Okay! So here is the first installment of the RussAme companion to my cleverly named PruCan FMLs. How'd I get so creative, huh?

I hope everyone enjoys it.

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger.He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one.Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there.FML

Ivan wish he could say he was surprised to find his lover in the small, slightly unsanitary eatery, but to be honest it was the first place he looked when he discovered the blond wasn't home. He could see the childish blond through the window, enthusiastically munching on a hamburger. With a grimace of disgust, he walked into the fast food joint, which he believed smelled like grease and regret.

"Ifahn!"

"Please swallow your food before speaking, dorogoy," chided the Russian as he sat in front of America.

The younger nation obliged, swallowing thickly before continuing the conversation.

"Whatcha doin' here?"

"You were not at home."

"So ya came lookin' for me? How long ya been lookin'?" asked Alfred as he took up his hamburger again.

"Hm… How long is the walk from your house to this McDonald's?"

"Boud free minufes."

"Alfred," admonished Russia once again.

The American swallowed before replying, "Okay, Mom. Man, ya sound just like England."

"Hopefully you do not suffer from Oedipal delusions and that is why you are with me."

"I... what?"

"Yankee doodle; keep it up."

"Speak of the devil," said America, pulling out his iPhone.

"-dandy.

Mind the music and th-"

"Yo, Iggy! … I don't care if I don't speak Japanese, I can call ya want… I can so! ... Oh yeah? Well at least I can cook! … No, ya can't… Yes, I can… Hamburgers are the best food! Ya jus' can't tell 'cause ya can't taste!"

Ivan, bored and hungry, absentmindedly picked up the heart attack on buns and took a bite.

"- jus' jealous 'cause- IVAN WHAT THE HELL!"

The Russian looked at his seething lover with wide eyes.

"Do ya see how big of a bite ya took? That's freakin' ridiculous man! Go get me another burger!"

"E-excuse me?"

"You heard me! You need to replace that! I want an Angus Deluxe."

"But you are eating a double cheeseburger?"

Alfred's eyes narrowed and Russia saw a glint in them that he hadn't seen for decades.

"Angus. Deluxe. Now."

Russia rolled his eyes, but decided to indulge his lover. As he walked to the counter he could hear Alfred mumbling about commies trying to stop the hero, and yes he was a commie, because you didn't just stop being a commie.

After a few minutes, the large nation returned to the table and placed a bag in front of the blond.

"There."

Alfred only nodded, took the hamburger out, and sank his teeth into it. He did nothing but eat the sandwich. There was no 'thanks', no 'you're the best', no 'I'm sorry I'm so dumb, however do you put up with me'. Nothing until he finished the Angus Deluxe two minutes later. As he was licking his fingers, he looked up at Ivan and said, "You know, you're really lucky I didn't just break up with you."

Russia looked at him in shock and thought, you're really lucky the Cold War isn't still going on.

Yankee Doodle was originally created as a way the British officers mocked colonist militia (during the French and Indian/Seven Years War) for being uncouth. The colonist turned it around and used it patriotically. Story goes that at the surrender Yorktown the British played The World Turned Upside Down and the Americans played Yankee Doodle. I just thought Alfred would set it as Arthur's personal ringtone, as a reminder of how awesome he is.

This seemed rather rushed to me, but I like still. Please review, I would love it. And if you have any FML requests, for any pairing/character/group of characters, please seen them in.