Hello everyone!

This is basically my first fan fiction, sooo i hope it turns out alright. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter One

Eric Cartman stared at his reflection through the mirror. What he saw didn't disappoint nor please, it just wasn't…enough. Over the years Cartman had slimmed down a couple of inches, though still maintaining most of his "baby fat". Lack of self esteem wasn't ever really an issue with Cartman, or so he thought. There were times when he really questioned his self worth at which he would stand awkwardly alone in his room just looking at himself in the mirror. They say that only when one is absolutely alone by himself can he become a self connoisseur and confront himself. Cartman was having trouble doing this, as a heap of jumbled thoughts and memories would invade his mind each time he tried to think quietly. He used to be capable of using his mind as the ultimate weapon against humanity, but lately Cartman found himself trapped within an interior conflict. At first, he thought it was just hunger pangs, but found that these feelings felt like jealousy. As hard as it was for Cartman to fathom and accept these emotions, each time he heard the tone of Kyle's voice when talking to Stan, he felt a violent surge of anger that would quickly melt into sharp jabs of pain in his chest.

"Good enough," Cartman muttered as he took one last glance at himself. He pushed open the bathroom door and realized that class still wasn't over yet.

"Shit!" Backing into the bathroom again, Cartman decided that lounging around the halls would just inevitably result in him watching the clock in the principle's office.

Pushing one of the stall doors open, Cartman went in and flipped the toilet lid down and sat down on the cold marble. He locked the poorly hinged door and sighed heavily. He needed to figure all this bullshit out, because since when did emotions ever get in the way of him getting his way in life? Getting his way…it seems that ever since he started witnessing Kyle's friendship with Stan grow deeper, his "way" became increasingly hard to obtain.

People no longer seemed to take his antics and tantrums seriously anymore, especially after that humiliating fiasco with Wendy beating his ass to a bloody pulp a few years ago. For awhile, Cartman thought it best to just hang out by himself or with that chipper gay ass Butters on days when he needed an unwitting accomplice. But with his zest for diabolical plans running dry, Butters was of no value to him besides the occasional practical joke. Unfortunately, smearing shit on Butters couldn't compare to the jolt of intense sadistic pleasure he feels when he sees the fury burning in Kyle's eyes. Kyle. The one person who fueled Cartman's existence.

Cartman stared down at the filthy tiled floor and silently cursed himself for ever leaving Kyle with that bastard Stan and welfare boy. What was the point of saving Kyle's life so many times when he was just going to leave him?

Damn you, you fucking filthy Jew! I fucking hate you and yet I can't function without you! I thought you hated me just as much, so why is it so easy for you to just walk away?!

Cartman angrily kicked the stall door as the bell rang signaling the end of class out in the halls. He stood up and unlocked the door, stepping out only to find himself staring into the eyes of Kyle with Stan in tow.

Cartman furiously shuffled past, bumping into Stan into the frame of the door on the way out.

"Dude, what the fuck?"

Cartman gritted his teeth as he identified the voice as Kyle's.

I'll bet he enjoys standing up for his boyfriend. Stupid kike. Stupid Stan can't even speak for himself, and I thought he was all tough being the school jock and shit.

Before he can catch Stan's predictably retarded "Just ignore him, Kyle", Cartman pushed his way through the increasing swell of the crowd and managed to get out of hearing range of the bathroom. Just the mere sight of the two made his insides boil so much that he often wondered how he avoided spontaneously combusting.

Cartman irritably pounded his fist against his dented locker. The piece of crap seemed to always jam on days when he felt the worst.

"Do-do you need some help there l'Eric?"

"BUTTERS JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Butter's eyes bugged and scurried away in fright. Cartman closed his eyes and pressed hard with his palm against the sticky metal surface of the locker. It popped open and a heavy textbook plopped out, followed with a paperback.

"Son of a bitch!" Cartman muttered as he stooped down, throwing the books back in roughly. He paused for a second, suddenly acknowledging the rising heat in his cheeks. A minor brush up like that was enough to induce a fit nowadays.

This is really getting out of control. Why the hell should I even care if I've lost my greatest enemy? I should be using this as a chance to take over the world now that little nagging Jew is out of the picture.

A tiny grin was making its way onto Cartman's face but it vanished immediately when a flash of green and orange appeared in his peripheral vision. Cartman brutally shoved a few loose leaves in his backpack and closed his locker shut with an ear-splittingly emphatic slam. Cartman snickered to himself as Kyle flinched. Consequently, all eyes in the hall were now staring at him.

"AY! What the fuck are you all staring at?!"

"Cartman why do you always have to be such a dick? If you want attention, I' m pretty sure you've gotten plenty already with an ass the size of Texas."

It's been one whole year, and the first real thing he says to me is this. But what else would I have expected to hear?

"Well, well, well Kahl. Aren't we a bit feisty today…?"

Cartman paused. What the hell? He was definitely rusty or something, because whatever insult that was at the tip of his tongue had suddenly evaporated. What had come to him as a natural reflex had now vanished. Kyle was glaring at him impatiently, waiting to take on Cartman's usual racist retorts and getting it over with.

"You…uh…I…you…suck…Jew."

Kyle opened his mouth to shout, but halted abruptly with a confused scowl. Cartman felt himself starting to heat up, never feeling more out of place in his life. He turned and ran as fast as could out the front entrance, leaving a perplexed group of spectators.

Kyle shook his head and walked towards the library where Stan and Kenny waited for their study group.