Ian's Menagerie
A/N: If you're an MPreg fan, I'm sorry to do this to you, but my co-writer isn't a fan. Unless we're making fun of it. So, sit back, relax, and drive safely.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Beyblade or Drifter (see ending note)
Chapter 1: Screwin' Around with MPreg
BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP!
Bryan blearily opened his eyes, the bright morning sun shining through the crack in the curtains, and glanced at his beeping alarm clock. 7:33. "It's too damn early!" he swore, but got up anyway, pulling on a black T-shirt as he left his room. Reaching the kitchen, he swore in Russian at seeing a HUGE mess.
"IAN!"
Spencer yawned upon walking in as well. His hair was a wild mess and the usual headgear that adorned his head was missing. At seeing the kitchen, he too yelled for the youngest of their teammates.
"Ian, what were you thinking!"
"SHUT UP!" came Kai's irritated shout from the upper regions on the house.
"Hey," Bryan said, looking at Spencer, "where is Ian?"
"I don't know", Spencer replied, annoyed. "That's why I'm yelling for him."
Tala walked in, looking both half asleep and ticked off. "He's not in his room, so he's not here."
"Damn," muttered Bryan.
Pots and pans were scattered around the kitchen counters. Cupboards were left open with boxes hanging out, many of which were empty. Mud was smeared on the bottom cupboards and all over the floor. To Spencer's utter horror, all of the beef jerky had been eaten.
Smirking at the look of terror on the larger boy's face, Bryan looked around. "That little runt's got explaining to do." He put away the pots and pans, but left the mud; Ian had to clean something up.
"Where did that runt go!" Spencer fumed. The thought of changing out of his pajama bottoms and into his regular clothing never crossed his mind. His want to pound Ian was strong enough to make him forget entirely the thin blanket of snow outside.
"Wherever he went, he'll be back soon. Breakfast is in half an hour", Tala told them, heading into the main room to watch the news.
Spencer looked over at Bryan. "Think Kai had a hand in this?"
"Yeah, and Tala sleeps with a teddy bear."
Spencer looked at him in surprise, eyes widening. "He does?"
"God, you're an idiot." Bryan sighed and started to make breakfast. After all, Tala had set a time, and he'd give Bryan Hell if he didn't supply.
"IAN!" they heard Tala's voice yell from the other room. A heavy thump followed as something hit the floor.
Bryan rinsed off his hands and went into the living room. "Tala, what the Hell?"
Tala was sitting on the wooden floor with a small dog sitting on his lap, front paws on his stomach. It was a tiny dog, no bigger than a half loaf of bread, and was the same tan color as the boys' skin. It was all feet, meaning it couldn't have been very old, still only a puppy. It was dirty, leaving footprints on Tala's T-shirt.
"Ian brought this home", Tala explained, pointing furiously at the dog.
"Ian!"
"It followed me!" Ian said defensively.
Spencer came in when he heard the noise. He immediately burst out laughing upon seeing Tala on the floor with the animal on him.
Tala sent a death glare at Spencer before saying to Ian, "If it followed you home, then why is it wearing a leash?
Bryan smiled. It wasn't every day that you saw Tala Valkov covered in dog drool. "Where did you find it, Ian?"
"It followed me from the park." Ian skittered behind Bryan to avoid the angry dagger glares from the older boy.
"It followed you?" Tala wasn't buying it.
"That's what I said!"
Bryan knelt down and pulled the dog off his friend. It turned around and pounced on him, licking his face. "Ian! Get it off!"
"Come here, Drifter!" Ian clapped his hands, and the dog jumped on him.
Tala looked at him in disbelief. "It has a name?"
"She's a girl, and her name's Drifter."
"We're not keeping her, Ian", Tala told him, his voice holding finality.
Ian hugged Drifter. "Please, Tala?"
"None of us have any business raising a dog."
Bryan went to his friend's aid. "Tala, at least let him keep it until the pound opens."
Tala looked down at Ian, who held the dog in both arms. "Drifter" looked up at him with pathetic brown eyes, pleading and looking like they were holding back tears. Dogs didn't cry, but its eyes gave that effect. Then there was Ian, who was also looking hopeful. His friend didn't have a lot to treasure and he truly seemed to want that dog. After years in the abbey, he was no doubt looking for companionship in someone who could never turn his back on him.
Tala cursed his brain for still working like a computer, even after de-cyberization. "Fine, you can keep it."
Drifter barked and pounced on Tala, licking his nose happily. He cringed and swatted at it, missing.
"Ian, get your dog!"
Ian, however, was laughing. Bryan rescued Tala though. "C'mere, little one." The puppy barked again, jumping on him as he had done Tala.
"You're good with her, Bryan", Spencer commented.
"She's a puppy. It's easy to be good with a baby. Get her off, will you? I have to go finish breakfast."
Spencer tried taking Drifter. He really didn't even know how to hold her. "Uh, here girl."
Drifter barked, jumping on Spencer and snuggling in his arms the way she wanted to be held. She certainly was a helpful puppy.
"I think she's tired", Spencer commented as he watched the small puppy open her mouth as wide as it would go and yawning cutely.
Drifter snuggled against Spencer, closing her eyes. Tala looked at the taller blader inquiringly. Spencer shrugged and sat down on the couch, placing the puppy on his lap. She licked his fingertips and settled down, tail wagging slightly.
"Since when were you a dog-lover?"
"I. . . I have no idea. . ."
Tala sat down next to him, grabbing the remote and began flipping through the channels for the news. "Just don't get too attached."
Drifter lifted her head and crawled toward Tala, staring at his collar. With Spencer's help, she stalked along the top of the couch and burrowed into Tala's collar.
"Gah!" Tala screamed in shock as he felt soft fur tickle his neck followed by a small warm body, then miniature paws on his shoulder. A wet nose sniffed his ear curiously before she licked it. "What the-?"
The puppy's cold nose contacted his toned chest briefly until the tiny thing fell down into his t-shirt, the furry body wriggling against his lower stomach, tail tickling his side and abs.
His chest shook as he tried to suppress the building laughter brought by the puppy's tickling. "What is she doing!"
Ian bounded in and burst out laughing. "Bry-Bryan! Get in here! Tala's pregnant!"
Spencer clapped a hand over his mouth, but still his spout of laughter was heard. Shaking with stifled mirth, Bryan entered.
"Who'd you get kinky with, Tala?"
"It's not like that!"
"Was it Kai?" Spencer asked. "Who was on top?"
Bryan couldn't hold it anymore; he burst out laughing. "T-Tala! W-Why didn't you t-tell us!"
A very tired-looking Kai entered, his hair still a mess and minus his shirt. "What the Hell is going on down here?"
Spencer snickered. "Your hair is still a mess after making love."
"With who?" Kai asked groggily. "And how much weight can you gain overnight, Tala?"
Ian renewed his laughter. "Your lover's pregnant, Kai! You're going to be a father!"
Kai blinked. Once, twice, three times. "What in the name of Hell are you talking about, midget?"
Ian rolled his eyes. "I'M NOT A MIDGET! And Tala's expecting your child, Phoenix-boy. Be happy!"
"WHAT? YOU LITTLE IDIOT, GUYS CAN'T GET PREGNANT!"
The poor, little puppy began whimpering pitifully from beneath Tala's jacket and shirt. She was scared in this dark place with hard "walls".
He looked down at his stomach, eye brows raised. "That feels weird."
"Is . . . it time?" Spencer asked, pretending to be concerned.
Bryan finally stopped laughing, walked over to Tala, and placed his hand on his 'stomach'. As if talking to a very dense child, he said, "Oh, Tala, it's only kicking. There's nothing to worry about, Spencer. This baby won't be coming for a while yet."
Kai just looked all the more confused while Ian burst out laughing again, clutching his stomach as he fell to his knees, panting through the endless mirth enveloped him.
"Br-Bryan, are – are you the midwife?"
"I have no medical training, but sure, why not."
That definitely caught Tala's attention. "What the Hell are you talking about!"
"Who's going to deliver your love child", Spencer explained calmly.
"What are you all saying? There's no way Tala's pregnant. He's a guy! And last I checked, none of us were in the closet."
Ian gave Kai a pitying look. "What's it like being that dense, Kai?"
"Ian, shut up!"
Bryan looked at Tala. "Want it out, or are you going to stay pregnant for the rest of the day?"
Tala growled. "Just get it out!"
"By C-Section, or should I just reach up there and pull it out?"
Kai, Ian, and Spencer burst out laughing in unison.
Drifter, terrified and huddled against Tala's stomach, went quiet and shook fiercely. All of these unknown sounds petrified the poor pup to the point of cuddling up to her "mother".
Tala's growl sounded terribly like a real wolf's, but quieted in confusion when he took notice of the creature inside his womb.
Bryan looked down at his hand, which still rested on the bulge that was the puppy. "She okay, Tala?" There was no hint of joking in his voice.
Tala rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, "Maybe she's dead."
Drifter gave a violent shudder and whimper. Bryan looked hard at Tala and said, "Lay back. She's coming out."
"Everyone, out of the room," Ian said jokingly. "Bryan's performing surgery."
"Are you kidding me!" Tala yelled at Bryan. "Go to Hell!"
"Someone's having a mood swing," Ian said in a sing-song voice.
The silver-haired boy shook his head. "And she'll die in there."
"All you have to do is reach up my shirt and pull her out." Tala really wasn't thinking about what he was saying.
Bryan raised an eyebrow. "I would like to point out that your T-shirt is tucked into your jeans, Tala."
"Maybe Kai should do this. He is used to going there after all", Spencer joked.
"DEMONOV!"
"Cool it, Kai. He was kid –"
"Ow!"
"Guys," Bryan said, "not now."
"He's going into labor!" Ian dove into the kitchen.
The puppy began frantically scratching Tala's stomach, hoping this would get her out.
"Get her out, Bryan!"
Bryan shoved Tala over, pushed up his shirt, and pulled the little puppy out. "Congrats, Tala. It's a girl," he said, running his fingers over the scratches as he handed the red-head the tiny dog. "They'll heal. Good thing she's so small."
Tala blinked, taking in everything that had happened so quickly. While he was thinking, Drifter crawled across his chest and barked cutely in his face.
"Hey Tala, she looks just like you", Spencer said, petting Drifter on the head.
"And nothing like her father."
"Ian, not now."
Kai summoned Bryan into the kitchen, where breakfast was sitting, waiting, for the Russians. "Where did that thing come from?"
"Ian brought it home, and Tala's letting him keep it. I know it isn't a cat, Kai, but Ian seems to have gotten attached to her, and I'm not about to protest having her here." Bryan crossed his arms over his chest and met Kai's glare with a decided expression.
"But what's this about Tala and me being lovers, and Tala being pregnant?"
Bryan looked amused. "We were joking. We all know well enough that guys can't get pregnant. We were just having fun."
Their team captain glared at them. "I wasn't!"
"Just because Drifter got caught in your shirt."
"Ian, that's enough!" Bryan said forcefully, being Ian's 'big brother' figure. "Everyone, get in here, because I'm not reheating breakfast. Ian, get Drifter a water and food dish."
After the hectic delivery, everyone was ready for breakfast, hoping it wasn't a disaster as their dinner the night before had been. Ian took two bowls from the lower cupboard and filled one with water, while the other remained empty.
"We can't feed her. . . ." Ian looked disheartened; he had really wanted that puppy, but he had forgotten that the five had never had pets.
Bryan patted the younger boy's head. "I'll take you to the pet store after breakfast. Until then, give her some warm milk."
The black haired boy did so, setting both dishes relatively near the table, but far enough away that no one kicked them over.
Drifter, who still snuggled in Tala's arms, started whining and nudging him.
"What? Your breakfast is over there", he told the small thing.
She whimpered again and looked over at the two bowls. Kai shook his head, sighed, and took a swallow of orange juice. Ian looked up at his dog, at the food, and then back again.
"I don't think she wants to leave Tala," Bryan said.
Ian looked down at his plate. Even a puppy could leave him for the other members of his team. Wounded, he took a waffle and started to eat, though he choked on the first bite.
The puppy whimpered and squirmed, this time looking at Ian. Bryan patted her head.
"It's hard to please everyone, isn't it, Drifter-girl?" he asked.
Tala felt a small pang of guilt, which rarely happened even to him. Taking the pup in one hand, he dropped her in Ian's lap. "I don't want a dog. She's yours, remember?"
Drifter licked Ian's salty cheek and then looked at Tala, confused. Then her brown eyes turned to Bryan, Spencer, and Kai. She whimpered again and curled into a ball.
"It's strange having so many people around, isn't it?" Ian asked. "Overwhelming."
She nodded her little head and covered her nose with her front paws.
Tala grabbed a plate of waffles and sat down at the large table, glancing at Drifter. "She needs to have her shots taken. Or at least a bath."
"We'll do that today," Bryan told Ian. "We'll get her a clean bill of health and the supplies she'll need."
The smaller boy looked up. "Where will she sleep?"
"That'll depend on how she fares tonight. She'll start in your room, all right?"
Ian nodded, petting the puppy. "There's going to be a storm tonight, Bryan."
"I know. We'll see how she handles storms and then figure out where she sleeps. I'll try to keep her in you room, okay?"
"Okay."
Spencer looked at Bryan. "You really are the midwife, aren't you?"
"How so?"
"You're taking care of the newborn."
Tala slammed his fork down. "Would you just let that go!"
"Yeah, Spencer. Enough's enough," Kai said thickly; his mouth was full of waffle.
Bryan shrugged. "I'm not about to put her through anything like the Abbey." He cringed at the memory. "Besides, she's only a baby."
Drifter barked in agreement before trying to climb up on the table, smelling waffles. Taking a leap, she began padding along happily the length of the table.
"Drifter, get back here!"
Bryan picked up the pup and tapped her lightly on the nose. "No, no. That's not yours." Still holding her in one arm, he rummaged through the junk drawer in the bathroom and drew out a baby bottle. Just what it was doing there, he couldn't remember, but he was glad he had kept it. Rewarming the milk, he poured it into the bottle and sat down in his chair, Drifter crooked in his weaker arm as the other guided the bottle to her mouth. "Here you go. Try this."
"He really is the midwife", Spencer noted.
"Since when did we have a baby bottle?" Tala asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Search me," was the compounded reply from Bryan, Ian, and Kai.
A small ray of fatherly admiration shone onto Bryan's face as the tiny pup sucked hungrily on the bottle. And he looked the part of a father. Drifter was held like a human baby in his arms as she sucked down the milk. Then, she detached from it, yawned, and snuggled down close, falling asleep. Bryan smiled softly as he put the bottle on the table and lightly petted her all over, gently rubbing her round little tummy.
Ian grinned. "Bryan loves her too," he pointed out.
Spencer stared wide-eyed and with shrunken pupils. "Bryan . . . you're being . . . sensitive."
"Tell anyone else and even Seaborg won't recognize you."
"Or not." Kai smirked.
Spencer shrugged off Bryan's cruel threat, having been very use to them after years of having to endure the fellow teen. Tala suddenly wrinkled his nose as an unpleasant smell made itself known to his wolfish sense of smell.
"What the heck is that?" he asked the others.
Bryan looked down. "Aw, Drifter!" he groaned. "You need a bath, pup."
Tala looked Ian. "Give her a bath. She is your dog, after all."
"I'm eating," was the muffled reply.
"Fine. Bryan, you're the midwife."
"No way in Hell, Tala."
"Then who will?"
Kai left the kitchen, having finished his plate. Bryan and Ian met each other's gaze and nodded.
"I'll help Ian," Bryan said.
"I guess I'll help", offered Spencer, who had put away his breakfast dishes.
End Chapter 1
IN LOVING MEMORY OF DRIFTER THE WOLF-DOG. sniff sniff We miss you, Drifter.
