A/N: I was challenged to do a one-shot by my friend Crystal, centering around Emma and Henry. So I chose to extend the scene where she first finds him in his "castle" in the Pilot episode. This is how I think it should've gone. Hope you like it!
Disclaimer: Once Upon A Time and all character's and familiar dialogue from the show belong to Disney/ABC and the show's brilliant creators and writers. No profit is being made from this just having fun with my favorite show.
An Orphan's Dreams
"Even the possibly of a happy ending, is a very powerful thing," Mary Margaret Blanchard's eyes bore into Emma's, seeming to see right through her. Seeming to realize that she had struggled all her life with the very fears that her biological son Henry was only just beginning to discover. And somehow, the boy's fourth-grade teacher also seemed to know just how much Emma didn't want her son to feel the way she had growing up.
Lost. Lonely. Unloved.
Henry had run away not two hours ago. His adopted mother and Mayor of this strange town, also known as Regina Mills, (though Emma privately preferred pain-in-the-ass Mills), had let her out of the small jail cell that she'd woken up in that morning at the sheriff's station in order to help find him. At first, she suspected the blonde had taken him, but the prison bars that had been between her and the door quickly vetoed that theory. It made sense that the Mayor would suspect Emma though, given that not 12 hours ago Henry had hoped on a bus to Boston to find her. Logging on to his computer, she found that Henry had stolen his teacher's credit card, and upon meeting Mary Margaret, realized he still had it. Emma didn't believe her son had gone far, not so soon after they'd returned, and she didn't think this woman knew anything either. At least, not until now. Not until she'd given her that look.
"You know where he is, don't you?" she guessed, raising an eyebrow.
Mary Margaret gave the blonde a small smile, "You might want to check his castle," she said simply.
His castle?
Emma saw the silhouette of her ten-year-old son, sitting lazily atop the slightly rickety jungle gym, also known, according to Henry's teacher, as his castle. The blonde trekked across the mulch and carefully climbed the worn wooden ladder. "You left this in my car," she said casually, handing him his precious fairytale book as she sat down next to him. "Still hasn't moved, huh?" she asked, referring to the clock tower that was permanently stuck at 8:15 a.m. Last night, when she'd brought Henry back after he'd arrived at her city apartment and dropped the bomb that he was, indeed the one with the baby boy she'd given up for adopted ten years ago, more than enough of a shock for one night; he'd sworn that time in Storybrooke was frozen. According to him, everyone in town was a character from his book, but they were cursed. Emma was the only who could restore their real memories and bring back the happy endings.
It was an awful lot to swallow.
"I was hoping…" Henry started, interrupting her thoughts, "that when I brought you back…thing's would change here. That the final battle would begin."
Damn it! He even talked as though he were in that book. He really believes all this. And Emma didn't have a clue how to handle it. "I'm not fighting any battles kid," she sighed, using a pet name for him and hoping to cut the conversation off then and there.
"Yes you are!" he persisted, "You're gonna bring back the happy endings."
If only Happily Ever After existed, she thought. Then she mentally slapped herself. Snap out of it Swan! "Can you cut it with the book crap?" she couldn't handle this. She was not going to get attached to this kid. She couldn't. Not after-
He cut her off, "I know you like me. You're just pushing me away because you feel guilty." Emma hoped her sudden swirl of emotions didn't show on her face. "But it's okay," Henry continued, "I know why you gave me away."
Emma just stared at him. This was not how she expected this conversation to go.
"You wanted to give me my best chance," he said, as if that reason alone made it all ok between them.
Emma tried to keep her emotions in check. Henry was right of course. But there was soo much more to it that than that. So many years of pain and hurt and rejection and fear. Yes, she'd wanted to give him his best chance, but it was also selfish. Because she'd wanted a chance for herself too. And though she couldn't admit it, she'd regretted giving him up every day for the past ten years. "How do you know that?" she asked finally, her voice shaking slightly.
"The same reason Snow White gave you away."
Oh great, not this again! "Listen kid," she said as she exhaled noisily, "I'm not in any book. And I'm no savior," she paused, making her voice gentle, "You were right about one thing though, I wanted you to have your best chance."
Then she gulped, "but it's not with me," she finally said, because as much as she wanted to, she couldn't take him.
She couldn't let him have the unstable life she did, hoping from place to place, barely meeting rent, and never knowing where she was going next. That was no life for a kid. A kid needed a home, a school, a family,a stable life. A kid needed love. She didn't know how to give that; she'd never had it herself.
And; she was still scared. So undeniably terrified that she would mess it up. She couldn't raise a son, and that was final.
"Come on," she said, turning to make her way down the ladder, "let's go."
"Please don't take me back there," Henry begged, shuffling to his feet, "my life sucks!"
Emma stopped, one foot on the first wrung, hands grabbing the sides, suddenly angry. Her son had no idea how lucky he was. He had everything she had ever wanted as a kid, and he didn't appreciate any of it. "You wanna know what sucking is?" she yelled, abandoning her position on the ladder in favor of stepping towards him. Tears were already clogging her throat, but she had to make him understand. "Being left on the side of a freeway; my parents didn't even bother to take me to the hospital! I had a family til I was three, but then they had their own kids so they sent me back!" tears were trickling down her cheeks now, but she didn't care.
Henry turned slowly and came back on the platform to sit by her, "They did?" he asked, brown eyes searching hers. She shook her head wordlessly.
"I don't remember much, but I get glimpses," she admitted quietly, "his smile, her laugh, trying to walk to one of them. I was their baby." she heaved a wet, teary sigh; she didn't know why she was admitting this to her kid. Something told her she shouldn't be, but she needed this. And it seemed to be the only way he might just understand how lucky he was.
"I thought I would be with them forever," this time, she finally looked up at her son, whose eyes were full of sympathy. "When she got pregnant, she was so happy. Of course, I never knew what was going on, but I saw her getting bigger, and she smiled even more than usual, so I knew something good had happened."
Henry nodded, "So…what happened?"
Emma puffed out air, thinking back. "First it was small things, like he would say we didn't have time to go to the park, or that she was always wanting to rest," the blonde glanced at her son, who was waiting with a comforting gaze to hear what she had to say, "But then they got bigger, like they'd forget to pick me up from school, or I'd have to put myself to bed."
Henry's eyes widened. No matter how busy she was, Regina was never not home to give him his afternoon snack and help him with his homework. And he couldn't ever remember his mom not tucking him in at night. At least, she always did before-
"You're mom may not be perfect," Emma said, looking straight at him.
He could see that whatever she was about to say, she was completely serious. Henry knew he'd better pay attention, because even though he'd known her for only a short time, he'd never seen her look like this. So…fragile, desperate for him to understand… almost the way he looked last night, when he'd first told her about the book. He bit his lip, but held her gaze as she spoke.
"But she's doing her best," Emma continued, "I know it may be hard to see now, but she wants you, she loves you." At this, Henry looked down, Emma sighed. "When I was your age…I would've given anything to have the kind of life you do," she admitted honestly. When Henry didn't say anything, she started to get up, because really, what else could she say? "Come on," she tried again, "let's get you home."
But when she turned around, Henry was still rooted to his spot, "She doesn't want me," he whispered, his tone wedged somewhere between bitterness and extreme hurt, "Not anymore."
Emma's eyes watered again, and she blinked rapidly. It was only then that she realized there must be more going on than she thought. "Why would you say that?" she asked, kneeling beside him and leaning in close, "Is it…is it because of the book?" she hated to bring that up again, it was the only thing she could think of.
Her son shook his head though, brown hair dropping in his eyes. He bit his lip to keep from crying. Emma hugged him close, "Then what is it, kid?" she asked softly, "Why don't you think she wants you?"
"It's just…ever since…" he let out a soft moan, deciding how to continue. Finally he said, "About a year ago, I was looking in the attic for some of my old baby clothes, I was supposed to bring them to class for a presentation about my best childhood memory. I'd been looking for this old snow suit, planning to talk about the first time mom took me sledding, when I was five," he smiled at the memory. Then his face softened as he continued, "I had knocked over a box of papers by accident, and I… I found my adoption certificate while I was cleaning."
He looked down and Emma hugged him closer. She'd always known she was adopted, but if she hadn't…she shook her head, she couldn't imagine finding out like that.
"Oh kid," she breathed. She didn't know what else to say. For a moment they weren't mother and son, they were just two orphans trying to figure out where they belonged. Emma stiffened slightly when she felt Henry nuzzle into her, but relaxed as soon as the initial discomfort of such a strange, tender moment had passed.
"I was so mad at my mom that day," he whispered, Emma simply nodded; she didn't dare say anything, she knew Henry needed to say this, and she wanted to give him any support she could. "We had a big fight that night. I told her I'd always felt different and asked her why she didn't tell me, yelling the whole time. She lost her temper as soon as I said the word adopted. She had tried to insist it didn't matter, that she was my mom…but…"
"It wasn't the same, was it?" Emma asked. Her son shook his head, his short locks tickling her bare chest under the red leather jacket she always wore.
"She ripped the papers from my hand and shouted that it wasn't any of my business. I was never aloud to talk about it again."
They were silent for a while, both lost in their own thoughts, until Henry said, "The next day, Miss. Blanchard gave me the book. That's when I started to notice something was different here, that I was the only one changing."
Realization dawned on Emma, "and that's when you started looking for me…" she said, shocked that he'd been searching for so long. But then again, it'd been 28 years for her, and she was still looking.
Henry nodded.
"But how did you even find me?" she asked. It was a closed adoption; this didn't make sense.
"I saw your signature on the bottom of the papers and asked Mr. Gold to help me track you from there."
"The pawnbroker helped you?" Her son shook his head, "Henry you-"
"I was hoping when I brought you here, well, my mom is getting worse now, turning back into the Evil Queen," he continued, stopping her again. "I know you think it's crazy," he told her, "but I just…I don't feel… I want to be with you."
He had the biggest chocolate colored eyes on the planet, and right now he was looking at her like a little lost puppy just trying to find his way home. In that moment, Emma knew she wouldn't be able to leave him, not when he looked so lost and alone…not when he looked so much like she had. He was losing hope fast, and she was the only one who could restore it. The thought scared her to death, but she knew she had to do it.
"You can't stay with me," she finally said, watching his face droop, "but," she sighed, "I'll always be here." It was a heck of a promise to make, but somehow, she knew she could keep it, just by the way his face lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Really?" he asked.
"Yeah kid," she smiled ruffling his hair, "I'm not going anywhere."
"Yes!" he almost shouted, hugging her tightly, "Thanks Emma."
She felt her lips curl into a smile, "Anytime kid, anytime."
As they walked back to Regina's house, Emma thought about everything that had just happened. She'd just made the biggest commitment of her life to the little boy beside her, but she was determined to keep it. It might be a bumpy road for her, learning to be a mother, but she would try for all she was worth.
Because every orphan deserved to dream and every kid deserved a happy ending. Looking at her little shaggy haired son next to her, she realized that he might just be hers, just as much as she was his.
