I don't own Naruto.

Gaara sighed again, looking at the full moon. Thirty six full moons had passed already, and it was seriously killing him. He had thought about suicide more than ever. He had always been kind of suicidal. But never to the extent that he actually had tried overdosing himself with some pills he stole from another house. He had regretted it almost immediately, though, because he still wanted to see him.

He looked around him.

The huge house was clean. Not only clean, it was spotless. Just the way he likes it. Everything still in place. He was going mad. He went to his office every single day, faked everything that needed to be faked, and returned home with the now normal feeling of being a walking shell. Holding nothing but empty, mechanical thoughts. He barely touched the food the servants gave him. Everything he had once liked was now something that couldn't wake even a little spark of interest in him. His piano was closed. The paints had been untouched for two years and a half now.

He watched as some servants began to place some Christmas ornaments. Was it that time already?

"Stop", he ordered. The servants looked at him, "I'll do it, so no one can touch these things, understood?", the servants nodded. They wouldn't contradict their master's orders, specially since all the thing happened. They had grown to like Gaara, even though he could be heartless at times, and they truly cared about him, and his current mental and physical state was something that had them worried.

"If you need anything else, let us know, Sabaku-sama", they said and disappeared. The redhead sighed and started placing more ornaments, which were the same as the ones of that year.

"Just to say goodbye", he muttered. He sent his steward to buy a huge natural tree. And he got it all decorated. He placed the gifts he had bought for his family and friends. They stopped by to have a snack or a drink on the holidays, he gave them their gifts and got his own from them, and he went back to that emptiness that had become his permanent companion. His loneliness was so deep, so painful.


"Hey, Gaara! Merry Christmas!", Temari said. Her husband and kids were the ones who stayed the most with him, along with Kankuro and his husband and adopted kids.

"Hey, Daiki, come back here!", Kankuro tried to get hold of the first kid he and Shikamaru had adopted, who was starting to run. No success, "I swear, I will let him do track and field if he would only stay calmed around the house"

"Troublesome", the Nara said.

"Go get your kid, Shikamaru, dammit!", Kankuro snapped.

"I'll go, Kankuro", the redhead said. His brother thanked him. Gaara, was, after all, the fastest of the three, and Shikamaru was lazy as fuck when it didn't involve something of his interest (one of the things that entered in his 'interests' list was, of course, fucking his husband senseless).

Gaara got up, and he got his nephew in no time.

"Uncle Gaara bad. Me want to run", he protested, but Gaara smiled a bit.

"I'll give you a lollipop", he promised.

"Daiki wants lollipop. Me will behave"

The morning went on without much news. Temari was pregnant again, Shikamaru and Kankuro were adopting another kid, so that made him have three nieces (two for Temari and one for Kankuro), and three nephews (one for Temari, two for Kankuro).

"And... hadn't heard anything about him?", Kankuro asked privately when he was leaving with his husband. Gaara shook his head.

"I don't think he's ever coming back, Kankuro. He... he deserves better. I'm not worthy of him, I never was. I treated him so... I was a beast to him", Gaara muttered, "Sasuke told me he still is managing the Hyuuga's business, and single... as if that mattered. He's free for a better man", the redhead sighed.

"Gaara, everything will be okay, you hear me? Just don't do anything stupid", Kankuro hugged him. And he was alone again.

He walked towards the tree. All his presents had replaced the ones of his friends'. He didn't feel like opening them, though, and just took his presents out to put hem underneath the ornaments that almost touched the floor.

He sat in his couch, watching the fire in the fireplace burning bright. He took a look at the picture of him and Neji over the fireplace. They were smiling, holding hands. Happiness was written all over it, all over their faces. He had ruined that, and he was now paying the price.

"I'm sorry, Neji, I'm so sorry", he muttered, and cried himself to sleep, wishing this was only a nightmare.


But it wasn't. He woke up yet again, and made a final decision. He couldn't bear this anymore. He went to his room (the one he used before Neji had come to live with him), and searched the drawers for it. His gun. He placed it in his jacket and went out with his keys, even though he didn't plan to return home. Home? He didn't have a home since Neji left.

He walked downtown (his house was a bit apart from it, he liked privacy). The bright lights were almost blinding him. Rain began to pour, but he didn't care. He just couldn't feel it anymore. Everyone was looking for shelter, and he... he was walking under the rain without feeling it.

The redhead stopped to see the window of Neji's favorite chocolate shop.

"So... you like chocolate?", Neji asked.

"I got a sweet tooth"

"Good, because this is the best chocolate I've ever tried and I'm sure you'll love it"

"I'll love you more still, you know", the redhead smiled. Neji kissed him in his forehead.

"I know, you silly. And I will always love you more than I love chocolate", Gaara had blushed deeply, making Neji Hyuuga smile.

Gaara turned away. Everything was just so painful. He walked down the street, turned around the corner and finally got himself in a dead-end alley, a really dark one. He could imagine the newspapers' headings for the next day.

Multimillionaire Gaara no Sabaku committed suicide in an alley.

He sighed, and took his gun out. This was going to be fast. He had suffered enough.


Neji Hyuuga decided to go visit Gaara for once. He just felt the urge to see him at least once. One time. That was it.

He never expected to find some of the servants outside with a police unit, everyone with all those worried faces. He approached them, and the main steward, Baki, noticed him.

"Hyuuga-sama", he said, "How may I help you?"

"Where's Gaara?"

"He..." Baki hesitated, and looked away, "We can't find him"

"What do you mean?", the pearl-eyed man asked, frowning.

"After Kankuro-sama left with Shikamaru-sama, Sabaku-sama was alone. We thought he would go to sleep at the usual time in his former room after opening his presents. It was his routine for every year for three years. But then I saw all his presents untouched, with the ones he bought for you, Neji-sama, and his hot chocolate cup was still full but the chocolate was cold. So I went to see if he was okay to the room he started using again, and I found a mess. The drawers were empty... and his... his...", the servant didn't finish.

"His what?"

"His gun was missing too", Baki finished. Neji paled. This was bad, "He didn't take any car, or bike, or motorcycle, so at first we looked in the manor and the surroundings to find he had probably headed somewhere else"

Neji didn't listen to the rest. He started running downtown. He had to find him.

Gaara, don't do anything stupid. Please. Don't...


The redhead charged the gun. He placed it in his forehead, the last thing Neji had kissed. Just as he fired it, a stray dog made him move. The bullet ended up going through one of his lungs.


Neji heard the gunshot. Shit. No. It can't be him. No. No. He ran faster towards the place the sound had come from. It was dark, so he used his phone to see in the dark. The unmistakable smell of blood reached his nose. He cursed. But he paled when he saw those familiar red locks he had run his fingers through so many times, and those aquamarine eyes slowly losing the little shine they had.

"Gaara, stay with me! Gods, please, Gaara, don't die!", he begged while dialing 911. The ambulance showed up soon enough, and he jumped into it with a pale and cold Gaara.

"Talk to him calmly, maybe that helps", the nurse said. Neji nodded.

"Gaara, remember me? Neji? I know I left you. It was the biggest mistake in my life, you know? I've been moody. Hinata can't handle me for long now, and I sometimes cry without a reason. I remember you. I remember your kisses, your caresses, your 'I love you's. I miss them. I miss having our not-so-little fights, because I knew we would always make up, and be normal, no matter who was right or wrong. Remember? When we loved each other... when you would randomly say how we would be when we grew old, and I would say we would be like raisins, all dry and wrinkled. I had decided to go to see you today... Baki told me you were nowhere to be found", Neji bit his lower lip, "Stay with me, Gaara... I love you... I... I love you", some tears escaped his eyes, but he didn't care. They got to the hospital.


The sugery had lasted about ten hours. After that, Neji was able to go to Gaara's room and sleep in it until Gaara woke up.

It had been a day and Gaara was still asleep. Neji saw all the presents the redhead got from their friends, 'get well' cards, balloons. He was fighting with himself. Should he get something for him? Or should he stay? He stayed, after all. He wanted to see those eyes open up again. He could buy it when he got out of the hospital.

"It was a merry Christmas, after all", he heard him mutter. He turned around and approached him. Gaara blinked, "You... you aren't a dream?", he asked. Neji caressed his face.

"No, Gaara, I'm not a dream", he said.

"But I... I was so..."

"A beast. Yeah, Sasuke told me how you felt after that...", Neji sighed, "But we're the beauty and the beast. We love each other, don't we? If I loved you then, I still love you... because our love isn't based only on what we love about each other... but also on what we don't like... and I miss when we would fight and then make up no matter what", the brunette smiled a bit.

"You still love me?", some tears threatened to come out any second now. Neji hugged him gently but firmly.

"I will always love you, Beast"

"Kiss me, Beauty"


Some sort of epilogue to this...

"Ichiro Hyuuga, come here you savage!", Kankuro yelled.

"Hey, Kankuro, Ichiro is no savage, you're just too slow"

"Troublesome"

"Shut up, little brother, because I'm doing this so you and Neji can go on a date without worrying. I can leave if I want to"

"Don't you dare", Gaara growled. Neji squeezed his hand, Gaara relaxed, "We'll be back by ten", he and Neji left the house and went to their favorite restaurant. They stopped to see Neji's favorite chocolate shop's window.

"So... you like chocolate?", Neji asked.

"I got a sweet tooth", Gaara smiled.

"Good, because this is the best chocolate I've ever tried and I'm sure you'll love it"

"I'll love you more still, you know", the redhead smiled. Neji kissed him in his forehead.

"I know, you silly. And I will always love you more than I love chocolate", Gaara had blushed deeply, making Neji Hyuuga smile.