Disclaimers: Don't own anything. Clear as glass. Now on with the fic!
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Ode To A Ninja Brat
By Charles Xavier
(Parody of 'Piano Man' by Billy Joel)
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Now Yuffie Kisaragi's a ninja brat,
And a thieving ninja brat is she.
She would loot all your money and Materia,
And punch out a old man's gold teeth.
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He'd say: "Girl, don't you have any manners now?
I'm not really sure where they've gone,
But you're sour and sad,
And you drive people mad.
Why must you go rob a poor bum?"
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Give back our Gil, you're a ninja brat!
Give back our Gil, tonight!
For now you can laugh so conceitedly,
But one day we'll get you, alright!
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Now Tifa at the bar is a friend of hers,
Who always serves her guests with beer.
And she's quick with her fists
And her dexterous kicks.
She could yank poor old Yuffie by her ear.
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She'd shout: "Yuffie, I believe you've been stealing things."
As she'd give the ninja a pinch.
"AVALANCHE is never pleased with your antics.
You're sneaky and sly as the Grinch!"
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Now Vincent spends his nights in his coffin,
Slumbering alongside the dead.
Then out pops the snatcher,
And he'd wake to catch her,
With mad eyes blood-curdling red.
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And the Turks are hunting her everywhere,
As dear Rufus throws a fit of rage.
Yes, he's sitting in darkness and loneliness,
Trapped inside Yuffie's smelly steel cage.
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We'll get our hands on that ninja brat!
We'll get our hands on her, tonight!
We could all rejoice in pure harmony,
If she'd get her ass kicked, alright!
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Now Lord Godo is ruler of all of Wutai,
His beloved wife long-lost deceased.
But he blows off his lid,
From that tiresome kid,
Who would tease him and leave him displeased.
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And his cursing sounds like an animal,
And his mouth is spewing with foam.
Yuffie gives him the moon,
Impending her own doom,
And tonight, she was not to leave home…
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Punish the girl, she's a ninja brat!
Punish the girl, tonight!
She's such a disgrace to her family,
Lord Godo will cane her, alright!
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Owari
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Author's Note: Good news! I'm writing a sequel to 'If I Could Be You For A Day'. Should be just as funny (if not funnier) to read. Do look out for it in future!
