Mia is a little OOC here, but that's ok because she's grieving. yay, angst!

I walk through the brush surrounding me. I feel the cold wind biting through me, as if I was not there. I feel small and insignificant. I wish I had remembered to bring shoes. In spite of all this, I feel numb.

I came here to have peace. Ever since Mango died I haven't been myself. I feel as though I have aged a hundred years in one hour. I know it might be wrong to feel so strongly about a lost cat. I don't care.

My family doesn't understand. They don't know. They think that it wasn't my fault. It is. All of it. I should have realized he wasn't finishing his food. I should have given him his pills everyday.

My family doesn't understand that I am the one who killed my beloved Mango. My sweet, sweet Mango who survived through thick and thin in his short life before I found him. Before grandfather found him.

If only I had paid him more attention. I should have remembered that he needed more attention! After all he was a sick little cat, and he needed care and love in his life, much more so than the regular cat. Mango was not a regular cat. He was Mango.

My colors have gone. I feel that Mango took them with him in retaliation for being forgotten and neglected. I think this is fair punishment. I deserve it.

I come to a clearing. Coming out of the brush, all I can think about is Mango. And how if I ever got my colors back again, I would think of him every time I saw a color appear before my eyes, and his punishment. I will never forgive myself for not caring for him when he most needed it.

What if it wasn't Mango? What if it had been my own child, and I was too caught up in life to notice? I shudder to think of this. I do not want to think about this.

I walk home. I am not numb anymore. My feet are, but not the rest of me. The rest of me is feeling the punishment. The hurt that mango endured. The abandonment. The pain. The thing is, I don't even mind that much. For I know I deserve it.

if you review, then... well idk. but it would be cool if you did :D