Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. DUH?!

Summary:

With the fact of leaving Bella alone in the woods made her life extremely empty. Edward had gone to some 'distractions' while Bella was off discovering herself. She had left everything with Edward. How could she live or could she POSSIBLY live? With a miracle of course, that is with Jacob. The story "As Long As We both Shall Live" will not go on with that kind of story, but it would be something even more dramatic. Jacob did exist, but his world wasn't around Bella. He sees her as a friend, a sister. The dearest sister he has.

What would Bella do unprotected? Jacob, on the other hand was off to find some weird stuff for his Volkswagen- leaving Bella with no one except Charlie. Charlie? A human would never understand the world of mythical creatures like a vampire or a werewolf could do. What would Charlie do? Shoot the predators catching Bella as their prey? Yes, that's why Bella was left unprotected.

Victoria and Laurent are still on hunt, searching for Bella. Unprotected, fragile creature. . . What would that do to prevent the predators from killing her? Nothing, of course.

The right thing to say in this summary: Damn! Why did Edward have to leave Bella like that?!

~~Chapter I: The Memory~~

"I'm no good for you, Bella."

"Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like begging.

"You're the very best part of my life."

"My world is not for you," he said grimly.

"What happened with Jasper – that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"

"You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promise that you would stay ––"

"As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me.

"No! This is about my soul isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me––somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you––it's yours already!"

He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder––like the liquid gold had frozen solid.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.

There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.

"You. . . don't. . . want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.

"No."

I remembered those hard times saying goodbye to the ones you loved when you aren't that prepared. I know how it feels, of course, because I've felt it.

I tried to shake off the millions of pain in my head, pretending it didn't exist. Then the words clung in my head as I remembered the deepest goodbye he left me.

"It will be as if I'd never existed."

Those toxic words! I've never heard such cruel words! My mind reacted. My heart felt like it was swelling, blowing up and exploding in my body, but my senses said that I would prove to myself that I was strong enough to forget those memories.

It's been five months since I was completely a wreck. I was oblivious reacting this way for so long, maybe because I'm already used to it.

I accepted that my life would be like this until the day I die. I took my chances and I was prepared to face my death. Even if I was stabbed, shot, an accident or even chocked to death, I was excited to wait for that time to finally rest and remove the pain from my restless body. My Prince departed, so will I.

It would be the same as always Bella, I convinced myself. Once I die, it would mark the first in my Top Ten Best Happenings in my life. Dying would be the happiest day of my life.

I won't commit suicide, especially if my family would experience so much pain. I would rather see them crying because I was murdered.

Murdered would be better than living.

I was stiff because I'd been in my bed for a long time now. Planning on the ways I would like to die or making a biography to leave a trace here in earth, even just a little, at least my family won't miss me that much. I rolled over my blankets and stretched my arms up as high as I could then I sat up and yawned.

After showering, I went downstairs to prepare Charlie some breakfast, my own daily routine to keep him from saying things like, "Honey, are you okay?" or "Any plans for today Bella?" This kind of speech was irritating me enough. Can't my father see that I left my friends in school and I was practically a hideous, cracked-up loner by now? Yeah, I was a loner. A pathetic loner.