Our story opens at the Trade Federation Battleship orbitting Naboo...
Obi-wan: "I have a bad feeling about this."
Qui-gon: "I know what you mean. We shouldn't have had that chilli dip at the cast party."
*A battle droid enters the room*
Droid: "Freeze, Jedi!"
Obi-wan: "What the hell is that?"
Droid: "I am a battle droid of the Trade Federation and I have been sent here to destroy you roger roger"
Obi: "Is that so? Well, I just happen to have a lightsaber here."
*pulls out lightsaber*
Droid: "Well I have a blaster so beat that!"
Obi: "A lightsaber could beat a blaster any day, ass."
Droid: "No it can't."
Obi: "Yes it can."
Droid: "No it can't!"
Obi: "Yes it can!"
Droid: "No it can't!"
Obi: "Would you like me to demonstrate?"
Droid: "Err, okay."
*Obi-wan rushes forward and slices droid in half*
Droid: "Okay....you win..."
Qui-gon: "Can we go now?"
Obi: "Why are you asking me? You're the master!"
Qui-gon: "Well you seem to be handling everything so I thought..."
Obi: "Just a week ago you wouldn't let me go two feet from you and now you're asking me to decide our fate?"
Qui-gon: "Alright, I didn't think it would be that big of a deal..."
Obi: "Well it is!" *starts to cry* "I mean, when I was a student at the temple none of the teachers would ever let me decide things on my own! They'd always get mad at me!"
Qui-gon: "Are you having one of your emotional flash backs?"
Obi: *still crying* "They would keep saying 'Obi-wan, don't change the fighting moves,' and 'Obi-wan, don't touch yourself like that..."
Qui-gon: "What the hell are you talking about?"
Obi: *continues to cry and babble meaninglessly*
Qui-gon: *hits obi over the head with the hilt of his lightsaber to knock him out. he then drags obi's unconcious body out of the room that has apparently been filling up with gas the whole time.*
Droid: "Umm...I'm still alive..."