Holiday Tears
"Prologue"
Hiei kneeled down onto the solid white ground, too tired to stand anymore. The wind blew ferociously through his black hair, causing the tips it tickle the front of his eyelashes. Winter had come early that year. Too early if you asked him. It was a late November evening and the snow was coming down even harder than it was the day before and the strong wind did not make the temperature seem warmer. Hiei felt his shoes crunch through the thick layer of snow that had fallen onto the cold hard grass as he leaned over and touched the giant rock in front of him.
It was a beautiful black marble color stone with light writing. It was the perfect size too. Not too big and flashy but big enough to make you realize that whoever was buried there was dearly loved. And she was. She really was. Grasping his flowing scarf with one hand, he used the other to trace the letters on the stone as he felt a lump start to come up in his throat. His eyes burned with sorrow and grief as the wind picked up even harder. The snow was beginning to ease down but he was too zoned to notice the change in the snow. He continued to trace the letters as he took in memories. Some were good, some were bad. But he never wanted to forget what it had meant and brought into his life. He departed his hand from his scarf and sat it into the snowy grass, keeping his balance sturdier. He stopped tracing the letters and sat his hand there a moment, still. He could feel the wind begin to freeze his skin as he gripped his hand into a fist onto the ground, allowing him to pick up a handful of snow. He trembled in his grieving just as he did the night it happened. Even three years from now, that night would forever change him.
Hiei sat there for what felt like hours. Finally, the wind began to pick up and he realized that he did not want to be out in the cold weather any longer. He brought his cold hand from the stone to his face and kissed his fingertips. He placed the kissed fingertips on the stone gently as he swallowed the lump in his throat. He gripped the top of the stone and pulled himself up from the snow covered ground. He tightened his scarf around his warm neck and turned his back to walk the other direction. As he listened to the sound of the snow crunching beneath his boots he turned back around at the stone and read it one more time.
Yukina Kuwabara.
Loving wife and friend.
He closed his eyes tightly and quickly turned back around. He started to walk at a slow pace, and then picked up his speed. Soon enough he was running through the fields not letting the direction of the wind hold him back from his running. He gasped for breath as if he were taking his last as he felt his eyes burn with tears.
"Oh, Yukina…… Yukina."
Chapter One
"Greif, Babies and Planes"
Hiei turned over face up on his bed and watched the ceiling fan go in circles in his dark room. He gripped the covers and pulled them over his body letting his chin touch the tip of the material where it was only his head that was uncovered. He was freezing in this cold dark room. Even though he was a fire demon, he found himself hardly ever sweating or becoming warm or hot. It never made sense to him. But when he thought about it he realized that after Yukina's death, it was like his body temperature skyrocketed. Except it went to the cooler temperatures and remained that way. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. He didn't sleep that night. Of course, he didn't sleep much at all during any night anymore. He was completely exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically. He shut his eyes and tried to relax beneath the goose-down white comforter he was covered in. This was the reason he couldn't sleep anymore. Every time his eyes were shut, all he saw were painful memories of the night where he learned about his sister's death. His sweet, beloved, one and only sister. The only person he ever loved and the only reason why he woke up in the morning. Her. No matter how far away he was from her, she remained with him in his heart and spirit and he felt warm whenever she was around. Maybe that's why he was always cold now. He only felt warm whenever she was alive and breathing. And now that she's no longer with him, it took away a part of him. She really was a part of him. She was his blood.
He turned over on his side and brought his knees up to his chest, curling himself into a ball. God, how he missed her. The house has not been the same since that night. Yusuke and the gang bought a house together in countryside of Japan and decided to live here with one another and live normal lives. Hiei did not move in, of course. He thought the idea of it was barbaric, living under the same roof as the idiot. That idiot…. He heard word 8 years ago that Yukina had wed Kuwabara back in Tokyo. He came back to the Ningenkai and watched his sister marry the biggest idiot he had ever known. He did not sit with the others; instead he hid in a tree and watched his sister walk down the isle from there. She was so beautiful. She wore a long white dress that was simple but not plain and ordinary. It fit her so well. Her long hair was up with the glowing veil flowing down her back. Yusuke was the best man. Botan was the maid of honor. As he remembered watching her walk down the aisle towards Kuwabara, he couldn't help but think that he deserved a spot up front with them somewhere. He wanted to be in that part of her life so much. And whenever he saw them kiss, it made him sick to his stomach. But as much as he hated the very idea of having Kuwabara Yukina's husband… he knew that he loved her. To this day, Kuwabara will go up to Yukina's grave and put flowers beside her tombstone. Twice a year: her birthday and their anniversary. Those were the days where Yukina was happiest. Kuwabara always made surprises for her birthday. It was always a day he would make for her. And their anniversary was a day Yukina would always make special for him. At the funeral, he fell to a million pieces. It took Yusuke and Kurama both to contain him as they lowered her into the ground. After seeing how faithful and good he was to Yukina during the five years of their marriage, it was hard for Hiei to hate him as he used to. It was three years ago, and Kuwabara still has not been with any other women. Yusuke tries to get him to get out and meet other people but he always said that Yukina was his one and only and that he would never try to replace her. It was just as hard for him as it was for Hiei, and Hiei knew it. Hiei took a long sigh as he let these thoughts sink in. This is why he didn't like sleeping at night. Because of the things he thought of and relived.
Suddenly there was a slight knock on the door. Hiei lifted up his head gently and made no motion to go and answer it or to respond to the knock. Instead, he laid his head back down onto the feathered pillow.
"Hiei, it's Kurama," he could hear his youko friend talk quietly on the other side of the door. He knew that he was asleep in bed or at least trying to be. "I'm coming in." Hiei heard the door knob turn as the door creaked open. He listened to the red headed fox shut the door behind him and walk over the bed and sat down at the end of his feet.
"Keiko cooked us some good food downstairs," he said after a moment of silence. "It's going to be ready in about five minutes. It'd be nice if you came down and ate something with us," he turned his head to his fire demon friend all snuggled up in the covers.
Hiei made no movement. "Not hungry," was all he could say.
Kurama turned his head and looked down at the floor with his hands folded in his lap. He closed his eyes and wished so much that Hiei would get himself out of this room. He was just making things harder on himself. He sat there for a moment again until he finally spoke.
"Hiei, you haven't eaten in three days. You need to eat."
"Not hungry," he repeated.
"Come eat. It will make you feel better."
Hiei felt rage hit him.
"How the hell would you know what would make me feel better?"
Kurama raised his eyebrows at Hiei. He hadn't spoken much the past couple of years. And this was indeed his first insult since Yukina died. As much as he tried to contain himself, he slipped his hand over his smiling chuckle.
"Get dressed and come downstairs. I don't want to ask you again."
He got up and walked out the door.
Hiei sat there and turned his hands into fists from annoyance. He wanted more than anything to not go downstairs and see everybody. But he knew that if he didn't do it now, Kurama would keep coming up here. This was he can satisfy the damn fox a little.
- - - - - - - - - -
The table was quiet. Hiei's presence caused everybody to say very little; afraid of saying something that would upset him even more than he already was. Hiei played with his pasta, twirling it around his fork unable to find the dish appealing to his stomach. Nevertheless, he tried to put something down. Maybe it would really make him feel better. The silence was irritating him. He knew what was going on. They were feeling sorry for him. He did not want pity from any of the assholes at that table. He didn't even want to be there around them. He didn't want to see their faces. He saw nothing but their faces for three years and he was sick of it. And he was sick of living in this house. However, he knew he had no other place to go. He left Muruko in Makai whenever he heard about Yukina and he never thought he would find the strength to get up and go back. So he stayed in Nigenkai. He heard word from another in Makai that she found another heir. Screw her then. He didn't want her or anything she offered him. He thought about picking up and leaving this God forsaken house but he knew deep down that he would not find happiness any other place. He was miserable here, but he knew he would be miserable wherever he went. As much as he hated it, it was a fact. So he decided to take Kurama's advice and try and stay here with everybody until he found something else to do with his life. So he was just moping around the house like some pathetic girl watching soap operas.
"Botan, could you pass me the salt please?" Yusuke asked Botan across the table. Botan picked up the salt and reached over the table and handed it to him.
"This is amazing, Keiko." Yusuke smiled and kissed his wife on the cheek while the others agreed and nodded with him.
"Oh, it was nothing you guys. It's my pleasure!" Keiko smiled cheerfully.
"Well.. Are you going to tell them?" Yusuke asked Keiko as he elbowed her in the ribs.
Hiei's attention was caught and he looked up at the married couple, He looked around and realized the others were doing the same. Keiko took a deep breath and looked at her husband with a dreamy smile on her face. They looked at one another for a little bit and Keiko turned around and faced everybody.
"We're going to have a baby!" she exclaimed.
Hiei shut his eyes whenever he heard the shrieks of Botan and the others. Suddenly, the table became loud and chaotic with questions and comments. They sure knew how to break a silence. Suddenly, Hiei's attention was drawn to Kuwabara down the table. Kuwabara was smiling and congratulating his best friend on the news, but Hiei saw something different about him than the way he was acting. He could see sadness in his eyes and he knew that he really wasn't happy at the news that Keiko and Yusuke just shared. The truth was Kuwabara and Yukina wanted children very much. They talked about it for a year and Hiei overheard Yukina telling Keiko that they were going to start trying to get pregnant. He didn't know what to think about it. Half of him wanted to pound the shit out of Kuwabara just thinking about what they will have to do in order to get pregnant but at the same time, he saw his sister's eyes whenever she was telling Keiko about it. She was so excited and happy to become a mother. He knew that it was hurting Kuwabara listening to his best friend talk about becoming a father. Because he and Kuwabara both knew that he would never become one.
- - - - - - -
"One ticket, please…. Thank you," a long brown haired girl took the plane ticket from the lady at the counter and placed it in her bag around her shoulder.
She made her way through the busy airport trying to dodge people on cell phones in a rush to get onto their plane. Just watching people like that stressed her out. How the hell can they live their lives like that, she thought. She took a deep breath and tried to relax as she made her way to the line of security. This was the fun part. She had never been on a plane, but her friend said that going through security is a major pain in the ass. She took her spot and
waited in line. She looked at her watch. Twenty minutes till three. She groaned and wondered if she would ever get out of this place in time. She took her ticket out of her bag as she tried to wait patiently. This was her very first plane ticket, and she was curious to see what they looked like. She scanned the time and date and destination. Okinawa, Tokyo.
