This is a de-anon from the Hetalia Kink Meme, where the request was a mystery story with Hungary as the protagonist. It is a human AU, and is set in modern-day. Despite some darker themes and occurrences, it is broadly a lighthearted story. Or at least, in my opinion.

Pairings: Austria/Hungary (main), Germany/Italy (side)

Warnings: Language, violence, and a couple of non-explict intimate scenes/references in later chapters. Also, a warning for implied suicide in the first chapter.


Fireball Outfit: A travelling circus with a reputation for dishonest and illegal practices. (Circus Lingo)


Anyone who called it the 'easy way out' was a liar.

This was by far the hardest thing that he had ever done. The rope coiled like writhing snakes between his fingers, almost too thick to tie into a proper loop. Or maybe he was making excuses. Maybe it was the fact that his hands wouldn't stop shaking which proved the deed impossible.

He had not expected it to end like this. In a way, he supposed it was fitting. He had spent almost his entire youth on the stage, wasting away his fifteen minutes of fame in front of an adoring crowd. Countless hours of his time were dedicated to dressing rooms, where he sat in front of the mirror and prepared the gorgeous face that made his name. This dressing room was so similar it made him feel nostalgic; regimented square structure, wardrobe, dressing table, a bottle of his favourite resting on the shelf, gaudy fairy lights decorating the walls… the only difference was that the mirror now had a cover. The last thing he wanted was to see the hideousness that he'd become.

It took three more draughts from his bottle to sufficiently dull the fear. His head felt cloudier this time but his hands had become miraculously steady, allowing him to tie the clumsy knot. When he wrenched it over his head— sweeping aside clumps of matted hair— he was surprised to find that it was a perfect fit. The thought was not a comforting one.

He lingered on his tiptoes for a full fifteen minutes. Quite why taking the leap should be so difficult was a mystery to him. He had decided a long time ago that life without love was not a life worth living. He had always known that if anything, anything, ever befell his sweetheart he'd follow before there was even time for them to turn cold in their grave. He wondered too why he didn't feel more angry. Undeniably there were others to blame for this, and vengeance would have been such an easy option. Yet he knew by now that the easiest option was not always the right one to take.

No, his only real regret was for the ones left behind. In a perfect world he would have stayed on for their sakes alone, but he knew that took a kind of strength he did not possess. He only hoped they would be able to forgive him one day. Or at least understand why he had to do this.

In the end, the only easy part of the act was dying itself. Barely a second after the fateful step and it was all over— the rope snapping around his neck to cut away his last slither of life. There wasn't any screaming, or any blood. There wasn't even any pain. Just his body swinging back and forth and back again like a pendulum, glad to die for love.

...

September 2014

A small town in Bavaria

The crystal ball illuminated the tent with an ethereal glow. Shadows flickered in the corners like timid ghosts, and pinpricks of fire from candles were quivering in dangerous unison. The air tightened into a held breath; silent and still, heavy and hot. Behind the orb, draped in shawls and mystic jewellery, sat a woman named Erzsébet Héderváry. As she began to concentrate on the ball's cloudy depths, her nerves thrilled with anticipation. It didn't matter how many years went by, she would always remain tantalised by the atmosphere of reading the future. After all, it was in her blood. Erzsébet remembered when her obsession began, back in Hungary when she was only a girl. Her grandmother had been a fortune teller before her, and Erzsébet used to spend hours watching on in awe while she practiced her ancient art.

The way in which she'd decorated her tent was partly in testament to those heady childhood days. From the outside, it looked like an onion dome from some eastern city, adorned with red, white and green swirls. On the inside, Erzsébet had done her best to make it look as exotic as possible. The lighting was always low, mostly from candles and burning incense sticks. Boxes were scattered around a carpet printed with zodiac signs, each bearing a large 'KEEP OUT' placard. Whenever anyone asked, Erzsébet told them that they held secrets so dangerous that they could not even been seen by the human eye. In reality, they just contained volumes of her favourite Boy's Love manga. But as Erzsébet often rationalised to herself, what her customers didn't know would not necessarily hurt them.

Erzsébet cast her hands over the orb, careful to keep the lighting dim. This was not an official crystal ball reading; it would be wasteful for her to expend more energy than needed here. Instead, she focused her attention on her subject, who was bobbing up and down on the opposite side of the table. The boy looked every inch a typical circus-goer. He was roughly ten years old, painfully enthusiastic, and wore a laughable sailor's outfit that was a couple of sizes too small. His aura bounced around him dutifully in bright baby blue, unable to keep itself still. Lowering her voice, Erzsébet prepared herself for the familiar display.

"I sense an eager, vivid aura inside you," she told him, "This signifies a curious and adventurous spirit, as well as a determination to be important in the world. Challenges will present themselves to you freely, and you must decide which ones are worth your while."

The boy raised a pair of enormous golden eyebrows. "That definitely sounds like me! Hey Charlotte, Charlotte," He turned excitedly towards his friend, a girl about his own age who was lingering by the entrance. "Did you hear that? It shows that I'm going to be important!"

The girl folded her arms with an embarrassed sigh. Erzsébet could see a muted pink aura wavering around her as if it wasn't sure it wanted to be there. "Shows you've got a big head more like it," the girl said.

"There are disadvantages in this, however," Erzsébet continued, caressing her fingers over the orb's reverse side, "You should not allow yourself to become too curious. Exercise caution whenever you make decisions, and do not get mixed up in matters which don't concern you."

"Oh yeah?" the boy said challengingly, "And what's going to happen if I don't?"

"Who can tell, who can tell?" Erzsébet said. She left a pause for dramatic effect, and switched to a harsh whisper. "But I wouldn't risk it if I were you. It could even prove to be fatal!"

As usual, her announcement had the required effect. The boy sat bolt upright and his eyes widened in terrified fascination. "Th—that's awfully cool!" he said, although he now sounded a lot more shaken than he did excited, "Hey, hey, can you do Charlotte's future too?"

The girl by the entrance almost jumped out of her skin. "What? No way, I'm not wasting my money on magic that doesn't work," she spluttered.

"It does too work! All that stuff about me is going to come true, you see if it doesn't. Or maybe you're just scared, is that it?"

"No! It's just… I'm getting hungry. Can't we go and get food or something?"

After a brief discussion about the relative merit of the snack cart, the children left. Erzsébet could still hear them bickering about whether or not the display had been real until they disappeared out of earshot. She smiled to herself knowingly. She couldn't help noticing how Charlotte's aura had flared when the boy grabbed her hand to lead her from the tent. As much as it was probably unethical to ship children, instinct told her they would make an adorable couple when they were older. She considered using her powers to see if the relationship had any future, then decided against it, and dimmed the crystal ball. Her own emerald green aura instantly vanished out of sight. Reaching across the table, Erzsébet retrieved the Euros that the boy left her and pocketed them. This was not where she made the real money, of course; that came with the nightly performances as part of the travelling Fireball Circus. All the same, it often surprised her how much of a profit could accumulate from the hoard of day-to-day visitors.

With noting else to do, Erzsébet fetched her favourite Tsubasa doujinshi from one of the boxes and settled down to read. She was so engrossed in the story that she failed to notice the approach of light footsteps a few minutes later as a figure snuck inside the tent. In fact, it was only when the visitor stood directly behind her that she finally noticed their presence. She made to turn around, then yelled as a pair of hands covered her eyes.

"Hey Erzsi," said a familiar voice, "I caught you daydreaming again!"

Erzsébet pulled herself free without much difficulty. "I wasn't daydreaming, I was reading about Kurogane and Fai's pure love for each other," she said crossly, "Anyway Feliks, you've got to stop sneaking up on me like this."

Erzsébet's best friend tossed his hair and placed his hands on his hips. He was wearing an impressively small checked miniskirt, which made Erzsébet think of schoolgirls. "Uh uh, Erzsi. I'm not Feliks when I'm dressed like this, remember, I'm—"

"Miss Fabulous, drag queen extraordinaire, I remember," Erzsébet said, "But you'd better change before the circus meeting. I'm pretty sure Ludwig only wants to discuss plans for tonight's performance with Feliks Lukasiewicz."

"Yeah yeah, I can, like, do that later. Why are you so obsessed with this meeting anyway? You've barely talked about anything else recently."

Erzsébet removed one of her heavier shawls and began folding it up. "No reason. I just think it's going to be an interesting one that's all," she said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"You've seen something in your ball, haven't you?" Feliks said, "Bet it's something to do with one of your couples."

"I might have seen a slight flash."

"I knew it!" Feliks winked and flicked out his tongue. "Damn girl, I'm not saying you aren't talented or anything, but why d'you always use it to pair people up? You could be doing something way more useful."

Erzsébet considered this. It was true that she employed her prophesising skills somewhat… selectively, but then again she didn't choose what the orb told her. Besides, she wasn't going to stop playing the matchmaker anytime soon. It was far and away her favourite hobby. "What do you mean, 'more useful'?" she asked.

"Like reading my fortune, for example!" Feliks said, sitting down opposite, "C'mon, I wanna know if my drag performance tonight is going to be a total sell-out."

"Haven't you read the sign outside?" Erzsébet said, "It's ten Euros for a crystal ball reading, five for tea leaves, three for tarot cards or aura analysis. Palm reading is free."

"Fine, you can read my palm then. But why is it free?"

"Because…" Erzsébet hesitated. She was actually quite reluctant to confess this. "Because I can never get it to work properly. I keep messing up the life line part. I did it once for Gilbert when we were dating, and it said that he was going to die before he reached thirty."

Feliks pouted with the effort of contemplation. "Well how old is he now? It could still easily happen, right?"

"That's not funny, Feliks."

"Whatever, just do it, girl!" He held out his hands expectantly. "Only don't ruin my manicure, okay? I spent, like, all morning on that."

Erzsébet sighed, but she could tell that he wasn't about to give in any time soon. She deliberated over which palm she ought to examine. It was supposed to be the right palm for a woman and the left for a man, but she compromised by taking both of his hands into hers. "Well, your heart lines begin below your middle fingers," she started, "That's not exactly surprising."

"Why, what does it mean?"

"That you're selfish when it comes to love." Erzsébet looked up and grinned. "And you wonder why I never try to set you up with anyone."

Feliks pouted. "I so am not! I could be a wicked boss boyfriend if I wanted to, I just haven't met the right person."

"Haven't met anyone who could deal with your sass you mean," Erzsébet muttered, "Oh, and your head line is wavy— that shows you have a short attention span…"

"That's totally untrue as well!" Feliks said indignantly.

Erzsébet gave him an incredulous look. "The one time I was having relationship problems, Feliks. The one time."

"Hey! It's possible to be a sympathetic listener and doodle ponies at the same time."

"You know, this is proving a lot more accurate than usual," mused Erzsébet, "Perhaps I should start charging in future."

"Don't say that!"

Erzsébet continued with the reading, analysing every detail of Feliks' hand. Every detail, that was, aside from one. A small twitch of apprehension ran through her as she reached the final part. It felt like she had only been postponing what was bound to be an inevitable failure. Ignoring her dread, she traced the long curve around Feliks' left thumb and compared it to the other. Both hands seemed to be pointing towards the same conclusion: a stark, unmistakable result. Erzsébet snorted. No, that was too ridiculous.

"What's so funny?" Feliks asked.

"Your life line," Erzsbet said, letting go of his hands, "I told you I keep messing up that part— it says that you're going to die within the next twenty four hours."

They stared at each other in deafening silence. Erzsébet was scared for a moment that Feliks might take the news seriously. But to her relief, he finally sniggered, and burst into peals of laughter. "No way! I'm not even going to make to the end of the week? Erzsi, that's hysterical!"

"Well, I did say I was terrible at it. I just wish I knew why," said Erzsébet. She had always known and accepted that palmistry was one of the most difficult brands of divination. It was infamous for producing unpredictable results, yet her inability to master it was still a point of humiliation.

"Oh I dunno, you could be, like, totally right about this." Feliks wiped his eyes on the back of his hand. "Does it say how I'm going to drop dead, then?"

"No, we'd have to use tea leaves for that, and some other time too," Erzsébet said, checking her watch, "The meeting is in five minutes and if we're late, the prophecy might be fulfilled by Ludwig killing us. If you don't want to be Feliks in a skirt, go and put some trousers on!"

As he was making his way out, Feliks stopped by the entrance and smirked. "Wait, maybe I, like, shouldn't come to this meeting since I'm going to die," he said, "Maybe I should stay here and compose an epitaph instead."

Erzsébet threw her shawl in his direction, forcing him to duck out of sight. "Idiot! Just hurry up and get ready."


Charlotte: Wy