Rain drizzled down the leaded window panes. It was the perfect day to be outside, for a vampire at least. Damon Salvatore threw on his black jacket, grabbed his keys and headed out the door. It had been six months since the incident. The thought of it still haunted him. He couldn't have done anything, he told himself. He was miles away. How could he have known? Besides, she had chosen, or so he had thought. Everything after Alaric's death had been a blur. His drive back to Mystic falls, breaking about 30 laws in the process. Being told that she had been "helped". He couldn't bring himself to remember that conversation. The image of her lying on that slab had burned into his mind. He held her for a half an hour, stroking her hair and feeling numb. He hadn't wanted this. Not for her. She was far too good for this. He had no choice though. All he could do was…be there. For her, but more for himself. He could never let her go. Now he wouldn't have to.
Letting out a little scoff, He shook his head and stared at the road ahead of him. He didn't really care where he was going; he just had to get out of the house. Sedentary life did not suit him well. Never the less, he stayed. He found himself pulling up to The Grill. His favorite and only drinking spot in town. Only now it was just him. No more drinking partners. He parked his car and strolled up to the door, swinging it open and sauntering inside. He plopped down at the bar and motioned to the bartender.
"Bottle of bourbon."
"Be right up," The bartender smiled at him. She flipped her hair flirtatiously and spun around to grab his bottle.
On the outside he smiled at her, but felt nothing but annoyance inside. He was thirsty. He was on edge and he was not in the mood for air headed bar-tendresses. He just needed to drown his sorrows a little.
Damon let his mind wander as he tossed back half a glass of bourbon. Elena's transition hadn't been particularly difficult. She fed, she turned, whatever. It was how she looked at him afterwards that had been hard. The compulsion was wearing off. He could tell she was remembering things. He wasn't sure how much he remembered. Did it make a difference? She would always love Stefen. The hero. His mouth twisted as he poured himself another glass and knocked it back. His brother, whom he loved and hated at the same time. He sighed. He didn't have the energy to be petty anymore. It wasn't even worth it. He felt someone sit next to him.
"Isn't it a little early to drown your sorrows, Damon?"
He tilted his head to the side and gazed over at the figure next to him. The corner of his lip twitched into a smirk as he swirled his glass and took another sip. It's all the same and as far as I see it, it's always a good time to drown my sorrows"
Stefan motioned to the bartender. "Gin and tonic" He said, pulling off his jacket.
"How's the vampire training going?" Damon asked. He was already pouring his fourth glass.
"It's…going well. She needs you, you know."
"Look, we had a deal. If she chose you…I would leave town."
"Should I point out that you're still here?" Stefan said.
Damon stared at his now empty glass and decided to cut out the middle man. He took a swig from the bottle.
"Yeah well…that's me, always disappointing"
"Cut the crap Damon, you know she needs you. She needs both of us. It hasn't been easy for her. You know that. Besides, I promised to help Jeremy patch up the holes at their house. Thanks to Klaus we have to replace two windows too."
At least he didn't have to play carpenter. He stared at the alcohol that remained in his bottle and sighed. Pushing it back he threw a fifty on the bar and got up.
"Alright. Maybe I'll teach her the art of seducing your victims?" Damon grinned impishly at his brother.
Stefan frowned "Don't make me regret this."
Damon loved getting under his brothers skin. He gave him a mock salute and walked out. Getting in his car he let out a long sigh and laid his head on the steering wheel. The last few months he had been…avoiding Elena. Partly for her sake, partly for his own. She was here for eternity. He had to figure out a way to get her out of his head and move the hell on with his life. He inhaled as he sat up, started the car and drove back home.
Elena plunked keys on the piano. She didn't know how to play. Maybe she should learn. She had all eternity now. She sighed, dropping her head into her hands. She massaged her forehead. She tried not to let herself be consumed by her emotions. Guilt, regret, disappointment, want, need. Everything was too much for her to handle. There was so much she would never get to do. Her cravings consumed her. Her only bit of sanity was Steffen. She finally appreciated how hard it had been for him to control his. He hadn't let her go out on her own. Let her "hunt". She had mostly been cooped up inside since her transformation. She hugged herself, remembering waking up with a start in Stefan's arms. She began to remember things. A chance meeting with a handsome Stranger on a bridge and how his wish for her had been so honest. How he compelled her to forget. She hadn't spoken to Damon about it. How could she? She basically abandoned him. She sat up straight as she heard the door open.
Damon sauntered in, tossing his keys on the credenza near the door. He paused and took a deep breath, composing himself as he strolled into the parlor. He smirked at Elena. She looked as she always had. As she always would. She had no idea what she did to him.
Elena spun around on the bench to look at him. She had a sadness in her eyes that he wasn't expecting. He stared hard at her. He knew what he wanted to do but he just couldn't. He couldn't do that to himself anymore. Then she broke down. He sped to her and took her up in his harms. He didn't let go until she was finished.
"It's ok Elena. I'm not…I'm not going anywhere" He was an idiot. He would never be able to leave now.
Elena pulled herself back and looked into Damon's eyes. She stepped out of his arms and wiped her eyes, frustrated with herself.
"I remember everything Damon." She said, looking down.
He sighed "I figured."
"Why didn't you tell me…that we had met first?" She said, confused.
"Because it wouldn't have changed anything," He said, defeated.
"It doesn't make any sense! You could have told me! I would've-" She said, angrily
He took her face in his hands and stared into her eyes. "You would've what? Changed your mind? Elena. I love you. Nothing about that has changed. You made a decision. You have to tell me right now if knowing this has changed that. Tell me it has and I'll never leave you. It's a decision you'll have to live with and forever is a very long time"
She stared into his eyes. Every part of her felt like it was on fire. Her body was screaming at her. Her silence said everything and nothing at the same time.
Damon let go of her face and shook his head. He was stupid. This would change nothing. "Elena, I can't do this anymore". He turned to go but as soon as he did her hands were on his shoulder, shoving him into the wall. Their lips collided. His eyes widened in surprise before he gave in to his desires. This kiss was different than the one they'd shared before, more animal. Elena's eyes were black and red, her veins darkened. All he saw in her was Catherine. He tore himself away. This wasn't right. He knew he was taking advantage of her heightened emotions. Since when did he care so much?
"What's the matter, Damon? Isn't this what you want?" Elena growled at him
Damon slammed her against the wall. She looked surprised and a little hurt but he didn't care. He knew this was the rage talking.
"You have a lot to learn little girl" He growled back. "Figure out what you really want then get back to me, because I'm done being played with. I've spent too many years wanting things I can't have and I'm tired of it," He softened "I'm tired Elena. I love you. But I can't share you anymore. I won't."
Elena stared sadly into his eyes. She realized she didn't know what to tell him. Her soul was torn.
Damon stared at her sadly. Dropping his arms he shut his eyes, taking a moment to collect himself before turning and walking out the door. Elena stared after him as he drove away. Her knees weak, she slumped to the floor and cried until she couldn't cry anymore.
