A/N: Just a little One-Shot that came to my by surprise while listening to this song. It simply wouldn't let me rest, so I wrote it up and have finally decided to put it online. Don't know if its any good, it certainly isn't one of my best works, but I wanted it published anyway. In case anyone wants to listen to the song I used for this, its Connie Dover's "I am going to the West", technically an Irish folksong, but it seemed to fit for Kagome and Inuyasha. This takes place during their separation after Naraku has been finished off.
Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the characters, I'm just playing with them!
Warnings: None that I could spot^^
Summary: After Inuyasha has been pushed down the well, he feels lonely. But there's that voice singing one evening, Kagome's voice. Could it be that he's getting crazy? Or maybe the Miko is as lonely as the hanyou is...
I am going to the West
The setting sun shone cheerfully upon the land, the evening was warm and the last soft rays of sunshine seemed to bathe the land in pleasant glow. The wind played with the blades of grass and the leaves in the trees, making them sigh and whisper all throughout the land. And on a hilltop, not too far from the village under his protection, a lone figure stood, his silver hair blowing in the wind and making it almost dance around his head.
I remember how Kagome loved it when the wind ruffled her hair...
Inuyasha sighed soundlessly and closed his eyes for a moment. Kagome. She was so far away from him, and yet her presence never seemed to leave him. How could he not think of her, when he saw her face whenever he closed his eyes for a moment, when he heard her laugh in the wind or smell her scent everywhere he went. Try as he might, he could not forget her. He didn't want to forget her. Not when the mere image of her or the memory of her scent calmed him so much.
Right after he had been pulled back through the well, he had nearly lost his mind trying to get back to her, he couldn't think of anything else. Then he had tried convincing him that it was better that way, that she had never belonged in his era, that he was better off without her. But gradually, over the passing of time, he had understood that she had made him a better person. She had been the first human to ever accept him for what he was, not wanting to change him into something else. She always sacrificed something for his sake and he had taken her for granted. Now that she was gone, he felt her absence more keenly than anything else.
Most of his days were spent in a haze now, he alternated between keeping a lonely and silent vigil over Kaede's village and walking aimlessly through the forest bearing his name. More often than not, his nights were spent within the branches of Goshinbuko, recalling every instant he had been blessed with Kagome's presence.
Inuyasha's sight cleared once more, he often dazed off now, thinking of what Kagome might be doing. Mildly surprised he felt a presence coming towards him and his nose told him that it was just Miroku. The monk had built a hut outside the village, spending his days in blissful love with his demon slayer Sango.
Inuyasha was not jealous of them, at least not anymore, he was actually rather glad to have his friends near. It made the loneliness more bearable in a way.
Now Miroku stood next to him, not saying anything, simply showing that he was there. Both of them had known each other for so long now that conversation wasn't really needed anymore, the monk knew what plagued him, so why ask?
"You know, I still see her sometimes."
He had spoken before he had realised it and in his peripheral vision he saw Miroku look at him calmly, his eyes filled with understanding, not pity. He didn't say anything, there was no need to say anything. Right after he had been hurled back into his time, his mind had gone haywire, he had thought to see Kagome very often and it had concerned his friends. And secretly, it had concerned him also. Over time, the instances here he seemed to see the woman his heart beat for had lessened, but they had never stopped. Miroku knew that well and had advised him to relish in those brief moments of sadness, knowing how much the miko's absence hurt the hanyou.
Presently it was as with the change of the winds direction, a voice floated through the air, even as the sun sunk towards the horizon.
I'd know that voice anywhere... But she's not here with me anymore...
It was Kagome's voice, her soft faint voice whispering through the wind. Before he knew it, his muscles reacted and his feet guided him slowly towards the forest, the presence of the monk following him slowly. He heard him call his name, more confused than concerned, but the hanyou didn't heed him. The voice seemed so real, and yet it wasn't. It felt as if it was just a shadow of the real thing. And yet, despite his better jusgement, he was moving towards it, drawn by the longing he felt, like a moth drawn to a flame.
Feeling a hand on his shoulder, Inuyasha stopped to look back at his friend. His gaze was concerned, only mildly but still. They all worried about him, he could sense it in their behaviour. They all shot him long looks, he could feel their gazes on him when he was standing guard near the village, they spoke quieter, careful not to anger him in any way. Of sorts, it was annoying, but Inuyasha liked the silence he was provided with now, it gave him opportunity to think.
"What it is my friend?" Miroku asked him now, still holding his gaze firmly, while his hand created a quiet reassurance only few mortals could achieve.
"I have a strange question, Miroku." he stated quietly and was almost surprised at how his voice had changed. Gone was the gruff tone he had so often made use of in the past. It had been replaced by the calm speech of a being that had accepted his fate.
"What question?" the monk asked and stepped back a pace, knowing from experience that his friend didn't wish to be comforted. At the least not by him.
The wind picked up once more and with it, the voice returned. Unable to resist the temptation of it, Inuyasha closed his eyes and let his ears pick up on that heavenly sound.
"Do you hear that voice too?"
A slight gasp was his answer and then silence. For a while.
"I don't hear anything, Inuyasha."
Figures... Then I really am imagining it...
A sad and bitter smile tweaked at his lips, even as the sunlight failed and shadows were cast over the land and the forest behind him.
"Then I think I'm going insane, Miroku. Because I can hear it. But then again, if insanity makes me hear that, I'd happily go nuts." he answered his friend and continued on into the forest, leaving a stunned monk behind him.
Its true, if going mad means I hear her voice, I wanna be insane...
And the voice became clearer, the further he walked, guiding his footsteps unwavering towards the Goshinbuko, where the hanyou leaped up onto his favourite branch, leaning back against the trunk of the tree. Once again he lost himself in his memories of the human that held his heart, though he had never told her so.
Gods, I miss her... There's no use denying that...
For a while he sat there, just enjoying the memories of her laughter, her smiles, the way her hair fell into her forehead when she slept, how she moved, talked, even how she glared at him. Oh, he had loved annoying her, just so she would get angry and fight with him. Her most menacing glare could have even made Sesshoumaru slightly queasy.
A soft smile played around his lips as he recalled how her scent changed when she was angry. Her whole being altered slightly, the kind hearted and patient Kagome was gone and in her stead he had been faced with something so ferosciously enticing it drove him near crazy.
Suddenly, the voice he heard became clearer again, and took on a more melodious tune, as if the imaginary Kagome was singing. Inuyasha had heard her sing only once before, when she had tried to calm her brother from a nightmare and she didn't know he had heard her sing.
In this fair land, I'll stay no more ... Here labor is in vain ...
It did sound like a song, but he couldn't remember having heard it before. However it was, he wanted to listen to her, no matter what his imagination chose to torment him with. This was sweet torture indeed.
I'll seek the mountains far away ... And leave the fertile plain...
It did sound like Kagome, almost too much for his own imagination. Startled golden eyes opened to look around him. He couldn't smell her, but it almost was as if he could feel her. He knew that feeling, it was the same thing he had felt when she had talked to him through the Goshinbuko. Maybe it WAS her and she sat at the tree right as he was, trapped on her side of the well, unable to reach him, as he was unable to reach her. Overcome with longing for her, the hanyou leaned into the tree, hoping to catch a bit of her aura, perhaps then she could feel him too.
And still the song continued.
Where waves of grass in oceans roll ... Into infinity...
Was she singing about his time? Did she want to come back to him? He hadn't seen a lot of green in her world, surely she missed the way the wind made the plains appear as if they were made of water, rolling in and out, just like the tides.
I stand ready on the shore ... To cross the inland sea...
That sounded like Kagome, always ready for a good fight. She had faced so many things unflinchingly, her hands always steady when they held her bow, her trust in him never failed for an instant. She always looked magnificent when the battle mood was on her, she looked fell and admirable. Her gaze hardened with a steely sheen, her entire posture screaming defiance and pride.
I am going to the West ... You say you will not go with me...
Was that sadness he felt from her presence just now? Was she as sad and lonely as he was, did she miss him as much as he missed her? Was she sad that he had been torn from her side and they had been trapped so far apart from each other?
You turn your eyes away ... You say you will not follow me...
Surely she knew better, he'd never leave her, if he had a say in the matter. If he only could reach out and pull her back to him, his heart constricted painfully in his chest at the thought of Kagome being sad. And alone. He wanted nothing more than make her happy again, make him smile once more, only one more time.
No matter what I say ... I am going to the West ...
There, a stab of hope floated through him as the imaginary Kagome he pictured on the tree in her time smiled slightly, her eyes blissfully closed while her beautiful white troat emitted that song. It almost seemed as if she meant him to hear it, meant for him to somehow hear her voice to make him know that she intended to come back, however long it took for her.
I will journey to the place ... That was shaped by heaven's hand...
Now he was sure she meant his time, she couldn't mean anything else other than that and wild happiness coursed through his veins as her presence cleared and engulfed him, shrouded him in a thick blanket made of her scent and her voice.
And I will build for me a bower ... Where angels' footprints mark the land...
She meant to stay with him forever? She wanted to live in his time, wanted to come back to him. He could feel it, her yearning for his era, for their friends, for him. It was so strong a craving, he could hardly believe it. That moment, Inuyasha knew fully, that she, Kagome, and no one else, would be his mate. She was his other half and he could never hope to live without her.
Where castle rocks and towers high ... Kneel to valleys wild and green...
Oh yes, they had seen all that while travelling the country together. Valleys filled with demons and shadow, mountains, both beautiful and menacing, forests, stretching out into a green blur at the horizon, they had seen all of that together.
All my thoughts are turned to you ... My waking hope, my sleeping dream...
Was she talking about him now? His thoughts were on her every moment his heart continued beating, every breath he took he could detect the faintest hint of her scent within the air, maybe she felt the same way about it. Maybe she thought as much about him as he thought about her.
And when sun gives way to moon ... And silver starlight fills the sky...
Suddenly all those nights returned to him, nights where he had seen her sleeping, when she had been awake, when they had been sitting together. How the fire had painted coppery reflections on her dark hair, or how the stars took to being reflected in her eyes. How the moonlight had made her seem unearthly, ethereal, otherworldly. And just then, with the moonlight giving her porcelain skin a silver shine to it, the wind slightly tugging at her hair and clothes, he had always found it difficult to look away. She was so irrestistible then. How he wished to see her skin gleam with moonlight again.
In the arms of these last hills ... Is where I'm bound to lie...
Not quite, you're is meant to lie in my arms, Inuyasha thought gruffly, as if challenging fate to defy his claim. Gods, he wanted to hold her again, to close his arms around her thin frame and shield her from the world. She always seemed so fragile compared to him, he simply had the overwhelming urge to protect her and to hold her. To feel her dainty body pressed to his, her form huddled in his chest, while her figure moulded into his embrace. How much he wanted that indeed.
Wind, my blanket, earth, my bed ... My canopy, a tree...
How often had she slept outside, him watching out for her? Times to numerous to ever be counted and he felt her desire to have it again. But there was a deeper meaning to this, he could feel it. Surely she meant the Goshinbuko with that tree she had included into her song. It was something that had shielded her all her life, something that had never left her, that would always be by her side, no matter where she was.
Willows by the river's edge ... Will whisper me to sleep...
How well he could picture her, lying in his arms sleeping in that spot near the river she liked so much. A small secluded area where she had often stayed when she had felt upset. And more than once he had accompanied her when she sat there, watching the branches of age-old willows brushing through the water flowing through the meadow. It really was a calming place.
Inuyasha sighed slightly, still sitting high in his tree, listening to Kagome singing that song, so filled with sadness and hope, it seemed impossible that those two emotions could exist in the same song, yet they were and he was listening to it. His consciousness faded in the feel of her aura surrounding the tree and him and for a moment, a small fraction of time, he imagined he could smell her scent again.
I'll find a way to get you back here Kagome...
FINIS
Thats it... Review if you like, I always love hearing what others think of my poor scribbles... But be nice, this is my first fanfiction for Inuyasha and English is only my second language! Yet, constructive criticism is always welcome. Now, enough talk, hit the green button below and let me know what you think of it! ^.^
