A/N: I used the lyrics from one of my favorite sons to point out some missing details to my fic Fox's Lament...and it's also to stage off how long it will take me to re-evaluate part two, there is a good chance that there will be a number of changes as I intend to take the fic back to the way I originally intended to write anyhow this was really just a boredom cure and Lament was one of my favorites so...here's something new for now while I work on COF some more...Later...
Soul Society - Kamelot
If my soul could revive from my carnal remains,
What dose it matter to me?
If it all fades to black,
If I'm born once again.
Then no one really is free...
His thoughts would fade in and out of being, what he'd done to the only woman he'd ever loved struck him like a thousand hammers, his heart constantly reminding him of the horrible atrocity that he'd committed against her. As his life carries on without meaning after seen Krystal in the arms of one of his own enemies, he is pushed over the edge. Finally he truly wishes he were dead. Due however to his own morals and the morals of his father whom he held in the highest of regard he was not one for using suicide as a way to forget. He instead finds means in which to forget day by day, from one empty promise to another...hoping that eventually the drink would clear him of these thoughts. Unfortunately, every morning, despite how much he consumed, the feelings of loss tore at his heart and mind. Fox McCloud had become the bane of his own existence. Moving from bar to bar, becoming and unwelcome sight to any that met him---his life carried on dragging him along the way. One day however a small bar on Kew gave him a slight ray of hope...a way to make Fox McCloud disappear for good...
A lone white furred hare sits off to his side, "I know that look anywhere." He says the smell of his breath an insult to the nose and eyes, "Wish you could just disappear dont'cha? You'd give anything just to make it all go away."
"Who the fuck 're ... you?" Fox asks trying to make his blurred vision focus on the man, "My fairy godfather."
"I was once like you, boy." The old hare says taking a long drink from his glass, "Seemed like killing myself was the only way out, stumbling from one drink to the next just prayin' fer the day my body finally just gave out on me." Fox didn't want to hear any of this but, for some reason the words simply stuck with him, "Then I met a man named Lament---that name saved my life and my sanity, when I needed to disappear he helped me vanish..."
"What the fuck do you want?" Fox asks.
"What would you say if I could help you disappear ... to forget. Tell me---what is it that's so horrible that you drown yourself on this cheap swill?"
How could I be condemned for the things that I've done,
If my intentions were good.
I guess I'll never know,
Some things under the sun can never be understood.
The memories pained the poor fox more than anything to recall, he was certain that what he'd done was only for her protection, but what good is there in a task of good who's only ramifications are bad? No matter how hard he thought about it he could never really find the answer but, hopefully he now had one in this old hare's help...
"I---I turned away the only woman I ever loved ... broke her heart, and pushed her aside. I only did it to keep her out of the war where she'd be safe, but, instead I drove her into the arms of another man ... one of my own enemies." Fox says finishing his drink and calling for another, "The last thing she ever said to me was how much she hated my guts."
As the hours passed the conversation carried on between the two ... and soon not even the drinks were enough to block out the memories. That is until Fox finally hit his point, and collapsed onto the counter. His dreams however were filled with the visions of his past; the blue vixen that he'd hurt so badly, forced to watch everything happen over and over again, driving his mind to a steep drop into madness. How he wished he could take it all back ... he could hear the sound of her cries and pleas against his decision, he could swear that he could even hear the sound of her heart breaking. If there ever was something that someone deserved to die for it was the pain that he'd caused her intentional or not. As the hung over vulpine opened his eyes he found that he was in odd surroundings on a ship of some kind...
""S about time you woke up..." A dimly familiar voice calls to him, his eyes focus on the hare from the bar, "Follow me. I want to talk to you about somethin'."
Fox made it his best effort to walk out of the room and into the halls of the small ship, stopping for a moment as he remembered something from the other night, "Were you---telling the truth, about making me forget?" He asks hopefully.
Soon the two found themselves in the kitchen where the hare went to a pre-made pot of coffee, "You take any sugar..."
"No...black's fine." Fox replies.
"About thirty years back..." The hare says sitting and passing Fox a cup of strong coffee, "...I lost my entire family; two daughters, a son, and my wife. I found myself in the same place you are right now, pretty much drinking myself to death. One day however I meet this strange wolf, calls himself Lament ... he tells me a similar story about himself. His fiance was raped and killed. Well no matter what he did, or where he searched he couldn't find the animals that had killed her...he comes across another person that calls himself Lament---this animal claims that the name was passed to him from some sort of space pirate a long time ago, who'd received it from someone else, and so on..." The hare continued sipping at his powerful drink, "That wolf went on to be known as Lament for ten years before the name led him right to the ones that had killed the woman he loved. Odd thing is, the one before him that carried the title ... he also claimed that he had found what it was he was looking for, and like them---so have I, and now I'm ready to pass the name to someone else..."
Fox could hardly believe what he was hearing, "So you're telling me---that taking this name, and rejecting who I ever was will eventually get me what it is I want? It'll help me forget ... the past?"
"It has never failed ... nobody knows where the name originated, or who started the passage of it from one generation to another---but, the name itself seems to have..." The hare tried his hardest to think of it, "I don't know, a type of magic to it. I was only given one stipulation to reviving the name before never seeing that wolf again..."
"And what was that?" Fox asks.
"That I pass it to someone that more than anything needs a new life ... and a new start Having been in your position before it was easy enough to tell what you were going through." The hare says, "What do you say? If you really want to forget about everything you have done, what better way to forget than to become someone else entirely? You'll be given everything that was passed on to me from the former Lament, and everything that I have aquired in my time as Lament. I warn you, that you will be hated ... as the name dose have it's downsides, but it's perks are more than worth it. I will help you disappear, Fox McCloud will have to die at Lament's hands for the name to pass to you..." Fox looked stunned, "...that's right I know who you are and how far you've fallen because of one pretty face---it's happened to the best of us. I've found my new lease on life, now it's time to let Lament help you find yours."
How can we believe in heaven,
When our reason counters all...
Ideas of Soul Society.
My life is just a fragment of the universe and all,
There must be more that I can see.
Far from Fox's location on the planet he once called home, a massive roar of sorrow could be heard over the the city of Corneria ... the news would live on as the day a legend died. One citizen in particular had taken the news harder than she was hoping for ... having recently left Star Wolf, Krystal had begun to work as a traveling mercenary, though she did not like herself for what she'd done ... she'd only really used Panther to get back at Fox for what he'd done, but this was not something she had hoped for. She didn't want him to die ... and though it pained her she sat in the kitchen of her small ship. Shedding her tears in silence of the world around her as she watched the ceremony that was televised for all those in Lylat that could not make it to the monumental funeral...
"Today marks the end of a legacy..." The newscaster says, "At roughly 6:30pm Monday evening locals spotted what appeared to be the remains of a small space craft breaking apart in the planet's atmosphere. It was determined from scattered fragments of the remains that the arwing in question belonged to none other than Fox McCloud who had become missing ever since his team had disband. Though no actual details have been released, satellites around the planet recorded a short video of the arwing in the midst of a dog fight with a black arwing that has been listed to the Cornerian alliance as the flag ship of the infamous Lament ... details about Lament are short handed and very skeptical at the least, some claiming him to be a ghost of sorts ... no one has actually ever seen Lament's face first hand---but, any information, or capture of the one responsible for the death of Fox McCloud will most certainly be handsomely rewarded..."
After hearing too much of the reporter's fauls sense of pain, and hurt at the loss of Lylat's famed vulpine protector, the screen of the television burst sending fragments of glass showering over the kitchen. The vixen's tears would not stop falling, she had never stopped loving Fox ... she ahd wanted so much to say she no longer felt anything for him, but, something in her heart told her that Lament---whoever he was---had to pay for what he'd done. The vixen's path as Kursed would now lead her into space in search for the lout that had robbed her ... robbed her of the chance to apologize for what had been said, the chance to tell Fox that she still loved him. Come life or death, she would personally bring Lament's life to an end...
In the dark we're the same,
In the concept of time...
We're like a grain in the sand.
And we strive for the flame,
As if death was our aim,
Cause we cannot understand.
Standing on the threshhold of a new life, Fox no longer needs his old monocure ... Lament would provide everything that he would ever need from now on. His days would pass on throughout the days, and months, and years. He would eventually be driven to recall his hardships with his love at the finding of her destroyed ship in Kewian orbit ... now more than ever he needed to be someone else. Sauria becomes his home, and he falls back to the only life he can remember ever keeping his mind in the clear---mercenary, bounty hunter, and whatever else he can find as work help him stage off his memories, and soon Fox McCloud becmoes no more than a shadow ... a fractured relic from the past that no longer serves him, or the universe around him any sort of purpose. His days will go on, and her image will continue to huant his nightmares, all the while hoping that the old hare had told him the truth and some day, some how, he would fully forget the mistakes of his past...
How I wish there was a heaven,
All for one and one for all...
A flawless soul society.
Our lives are just a fragment of the universe and all,
There may be more then we can see...
