRY?!?!?!?!?" In the blink of an eye Ron's expression had changed from one of shock to one of extreme fury. Ron grabbed his butter knife stood up and yanked Harry out of his seat and held the butter knife to Harry's neck. "YOU… YOU SLEPT WITH HERMIONE DIDN'T YOU?!?!?!?!? WELL?!?!? WELL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?".

Harry nearly wet himself. "Er… of… of… course not Ron… I-i-it was just an expression…" Harry said in a small voice.

"WELL YOU BETTER NOT HAVE!!!!!!!" Ron bellowed. "BECAUSE IF YOU DID, I WILL END YOUR EXISTENSE MISTER BOY WHO LIVED THEN GOT A BUTTERKNIFE SO FAR UP HIS ASS HE COULD TASTE THE BUTTERY GOODNESS!"

Harry really did wet himself that time. "Come on Ron…l-l-lets not jump to conclusions… put down the butter knife…"

Later in the Common Room after Ron had calmed down and Harry had changed his robes, the two were discussing What to do about Hermione. "You sure your not mistaken? I mean there was that time with Canada and that map and the time you thought Ginny was stealing your clothes and that thing about Draco Malfoy and the 'Mole Man' and-"

"Alright alright so I have been wrong before but I'm not wrong this time, Ron."

"…And when we were at that party and-"

"Ron, I already told you… someone spiked my butter beer, and you swore a vow of silence…" Harry reminded the red-headed wonder.

"True… so what do you propose my pot-headed friend?"

"Well I say we- oh hello Hermione where have you been?" Hermione had just walked in the Common Room, and as usual (or unusual actually…) her hair was askew and her shirt only half buttoned. The child-on-Christmas look had returned to Ron's face again.

"Oh nowhere, just the library." She said.

"But we checked the library. Five times." Said Ron worriedly.

" Oh… well you must not have looked hard enough then." said Hermione nervously. "I'm going to bed, I'm tired."

"I bet you are…" Harry said quietly as she said goodnight and nervously walked up to the Girls' dormitories. He turned to Ron. "Tomorrow we follow her." Ron nodded blankly at were she had just stood.

Authors Note: There goes Chapter 1 v. 2.0. Hope you liked it. Please review. If you don't, I might just cry… sniffle