Disclaimer: I own none of this. So sad huh?
Explanation: I was thinking about two of my favorite series', and how the opinions of the characters influenced, if only a bit, my own. I came to the s00per sp00ky conclusion that the thoughts and feelings of Lain Iwakura (from Serial Experiments Lain) are quite similar but at the same time opposite of Nny's. I figured the two of them would have one helluva conversation.
…Life is but a dream…
It was late. 3:00 am to be specific and Nny was completely wide-awake. A suggestion from Reverend MEAT to go to a club was met with random swears and not-so-empty threats. But, he also had nothing else to do 9the bodies were cleaned from the tunnel to Squee's house) so he figured a walk might be okay.
He whistled Chopin's Waltz No. 10 in B Minor (A/N: My favorite song!) as he walked down a busy road, and at one point, past a deserted club. Nny caught a glimpse of a young girl sitting alone at a table, who appeared to be mumbling to her self. A minor tinge of sympathy ran through him, but he quickly shrugged it off, figuring she may be as homicidal as he was. Or worse, as cruel and shallow as his victims. Nny walked on towards a 24/7 store in search of Brainfreezes and ramen (A/N: sounds familiar…^_^).
On his way back, he passed that same club, and saw the same girl, sitting in the same position. He sighed and decided in spite of himself to go in and see what her damage was. He figured he could take her on if she WAS insane, and if not, maybe he could help her out. He had nothing better to do, after all.
Lain stared down at the little chip. What good would deleting herself be? It wouldn't be any different from how things are now. Her parents wouldn't care…her sister was insane now…Julie, Reika…they barely knew her. Arisu, maybe…but maybe not. She was quiet. Lain picked up her arm just to make sure it was still there; however it caused a figure in the shadows to cringe. She looked up suddenly, frightened only by instinct, to see a young man walking towards her.
"Hi," she said. Lain wondered why anyone was in Cyberia at all. But, it was best to talk to him since he may be the only one to converse with her for a while.
"Hello. Who might you be?" Nny asked, peering from the shadows into the dime light that illuminated Lain's table. She cringed back a bit. Of all the things and people she'd seen, he certainly was among the creepiest…same Masame Eiri. Fucking loon, Lain thought.
"Lain Iwakura. Though to be honest, I'm not entirely sure who I am, or how many 'me's' there are running around. I'm pretty sure I'm me…the only me…but—" Nny stared at her peculiarly. Perhaps she was insane too. He thought for a moment how incredibly horrendous it would be to have more than one version of him self running around. He was having enough trouble keeping track of his own doings. For a moment, he felt a bit of sympathy creeping in, as he saw this girl's predicament to be quite awful. He reflected then, wondering if she'd done what he had, or been through what he had, and decided he was far worse off.
"I'm Johnny, but you can call me Nny, seeing as how you seem to be almost as insane as I am." Lain grinned slightly, then looked down again.
"Maybe I am insane. Maybe Masame Eiri is insane. He…keeps telling me I'm software…he tells me so much. And I don't want to believe him, but he claims to be God so—" Nny's ear's perked up.
"You talked to God?"
"Not exactly. He claims to be God, but sometimes he says I'm God…of the Wired, that is. It's an advanced form of the internet…so addicting. Like accelia." (A/N: If you have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, it is my grand recommendation that you either go surfing a bunch of Lain websites, or go watch the anime series…it rules. –(o-o)/)Lain wondered why she was rambling on to a stranger, and such a creepy one at that. He looked like a homicidal maniac. (A/N: Haw. Haw.)
Nny considered all of this. Well, she didn't seem like she was worth killing, and this was getting to be quite the conversation, so he'd spare her.
"You said some nutcase told you you're software." He was intrigued at the thought of someone being what he wanted to become; a machine. "Well, hey, I'm not gonna argue with this guy because I don't even know you, but, you do seem pretty real to me. Unless you're a hologram or an android or something," he grinned slightly. Nny resisted the urge to reach out and touch her arm, to reassure himself that she was indeed human and solid. Lain sighed.
"I'm not even sure. I feel and think and breathe and eat and all those other feelings and things…but…everyone and everything is falling apart," Lain said as she stared at the chip again.
"Ever kill anyone?" Nny asked suddenly. Lain considered this, with a slight unease.
"Not…not exactly. Note quite in the physical way, but, I've deleted people's memories and indirectly drove them to suicide." She looked guilty, and her eyes welled up with tears. Nny turned up his nose a bit, as Lain reached over to hug him as some sort of closure. He instantly shoved her back into the little booth she'd be sitting in. He stared intensely at her, but then sighed and patted her on the head.
"There there, little, um, Lain. I'm not sure why you're so upset though; I'd give anything to be a machine. To do only what I had to to survive and nothing more. To be void of emotion." Lain glared up at him through tearful eyes.
"How COULD you….why would you want to?!" she cried.
"Well perhaps my life isn't as happy and shiny as yours!" Nny scowled. Lain opened her mouth, about to explain to him just how 'happy and shiny' her life was, but judging by the way his face was twitching, she backed off.
"Do…do you have any family?" she asked, tying to change the subject.
"Maybe. I don't know though. I hope I didn't kill them," he shrugged nonchalantly. Lain blinked in semi-confused fear.
"Ever had people tell you they saw you somewhere you never were?" She asked, fiddling with her hands. "Ever had people accuse you of doing or knowing something you didn't?"
"Yes."
Lain sighed and continued. "Ever been able to delete the memories of everyone in the world? Ever been told you're God? Ever had a showdown with a long dead suicidal maniac—"
"Hey!"
"—who somehow morphed into a hideous mechanical fleshy monster? Ever….been on the weirdest date of your life?"
"Yes! Yes. Look, Lain, these questions are all terribly poignant and everything, but now I have some questions of my own. Have YOU ever not known what your life was like before a certain point?"
"Yes."
"Have YOU ever tried to kill the only person who seemed to care about you?! Have you attempted suicide every other day?! Do you get stared at, laughed at, teased and ridiculed every time you step out of the fucking house?! Do YOU have styrofoam doughboys and floating rabbit heads talking to YOU?!" Nny sucked in a breath, and sat back down, as he had been rising out of his seat with each bitter word. Lain, who'd been curled into the corner of the booth, sat back up. She sighed and looked up at Nny, who was snorting and pouting with his arms crossed.
"I think you'll be okay," she said. There was a slight grin on her face. Nny gave her a questioning look, then an idea formed.
"Could you erase MY memory?"
I didn't really mean for this to be more than a one shot deal, but I figured I'd add some more suspense to it. Review if you want a second chapter!
