Disclaimer: Not so much
"It happened. He did it. I may be at a loss for words." Tony speaks out to no one in particular.
Ziva and McGee both look at each other, knowing it didn't actually matter they spoke up because DiNozzo would keep on spewing the thoughts out of his mouth.
Ziva took the bait. "What happened now, Tony?"
"It's Peter O'Toole."
"A friend from college?"
"How long have you been in America now, David?"
"Sev. . ." She goes to answer but should have know it was a rhetorical question.
"In that seven years, Zee-vah, I've mentioned Peter O'Toole. One of the most underrated British actors. Lawrence of Arabia. What's New Pussycat? The Lion in the Winter." She looks at him blankly. "He voiced a character in Ratatouille."
"Oh, that cute little mouse movie. I remember now. Underrated, how? Are you going to tell me what happened to Peter O'Toole?"
"He retired today. He was nominated eight times for an Oscar. Eight but he never won. It's a shame."
McGee pipes up, "He lost to Gregory Peck in the To Kill A Mockingbird."
Tony gives him a look but just keeps talking, "Yes, McIMDB, he did."
"Okay, well clearly he knew it was time. You cannot expect him to do movies forever, can you? Seriously Tony that would be like you working at NCIS until you are ready to retire."
"And what is wrong with that?"
"You may miss out on something."
"How can miss out on something you've never had?"
Ziva shuffles over to Tony's desk sensing his disappointment deepening. She sits on the corner of desk, in recent months, a spot she's been getting reacquainted with. Tony eyes keep skimming the news article of O'Toole's press release on his retirement. Even though he didn't acknowledge Ziva, he reads aloud, The heart for it has gone out of me: it won't come back.
She sits there in silence as she tries to say something comforting. She tries, "Tony. . . "
"You'll miss out on the job you once had, DiNozzo if you don't grab your gear."
"I'll get the car, Boss."
With Ziva and McGee already gone, he relocates his paperwork to their desks because he won't be there in the morning. He has planning this vacation for awhile now, he's not letting some work get in the way. Gibbs will understand, right? With that mode of thinking, he decides to call it a night.
He arrives at his apartment, all the accoutrement in order for not leaving his couch for the next few days. He glances at his watch, still early enough for one film, he figures he could get one out of the way.
As he approaches the DVD player to set up for tonight, The heart for it has gone out of me: it won't come back keeps popping into his thoughts. The heart for his job hadn't gone out yet, right? His heart had experiences with numerous breaking, repairs and pieces taken he never got back. Maybe it wasn't it job – maybe it was life he thought he lead but never did. He thinks about what it would've been like staying in Baltimore, marrying Wendy, having kids. It doesn't matter now, because he knows he and Wendy never stood a chance. He and EJ wouldn't have lasted either - the secrets, it was doomed from the start. He was just biding time.
The act of trying to care about someone that isn't Ziva, that aspect of his heart, has been gone for more time than he's willing to admit right now. His heart whether she knows it or not belongs to her. For what it's worth, he thinks she does.
The rapping at the door tears Tony away from his thoughts (thoughts he's pretty good at burying).
"You did not start the film, right?"
"I thought you were coming over tomorrow morning."
"We never did finish our conversation today. I thought we could start early." Ziva nonchalantly walks through the door and finds her way to the couch. Tony is right beside her.
"Are we going to watch a movie or chat, Ziva?"
"What is the matter? I see you are still upset about that actor."
"Nothing, I'm fine. People leave professions and things even people they love all the time. I just want to make sure he is appreciated."
"Are we talking about the same thing?"
Tony rolls his eyes. "Of course we are, sweetcheeks."
"I do not believe you."
"Do you ever?"
She doesn't acknowledge the direct question; she just changes the subject, "Is movie going to be frightening? You portray Hitchcock as the 'Master of Suspense.'"
"We'll be dealying the Alfred Hitchcock marathon until tomorrow. You may deal with it better in the daylight," He laughs "Tonight, I present Lawrence of Arabia. Buckle your seat for three and half hours of cinematic genius."
Ziva buckles her imaginary belt as Tony presses play. "I am still surprised you have never made me watch this before, Tony." She squeezes his hand, a gesture he was not expecting yet he reciprocates and doesn't let go.
"There's no time to waste, then, is there?" Tony knows full well that Ziva won't make it through this movie but having her here is enough.
