Marthio5x finally presents...
Brutally Elfired 2: Launched Again
Author's note: Who would've thought I'd forget this old story? I know the old one was out-of-bounds*, but I'll never forget how good I felt when I first wrote it. ALSO, THIS WAS POSTED EARLIER THAN IT'S SCHEDULED RELEASE DATE!
That's all.
After the weird events in Brutally Elfired, Marth and Mario decided to launch it again. They knew they couldn't mess up or else their new job will be ruined forever. Aren't I a great narrator? Please, oh please tell me how good I am at narrating... Anyway, some events weren't even told in Brutally Elfired 1. Just like when the studio was nearly destroyed, and when Mario moved over to Altea, and all that good stuff. Oh. Did I mention the Brutally Elfired studio is located in Altea? Well, now you do. And no. I repeat, NO. The guy named 'Marth' in this story is not the one you know from Miss Grandbell or Leanneserved: Finding a Job. (I'm not saying that because Marth has a job in this story or anything...) So there will be NO type of references to what happened in those stories. Now the small introduction is done! Enjoy the story, you Crimean soldiers!
"Are you serious right now?"
"No. I just wanted to try somethin' out."
"Seriously?"
"Well yes, you idiot!"
"Shut up."
"Don't worry. I'll shut up when Awakening comes out!"
"Let's go."
Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't know who was talking behind those walls. But enough about me. I'm just a narrator. I don't have a part in this story. Anyway, Marth and Mario decided to team up and go against those guys who stole their fans from them. So they set up a trap and lured almost all of those fan stealing characters into their old place. And why did they steal the fans? It's so warm in here! But I see why they stole the fans. And I won't say it. "You better not say it!" yelled Marth. "And it's almost 10:30!" Yeah, but what time is that in Grandbell? Huh? Huh? God Daein. It's 10:30. And now the show finally starts. So good ol' Marth and Mario walk on that gray and black recently painted stage and signal two soldiers to force our next victim onto the stage. They stuffed him in a chair, tied his arms and legs on it, and snapped on a high-powered shock collar. They pulled in...wait they have to tell me who they pulled in! Who is this? Celice? Well um, it's not. Celice does not look like that! And he wouldn't do a thing to Marth or Mario! And Marthio5x had a 5% crush on him! There's no way that's Celice! Anyway, Mario finally announces that stupid line in the script. "So, our first fan-stealer is... Ike!" Aw what? Who the hell is Ike?! He looks like a Fire Emblem character so he probably did something to Marth.
That's my guess though. Basically, the whole plot of this thing is to severely embarrass the character onstage. And that's what it means to be Brutally Elfired! A few seconds later, Ike starts making that same face he makes in Radiant Dawn. The one I hate. No, I don't hate FE10, I never even played it! I mean that weird face Ike has in that game. "So, Ike... are you enjoying this yet?" Marth asked. "That shock collar is soooo fitting for someone who's not from an 8-bit world." "Damn you, Marth! Damn you, Mario! Damn you, writer!" yelled Ike. "Hey! Keep it clean, myrmidon," said that Altean looking Frelian soldier who worked for Daein and Lycia. "I am not a f- OW!" yelled Ike as he got shocked with that 'beautiful' shock collar. "I am not a Myrmidon. I'm a Lord, goddammit!" Ike yelled again. Hey! Where's the shock? "Ow! Stop shocking me!" That's more like it. "You're not a Lord! You're not even part of royalty and you got the nerve to call yourself a Lord," said Marth. "Come on, guys. This ain't Brutally Elfired. How about we delve deeper into Marthio5x's Deep Fire Emblem Character Insults and O.D. with the Ike snaps!" said Mario. Everyone, except Ike, agreed. "Ready, Ike? I know you're not! Too bad! Hey guys! Besides the word 'like,' what other word contains Ike? Dislike!" said the soldier. It was Mario's turn to go. He said "Mercenaries named Ike always fell of their bike. They later lost their skills on a bike and had to go back and ride a trike. That was actually an old poem targeting Crimeans named Ike." Ike looked upset. He still didn't get why he had to be tortured like this. "So Ike, where'd you come from?" Marth asked. "I ain't telling you!" Ike said. He got shocked by the soldiers again. "Talis! I'm from Talis!" he yelled. After that, Marth just started doing some crazy stuff. Well not really, he just made a reference to some song. Ike seemed to get it but I didn't. I don't think you'll get it either.
Marth: No you're not!
Your hair's a darker blue
And you're wearing a cape
I'm pretty sure that thing about your mom is a fake!
Ike: Man you got this all messed up
My mom is dead
She's in her bed
It's her fault my hair's so blue
That's why I looked so much like you
Marth: Objection!
You look nothing like me!
Mario: I'm pretty sure you're jealous of the Altean prince...
Ike: I'm not!
Marth: Hold it!
Bring the Prince to the stand!
Wait... Who else the prince in here?
And then it ended. "What was that for?" Ike asked. "You said you were from Talis. Not Talis, Eliwood! TELLIUS!" Marth yelled as he glanced at Ephraim in the audience. Time was almost up. The weird team decided to pull one last prank. Mario blindfolded Ike and started rolling his chair around. Meanwhile, Marth pulled down a large backdrop of the Crimean castle with an animated picture of Elincia waving. Mario stopped rolling the chair and took Ike's blindfold off. He also freed Ike from the chair. "See how nice we are?" Marth asked. Ike was amazed. "Oh my god! How did you do this?! Oh Elincia! I wanted to give you something!" Ike yelled. He ran right through the backdrop curtain and into the wall. He left a dent the size of his head and fell. The whole audience was laughing at him. He was embarrassed. He tried to run away and bumped into Marthio5x. She grabbed him by the cape and asked "Permission to fire?" The whole audience screamed in a 'yes' matter. So she attacked Ike with some good old Fire magic. Ike's clothes were all messed up. "Who reclassed the Swordmaster?" he asked in surprise. Nobody knew except Marthio5x herself. Finally, Mario announced the ending of the show. "Thank you all for watching!" he said to the audience. "And thank you for reading," I said, even though I don't have a part in this story. Ike was later shipped to Daein and forced to stay in a hotel there, as Leanne's roommate. He did not like it. And what was Leanne doing in Daein out of all places?! But he'd rather be Leanne's roommate than be Celice's roommate. And what was Celice doing in Daein?! But he complained Celice was downright annoying and anti-Crimean. He kept saying Crimea is where everyone commits crimes and stuff like that.
TheEnd
Hope you enjoyed it!
