Owen was walking through the halls of the hospital trying to find Teddy. Ever since they started working together in trauma he kept tabs on her. He wanted to be respectful of her space, but he also couldn't help wanting to know what she was up to, where she was, and how she was. He'd kept his distance, but ever since she started growing he couldn't help but want to get closer. He missed their friendship, and the ease, but he knew they'd get back to that eventually. Unfortunately by the time everything settled with Betty and Leo, and he realized how distracted he had been, Teddy was almost 8 months pregnant. He knew he hadn't been there enough. Besides work he didn't really know much about her personal life anymore except what she'd offer up in casual conversation. The other day he overheard she was looking at houses. He was happy she was putting down roots, but was also disappointed when she turned down his offer to move in with him. He realized in the moment he should have waited. After all, Tom was with her, and the offer came off casual. Ever since that conversation Owen couldn't help but imagine the four of them living together, but Teddy hadn't mentioned his offer, and he didn't want to push. "Have you seen Doctor Altman?" He asked the charge nurse in the ER. He had already roamed past the OR board, on-call rooms, cafeteria, attending's lounge, and most of the hallways he knew she usually roamed on her daily routine. But he searched with no luck. This was out of character for her to not be back in the ER right after her lunch. "No Doctor Hunt I haven't seen her since she took a patient to surgery this morning. Doctor Webber has been here for the past couple of hours. I assumed he was covering for one of you." It was actually Owen's day off, but he came in with the excuse that he needed to catch up on charting. In reality, he couldn't stand being at his house during the day. Leo stayed at child care on his days off as to not interrupt his schedule. He had been doing this for a while because his schedule kept fluctuating. And now he kept Leo's schedule that way because he knew Teddy could go into labor at any moment, and he wanted a set schedule for after the baby was here. He was nervously giddy, but also terrified to become a father of two soon. "Richard. Hey. Are you running the ER today?"
"Hi Owen. I am. Are you coming on shift?"
"I'm not. Unless you need help? Technically it's my day off, but I'm here..."
"Say no more Owen... I get it. I used to spend most of my time here even when I was supposed to be off, but we've got it under control. I'm supervising the interns." Richard gave Owen a wink and patted his shoulder.
Owen turned to the side, lining up shoulder to shoulder with him, "Richard- Can I ask- Have you seen Teddy?"
"Oh." Richard nodded. "That's why you're here. I haven't seen her perse- not since this morning in the elevator. But Bailey asked me to cover the ER for the afternoon."
The longer it took to find Teddy the more anxious Owen was getting. He ran off as soon as Richard ended the sentence. To find Bailey.
He fidgeted with his phone while in the elevator thinking about texting Teddy, but he decided to inquire about the situation with Bailey first. "Dr. Bailey! Owen breathlessly shouted from across the corridor when he saw her locking the door to her office."
He leaned on the side rail as she made her way towards him. "Doctor Hunt. What can I do for you? Towel?" She sarcastically questioned observing his flushed face, and droplets of perspiration glimmering on his forehead.
"Teddy. Have you seen Teddy?" Owen worriedly asked straightening his posture.
Bailey pulled him to the side. "Owen- I suggested she take the afternoon off after her surgery this morning. She was pale and seemingly restless. She protested the suggestion to go home, so I wanted her to go to OB, and get checked out prior to returning to the ER. That was about forty-five minutes ago."
"Thanks!" Owen shouted, turning away from Bailey, and jogging towards OB. Ever since Teddy's scare he was worried it would flare again. He assumed the worst. Kicking himself for not arriving earlier.
Owen's key card buzzed open the entrance open to OB, and he walked straight to the nurse's station, "Can I speak with Dr. DeLuca?"
"Hi Doctor Hunt, Dr. DeLuca is in with a patient."
Owen sighed- he could only assume the patient was Teddy, but no inclination of this was offered, and he wasn't paged so he couldn't interrupt. He walked down the corridor staring at the ground. He wished things had been different. If only he realized his behavior sooner. He kept trying to force thing in his life. Ever since Germany he thought he was losing everything. He kept clinging onto what he could control. Or thought he could control. He didn't take a step back and realize how parenthood changed him. Until it was too late. There was barely a fragment of time that he didn't have help with Leo from Amelia. Even prior to them living together again, she had helped him. He didn't know parenthood without her, and his emotions got caught up in all that. Hindsight. He thought to himself. They could never work, and instead of realizing this when Teddy came back he went back to the familiar life he had known prior to her arrival. Only realizing how big of a mistake this was after it crashed and burned. As much as Amelia's words hurt. She wasn't wrong. Everything changed when Teddy came back. But not because of the baby. Because it was Teddy. His love for her was undeniable. To everyone around him, but for some reason he kept making the hardest possible choices. He stopped and leaned against the OB wall. Maybe I should go to therapy he thought to himself. Like Megan said. Since Germany he hadn't felt like himself. Something was missing. He felt flat. Not depressed, but flat. Going through the motions. He was unbelievably happy with Leo, and the news of the new baby, but he got caught up in his routine and was starting to realize how much he was missing emotionally. He wanted to tell Teddy how he felt, but she was so happy, and smiling all the time. He didn't like Tom. But after looking back at the hurt she must have suffered coming back to Seattle he felt as if it wasn't right to impose his feelings. He loved seeing her smile again. Even if it wasn't him making her smile. He continued on his stroll of OB waiting for Carina. He turned the corner and saw her. Teddy. He exhaled in relief. She wasn't the patient with Carina. He slowly walked towards Teddy, and realized she was standing in front of the hospital nursery. He paused his steps. He could only see her profile from where he was standing. She was so beautiful. Her hair curled in a ponytail with pieces pulled down, framing her face. Her hand was resting on her bump as she peered into the window. His heart swelled. He walked towards her and guided his hand across her back to her opposite shoulder. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. "Owen," she knew it was him by his touch. She continued to look forward. "Bailey told you, huh?" with a soft tone. He turned his head towards the site of the newborn babies resting in their bassinets. "Teddy," he replied with a soft alike tone to Teddy's.
"The baby's fine." She rubbed her hand from the spot it had been resting up the curvature of her bump, and crossed her arms.
Owen turned his face towards her's. "What's wrong?" He softly prodded, knowing something was tearing at her thoughts.
She sighed. And headed towards the nearest empty private room. It happened to be small conservatory with a few chairs lining the wall and glass windows overlooking the greenery of Seattle. There was a small counter with a coffee pot, water dispenser, and an adjacent ice machine. The smell of coffee hit her nose as she walked in. She'd never been in this room before, but it was beautiful. A small hideaway she thought could come in use in the future. Owen followed her and closed the door. He sat down in the furthest chair waiting for her cues. She stayed standing, overlooking the view. Her arms crossed again. "They're so small." She stated, softly filling the silence. She kept her gaze forward. "They are." Owen agreed, clearing his throat.
Teddy moved her position, resting both her hands on her back, lining the top of her hips. "I put in an offer on a house yesterday." She confessed, releasing a puff of air from her cheeks. Owen moved his gaze towards his hands resting in his lap. He was disappointed.
"It has bay windows. And original hard wood floors."
He looked back up at her. Her right hand remained rested in the same position and her left was flailing in the air following her words. He loved it when she spoke with her hands, but usually it was when she was anxious. "The one with ghosts?" He concluded, trying to not show his disappointment in his inflection.
She turned towards him, and sat down a chair away, resting on hand on the arm of the chair and the other on her thigh, brushing her thumb near her bump. Turning her and resting her chin on her shoulder, "It's the closest to your's." She replied, blinking and pressing her lips together. "Owen…" "I feel so silly." shaking her head and returning her gaze forward, "I can't even get excited about her arrival because I'm so stressed." Closing her eyes as her voice began to break. "Hey," reaching out for her hand across the chair in between them.
"No- it's fine. It's fine." She said, shaking away the tears.
"Teddy- talk to me." he softly squeezed her hand
"No Owen- I'm not breaking down here. I can't. I need to keep moving forward. For her." Now rubbing her hand up and down her bump, attempting to ground her emotions. "I feel so guilty. This entire pregnancy I've had a whirlwind of emotions, and she can feel every one of them. It's starting to catch up with me, and her. I can feel it." Shaking her head. "This morning- it wasn't my incompetent cervix." Raising her eyebrows and shifting her position in the chair. "I just happened to toss and turn all night because," she paused, scratching her forehead.
The silence filled the room.
Caressing her hand, he asked, "Is it difficult to get comfortable?"
"No." "I mean- yes, it's becoming increasingly more uncomfortable for me, but it's not just that- I- I couldn't stop my mind from running." She said, getting up from the chair.
"I've been so distracted, I've been here for 29 weeks, and I haven't done one thing to prepare for my daughter. Our daughter."
"Hey- we have time" Owen assured her, getting up from the chair and walking towards her.
"We have six weeks! Six weeks. I have so much to do, and I'm so pregnant." her tone was frantic and she returned to the chair putting her hands to her face
Owen quickly followed and sat down in the seat closest to her
"I'll help you with everything. I'll be there every day. I'm- I'm sorry I've been so absent. Maybe if I had been there we would've started preparing earlier. I mean- it's unfair for you to have gone through so much of this alone. I'm so sorry, Teddy."
She lifted her head and rested it on his shoulder, "I miss you" she solemnly confessed.
"I miss you" he returned, leaning his head on her's
"So… What's first?" he inquired
"I want her to have a name." she determined, nodding her head and resting her hand on the spot she could feel her move the most,
"I- I don't think I've let myself completely bond with her." she sighed
"I've been so terrified of taking care of babies and stressed about nothing being settled. And, if I'm honest, I've been sad…" "I let myself imagine what it would be like when I got here, and I didn't recover when it all came crashing now" "I mean- I love her already, Owen, but it's tangled up in that night and our relationship being so different, strained, ever since…"
"I've been trying to compensate for my loneliness ever since…" "I don't know how to explain it"
"Is it as if you haven't felt like yourself? Since that night?" He suggested…
They both raised their heads and their eyes met
She nodded, "It's as if something went missing"
They were both changed. That night changed their relationship. They could no longer deny their feelings. That night's happiness and pain took something they could never get back, but it also gave them something.
Teddy released her hand and took Owen's, guiding it to their daughter's favorite spot of the day. She soaked up this moment, watching his face as he felt their daughter shift around inside her.
Soon after, he leaned over and whispered in Teddy's ear.
Her eyes told him all he needed to know, she approved. They had settled on a name. A name that meant so much to Teddy, and their story. He took her hand and kissed it.
They were finally figuring things out.
"Would you feel comfortable coming over to my house tonight? We could eat, talk some more stresses away, and I would love for you to properly meet Leo."
"I would love that, Owen"
to be continued…
