So this is my very first story, well that I'm publishing. Hope you like it.
Thanks in advance everyone! This is an AU and more a lieutenant duckling fic.
"Hey, what are you doing outside by yourself?" Emma asked.
Killian had been sitting out on the porch for some time now. Emma wanted to give him his space but she is his best friend and she wasn't just going to let him sit out there and freeze… and least not by himself. Killian had heard her walking out but didn't actually look at her until she spoke to him. He looked up at her and gave her his signature smirk.
Laughing quietly to himself. "Just came out to get some fresh air." he rubbed his hands up and down his jean covered thighs trying to rid himself of the sweat that had built up over the last 15 minutes. It was so cold outside yet he still managed to sweat like a crazy person. "I'm a little nervous" he continued. Inwardly he thought 'a little? How about a lot dumbass' his inner monologue wasn't always the most kind.
Killian looks back at Emma but she is looking up at the night sky with a slight smile on her face, her cheeks pink from the chilled wind hitting her face. She was so beautiful to him; always has been, always will be. This was it, he was going to tell her. He was going to stop being a coward and put himself out there and tell her how he truly felt. 'This is it Jones. Do not mess it up.'
"Oh … and may I ask why you are nervous." She teases, this is their bit, and this is how it's always been. Just as Killian is about to say it all he chokes. 'This is how it's always been, why change things now and risk the worst possible thing happening, losing Emma'
They make eye contact and the words slip right out of his mouth, the problem is it is not the words he had been planning to say.
Killian told her he had a date? A date? Really?
She gave him a soft smile, a smile that did not reach her eyes at all, and a quick nod. It broke his heart. Once again he didn't tell her how he truly felt.
"Well I wouldn't want to keep you from your … date. Have a nice time Killian." She got up and made her way back to the front door and before stepping back into the house she looked at him one more time. He turned his back toward her at the same moment making contact with the most beautiful green eyes he has ever seen. Emma smiles and says "Be careful, please" and walks in to the house and shuts the door.
Killian bows his head, gets up and walks away completely disappointed in himself.
As Emma steps into the house she makes her way to the front room fighting the tears in her eyes. She had wanted to talk to Killian to tell him how she felt. How after all this time fighting her feelings she realized just how blind she really was, but she never got the chance.
Emma knew she wasn't the easiest person to deal with but Killian was always so patient with her. Always a shoulder to lean on and cry, someone to talk to after a long hard day, someone to just be with. When she finally entered the room she heard her brother from where he was sitting on the couch totally engrossed in his video game. David was her adopted brother and was a year older than her. Of course he knew of her plans of telling Killian the truth about her feelings because everyone knew how they felt about one another except for them. Or that's what Emma thought.
He called out to Emma, "Back so soon. I was sure that- " and as he looked at Emma he saw that lost girl that he found all those years ago before she came to live with his family. He jumped from his seat and rush to her side pulling her into a tight hug just as the first tear slipped out. After a few moment she pulled away a few tear stains on her face. He wants to ask but is too afraid to and she can see that in his eyes, just as he can see the hurt in hers.
"I waited too long. He found someone else." That was all it took for all of her insecurities to come rushing back into her mind. All the insecurities that she has been working so hard on since the moment she met Killian. " I mean what was I thinking, he wouldn't want to be with someone like me." "like you, and what exactly is wrong with you Emma?" when Emma doesn't give him an answer he squeezes her hand reassuringly and says "just give it time, it'll work out"
She laughs internally because that's exactly why she is in this mess, because she gave it too much time.
"I think I'm gonna go out for a little while, I just need to be alone right now."
"Okay, just please be safe!"
She nods and is instantly out the door.
15 minutes later she is at the beach. Her favorite place. The sound of the crashing waves and the strong smell of the salt water. She sat there just taking in deep breathes with eyes closed allowing herself to just slip away even if it was just for a few minutes. It's the middle of November and a rain storm just came through leaving the night sky so clear allowing all of the stars to shine their brightest. As she is looking up she feels a single tear slide down her cheek, her body is stilling feeling the emotional pain. She takes shallow breathes now in attempts to calm herself down. It doesn't work because she just keeps thinking to herself how things would have been different had she just said something. The tears come faster and she doesn't try to stop it this time.
She hears her name faintly being called from behind and though she can barely hear the voice she knows just who the voice belongs to. Quickly ridding any evidence of her crying she wipes her face with the ends of her sleeves and quickly runs her covered hand under her nose.
Killian suddenly sits beside her and despite the pain he feels, she also feels whole again. She breathes a little deeper finally being able to and asks, "what are you doing? Don't you have a date?" she turns toward him and he finally gets a clear look at her face. He can instantly tell she has been crying but makes no comment about it.
"yeah I, um, left. It wouldn't have worked out."
"and you knew that by one date, not even a date, its barely been an hour since you left."
He lets a small chuckle, "yeah I know. But what do they always say; when you know, you know."
She takes in a few more deep breathes to finally get back on a regular rhythm. It feels like they have been sitting in silence for what seemed like forever, when in reality it's only been a few minutes.
"I can't do this anymore Emma." He quickly stood up keeping eye contact the entire time. He wasn't backing down, not this time.
Huh- she was so lost, so she kept quiet.
"I'm not going to sit next to you, and pretend like I don't have feeling for you when I have for some time now. And I know you probably don't feel the same way, but it was eating me up inside and I just needed you to know. I just need to know if there was even the slightest chance that you would feel like same way." He looked at her and waited for her to say something when she finally comes to and replies with, "really?" He smiles at her because she really doesn't know. "love, you really have no idea just how wonderful you are." Again she is at a loss for words and with the extended silence. Killian feels as though he has overstayed his welcome and begins to walk away. He is mentally kicking himself the entire time.
He doesn't get to far when he hears his name coming from behind him. It's not the first time Emma has said his name, far from it, but this time it's so different. A good different. She said it in a completely different tone than ever before, this time she said with hope in her voice. Hope for something new. He turned around to face her and she jumped in his arms hooking her arms around his neck and him tightening his forearms around her waist keeping her at eye level.
She stared into his eye for a long while, just getting completely lost in them. She finally realized why she loved the ocean so much, Killian's eye were the exact same shade of blue of the ocean after a storm; clear, blue, perfect.
"You have no idea just how wonderful you are." And before he could say anything back she pulled him by the neck to meet her lips.
The kiss was soft, passionate, and slow. They had plenty of time to discover one another later. Eventually they did have to pull apart for air, their foreheads still resting upon one another. She looked at him and said the words she has been longing to say, "I love you."
And those were, by far, Killian's favorite words ever!
