Hey guys! This is my first fic, so please don't be too harsh! Lol. I tried my best. Please review and let me know what you think :). Hope you all enjoy!
Chapter One
Sometimes, life just sucks. Forget all that bullshit about how, even in the worst of circumstances, if you really try you can find the "positive" perspective. Sometimes everything just really does suck and there IS no positive way of looking at things. I mean, how could there possibly be anything even remotely good about your dad being transferred to a new town that no one's heard of at Christmas time no less? I mean, sure, maybe the town isn't THAT far away, and maybe I do know at least one person living there, but still, this was gonna be the worst Christmas.
Being an openly gay teenager, the type of high school I attend is something extremely important to me. I need to be sure that the school I go to isn't one that's filled with bigotry and homophobia, otherwise I could face serious issues. Therefore, the fact that I was transferring out of one of the best schools in the entire state for gay students to attend did not sit well with me. What made it even worse was the fact that the school I was transferring to was one of the absolute worst schools any gay teenage boy would want to attend. It was known for being intolerant towards gay rights and equality, most likely due to the fact that the town it was located in was such a small town filled with close-minded people.
The reason I know all of this about McKinley (that's the school I'm transferring to) was because during my time at Dalton (that's the school I'm transferring out of) I'd grown pretty close with Kurt Hummel after he joined the music group I was a part of called the Dalton Academy Warblers. Sure, him and my other friend Blaine Anderson were closer than we were, but I always got the feeling there was something more going on with those two. Kurt insisted they were still just friends, but I did get him to admit to me that he wanted more, but that Blaine didn't seem interested. Poor guy, I knew what that was like.
Last year, while singing with the Warblers, I had grown pretty attached to this guy Nick who was a fellow Warbler. We started hanging out a lot after getting paired together for a duet, and my feelings for him only grew the more time I spent with him. He was such a great guy, kind, smart, funny, attractive, everything you could want in a guy. I definitely started falling for him pretty hard, without even knowing if he was interested in me as more than a friend. That right there was my biggest mistake. On one particular night in late November, he invited me over to his house so we could hang out while his parents were out for the night. I decided it was the perfect time to tell him how I felt, and I could only hope that he felt the same way too...
- Flashback -
The walk up to Nick's from my car was a nerve wracking one, I wasn't sure how the evening was going to go but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach for some reason. Regardless, I knew this was the night I had to tell Nick about how I felt, it just seemed like it was time.
I walked up to the big black door and knocked lightly at first, my hand shaking slightly as I did so. When there was no answer, I knocked a little louder and soon enough Nick was opening the door to greet me.
He looked amazing, with his longish, dark brown hair swept to one side of his head, his bangs grazing his forehead perfectly. He was wearing casual, fashionable clothing over top of his slim, yet slightly muscular, build. He was definitely more attractive than me, I was slim but had no muscles whatsoever and his hair was slightly longer than my light brown hair, giving it more of a wavy quality that I desperately wanted mine to have. I couldn't stop staring at him and he seemed to notice before awkwardly greeting me with an apprehensive look in his eyes.
"Heeeey Reece," he said, giving me a slight wave. "Why don't you come on in, it's pretty cold out here".
"Oh yeah, thanks, sorry I was just..." failing to come up with anything, I just let the sentence drop off and walked inside. He was right, it was getting cold out now.
"So, how was your day today?" I asked, trying desperately to change the subject and willing him to forget about how I had stared at him on his doorstep. It was Saturday night, so I hadn't seen him yet today.
"Well, I went shopping with my mom for a bit and did some homework, so it was just alright I guess...You seem nervous or something, is everything alright?" he asked as he led me to his living room after putting away my coat, which was decked with a flat screen TV with surround sound, a leather couch, two leather chairs, and a fireplace. Did I mention Nick's family was somewhat wealthy?
"That sounds nice, and of course everything's alright, why wouldn't it be?" I replied, my voice getting slightly higher at the end as I took a seat on the leather couch. It did that when I lied or was hiding something sometimes, and fuck did I hate how this moment had to be one of the times my voice betrayed me.
"You're voice got a bit higher there, that usually means your hiding something...," Nick said, giving me a sceptical look and taking a seat beside me on the couch, his eyes never leaving my face while I did everything I could not to make eye contact with him.
"You know me too well, you know that?" I chucked a little, finally bringing myself to look into his beautiful brown eyes.
"Well, we have been spending a lot of time together lately. I mean, I know you and Blaine and even that new kid Kurt have grown pretty close, but I kind of think of you as my...my best friend," he looked over at me with a smile on his face and a slight blush on his cheeks.
"You're my best friend too," I said, smiling widely at him, perhaps a little too widely, but he didn't seem to notice.
"So, you wanted to tell me something?" He asked, trying to avoid the awkwardness of his confession by changing the subject again.
Well, here we go, I guess it was now or never. Or maybe I shouldn't do it now, he had just called me his best friend after all, I didn't want to scare him with an even bigger confession of mine. What if that's all he ever wanted to be, was just friends? I couldn't handle losing him as a friend too. Then again, what if he did like me and the best friend confession was just his way of easing into telling me about his feelings for me? I didn't know what to do, I was at a loss of words and Nick seemed to notice.
"Heeelllooo? Earth to Reece!" Nick yelled as he waved his hand in front of my face.
"What? Oh, sorry, I was just thinking..." I said absentmindedly, letting my gaze drift down towards my hands which were currently clasped tightly in my lap.
"Oh yeah, what about you? You know you can tell me anything right? I care about you and I want to know if something is bothering you," Nick said while trying to manoeuvre his head so he could make eye contact with me again.
I lifted my head up and looked into his beautiful eyes once again. He looked at me and smiled, and I smiled back. In that moment, I knew. I knew that I was in love with him and that I just had to know if he felt the same, so slowly I moved my face closer to his and when he didn't pull away immediately, I pressed our lips together in a chaste kiss.
Before the kiss could deepen and become more passionate however, Nick pulled away and jumped up from the couch.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's going on here? I call you my best friend and then the next second you're trying to make out with me? What's that about? I'm not even gay man!" Nick shouted, but he didn't really look angry, he just looked more confused than anything.
I couldn't believe what I had just done. I mean, sure, I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I didn't mean to just attack him like that! What the fuck was wrong with me? I didn't know what to say, but that didn't stop the words from flooding out of my mouth
"Oh my god...Nick, I'm so, sooo sorry! I didn't know that you weren't gay, I just assume everyone in the Warblers is gay I guess! Oh my god...I can't believe I did that...I'm so embarrassed, I-I gotta go...I'm sorry, again, and I understand if you never speak to me again," I sputtered out just before running as fast as I could out of Nick's house, grabbing my coat and shoes on the way, and into my car. I never looked back as I sped out of his driveway and raced home to cry myself to sleep...
- End Flashback -
It took me a long time to get over Nick after that. In fact, if I'm being honest, I'm still not completely over him. Kurt was amazing though, he would come over to my house for a bit every day after school and eat ice cream with me, sing break-up songs with me, watch rom-coms with me till we both wept, and even hold me while I sobbed. He became like my best friend during that time, and in a way it was nice considering I had just lost one.
Nick tried to call me a couple of times after that, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to him. I knew how that conversation would go and I didn't want to go through the pain of getting rejected...again. So, I forced myself to cut him out of my life because I knew it was the only way I was gonna be able to get over him. I knew if I tried to stay friends with him, I would just fall in love with him more, and I really could not afford to fall more in love with him. So, Kurt helped me delete his number from my phone and delete him off of my facebook. He even helped separate Nick and I during Warbler meetings. Even though I had only known Kurt for about a month, we had become fast friends, and I couldn't imagine how I had survived this long without him.
Anyways, that's all in the past now. All of this merely adds even more to the fact that I do not want to leave my life at Dalton, with awesome friends like Kurt and Blaine, behind. I laid upon my new bed as I waited for sleep to come (my family had moved to the new house today and this was our first night in Lima), dreading my first day of school in the morning. Thankfully I only had one week of classes before the break came and then it would be Christmas time. I had already made arrangements to spend some of Christmas at Kurt's house, since he lived so close now. Apparently I would have to sleep in a separate room with his step brother Finn though because his parents didn't trust us in the same bed together. As if anything would happen, Kurt isn't my type and I'm not his, but whatever, I didn't mind too much. I had met Finn a couple of times in passing briefly during the few times I had been to Kurt's house to visit. He was very cute and he seemed nice enough. Kurt seemed to notice the way I looked at him the first time I saw him though, and told me not only was Finn straight, but he had also just broken up with his girlfriend, Rachel, and was in no way interested in another relationship. I was a little disappointed about that, but whatever, it's not like I expected anything to happen anyways.
Kurt had told me to try and make friends with his best friend Mercedes, and even Finn's ex-girlfriend Rachel if I could stand being around her, that is. I didn't really know what that meant, but at least I could walk into this school tomorrow and not be completely alone. Kurt had also told me that this school had a glee club filled with amazing people, and I intended on joining tomorrow. Since Kurt had been gone, they could use a new member right? And maybe this would give me an excuse to get to know Finn. As bad as it sounds, I couldn't deny that I found him attractive and it couldn't hurt to at least be friendly with the guy right? I mean, we were gonna be in the same glee club, what's the worst that could happen if we ended up becoming friends in the process? With that thought, I drifted off to sleep, a little less depressed about starting at a new school tomorrow...
